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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Think She's Not Ready For Kinder, What Do You Think About This?
daycare 04:54 PM 02-28-2012
SO my niece is 4.5 My In-Laws are the ones that are practically raising her.
She has only been in daycare for about 7 months and has had a very very hard time adjusting. She was a TV Bubble baby/toddler prior to that.

What she can't do:
NOt potty trained
cant ask questions
cant answer questions that are open ended
feed herself
sit for any length of time, includes listening to a story, eat or to do a project
listen to instructions or directions no matter how many times she was told in however many different ways she was told
dress self
little to zero coping skills
acutally little to zero self help skills


She can:
tell you every shape
count to 15
count 10 objects
Knows her letters upper and lower case
knows letter sounds

She is currently in a daycare where she is the oldest by 2 years. I told my in-laws I think she needs to go to a preschool with a routine and what not. They just brag about how smart she is and show off this GIANT NOTE book of work sheets that she was forced to do. She is also punished at her DC when she gets answers wrong which I can't believe anyone would do and I get so mad that my family send her back there.

My in-laws finally accepted my nagging and talked to their doctor about it. He said that he does not think it would be a good idea to change her into a main stream place like that right before having to go into kinder in just a few months later...

UGH I want to be helpful, and I teach kinder ready every day I think I should know something. SHe is NO where near ready if you ask me....what do you think????
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DCMom 05:27 PM 02-28-2012
It's hard enough to bring up the subject with a client; the fact that it is your neice adds a whole separate dimension. Be ready for the hard feelings if the in-laws are not open-minded and willing to accept advice.

To be honest, I stopped at 'not potty trained'. That alone speaks to the maturity level of the child. It's not about rote learning ('smart'), it's about being socially ready to start school.

Good Luck!
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Country Kids 05:49 PM 02-28-2012
I don't know about your schools but our schools allow kids that aren't potty trained to attend and expect some every year. One of my friends who teachers has a couple in her class this year that still aren't and they are headed to first grade!!!!! Teachers are just starting to expect to have these types of children and sooner or later yes, they will start showing up with their pacifiers still-

So even though she is behind in those areas she will probably be miles ahead with knowing the shapes, letters, sounds and counting then other children. I don't think a teacher ever has a balanced classroom in kindergarten. Either they are teaching some all their academics or teaching the other half of the class social skills. That is why I like to have my little ones prepared in everything, kinda gives the teacher a little break knowing some of the kids are at least ready for school.
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Heidi 06:25 PM 02-28-2012
Do you think there is any chance that IF she went to kindergarten, she might get some services she needs? OT perhaps? That would be the only benefit for sending her, as far as I can see.

As for the potty training, she's got about 6 months for that to get taken care of!

I assume you don't want her in YOUR dc, or your location is not compatible?
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daycare 06:33 PM 02-28-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
Do you think there is any chance that IF she went to kindergarten, she might get some services she needs? OT perhaps? That would be the only benefit for sending her, as far as I can see.

As for the potty training, she's got about 6 months for that to get taken care of!

I assume you don't want her in YOUR dc, or your location is not compatible?
No I tried her in my daycare but I could not care for her. At that time we thought she might be special needs and I asked my in-laws to take her to a place that could give her more one on one care.

She would not listen to me at all, would not talk at all. She used to just repeat every last few words of what you said. LIke if you said lets go outside now, she would say outside now outside now over and over and over. This was at the age of 4
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Heidi 06:43 PM 02-28-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
No I tried her in my daycare but I could not care for her. At that time we thought she might be special needs and I asked my in-laws to take her to a place that could give her more one on one care.

She would not listen to me at all, would not talk at all. She used to just repeat every last few words of what you said. LIke if you said lets go outside now, she would say outside now outside now over and over and over. This was at the age of 4
ok, NOT trying to diagnose anything here...but the first thing that popped in my head is Autism Spectrum...Echolalia...AND that would fit with the difficulty with coping & self help, but the average to above average intellect. When was the last time she saw a pediatrician?
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daycare 07:02 PM 02-28-2012
I really don't know. I think that my family is trying to hide it. I know she has been really sick ever since she started daycare. I'm assuming low immune system. Every week she is sick with something and sent home from daycare.
I know they also over react and take her to he doc for every little thing. I think they just don't tell the doctor about it. Btw. My husband is one year away from being a doc and his mom is one too. They are both in denial about it.

She did have an evaluation through the court child physiologist who said she was just started late into the world of communication.
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melskids 03:17 AM 02-29-2012
I agree with what bbo said.....LET her go to kindergarden. She will get the services she needs there.

I have a little guy leaving in the fall for pre-k. As much as I hate to see him leave, he needs certain services that mom is refusing to accept. I know the school will pick up on it, and he will get them there.
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SilverSabre25 05:23 AM 02-29-2012
Before I student taught in a kindergarten class, I would have said, NO she's not ready.

But now, I say, PLEASE let her go. She NEEDS to go. She WILL get the services she needs--if not this year, then next.

In the kindy class I student taught in, there were several kids that were soooo far behind and soooo clearly in need of services. These children were not academically ready for first grade, hell they weren't even ready for kindergarten! But they got passed to first grade, and the lead teacher told me that it was 100% because they would get more and all of the help they needed once they were in school all day 5 days/week.

One little boy I still think about from time to time, missing him and wondering how he's doing. He was SUCH a sweetheart and so badly in need of some love and understanding...I digress.

Your niece, bless her heart, definitely has something going on. She's not just "late into the world of communication" that's hogwash! Her parents will be forced to accept it and face it. I just hope she is going to a great school with all the resources they need to give her the services she needs.
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daycare 02:16 PM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Before I student taught in a kindergarten class, I would have said, NO she's not ready.

But now, I say, PLEASE let her go. She NEEDS to go. She WILL get the services she needs--if not this year, then next.

In the kindy class I student taught in, there were several kids that were soooo far behind and soooo clearly in need of services. These children were not academically ready for first grade, hell they weren't even ready for kindergarten! But they got passed to first grade, and the lead teacher told me that it was 100% because they would get more and all of the help they needed once they were in school all day 5 days/week.

One little boy I still think about from time to time, missing him and wondering how he's doing. He was SUCH a sweetheart and so badly in need of some love and understanding...I digress.

Your niece, bless her heart, definitely has something going on. She's not just "late into the world of communication" that's hogwash! Her parents will be forced to accept it and face it. I just hope she is going to a great school with all the resources they need to give her the services she needs.
here is one of the only issues....we are in CA and due to budget cuts there is no special anything any more. NO MORE extra help of any kind.

In our district there are almost 40 kids to a class room and no helpers.
No music programs and now there is talk about cutting recess time to have more class time. UGH here comes more over weight kids.;...

The only extra there is, is if a teacher steps up and volunteers their time, which I hardly see any more either...
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AmyLeigh 03:10 PM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
here is one of the only issues....we are in CA and due to budget cuts there is no special anything any more. NO MORE extra help of any kind.

In our district there are almost 40 kids to a class room and no helpers.
No music programs and now there is talk about cutting recess time to have more class time. UGH here comes more over weight kids.;...

The only extra there is, is if a teacher steps up and volunteers their time, which I hardly see any more either...
That's the problem.
The school can't do anything without a diagnosis from a medical professional and if the parents are in denial, then there will not be a diagnosis. Sad really, because these children can do so much better if they get services early.
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Tags:kindergarten, milestones
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