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Unregistered 06:52 PM 02-14-2011
I have a class of 12 three-year-olds and two four-year-olds. And private parts seem to the flavor of the month. I have a 3YO girl who masturbates loudly every day during rest time. I have several boys who routinely walk out of the bathroom with their pants down and privates showing. And today, I had a 3YO boy pull his pants and underwear down and show his penis to a female classmate, standing about 6 inches from her face. I will admit I kind of overreacted, and I took him to our director, who told me to keep him out of the population and call his mother.

Im really not okay with 3YOs showing their privates to one another. I've done my research, and it seems that its a normal part of childhood, but to me it blurs the line between "private" and not private. And most of our parents would go ballistic if they knew this was occurring, despite the research.

What can I do to stop this? The favorite topic of conversation is "booty". We're going to have a frank discussion at Circle Time about private parts, good touching/bad touching, etc...but...
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QualiTcare 07:18 PM 02-14-2011
masturbates loudly?

i'm still stuck there.....

the private part talk IS normal, but....
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DCMomOf3 07:27 PM 02-14-2011
I'm with you Qual, I just can't wrap my head around that sentence.

The rest is normal, and with that number of kids it would take time to correct the kids that that bathroom talk is not for public spaces, if you have the need to try to control it. I would not allow the privates being shown, that I would talk about and correct. Privates should not be seen in public.
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Michael 07:31 PM 02-14-2011
Yes, apart from that sentence it appears to be a logical thread. If I don't hear back from the original poster soon I this thread is going away.
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Unregistered 07:52 PM 02-14-2011
Sorry I didnt clarify.

She puts her hands in underwear and touches herself, and makes moaning loud noises (loud enough to wake children sleeping near her).
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ammama 07:56 PM 02-14-2011
I've always told my dck's that potty talk is for the bathroom only, and if the offender wants to continue using it, they can go to the potty. This has worked well. Of course, if they are asking real questions or having a real conversation (such as asking me why girls have this and boys have that), then I will talk with them about it, but for nonsense attention getting potty talk, they go to the potty.
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QualiTcare 08:31 PM 02-14-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Sorry I didnt clarify.

She puts her hands in underwear and touches herself, and makes moaning loud noises (loud enough to wake children sleeping near her).
that's not normal. have you talked to the parents?
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kendallina 03:43 AM 02-15-2011
Originally Posted by ammama:
I've always told my dck's that potty talk is for the bathroom only, and if the offender wants to continue using it, they can go to the potty. This has worked well. Of course, if they are asking real questions or having a real conversation (such as asking me why girls have this and boys have that), then I will talk with them about it, but for nonsense attention getting potty talk, they go to the potty.
This is exactly what I do.

As for the masturbating, my daughter does it (she's 2, been doing it since she was 11 months). Everytime she's in the carseat she grinds up against the buckle. And grunts. I've known other children to do it. I spoke to my daughter's doctor about it and she said it's normal. Some children learn very young that touching themselves there feels good.
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angelpayne24 04:11 AM 02-15-2011
when my daughter was little she did the masturbating thing too. she was never loud about it though. i also asked the doctor what in the world was going on! and he told me it was normal, but to stop her if she was doing it in front of people and tell her if she wants to do that she has to go to her room in private.
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Blackcat31 06:00 AM 02-15-2011
Yeah, I had a dcg who did the same thing at naptime (just not loudly) and mom brought her to their family physician and the doctor said it was normal and it was her way of soothing herself. Mom worked with a family counselor and found alternate ways for the child to soothe herself. It was tough going at first becuase it is similar to breaking a bad habit like a paci, but mom stayed on top of it and supplied the girl with a textured piece of cloth that she could rub betwen her fingers while going to sleep.

I would talk with dcm and have her seek help from a pediatrician or counselor so she can divert the behavior to some other form of self soothing. This all happened when the girl was around 2 to 3 years old and she is now 4.5 and no longer has this issue.
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dEHmom 06:55 AM 02-15-2011
some may consider it masterbating but I do not. In that young of a group I mean.

It's completely natural for them to explore themselves. Most will do this privately, but it isn't a "bad" thing.

It's not something that anyone else needs to know. And someone needs to talk about this with her privately, and explain this is a private thing. Talk to her mom about this, and advise her to explain this to her, as it's not really for you to have to do.

The privates are always a taboo (really should they be????) but the kids need to learn that it's not "disgusting" to have these parts, etc, but that it is "private" and it's not for sharing with anyone else. They are too young to get into the until you are married speech. I had a really good website on that once, I'll see if I can find it, and I'll post it.

For the older kids, if they are showing stuff, then they need to be present when you explain this to the parents. Then if it continues suspended until they know how to act.
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cillybean83 07:54 AM 02-15-2011
my SIL caught my neice masturbating when she was 8 or so, and she just told her that it's fine, and that only she could touch her own privates, never let anyone else touch them, etc etc...I think it's normal for all little kids to explore their bodies
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dEHmom 08:03 AM 02-15-2011
this is not the same site I mentioned above, but it's close to it.


http://kidshealth.org/parent/positiv...tions_sex.html
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kendallina 08:06 AM 02-15-2011
Originally Posted by angelpayne24:
when my daughter was little she did the masturbating thing too. she was never loud about it though. i also asked the doctor what in the world was going on! and he told me it was normal, but to stop her if she was doing it in front of people and tell her if she wants to do that she has to go to her room in private.
Yup, we tell my DD that she can do it in her bedroom by herself. She's at an age now where she is beginning to understand that it's private and she can do it alone.
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QualiTcare 03:26 PM 02-17-2011
i haven't seen much of this with young kids (toddlers/preschool). 11 months is shocking to me.

i've seen a few kids have a "habit" which is what i called it of putting their hands in their pants, but i've never seen one so young actually masturbating and certainly not making noises.

i dunno.
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momatheart 03:42 PM 02-17-2011
We have a 4 year old girl in class who does this at nap time. Sometimes she makes heavy breathing noises. I know this is normal.

I am wondering if this might be a phase?

some boys at times are falling asleep with their hands in their pants too. I think they just like to cover it or hold it. Or they will lay on their hand.
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Tags:2011, playing doctor, privates
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