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catinthebox 10:46 PM 05-08-2019
Today, when i was waiting with one of my students to talk to her dad. Back story, for my after school program we have a behavior chart where students can move up or down base on their behaviors.

This little girl got all the way down to the bottom. We were waiting, and she told me that her dad was going to hit her because i was going talk to him. She started telling me that she is scared to be around him when she gets in trouble. I went to my boss and asked him if i should still talk to him. He told me that i should tell him and i dont remember the exact words he said but he did mention that there was a fine line between abuse and not.

I left early today so i didnt get the chance to talk to her dad but my boss did. So, I was wondering did we do the right thing or could there been something else we could have done? I know just because she said so, does mean what she saying is true... I know that we must have to suspicion whatever its mental, physical and etc. But besides seeing any evidences of it, wouldn't the fact that she is supposedly or is telling the truth that her dad is hitting her be a caution sign for reporting? I care for the child so I want make sure i am doing everything right.
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Michael 01:14 AM 05-09-2019
That's a tough one. I think that it was good that your boss spoke with him.
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boy_mom 04:29 AM 05-09-2019
If you think there abuse, never hesitate to report it!
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Cat Herder 05:37 AM 05-09-2019
What age?

Does your center provide resources on appropriate discipline practices, child development and parenting styles?

Parents tend to parent as they were parented. If Dad was spanked, as is very common, then spanking is to be expected. He may believe that is what you are asking him to do when you give him a bad report.

Maybe with resources he would better better understand what your goal is when reporting bad behavior.

Maybe bad reports should stop and all behaviors that take place in the classroom should be handled in the classroom.

Maybe a combination of both discipline models will solve that problem for all the families in care.
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Mom2Two 12:07 PM 05-10-2019
Originally Posted by catinthebox:
Today, when i was waiting with one of my students to talk to her dad. Back story, for my after school program we have a behavior chart where students can move up or down base on their behaviors.

This little girl got all the way down to the bottom. We were waiting, and she told me that her dad was going to hit her because i was going talk to him.

She started telling me that she is scared to be around him when she gets in trouble. I went to my boss and asked him if i should still talk to him. He told me that i should tell him and i dont remember the exact words he said but he did mention that there was a fine line between abuse and not.

I left early today so i didnt get the chance to talk to her dad but my boss did. So, I was wondering did we do the right thing or could there been something else we could have done? I know just because she said so, does mean what she saying is true... I know that we must have to suspicion whatever its mental, physical and etc. But besides seeing any evidences of it, wouldn't the fact that she is supposedly or is telling the truth that her dad is hitting her be a caution sign for reporting? I care for the child so I want make sure i am doing everything right.

I think I would have inquired a bit more into what the hitting was like. If she's in trouble enough to be at the bottom of your chart, I would wonder what's happening at home. How do parents respond to it? She's got to be acting up there too.
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catinthebox 11:54 PM 05-10-2019
(Update!) My boss had a brain fart and told me wrong that the dad had picked her up, it was her step mom. No idea, if dad was talk to by the step mom but her behavior has slightly improve i would say.

Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
I think I would have inquired a bit more into what the hitting was like. If she's in trouble enough to be at the bottom of your chart, I would wonder what's happening at home. How do parents respond to it? She's got to be acting up there too.
I did ask her about what kind of hitting and she stopped talking about it and went silent. I kind of knew that she would have responded that way. Depending on what type of parents, some would tell their children that if they tell things would happen to them or their families would be ruin because of them and other stuff.

For my place, the last step on the good/bad behavior chart is a write up. If we are going by the books then she should have gotten a write up but i gave her a reflection. A reflection is where they write out what they did wrong, what they could have done right and what should they do next time. Their parents will have to sign off and acknowledge that they were talked to. I have no idea how she acts at home but I do know that alot of the stuff she does over here won't fly at home with dad. The dad is a really respectful type of person and the few times that he would asked if his daughter had any issues. Each time, I found the fun and joyful vibe switched over to the " I dont play" vibe. She told me that she wouldn't dare act like that if her dad is around.

[quote=Cat Herder;702272]What age? The girl is 8 years old, and for alot of these things she knows that she shouldn't be doing these types of actions. Good amount of the issues i had ahve with her is the same for her real teacher.


Does your center provide resources on appropriate discipline practices, child development and parenting styles?

Not for our afterschool program. But one of the many reasons why parents are still hitting their children is due to it being taught and past down as being accepted. Also, parents dont like being told on how raise their kids. Lol, this one time my older brother witnessed a lady slap her child right in the forehead and then told her that she shouldn't be doing that. She then decided that it was fun to chased my brother for ten minutes and tried chasing him a few times with her kid still in the back. Also, at my place there has been a number of parents on parents crime.

So, for some of the parents i am very caution with. i know i can get in trouble for this but i had a small taser with me in my pockets at all time. Just in case something happens, because i know that my boss and coworkers won't come to my aid... Our assistance director once watch two kids fighting each other for like a minute. They stopped fighting because two parents threatening to call the cops. This assistance director not only just watch two kids fight, he then had the nerves to tell a few of the kids that he couldn't stopped them because he could have gootten sue. In his own words" I am looking out for my self". I told it straight to his face that it was his job to protect and stop the kids from fighting but no punishment or training was given to this assistance director. I am sorry but i am gonna choose myself over them if i am being attack.
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Tags:age appropriate - curriculum, behavior chart, behavior plan, classroom management, discipline, mandated reporter, parenting goals, parenting styles
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