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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What vs. Yes
Hunni Bee 10:56 AM 01-30-2013
Do you correct your dcks if they reply with "what" when if you call them. I used to at my old place, but with these kids...thats what they say home. I will correct, when they answer rudely ("what?!"),but otherwise it would be all I do.
It grates on my nerves, though.
It grates on my nerves, though.
Willow 11:07 AM 01-30-2013
I don't usually have to call my daycare kids but with my daughter learning that deal my go to phrase was: "I'm not saying your name because I like the sound of my own voice!" 
With my son it was more like:
Me - Son!
Son - What!
Me - (pretending not to hear) What?
Son - WHAT DO YOU WANT???!
Me - Huh?!
Son comes running up exasperated - What did you want?????
Me - You. Glad you finally figured that out
With my son it was more like:
Me - Son!
Son - What!
Me - (pretending not to hear) What?
Son - WHAT DO YOU WANT???!
Me - Huh?!
Son comes running up exasperated - What did you want?????
Me - You. Glad you finally figured that out
itlw8 11:36 AM 01-30-2013
Maybe I am rude or it is the area we live in. I see nothing wrong with what. I hate where they say nothing and do not look at you. Did they hear or not?
But then this is not a yes sir or yes maam area so maybe that is the difference.
If you just say my name I will say what. I am wanting to know what you want.
If you say my name and please come here. then I would say yes or just a minute please. So to me what is not rude. ( though HUH drives me crazy)
But then this is not a yes sir or yes maam area so maybe that is the difference.
If you just say my name I will say what. I am wanting to know what you want.
If you say my name and please come here. then I would say yes or just a minute please. So to me what is not rude. ( though HUH drives me crazy)
Starburst 11:43 AM 01-30-2013
Some people might say that when a child responds "What" when being called that it is a sign of disrespect. So in some places (usually in the south) children are expected to reply to an adult: "Yes, Ma'am/Sir?" or "Yes, Miss/Mr (first name)".
Usually they respond "What" because they see their parents or teachers responding this way when they are calling them and it becomes a learned social habit/vanacular. So the more you let them practice it, enforce/praise it, and model it yourself the more likely they are to use it.
Usually they respond "What" because they see their parents or teachers responding this way when they are calling them and it becomes a learned social habit/vanacular. So the more you let them practice it, enforce/praise it, and model it yourself the more likely they are to use it.
Holiday Park 11:48 AM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
Maybe I am rude or it is the area we live in. I see nothing wrong with what. I hate where they say nothing and do not look at you. Did they hear or not?
But then this is not a yes sir or yes maam area so maybe that is the difference.
If you just say my name I will say what. I am wanting to know what you want.
If you say my name and please come here. then I would say yes or just a minute please. So to me what is not rude. ( though HUH drives me crazy)
This is what I feel but my area does happen to be yes mayam yes sir place lol I just personally don't agree with yesMa'am ? And halpen to prefer "yes?" Or what?" With my own kids I taught them from an early age that when your name is called you don't even say what, just hurry up and come to me where ever I'm at . UNLESS they have a legitimate reason they can't for a second they can say I'm coming, just a second!" Maybe I am rude or it is the area we live in. I see nothing wrong with what. I hate where they say nothing and do not look at you. Did they hear or not?
But then this is not a yes sir or yes maam area so maybe that is the difference.
If you just say my name I will say what. I am wanting to know what you want.
If you say my name and please come here. then I would say yes or just a minute please. So to me what is not rude. ( though HUH drives me crazy)
I can say "Kids!" And all three of them come running from where ever they are in the house to see what I want. My 15 month old already knows to come crawling/walking (Hes just learning to walk) to me if I call his name and say cheerfully "come here " . so for me personally when I call a child not my own and they don't even acknowledge me or walk to me (just look with a blank look like they jave no clue) Im like geez didn't this kids mother teach him to come when he's called?? Lol
Blackcat31 11:51 AM 01-30-2013
I usually speak to the group of kids at once so no one actually answers and I rarely speak to them individually from another room or out of sight. If I am speaking directly to them, they are usually directly in front of me already.
I will correct them when they forget to say "Please" and /or "Thank you" though. I will often ignore or pretend I don't hear the older ones if they forget the please or thank you and that serves as a silent cue to what I expect them so do.
I have several children who have parents that require them to say "Miss (my first name)" when speaking to me.
I will correct them when they forget to say "Please" and /or "Thank you" though. I will often ignore or pretend I don't hear the older ones if they forget the please or thank you and that serves as a silent cue to what I expect them so do.
I have several children who have parents that require them to say "Miss (my first name)" when speaking to me.
CedarCreek 12:25 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Some people might say that when a child responds "What" when being called that it is a sign of disrespect. So in some places (usually in the south) children are expected to reply to an adult: "Yes, Ma'am/Sir?" or "Yes, Miss/Mr (first name)".
Usually they respond "What" because they see their parents or teachers responding this way when they are calling them and it becomes a learned social habit/vanacular. So the more you let them practice it, enforce/praise it, and model it yourself the more likely they are to use it.
This is what I teach all of my kids. I have never even thought about another option. Here in Texas, we are raised to respond with "yes mam/sir?" Drives me nuts when kids say "What?"Some people might say that when a child responds "What" when being called that it is a sign of disrespect. So in some places (usually in the south) children are expected to reply to an adult: "Yes, Ma'am/Sir?" or "Yes, Miss/Mr (first name)".
Usually they respond "What" because they see their parents or teachers responding this way when they are calling them and it becomes a learned social habit/vanacular. So the more you let them practice it, enforce/praise it, and model it yourself the more likely they are to use it.
Bookworm 03:33 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
This is what I teach all of my kids. I have never even thought about another option. Here in Texas, we are raised to respond with "yes mam/sir?" Drives me nuts when kids say "What?"
Same here. I think southerners are genetically predisposed to say yes/no ma'am/sirThis is what I teach all of my kids. I have never even thought about another option. Here in Texas, we are raised to respond with "yes mam/sir?" Drives me nuts when kids say "What?"
BumbleBee 05:40 PM 01-30-2013
Heaven help me if I say "what?" when my own parents say my name.
I'm guilty of saying "what?" when one of the dck calls my name. However I do have a reason! A little story:
Dck: Miss ***
Me: Yes?
Dck: Okay thanks! *runs off to do what she KNOWS is not allowed*
Stinker
I'm guilty of saying "what?" when one of the dck calls my name. However I do have a reason! A little story:
Dck: Miss ***
Me: Yes?
Dck: Okay thanks! *runs off to do what she KNOWS is not allowed*
Stinker
CedarCreek 06:42 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
Heaven help me if I say "what?" when my own parents say my name.
I'm guilty of saying "what?" when one of the dck calls my name. However I do have a reason! A little story:
Dck: Miss ***
Me: Yes?
Dck: Okay thanks! *runs off to do what she KNOWS is not allowed*
Stinker
Exactly, if I would have said "what" in response growing up in my grandparents house,I would have gotten the bajeezus knocked out of me! Southerners are sticklers for respecting your elders!Heaven help me if I say "what?" when my own parents say my name.
I'm guilty of saying "what?" when one of the dck calls my name. However I do have a reason! A little story:
Dck: Miss ***
Me: Yes?
Dck: Okay thanks! *runs off to do what she KNOWS is not allowed*
Stinker
Starburst 11:33 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
Heaven help me if I say "what?" when my own parents say my name.
I'm guilty of saying "what?" when one of the dck calls my name. However I do have a reason! A little story:
Dck: Miss ***
Me: Yes?
Dck: Okay thanks! *runs off to do what she KNOWS is not allowed*
Stinker
Heaven help me if I say "what?" when my own parents say my name.
I'm guilty of saying "what?" when one of the dck calls my name. However I do have a reason! A little story:
Dck: Miss ***
Me: Yes?
Dck: Okay thanks! *runs off to do what she KNOWS is not allowed*
Stinker
I have heard adult also try to acknowlege the child by using "what" in a complete sentence (can sound different depending on tone you use):
"What do you need, DCK?"* "I am here. What do you need, DCK?"*
"What is it, DCK?"*/"What is it that you need, DCK?"*
"What's up, DCK?"*"
Some other options:
"How may I help you, DCK?"*
"I am here/in here, DCK"*---> usually so the child can follow their voice if in another room
"Here" or "Present"
* Use of child's name optional
I think its more about the one work and the annoyed, upset, or angry tones usually associated with "WHAT?!" that can come off as disrepectful to some people- it may not sound so disrespectful if said in a playful tone like "whuat..." (thats ususally what parents do when they know their kids are buttering them up). Also it is not a complete sentence; So to some it can come off as disrespectful or rude by making it look like a form of being too lazy, busy, or not having the respect/ communication skills to complete the sentence.
Lucy 09:48 AM 01-31-2013
You made me think about this!! I've never really consciously thought about why I answer the way I answer!
When a kid says, "Lucy?" (not my real name lol) I automatically say, "Yes?". It just comes automatically. I had never thought about it until reading this thread, but now I realize it's because that's what my Dad always said. It brought a little tear to my eye, because he passed away recently. I learned a lot from him. Obviously more things than I've even realized!
Ok, that being said.... It doesn't matter to me if the kids say "What?", as long as they say it in a respectful tone. I will most definitely call them out if they say it in an annoyed tone - as if I'm bothering or interrupting them. If that happened, I would say, "Excuse Me???" and they would change the tone of what they said. I'm big on politeness around here! If I ask if they want a 2nd graham cracker and they merely say "uh-huh", or "yes"... I will parrot back "Yes please?" and they say "yes please". I will stand and wait for the thank you afterward.
I also don't put up with them arguing with each other. I don't care if they disagree, but state your beef in respectful tones and work it out. No arbitrary yelling of the other one's name in disgust. State what you didn't like/don't agree with, and give the other person a chance to calmly give their side, then work it out yourselves. Don't come running to me tattling that so-and-so won't give you a toy or whatever the case may be. And usually all it takes from me is to say, "Be nice". They know what that means!
When a kid says, "Lucy?" (not my real name lol) I automatically say, "Yes?". It just comes automatically. I had never thought about it until reading this thread, but now I realize it's because that's what my Dad always said. It brought a little tear to my eye, because he passed away recently. I learned a lot from him. Obviously more things than I've even realized!
Ok, that being said.... It doesn't matter to me if the kids say "What?", as long as they say it in a respectful tone. I will most definitely call them out if they say it in an annoyed tone - as if I'm bothering or interrupting them. If that happened, I would say, "Excuse Me???" and they would change the tone of what they said. I'm big on politeness around here! If I ask if they want a 2nd graham cracker and they merely say "uh-huh", or "yes"... I will parrot back "Yes please?" and they say "yes please". I will stand and wait for the thank you afterward.
I also don't put up with them arguing with each other. I don't care if they disagree, but state your beef in respectful tones and work it out. No arbitrary yelling of the other one's name in disgust. State what you didn't like/don't agree with, and give the other person a chance to calmly give their side, then work it out yourselves. Don't come running to me tattling that so-and-so won't give you a toy or whatever the case may be. And usually all it takes from me is to say, "Be nice". They know what that means!