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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Had to Send DCK Home Today
aDCProvider 10:54 AM 02-28-2013
Anyone else ever have to do this? I have a policy regarding discipline that if your child can not control themselves, they will be sent home at my discretion. I've never had to use it before today.
I had a DCG whose parents just notified me they're taking her out of daycare. This would be her 2nd to last week and I didn't see her last week. Morning starts with DCM walking saying DCG doesn't want to be here, I asked a few questions and DCG yells at me "NO" every time. So DCM joins our activity for 10 min to settle her down. Once mom leaves, DCG loses it, after one hour of full blown screaming, I called DCM and told her to come back and get her. DCM seems to be blaming me for resetting the screams because I had checked on her every few minutes and when I would she would start screaming louder. I'm sorry but legally I'm not leaving a 2 year old alone screaming in another room(she refused to come to the main DC area) for more than a couple minutes at a time. DCM shows up over an hour later to pick her up (screaming continued). She seemed quite peeved at the situation, but I couldn't keep her like that, not when I had to leave my other DCK every other minute to go to another room to check on this child.
What do you think? Should I have sent her home or not? The way DCM acted it seemed she thought I was wrong, and even asked me if I REALLY tried to calm her.
yeah I really did try to calm her, spent over 2 hours doing it!
I had a DCG whose parents just notified me they're taking her out of daycare. This would be her 2nd to last week and I didn't see her last week. Morning starts with DCM walking saying DCG doesn't want to be here, I asked a few questions and DCG yells at me "NO" every time. So DCM joins our activity for 10 min to settle her down. Once mom leaves, DCG loses it, after one hour of full blown screaming, I called DCM and told her to come back and get her. DCM seems to be blaming me for resetting the screams because I had checked on her every few minutes and when I would she would start screaming louder. I'm sorry but legally I'm not leaving a 2 year old alone screaming in another room(she refused to come to the main DC area) for more than a couple minutes at a time. DCM shows up over an hour later to pick her up (screaming continued). She seemed quite peeved at the situation, but I couldn't keep her like that, not when I had to leave my other DCK every other minute to go to another room to check on this child.
What do you think? Should I have sent her home or not? The way DCM acted it seemed she thought I was wrong, and even asked me if I REALLY tried to calm her.
yeah I really did try to calm her, spent over 2 hours doing it!
butterfly 11:02 AM 02-28-2013
I've sent a child home due to the endless scream cry. When I called the parent, I told them that I was concerned that something was wrong with the child - as in illness. I then told them about the various attempts to get the child involved in our activities, etc. Fortunately, this child typically isn't like this so the parents seemed to appreciate the call and my concern for their child. They understood the safety concern this caused if I were to have this child crying like this all day (both to their child and the others).
I absolutely think you did the right thing. Sorry the mom is difficult to deal with. Atleast the end is in sight, right?!
I absolutely think you did the right thing. Sorry the mom is difficult to deal with. Atleast the end is in sight, right?!
MissAnn 11:03 AM 02-28-2013
I have no advice for you but am sure interested in how it all thorns out!
CedarCreek 11:14 AM 02-28-2013
Seems like Mom has been saying some things in front of dcg that she is picking up on. If she came in saying that she didn't want to be there maybe you should have turned her around at the door. Just her saying that in front of the child makes it clear that she has no concern for how the child sees you.
aDCProvider 11:24 AM 02-28-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
Seems like Mom has been saying some things in front of dcg that she is picking up on. If she came in saying that she didn't want to be there maybe you should have turned her around at the door. Just her saying that in front of the child makes it clear that she has no concern for how the child sees you.
You caught that too? As soon as she said it, I was like "wow" (in my head of course). Then the second she walked out the door, I knew that statement is what started the issue. Seems like Mom has been saying some things in front of dcg that she is picking up on. If she came in saying that she didn't want to be there maybe you should have turned her around at the door. Just her saying that in front of the child makes it clear that she has no concern for how the child sees you.
I felt bad sending her home and even mentioned that to DCM. Next week is her last week and I want things to end on good terms, but if this happens again next week, I'll send her home again. But she was upsetting the other kids and screaming at them and taking almost all my time away from them.
cheerfuldom 11:38 AM 02-28-2013
just to be clear....things are very very likely to NOT going to end on good terms. it is better if you face that reality and be able to accept it. that doesnt mean that you did anything wrong though.
it really doesnt matter if you should or should not have sent her home (but i think you did the right thing!) because whats done is done. you did the best you could at the time. if dcm doesnt believe, that doesnt mean you are lying. if she wants to get nasty the last two weeks, so be it....thats her mistake to make. you have to remember that a relationship takes two people and both people have to want to make it work. she has already given notice as well as indicators that she is throwing adult tantrums. letting her kid cry at your house for an hour to get back at you....dont fool yourself, she knew exactly what she was doing. plus questioning that you even tried to comfort her daughter....as if you are purposefully make a child cry. she is being passive aggressive and attacking your very character.
just hang in there for the last two weeks. dont let her bait you into a confrontation. just do your job the best you can and get them out the door. if things end on bad terms, then you know in your heart that that was moms choice, not yours.
it really doesnt matter if you should or should not have sent her home (but i think you did the right thing!) because whats done is done. you did the best you could at the time. if dcm doesnt believe, that doesnt mean you are lying. if she wants to get nasty the last two weeks, so be it....thats her mistake to make. you have to remember that a relationship takes two people and both people have to want to make it work. she has already given notice as well as indicators that she is throwing adult tantrums. letting her kid cry at your house for an hour to get back at you....dont fool yourself, she knew exactly what she was doing. plus questioning that you even tried to comfort her daughter....as if you are purposefully make a child cry. she is being passive aggressive and attacking your very character.
just hang in there for the last two weeks. dont let her bait you into a confrontation. just do your job the best you can and get them out the door. if things end on bad terms, then you know in your heart that that was moms choice, not yours.
cheerfuldom 11:42 AM 02-28-2013
also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
wdmmom 12:58 PM 02-28-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
BINGO!!!
MarinaVanessa 01:39 PM 02-28-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
Exactly what I would have said also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
KnoxMom 01:45 PM 02-28-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
EXACTLY! also, if she tries the "little girl doesnt want to be here, little girl is sad to be here, etc." then just agree with her.
"you are right DCM. you know your daughter better than anyone else. if you think she is too upset to be here, you should take her home. i know you wouldnt want her to be somewhere if she is truly that unhappy. I will trust your judgment on this one and let you two head home. we will try again tomorrow. bye"
that way either she takes kiddo home (and you get paid anyway) or she tries to remedy the situation (basically admitting she was wrong) and girl stays with you. either way, i can guarantee she wont try that rude little comment again.
countrymom 02:24 PM 02-28-2013
ya I agree with above. It will be interesting to see what will happen then. Why are they leaving like for real, there has to be a reason.