Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCM Boundaries
Unregistered 08:27 AM 03-29-2021
I have this DCM who just constantly rubs me the wrong way. It's not even anything that bad, it's just that every interaction with her always leaves me going "Wait... What??"
One big thing is that she seems weirdly obsessed with being in my house. We use the back door for daycare and you get to the playroom right from that entrance. There is no need for anyone (parent or child) to go into the rest of the house. It is a completely separate section of the house and closed off from the rest by lockable doors. This Mom insisted on showing up at my front door even after numerous reminders to use the back door. You have to walk through the entire house to get to the playroom coming in that way. After the first two times I started answering the front door with my shoes on and walking her back outside and around to the back door. Both times we walked through the house, she put her child down and attempted to follow behind them when they ran off the main hall and tried to go running around my living and dining rooms. She carries the child everywhere every other time. I don't even understand what the issue could be as the back door is at the end of the driveway, just a couple feet from where she parks her car to do drop off. She literally was parking, then carrying the kid and all their stuff all the way around the side of the house and up the big front porch and then walking through my entire house, dropping off, then trying to get me to let her walk through my house again to leave. She actually tried to "argue" when I told her to leave through the back door and she paused, sighed, then gave in when I explained that she couldn't walk through my whole main floor again, alone, because she wouldn't be able to lock the front door behind her.
Even during our first interview, when she was leaving she stopped to look in the closet beside the playroom (it was locked and she unlocked it) and when she came to drop off the paperwork she asked to use the washroom. She lives less than 5 minutes away but ok... So I walked her to the bathroom and returned to the playroom and was waiting with all her paperwork to bring home. She seemed to be taking a while so when I went to check on her, I found her and her child sitting on my couch, reading a book from my own child's (non-daycare) stash of toys! She at least looked a little sheepish and said her child ran off so she went to get them and that this was their favourite book. (I took the book and said that the rest of the house wasn't child-proofed so we don't bring the children on this side).
But 6 months in, it's still happening. She's showed up to the front door a few more times and I've ignored the knocking and just told her come to the back when she's called/texted for me to open the door. There was one time when the child was having a meltdown at drop off and I said come, we'll wave at mommy through the window. This one was strange because the mom went from looking sad that her child was having a tough time to just absolutely beaming and was like "Ya! Wave in the window!" but when I carried the child to the window, the mom visibly hunched down looking disappointed and was like "Oh, not the living room window?". Like... What? That's at the front of the house and part of my PERSONAL SPACE.
She also asked that I let the child lay on my couch and watch TV one day when they were having (another) bad day. I don't really do screen time but they were the only one there that day. I said I had a little tv I could bring into the playroom and mom was like "Oh, uh well. She likes the big screen. And the couch will make her feel more at home." I reminded her that we don't use my personal home space during daycare hours and again, she visibly hunched down and looked disappointed.
Then, the other day we were playing outside when Mom showed up. She came to the fence and said she was going to get her kid's stuff and she'd be right back. After way too long, I grabbed the kids and we were just getting inside when the mom was coming through my side door. She said that she was just watching her kid through the kitchen windows. Just, why???? You could see them from the cubby area windows or even just come outside to see them. Why go through my house?!
She's also repeatedly asked that her child sleep in a separate room for naptime, away from everyone else. We don't have any naptime issues but she says they have trouble sleeping at home because of the other kids being there at naptime...? Every time I offer to set up their bed in the entrance/mudroom as it's separated by a door and I could just put up curtains in the window. Every time she suggests I use one of the bedrooms in the house, instead. And every time I decline and explain that I need to be able to supervise everyone and I can't have one kid alone on another floor on the other side of my pretty large house. So she says nevermind, it's fine. Until the next time she asks.
She also tried suggesting that I allow her 18 month old to eat at my dining room table as they're trying to get the child used to that at home. I double checked because I thought she had said the child still used a high chair at home (and ate in front of the TV) and she said yes, but they wanted to try to start eating at a table. I said awesome, because I have a toddler table that I use with the kids her age and the little chairs are perfect for table practice. She asked if I could put the table in the dining room and again I had to flatly say we don't use the home space during the day.
I understand that she might want to get a feel for the space her child is in during the day, but I also feel I've made it very clear that my home and my business are separate. The doors stay closed and the children are in the daycare spaces only. I just can't think of any other reason why she'd always be trying to get herself or her child into my personal spaces.
Humbly, my daycare space is great! It's all developmentally appropriate, inviting, clean and everything is in good working condition. Everyone walks in and is like "wow, this space is amazing!" so why is this one lady so obsessed with the rest of my house?!
One big thing is that she seems weirdly obsessed with being in my house. We use the back door for daycare and you get to the playroom right from that entrance. There is no need for anyone (parent or child) to go into the rest of the house. It is a completely separate section of the house and closed off from the rest by lockable doors. This Mom insisted on showing up at my front door even after numerous reminders to use the back door. You have to walk through the entire house to get to the playroom coming in that way. After the first two times I started answering the front door with my shoes on and walking her back outside and around to the back door. Both times we walked through the house, she put her child down and attempted to follow behind them when they ran off the main hall and tried to go running around my living and dining rooms. She carries the child everywhere every other time. I don't even understand what the issue could be as the back door is at the end of the driveway, just a couple feet from where she parks her car to do drop off. She literally was parking, then carrying the kid and all their stuff all the way around the side of the house and up the big front porch and then walking through my entire house, dropping off, then trying to get me to let her walk through my house again to leave. She actually tried to "argue" when I told her to leave through the back door and she paused, sighed, then gave in when I explained that she couldn't walk through my whole main floor again, alone, because she wouldn't be able to lock the front door behind her.
Even during our first interview, when she was leaving she stopped to look in the closet beside the playroom (it was locked and she unlocked it) and when she came to drop off the paperwork she asked to use the washroom. She lives less than 5 minutes away but ok... So I walked her to the bathroom and returned to the playroom and was waiting with all her paperwork to bring home. She seemed to be taking a while so when I went to check on her, I found her and her child sitting on my couch, reading a book from my own child's (non-daycare) stash of toys! She at least looked a little sheepish and said her child ran off so she went to get them and that this was their favourite book. (I took the book and said that the rest of the house wasn't child-proofed so we don't bring the children on this side).
But 6 months in, it's still happening. She's showed up to the front door a few more times and I've ignored the knocking and just told her come to the back when she's called/texted for me to open the door. There was one time when the child was having a meltdown at drop off and I said come, we'll wave at mommy through the window. This one was strange because the mom went from looking sad that her child was having a tough time to just absolutely beaming and was like "Ya! Wave in the window!" but when I carried the child to the window, the mom visibly hunched down looking disappointed and was like "Oh, not the living room window?". Like... What? That's at the front of the house and part of my PERSONAL SPACE.
She also asked that I let the child lay on my couch and watch TV one day when they were having (another) bad day. I don't really do screen time but they were the only one there that day. I said I had a little tv I could bring into the playroom and mom was like "Oh, uh well. She likes the big screen. And the couch will make her feel more at home." I reminded her that we don't use my personal home space during daycare hours and again, she visibly hunched down and looked disappointed.
Then, the other day we were playing outside when Mom showed up. She came to the fence and said she was going to get her kid's stuff and she'd be right back. After way too long, I grabbed the kids and we were just getting inside when the mom was coming through my side door. She said that she was just watching her kid through the kitchen windows. Just, why???? You could see them from the cubby area windows or even just come outside to see them. Why go through my house?!
She's also repeatedly asked that her child sleep in a separate room for naptime, away from everyone else. We don't have any naptime issues but she says they have trouble sleeping at home because of the other kids being there at naptime...? Every time I offer to set up their bed in the entrance/mudroom as it's separated by a door and I could just put up curtains in the window. Every time she suggests I use one of the bedrooms in the house, instead. And every time I decline and explain that I need to be able to supervise everyone and I can't have one kid alone on another floor on the other side of my pretty large house. So she says nevermind, it's fine. Until the next time she asks.
She also tried suggesting that I allow her 18 month old to eat at my dining room table as they're trying to get the child used to that at home. I double checked because I thought she had said the child still used a high chair at home (and ate in front of the TV) and she said yes, but they wanted to try to start eating at a table. I said awesome, because I have a toddler table that I use with the kids her age and the little chairs are perfect for table practice. She asked if I could put the table in the dining room and again I had to flatly say we don't use the home space during the day.
I understand that she might want to get a feel for the space her child is in during the day, but I also feel I've made it very clear that my home and my business are separate. The doors stay closed and the children are in the daycare spaces only. I just can't think of any other reason why she'd always be trying to get herself or her child into my personal spaces.
Humbly, my daycare space is great! It's all developmentally appropriate, inviting, clean and everything is in good working condition. Everyone walks in and is like "wow, this space is amazing!" so why is this one lady so obsessed with the rest of my house?!
Unregistered 09:03 AM 03-29-2021
If I were you, I would write a letter to all parents and explain the rules and state that you've had a few instances of people not following the rules and I would tell them that it's against minimum standards to allow anyone into other spaces not occupied by the daycare because of them not being made safe for the children
Gemma 09:09 AM 03-29-2021
I know that the first reaction in this case would be to think of Dcm as very disrespectful towards you, and your private space, but actually, she might not even realize that she is crossing the line.
You need to lay it out straight, and now " Dcm, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but parents and children, are only allowed to be on daycare grounds that's been approved by Licensing.
(unlocking a closet? seriously?
)
You need to lay it out straight, and now " Dcm, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but parents and children, are only allowed to be on daycare grounds that's been approved by Licensing.
(unlocking a closet? seriously?
)
Cat Herder 09:13 AM 03-29-2021
Because.... you told her no.
Drama Mama's love oppositional circular arguments. Feeds their need for conflict so well.... yummy, yummy.
The more you discuss it, the more she likes it. Use as few words as possible, be repetitive.
Drama Mama's love oppositional circular arguments. Feeds their need for conflict so well.... yummy, yummy.
The more you discuss it, the more she likes it. Use as few words as possible, be repetitive.
rosieteddy 11:50 AM 03-29-2021
I would do the letter for everyone.On hers I would call her out.Seems like she is not getting it.Next time just say something like"sorry ,that doesn't work here".Then just stare at her.Try not to engage. If she continues trying to go through house I would term.
Unregistered 12:36 PM 03-29-2021
Hmmmm........Since a year ago I have not let parents come any further than my front porch to drop off or pick up their kids. I know, if you haven't been doing a "contactless" pick up and drop off previously, it might seem weird to start it now but it's a good idea since we're not done with this virus yet. Just an idea.......
Unregistered 01:00 PM 03-29-2021
Also, I find her behavior weird..
Blackcat31 01:06 PM 03-29-2021
Personally I’ve found the only way to eliminate issues with parents like this is straight up telling her not to do x or y or risk termination.
What’s she’s doing is rude and disrespectful
She is telling you via her actions that she will do as she pleases in your house and she is.
TELL her she must stop and stop now or you will term on the spot.
I would term, as a parent that disregards simple manners isn’t a client I care to work with at all.
What’s she’s doing is rude and disrespectful
She is telling you via her actions that she will do as she pleases in your house and she is.
TELL her she must stop and stop now or you will term on the spot.
I would term, as a parent that disregards simple manners isn’t a client I care to work with at all.
Annalee 03:44 PM 03-29-2021
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Because.... you told her no.
Drama Mama's love oppositional circular arguments. Feeds their need for conflict so well.... yummy, yummy.
The more you discuss it, the more she likes it. Use as few words as possible, be repetitive.
TRUE THIS! Since I have had my sign in/out outside, there are two moms that are constantly trying to get a foot in the door.....I just politely/firmly step out so that can't happen. It is a 'control' thing. No one, including me sometimes, likes to be told what to doBecause.... you told her no.
Drama Mama's love oppositional circular arguments. Feeds their need for conflict so well.... yummy, yummy.
The more you discuss it, the more she likes it. Use as few words as possible, be repetitive.
Rockgirl 03:45 PM 03-29-2021
I’d be leaning toward terming, too! If you don’t want to term, you could completely ignore her at the front door....even hang a sign on it, stating, “Daycare families, use back door”. Is there a door separating your daycare space from the rest of the house?
racemom 05:56 PM 03-29-2021
I would tell her directly "since you are unable to follow my rules, all drop offs and pick ups must be done outside. Please text me upon arrival and I will meet you at the daycare room door." If she shows up and tries to come in, remind her and let her know you will terminate for disrespect.
Snowmom 07:03 PM 03-29-2021
Beyond what's already been said (which is all great), I definitely would not let her alone in your house again.
It's a liability, simply a risk. Too many variables on what could happen. Plus, if you are licensed, that space is likely unlicensed and you won't be covered under your business liability insurance.
But yes, she needs an ultimatum and she needs it honestly- no beating around the bush. She also needs it to be told to her directly.
"Sally, we need to talk about the boundaries of business and personal space. It's become very apparent that it is upsetting to you that I won't allow clients in my personal space. If you are not happy with what I offer within the ABC daycare space, I understand and will submit your notice to terminate your contract for you. There will be no hard feelings."
After that, if she asks anything that's uncomfortable again, just refer to this conversation and ask if she needs to find alternative care.
It's a liability, simply a risk. Too many variables on what could happen. Plus, if you are licensed, that space is likely unlicensed and you won't be covered under your business liability insurance.
But yes, she needs an ultimatum and she needs it honestly- no beating around the bush. She also needs it to be told to her directly.
"Sally, we need to talk about the boundaries of business and personal space. It's become very apparent that it is upsetting to you that I won't allow clients in my personal space. If you are not happy with what I offer within the ABC daycare space, I understand and will submit your notice to terminate your contract for you. There will be no hard feelings."
After that, if she asks anything that's uncomfortable again, just refer to this conversation and ask if she needs to find alternative care.
Josiegirl 03:15 AM 03-30-2021
Yep, lots of terrific advice and ideas. Just wanted to add oh boy, she sounds like fun. 
Snooping into locked closets beats all IMO.
It's definitely up to you to confront her and speak up loud and clear now, put a stop to it. I know I never handled confrontation very well and would shake in my boots just thinking about it. BUT you need to reclaim your business and privacy(of your home, family and dcfs as well!) ASAP. If it's difficult for you to immediately change things from what she's been used to up till now, just tell her you've not been handling this the best up until now BUT you've been giving her actions a lot of thought and THIS is going to be how it's done from now on. Then threaten her with terming if she oversteps those boundaries that you mark off for her. It sounds more like spying and snooping, just waiting to find out something negative about you. Please do NOT be afraid of calling her on it because you will end up being miserable and not respect yourself in the end if you let this go. You can be nice as well as professional. What she's doing is oh so wrong.
Snooping into locked closets beats all IMO. It's definitely up to you to confront her and speak up loud and clear now, put a stop to it. I know I never handled confrontation very well and would shake in my boots just thinking about it. BUT you need to reclaim your business and privacy(of your home, family and dcfs as well!) ASAP. If it's difficult for you to immediately change things from what she's been used to up till now, just tell her you've not been handling this the best up until now BUT you've been giving her actions a lot of thought and THIS is going to be how it's done from now on. Then threaten her with terming if she oversteps those boundaries that you mark off for her. It sounds more like spying and snooping, just waiting to find out something negative about you. Please do NOT be afraid of calling her on it because you will end up being miserable and not respect yourself in the end if you let this go. You can be nice as well as professional. What she's doing is oh so wrong.
Josiegirl 03:18 AM 03-30-2021
One more thought, you're running a business involving group care. Don't do special because it'll become the normal for her, then all the other dcfs catch on and you'll be running yourself into a dark deep burn-out. Fastest way to burn-out is catering to dcfs.
Sunshine69 08:07 AM 03-30-2021
I should say this surprises me, but it doesn’t.
Dcm needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, drop-offs and pick-ups are to be done at your daycare entrance only. Your personal living quarters are off-limits to daycare kids and parents. Violation of this policy will result in immediate termination.
Add it to your written policy, if it isn’t already there, and have DCPs sign and date a statement that they have received and agree to your updated policy.
Dcm needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, drop-offs and pick-ups are to be done at your daycare entrance only. Your personal living quarters are off-limits to daycare kids and parents. Violation of this policy will result in immediate termination.
Add it to your written policy, if it isn’t already there, and have DCPs sign and date a statement that they have received and agree to your updated policy.
284878 11:27 AM 03-30-2021
I feel for you, this is stuff that my sister will pull and she is bi polar. She doesn't get it when I tell her that there has to be a line, she disagrees with me and tells me that there shouldn't be a line blah blah.
My advice is rinse and repeat.
If she goes to the front door continue to ignore her. Start out side pick up and drop off. (My dcp text pick up and drop off from their car and then send the older kids and bring the younger ones to my door.) Beat her to the door, work your schedule so that you can greet her at the door before she gets out of the car. (Get a drive alarm, they have good inexpensive ones at harbour freight online)
Play outside at pick up time. Have the kid packed and ready to go with there things out side with you. Lock your deadbolts when you are outside/ leave a note on the door. "We are out back playing, bags all packed." Then meet the at the gate, if you have one.
Just keep blocking her, rinse and repeat.
She like my sister just thinks of herself and how there should be no rules for her, even if there is rules for others.
My advice is rinse and repeat.
If she goes to the front door continue to ignore her. Start out side pick up and drop off. (My dcp text pick up and drop off from their car and then send the older kids and bring the younger ones to my door.) Beat her to the door, work your schedule so that you can greet her at the door before she gets out of the car. (Get a drive alarm, they have good inexpensive ones at harbour freight online)
Play outside at pick up time. Have the kid packed and ready to go with there things out side with you. Lock your deadbolts when you are outside/ leave a note on the door. "We are out back playing, bags all packed." Then meet the at the gate, if you have one.
Just keep blocking her, rinse and repeat.
She like my sister just thinks of herself and how there should be no rules for her, even if there is rules for others.
delferka 06:46 AM 03-31-2021
Some parents are so weird! Since Covid began, everything has changed in my house. Parents are allowed in my front entry with their children one family at a time with a mask. That's is far as they go. They leave their child and the next parent comes in. It keeps the morning conversations to a minimum as well. As far as all of her rules, just yes her to death and kick her out!
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have this DCM who just constantly rubs me the wrong way. It's not even anything that bad, it's just that every interaction with her always leaves me going "Wait... What??"
One big thing is that she seems weirdly obsessed with being in my house. We use the back door for daycare and you get to the playroom right from that entrance. There is no need for anyone (parent or child) to go into the rest of the house. It is a completely separate section of the house and closed off from the rest by lockable doors. This Mom insisted on showing up at my front door even after numerous reminders to use the back door. You have to walk through the entire house to get to the playroom coming in that way. After the first two times I started answering the front door with my shoes on and walking her back outside and around to the back door. Both times we walked through the house, she put her child down and attempted to follow behind them when they ran off the main hall and tried to go running around my living and dining rooms. She carries the child everywhere every other time. I don't even understand what the issue could be as the back door is at the end of the driveway, just a couple feet from where she parks her car to do drop off. She literally was parking, then carrying the kid and all their stuff all the way around the side of the house and up the big front porch and then walking through my entire house, dropping off, then trying to get me to let her walk through my house again to leave. She actually tried to "argue" when I told her to leave through the back door and she paused, sighed, then gave in when I explained that she couldn't walk through my whole main floor again, alone, because she wouldn't be able to lock the front door behind her.
Even during our first interview, when she was leaving she stopped to look in the closet beside the playroom (it was locked and she unlocked it) and when she came to drop off the paperwork she asked to use the washroom. She lives less than 5 minutes away but ok... So I walked her to the bathroom and returned to the playroom and was waiting with all her paperwork to bring home. She seemed to be taking a while so when I went to check on her, I found her and her child sitting on my couch, reading a book from my own child's (non-daycare) stash of toys! She at least looked a little sheepish and said her child ran off so she went to get them and that this was their favourite book. (I took the book and said that the rest of the house wasn't child-proofed so we don't bring the children on this side).
But 6 months in, it's still happening. She's showed up to the front door a few more times and I've ignored the knocking and just told her come to the back when she's called/texted for me to open the door. There was one time when the child was having a meltdown at drop off and I said come, we'll wave at mommy through the window. This one was strange because the mom went from looking sad that her child was having a tough time to just absolutely beaming and was like "Ya! Wave in the window!" but when I carried the child to the window, the mom visibly hunched down looking disappointed and was like "Oh, not the living room window?". Like... What? That's at the front of the house and part of my PERSONAL SPACE.
She also asked that I let the child lay on my couch and watch TV one day when they were having (another) bad day. I don't really do screen time but they were the only one there that day. I said I had a little tv I could bring into the playroom and mom was like "Oh, uh well. She likes the big screen. And the couch will make her feel more at home." I reminded her that we don't use my personal home space during daycare hours and again, she visibly hunched down and looked disappointed.
Then, the other day we were playing outside when Mom showed up. She came to the fence and said she was going to get her kid's stuff and she'd be right back. After way too long, I grabbed the kids and we were just getting inside when the mom was coming through my side door. She said that she was just watching her kid through the kitchen windows. Just, why???? You could see them from the cubby area windows or even just come outside to see them. Why go through my house?!
She's also repeatedly asked that her child sleep in a separate room for naptime, away from everyone else. We don't have any naptime issues but she says they have trouble sleeping at home because of the other kids being there at naptime...? Every time I offer to set up their bed in the entrance/mudroom as it's separated by a door and I could just put up curtains in the window. Every time she suggests I use one of the bedrooms in the house, instead. And every time I decline and explain that I need to be able to supervise everyone and I can't have one kid alone on another floor on the other side of my pretty large house. So she says nevermind, it's fine. Until the next time she asks.
She also tried suggesting that I allow her 18 month old to eat at my dining room table as they're trying to get the child used to that at home. I double checked because I thought she had said the child still used a high chair at home (and ate in front of the TV) and she said yes, but they wanted to try to start eating at a table. I said awesome, because I have a toddler table that I use with the kids her age and the little chairs are perfect for table practice. She asked if I could put the table in the dining room and again I had to flatly say we don't use the home space during the day.
I understand that she might want to get a feel for the space her child is in during the day, but I also feel I've made it very clear that my home and my business are separate. The doors stay closed and the children are in the daycare spaces only. I just can't think of any other reason why she'd always be trying to get herself or her child into my personal spaces.
Humbly, my daycare space is great! It's all developmentally appropriate, inviting, clean and everything is in good working condition. Everyone walks in and is like "wow, this space is amazing!" so why is this one lady so obsessed with the rest of my house?!
I have this DCM who just constantly rubs me the wrong way. It's not even anything that bad, it's just that every interaction with her always leaves me going "Wait... What??"
One big thing is that she seems weirdly obsessed with being in my house. We use the back door for daycare and you get to the playroom right from that entrance. There is no need for anyone (parent or child) to go into the rest of the house. It is a completely separate section of the house and closed off from the rest by lockable doors. This Mom insisted on showing up at my front door even after numerous reminders to use the back door. You have to walk through the entire house to get to the playroom coming in that way. After the first two times I started answering the front door with my shoes on and walking her back outside and around to the back door. Both times we walked through the house, she put her child down and attempted to follow behind them when they ran off the main hall and tried to go running around my living and dining rooms. She carries the child everywhere every other time. I don't even understand what the issue could be as the back door is at the end of the driveway, just a couple feet from where she parks her car to do drop off. She literally was parking, then carrying the kid and all their stuff all the way around the side of the house and up the big front porch and then walking through my entire house, dropping off, then trying to get me to let her walk through my house again to leave. She actually tried to "argue" when I told her to leave through the back door and she paused, sighed, then gave in when I explained that she couldn't walk through my whole main floor again, alone, because she wouldn't be able to lock the front door behind her.
Even during our first interview, when she was leaving she stopped to look in the closet beside the playroom (it was locked and she unlocked it) and when she came to drop off the paperwork she asked to use the washroom. She lives less than 5 minutes away but ok... So I walked her to the bathroom and returned to the playroom and was waiting with all her paperwork to bring home. She seemed to be taking a while so when I went to check on her, I found her and her child sitting on my couch, reading a book from my own child's (non-daycare) stash of toys! She at least looked a little sheepish and said her child ran off so she went to get them and that this was their favourite book. (I took the book and said that the rest of the house wasn't child-proofed so we don't bring the children on this side).
But 6 months in, it's still happening. She's showed up to the front door a few more times and I've ignored the knocking and just told her come to the back when she's called/texted for me to open the door. There was one time when the child was having a meltdown at drop off and I said come, we'll wave at mommy through the window. This one was strange because the mom went from looking sad that her child was having a tough time to just absolutely beaming and was like "Ya! Wave in the window!" but when I carried the child to the window, the mom visibly hunched down looking disappointed and was like "Oh, not the living room window?". Like... What? That's at the front of the house and part of my PERSONAL SPACE.
She also asked that I let the child lay on my couch and watch TV one day when they were having (another) bad day. I don't really do screen time but they were the only one there that day. I said I had a little tv I could bring into the playroom and mom was like "Oh, uh well. She likes the big screen. And the couch will make her feel more at home." I reminded her that we don't use my personal home space during daycare hours and again, she visibly hunched down and looked disappointed.
Then, the other day we were playing outside when Mom showed up. She came to the fence and said she was going to get her kid's stuff and she'd be right back. After way too long, I grabbed the kids and we were just getting inside when the mom was coming through my side door. She said that she was just watching her kid through the kitchen windows. Just, why???? You could see them from the cubby area windows or even just come outside to see them. Why go through my house?!
She's also repeatedly asked that her child sleep in a separate room for naptime, away from everyone else. We don't have any naptime issues but she says they have trouble sleeping at home because of the other kids being there at naptime...? Every time I offer to set up their bed in the entrance/mudroom as it's separated by a door and I could just put up curtains in the window. Every time she suggests I use one of the bedrooms in the house, instead. And every time I decline and explain that I need to be able to supervise everyone and I can't have one kid alone on another floor on the other side of my pretty large house. So she says nevermind, it's fine. Until the next time she asks.
She also tried suggesting that I allow her 18 month old to eat at my dining room table as they're trying to get the child used to that at home. I double checked because I thought she had said the child still used a high chair at home (and ate in front of the TV) and she said yes, but they wanted to try to start eating at a table. I said awesome, because I have a toddler table that I use with the kids her age and the little chairs are perfect for table practice. She asked if I could put the table in the dining room and again I had to flatly say we don't use the home space during the day.
I understand that she might want to get a feel for the space her child is in during the day, but I also feel I've made it very clear that my home and my business are separate. The doors stay closed and the children are in the daycare spaces only. I just can't think of any other reason why she'd always be trying to get herself or her child into my personal spaces.
Humbly, my daycare space is great! It's all developmentally appropriate, inviting, clean and everything is in good working condition. Everyone walks in and is like "wow, this space is amazing!" so why is this one lady so obsessed with the rest of my house?!