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Unregistered 08:25 AM 01-12-2016
I started taking care of a 10 month old girl about 2 months ago. She constantly wants to be held! She screams and cries and throws fits all day long unless I'm holding her (snot running down the face, throwing herself on the ground...the whole nine...). She will not leave my side, constantly following me around while screaming her head off. She will not go in an excersaucer, jumper, nothing. I'm at a loss for what to do. I will not hold a child all day long, I can't...and it's not fair to the other kids in my care to have to listen to a screaming baby all day. Does anyone have any advice on how to curb this behavior? What I've been doing is telling her "No throwing fits" then I place her away from myself and the other children (obviously where I can still see her). She will crawl back over to me screaming, and I repeat the same process until she usually tires herself out and gives up. This is all day...every day...HELP!
Controlled Chaos 08:35 AM 01-12-2016
Have you talked to parents? Does she do this at home?
Unregistered 08:39 AM 01-12-2016
I have talked to them about it. It seems like she does do it at home, but mom will hold her.
Unregistered 08:42 AM 01-12-2016
Don't get me wrong, when she's not freaking out, she's the sweetest kid and her mom is my favorite DCM...really awesome people. Im not thinking about terming...just trying to save all of our sanity! Lol
Unregistered 08:52 AM 01-12-2016
She is a baby of course she is going to do this. She has no clue what you are saying when you are telling her no fits. She wants comforting not rejection. Try placing her nearby you on the floor with a toy. When she tries to climb up on you of place her kindly on the floor and try engaging her with the toy. Pat her and calmly tell her its ok.
Play Care 08:57 AM 01-12-2016
When I have 10 month olds, it's a lot of floor time - me included and I do spend a lot of time cuddling/holding baby while supervising the other children. I don't take infants often, but it's always something I have to re-learn when I do
When I do have to do something, baby goes "up" while I do what I need to (when I'm making lunch baby is in high chair with soft toys "helping" or baby goes in a PNP/play yard while I use the bathroom, etc) I am always chatting with baby and encouraging other kids to do so as well. So if baby is crying because I'm changing another child's diaper, the child I'm changing and baby would be getting a running soothing, empathetic commentary like "Sally is trying to tell us she misses us! Let's tell Sally, "Sally we are right here! We see you!" Now lets wave to Sally, give her a nice wave and say Hi! Tell her we will be right with her!" etc. etc. etc.
Now, she's not going to understand or stop
, but it gives me a better focus. And eventually, sooner than we think, she *will* understand and you will be able to use your voice to soothe and reassure. I also think it instills empathy in my other kiddos as I include them when possible.
Good Luck!
When I do have to do something, baby goes "up" while I do what I need to (when I'm making lunch baby is in high chair with soft toys "helping" or baby goes in a PNP/play yard while I use the bathroom, etc) I am always chatting with baby and encouraging other kids to do so as well. So if baby is crying because I'm changing another child's diaper, the child I'm changing and baby would be getting a running soothing, empathetic commentary like "Sally is trying to tell us she misses us! Let's tell Sally, "Sally we are right here! We see you!" Now lets wave to Sally, give her a nice wave and say Hi! Tell her we will be right with her!" etc. etc. etc.
Now, she's not going to understand or stop
, but it gives me a better focus. And eventually, sooner than we think, she *will* understand and you will be able to use your voice to soothe and reassure. I also think it instills empathy in my other kiddos as I include them when possible. Good Luck!
childcaremom 09:00 AM 01-12-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Try placing her nearby you on the floor with a toy. When she tries to climb up on you of place her kindly on the floor and try engaging her with the toy. Pat her and calmly tell her its ok.
This is what I am doing with my new dck. She, too, wants to be held. She is very new (2nd week) and a bit older, though. Sounds like she just needs reassurance. Takes a bit of patience but once they are comfortable being near you, then they will feel more at ease to go off and explore on their own. I encourage her to sit beside me and get some toys for her to play with near me.Try placing her nearby you on the floor with a toy. When she tries to climb up on you of place her kindly on the floor and try engaging her with the toy. Pat her and calmly tell her its ok.
When I get up to move around, I do a lot of reassuring and talking to her. "I'm going to help Susie get the doll." "I'm going over to get some blocks." Etc etc. My dck is getting better bit by bit.
MunchkinWrangler 11:53 AM 01-12-2016
The best you can do is keep verbally reassuring, I always say "You're fine, nothing is wrong." Work on object permanence, peek a boo, covering a toy with a blanket, set it in another room and search for it. Peek your head out if you go into another room. The more you pick up, the more you're going to reward the behavior. In my experience, with consistency, it can take up to 2 weeks depending on the child and let mom know you're working on that. It's also insecurity in a new environment probably mixed with a little social anxiety, my son was like that, and always looked to adults since thats what he was used to.
Nisaryn 10:11 PM 01-12-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
When I have 10 month olds, it's a lot of floor time - me included and I do spend a lot of time cuddling/holding baby while supervising the other children. I don't take infants often, but it's always something I have to re-learn when I do
When I do have to do something, baby goes "up" while I do what I need to (when I'm making lunch baby is in high chair with soft toys "helping" or baby goes in a PNP/play yard while I use the bathroom, etc) I am always chatting with baby and encouraging other kids to do so as well. So if baby is crying because I'm changing another child's diaper, the child I'm changing and baby would be getting a running soothing, empathetic commentary like "Sally is trying to tell us she misses us! Let's tell Sally, "Sally we are right here! We see you!" Now lets wave to Sally, give her a nice wave and say Hi! Tell her we will be right with her!" etc. etc. etc.
Now, she's not going to understand or stop, but it gives me a better focus. And eventually, sooner than we think, she *will* understand and you will be able to use your voice to soothe and reassure. I also think it instills empathy in my other kiddos as I include them when possible.
Good Luck!
^^^THIS!!!! Since I work with infants only (all under 1 right now) I find myself having to do this a LOT. I am on the floor 90% of the time....the other 10% is diapering, cleaning, feeding, cleaning some more, bathroom time...etc. you get the idea. When I have 10 month olds, it's a lot of floor time - me included and I do spend a lot of time cuddling/holding baby while supervising the other children. I don't take infants often, but it's always something I have to re-learn when I do
When I do have to do something, baby goes "up" while I do what I need to (when I'm making lunch baby is in high chair with soft toys "helping" or baby goes in a PNP/play yard while I use the bathroom, etc) I am always chatting with baby and encouraging other kids to do so as well. So if baby is crying because I'm changing another child's diaper, the child I'm changing and baby would be getting a running soothing, empathetic commentary like "Sally is trying to tell us she misses us! Let's tell Sally, "Sally we are right here! We see you!" Now lets wave to Sally, give her a nice wave and say Hi! Tell her we will be right with her!" etc. etc. etc.
Now, she's not going to understand or stop
, but it gives me a better focus. And eventually, sooner than we think, she *will* understand and you will be able to use your voice to soothe and reassure. I also think it instills empathy in my other kiddos as I include them when possible. Good Luck!
Play Care 05:42 AM 01-13-2016
Originally Posted by Nisaryn:
^^^THIS!!!! Since I work with infants only (all under 1 right now) I find myself having to do this a LOT. I am on the floor 90% of the time....the other 10% is diapering, cleaning, feeding, cleaning some more, bathroom time...etc. you get the idea.
I will say, caring for other infants is soooo much easier since my own kids are NOT in my day care. I often felt especially torn when it was my own kids who had to wait. Looking back, I wish I would have been more nonchalant and frankly, chill about it. I think the kids often pick up your vibes and if you're feeling overwhelmed or resentful or annoyed with a child, then they take that up. ^^^THIS!!!! Since I work with infants only (all under 1 right now) I find myself having to do this a LOT. I am on the floor 90% of the time....the other 10% is diapering, cleaning, feeding, cleaning some more, bathroom time...etc. you get the idea.
There are times infants can be too much - they refuse to take bottles, perhaps have reflux or some other medical condition which cases all day crying/screaming, etc. won't nap or are able to be nap trained, etc. and I acknowledge that. But often infants are being "demanding" because that's biologically what they are designed to do.