I have no sympathy for kids who cry for no reason, especially older ones (4-5yr olds). You don't want to nap? That's fine, go lay on your cot and stay awake, but don't cry about it. They took your toy? That's fine, I'll have them give it back and apologize, but don't cry about it. You don't want to do what we're doing? That's fine, go sit by yourself while we have fun, BUT DON'T CRY ABOUT IT!

Am I too harsh? I guess I see 3 reasons for a kid to cry: you got really hurt (not just someone poked you or whatever), you feel sick (my 3yr old cries when she's sick and doesn't know what's going on), or you're sad about something worth being sad about (someone died, lost a pet, etc).

I just hate when a kid's loud and unnecessary crying disturbs all the other children. Plus it gives me a headache!

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I say something very similar.
"I don't do that kind of crying. Is it ok to cry if you are hurt or sick? Yes. Is it Ok to cry if your feelings are hurt? Yes. Is it ok to cry if you don't get what you want? No. Is it ok to cry because you were told "no"? No. Do I ever give anybody what they want, just because they are crying? No, I do not. I don't do that kind of crying. I will talk to you about anything that is bothering you, when you are done crying."

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I can't stand it. I don't allow my own kids to do it either.
I say to my daughters "if you're crying there better be blood"

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I agree... One of the reasons I don't really offer care for older kids. I have up to 5 on my ads and such, but prefer 3 and under.

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I have a 3 yo dcg who screams like someone cut off her arm, over pretty much anything at all. We were lining up yesterday to come in the house and she was the only one still lingering in the sandbox. I called to her and told her to come on, we are going in the house. She ignored me. So I yelled 1!, Still stirring mud. 2!! I then told her if I say 3 she gets no video. That is the one thing that works with her. She lingered another second too long, I said 3!!! no video. She comes whipping out of the sandbox screaming her head off. Crying so I'm sure the whole neighborhood and beyond heard her. Tough luck lil girl, maybe next time you'll listen better.
Major drama queen and tester.

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I can understand that. I am less annoyed if I feel that I understand the reason. I won't tolerate crying to manipulate me, but if the crying is because Dad is out of town for 2 weeks on business (kids miss him), because of recent illness, big life change, I can work with that stuff. Crying because they don't want to nap doesn't fly here. They're trying to get out of nap. I'll remove them to a place where they can't bother the other kids, and crying miraculously stops.

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4 is a VERY emotional age. They really are heartbroken over the smallest things. It's annoying as all get out, but developmentally appropriate. I encourage them to take deep breaths but otherwise I just ignore it. I don't tell them not to cry. I just don't give special treatment or attention to it if it's just an emotional outburst. They outgrow it in time.

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Crying works on most parents. Kid cries, they come running. I'd cry over everything too if my mommy & daddy gave me all of their attention whenever I did it.

I do realize there are ages & stages where it's developmentally appropriate, I get that. But the cry/my life is over drama because someone took your toy is ridiculous.

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I'm finding our new dck's have this mastered. 3.5 yr old dcg throws a hysterical fit at nap time. I reinforce you don't have to sleep but, you have to rest. Please do not scream and wake the other kids. I will be very sad if you do. Her sister who is 6 cried for the first hour yesterday after drop off. I sat her down and said she cry here but, not in the playroom. All the kids looked at her like she was nuts. She is very dramatic and generally a crabby whiney kid. Arg!

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Yes. Sometimes parents forget to let their kids grow up.

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I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. This DCB that I'm having problems with cries and says, "I dont want to _____" and I guess assumes that since he doesn't want to _____ then he doesn't have to. Well sorry, when you get into Kindergarten your teacher can't have 20+ kids doing 20+ different things bc they don't want to do what she wants!

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Thanks for the reminder to be more understanding! My DD is 4, and DCG is 4.5. They've been going through the emotional, everything hurts my feelings phase for awhile. :/ my DD is very sensitive, too, and DCG plays off of it sometimes with "I'm not going to be your friend anymore." And "I don't want to play with you." comments. It's a tough age, for sure!

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I also cannot handle crying. My own daughter is terrible with this. She's 2, the only girl I have (I have 3 sons that are older and 1 older step-son), and beyond emotional. I look at her wrong and she breaks into hysterics. I do not feed into it and it still happens. We are to the point now when she starts crying (for things that do not need to be cried about...) she immediately walks up to her room to finish crying and then comes down to tell me she's done crying and we handle the issue that caused her to start crying in the first place.

I handle my DCK's similarly. I have them sit in a quiet place until they are calm. When they are done crying, they have the freedom to come to me and tell me so and we go on and deal with whatever happened. I've only had to do this with a couple kids, one being a DCB who was 4 and threw the most awful screaming and crying fits I've ever witnessed, but when he realized Miss Taylor doesn't respond to those very well, they ceased quickly.

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I have a dcg who is very emotional and I just ignore it unless it is something that truly needs my attention (like an ouchie). The thing that bugs me is when she is dropped off and dcg starts throwing a tantrum and crying as a form of separation anxiety and dcm tells her "awww, well it looks like Spud is going to have to give you extra cuddles today." Ummm, no I don't smother kids when they are dealing with drop-offs. The more I ignore it the quicker they pick themselves up and start playing like normal.

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I love this topic!
No offense to anybody, but all I can do is laugh!
Suppose if your exposed to anything long enough, it losses the effect.
I don't think that necessarily makes us mean, or numb to the crying, just experienced on where to be concerned, or aged like fine wine or cheese!

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I always thought I was the only one who ignored unnecessary crying. I have 2 DCKs that do this. One of them will fall out if they don't want to go outside. I tell them that they can stop because it's not going to change anything and walk away. They usually stop after about 2 min. The other one will cry if the wind changes. For example, yesterday while making sand castles with another DCK, this DCK had a meltdown. When I asked why was she crying, she said that she didn't want other DCK to use the pink bucket. I just said "I'm sorry and walked off". She stopped after a few minutes. One of the first things I tell new kids to my class is "Crying gets you nothing".

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I do not handle the crying/whining thing. In fact I have a dcg that was so bad when I got her, when the state showed up for an inspection they were like whoa is this all day( even if I held her rocked her) they gave me permission to put her in a playpen in a seperate room cause she cried the entire time ahhhhhhh. They def don't get what they want when they act like this!!! Dcg is way better now but still has moments

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DCKs who cry at drop off/pick up crack me up. They know it works on parents & not with us. I say, "Go sit over there & cry it our. When your down come back & play." Not sure why this is so hard for parents to do.

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Lolololol....

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I must be harsh too! I have a 6 yr old dcb that crys all the time, everyday for every reason. I don't even entertain it, just send him to the other room by himself and have him come back when he is done. It usually doesn't last long. He is very "babified" at home so I understand where it comes from.

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It rips my heart out to hear my own child crying, but I have no problem letting DCKs CIO. I have noticed something funny over the years regarding drop off/pick up times. When a dck cries at drop off, he's fine before mom gets out of the driveway and is fine all day. Until mom comes back for pick up and he starts crying all over again, like, look at me crying! I've been doing this all day!! And I'm like, no. No you have not.

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It's hard for parents because:

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