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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>A Poem My Daughter Wrote About Me Doing Daycare :(
Soccermom 09:58 AM 06-19-2014
This is a poem that my almost 12 year old DD wrote....they pick up a lot more than we think I guess. This poem breaks my heart but I am impressed at how well written it is. (I fixed the spelling errors for the post though )

I am glad that you are home mom, because I love you with all my heart,
But when I walk through the door, happy for my day with you to start
All I see is chaos and some days it feels like everything is falling apart.

There are days when all I wanted was your shoulder so I could cry
Days when things at school kind of went awry
But lately there is no room on your lap so I don't even try

I just would love to talk to you and have you all to me
Just once come home to joy and peace, a house that is stress free
But I know you need to work, you need to make money

The screams give me a headache, the fighting drives me mad
I think they are all cute but sometimes they are so bad.
Their parents are always late and you are always getting mad.

At dinner all we talk about is how stressed out you feel
I try to change the subject and compliment the meal
But I understand your need to talk because some days are just unreal


I don't understand why all moms cannot just stay home
Make meals for their own kids, pick up the toys they've thrown
At least just for a little while, until their kids are grown

I don't mean to make you sad Mom, I just miss your pretty smile
I'd love for us to just be a family even if only for awhile
I hope that you're not angry, I don't mean to sound hostile

It's just that most days I feel like I live inside of a volcano
Feeling all the time like any minute, the whole thing could just blow
It is never really very calm because there is always something, you know...

Remember when we had plays at school and you would always come?
Now you have to stay at home and I know it makes you feel glum
I wish we could be the way we were, I don't like who we've become

I know you say that life is hard and we gotta do what we gotta do
And that is why when I come in I always try to help you
Our family is a strong one though so I know that we'll pull through.
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drseuss 10:05 AM 06-19-2014
OMG. This hits home so hard.
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Shell 10:09 AM 06-19-2014
It is very well written. I worry that my kids will feel this way one day too (if they don't already). What are you going to do?
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taylorw1210 10:13 AM 06-19-2014
Oh man, how heart breaking.
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SilverSabre25 10:19 AM 06-19-2014
oohhh, that broke my heart and i'm crying now...because i'm 99% sure my daughter (6.5) feels identically. Your daughter is amazingly well-spoken (written?) and kudos to you for raising her to feel comfortable voicing this to you at all!
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Patches 10:27 AM 06-19-2014
Can't form a response right now...too busy crying
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sugar buzz 10:30 AM 06-19-2014
Bless her heart...my own DD's could have written this. They've told me these same things many times. I made some cuts this summer and slashed my ratio. It's been such a luxury to have my own kids out number the daycare kids and get the majority of my attention for the first time in ten years. Regardless, I will always feel blessed that I was a working mother, who got to stay home. Yesterday, my 12 year-old was helping me push the stroller into the library and said: "Thanks, Mom. You did a really good job terrifying me and my friends about the idea of a teen pregnancy." LOL--I do what I can!
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Michelle 10:40 AM 06-19-2014
my own daughters could have written that
wonderful poem
I always try to tell them that this daycare pays for our home, clothes,food,Disneyland, private school, trips, etc.
but I think they would rather live in a one room shack with me sometimes than this
wow!
this really hits home
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hope 10:41 AM 06-19-2014
Looks like you have raised a very intelligent and loving little girl. You are very blessed that she can speak so openly to you. Please take some comfort in knowing that we all have mommy guilt. Thank you for sharing this.
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melilley 10:42 AM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by Patches:
Can't form a response right now...too busy crying
Same here.
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melilley 10:53 AM 06-19-2014
Ok, now that I'm done crying...
Wow, that is very well written! I often wonder if my dd feels that way too, she's 11. I just opened a year and a half ago so she didn't grow up with me having an in home dc, but lately I feel like my house is exactly how your dd described. In the past I could take off from work (I worked in a center) and go to almost all of her school parties and this year I couldn't and honestly, it broke my heart. I know she's getting a little old for school parties, but still. And some days it is a mad house here. I always ask her how she feels about the dc and she always says she doesn't mind, but I always wonder if she is telling the truth. I'm going to have her read your daughter's poem.

I sometimes have regrets about opening my dc, but at the same time if I didn't, my 1 yo ds would have to go to someone else's dc and my daughter would most likely have to go to the before school program.

Thank you for sharing!

Maybe our kids need a forum of all kids of dc parents to go to to vent and share like we do.
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Michelle 11:04 AM 06-19-2014
Did anyone see the movie
" Mom's Night Out"?
it's about a stay at home mom that complains about how hard her life is and how she just needs to get a break

I absolutely hated that movie!!!
I would give anything to have just one day with my daughter and just be a mom
I know we have weekends but when she comes home all excited about something at school she has to just follow me around and talk because it is the busiest time of the day
I have tried everything such as waking the kids up 20 minutes later etc. but nothing works
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Michelle 11:05 AM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
Ok, now that I'm done crying...
Wow, that is very well written! I often wonder if my dd feels that way too, she's 11. I just opened a year and a half ago so she didn't grow up with me having an in home dc, but lately I feel like my house is exactly how your dd described. In the past I could take off from work (I worked in a center) and go to almost all of her school parties and this year I couldn't and honestly, it broke my heart. I know she's getting a little old for school parties, but still. And some days it is a mad house here. I always ask her how she feels about the dc and she always says she doesn't mind, but I always wonder if she is telling the truth. I'm going to have her read your daughter's poem.

I sometimes have regrets about opening my dc, but at the same time if I didn't, my 1 yo ds would have to go to someone else's dc and my daughter would most likely have to go to the before school program.

Thank you for sharing!

Maybe our kids need a forum of all kids of dc parents to go to to vent and share like we do.

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Soccermom 11:10 AM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by Michelle:
Did anyone see the movie
" Mom's Night Out"?
it's about a stay at home mom that complains about how hard her life is and how she just needs to get a break

I absolutely hated that movie!!!
I would give anything to have just one day with my daughter and just be a mom
I know we have weekends but when she comes home all excited about something at school she has to just follow me around and talk because it is the busiest time of the day
I have tried everything such as waking the kids up 20 minutes later etc. but nothing works
Same here! She walks in the door at 3pm when all the littles are waking up, needing to be changed and it is also snack time 15 min. later.....plus she is walking in with 2 other School age kids who come right off the bus with her.
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MarinaVanessa 11:10 AM 06-19-2014
Okay. I read it and had to walk away to think about this some. I was in this situation also with my 9yo DD and I had a heart to heart with her about it. After thinking about you and my situation and after mulling over it some here is what I have to say, I'm going to try to talk you off the ledge.

As heart breaking as it is for your daughter to feel this way and for you to feel what you feel right now knowing that this is how your daughter feels I think you should take into consideration (and talk to DD about it) that unless you can stay home without struggling financially and not do daycare ... you doing daycare is the better option. I'll tell you why (for me at least) it is the better option and how I approached the subject with my DD.

If I didn't do daycare I would need to work elsewhere out of the home. That would mean that my 11mo and my 3yo would need to go to a full-day daycare and my 9yo would be at school all day and then need after school care. That wouldn't give my children more time with me than I get now. In fact, I would see my children less.

- But the quality time wouldn't be spent with my kids because of my responsibility to the DCK's - This is true, but i would BE there. Being there and being able to have at least some interaction with my children is better than someone else having that interaction with my children. On top of that I think about how if my kids were in group care they still would have to share that caregiver's attention as well. So they would get the same, if not less, attention from the caregiver (because no one is going to love them like I do) but they would now also see me less.

- I miss a lot of their school functions - My child's school holds a lot of it's function during normal work hours. I missed a lot of her functions anyway BEFORE I did daycare when she was in preschool BECAUSE of this. I need to WORK to get paid. My job wasn't as understanding when I told them that my DD had a preschool recital, celebration or field trip during work hours that I wanted to attend. They wouldn't give me the time off. If I'm already going to miss these events I'd rather be at home with my children even if that means I have to share my attention. For functions in the evenings I can close early, leave my DC with the children of late parents (and charge them for it) or I can change my hours.

- My kids are frustrated because of the chaos - I try harder at being proactive in preventing problems rather than being reactive after it becomes a problem. I spend nap time with my kids, take a few minutes out of the day to share a story with just my child and I allow my child to takes breaks away from the daycare to spend time by herself in her room. I remind myself that yes sometimes there is a lot of crying but there is crying and chaos among my own children because they are siblings and heaven forbid they get along with each other or even tolerate each other for longer than 5 minutes. It is normal child behavior.

It's hard. And heartbreaking. And frustrating. Feeling like you're between a rock and hard place is stressful. We are not super humans and life is full of hard choices. I chose the lesser of two evils. You can figure out what is most important to you and what benefits your family the most and then be proud that you are doing the best for your family, even if that decision doesn't feel completely right.

We as moms carry around the burden of the feelings and emotions of our family. We have to make sacrifices that our children don't always understand and may at the moment resent us for but from my personal experience when I grew up and looked back at my mom's sacrifices that I hated her for I understood the reasons behind her choices and I admired and respected her for them.

For now just take the time to talk to her and to listen. Maybe schedule some regular mom/daughter time for yourselves. Hang in there.
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hope 11:15 AM 06-19-2014
Can i suggest hiring a sub for times when you would like to go to dd's school functions and an occasional girl day for yourselves. It costs a little extra (sometimes a lot) but we'll worth it. I save up for such occasions.
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Play Care 11:41 AM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Okay. I read it and had to walk away to think about this some. I was in this situation also with my 9yo DD and I had a heart to heart with her about it. After thinking about you and my situation and after mulling over it some here is what I have to say, I'm going to try to talk you off the ledge.

As heart breaking as it is for your daughter to feel this way and for you to feel what you feel right now knowing that this is how your daughter feels I think you should take into consideration (and talk to DD about it) that unless you can stay home without struggling financially and not do daycare ... you doing daycare is the better option. I'll tell you why (for me at least) it is the better option and how I approached the subject with my DD.

If I didn't do daycare I would need to work elsewhere out of the home. That would mean that my 11mo and my 3yo would need to go to a full-day daycare and my 9yo would be at school all day and then need after school care. That wouldn't give my children more time with me than I get now. In fact, I would see my children less.

- But the quality time wouldn't be spent with my kids because of my responsibility to the DCK's - This is true, but i would BE there. Being there and being able to have at least some interaction with my children is better than someone else having that interaction with my children. On top of that I think about how if my kids were in group care they still would have to share that caregiver's attention as well. So they would get the same, if not less, attention from the caregiver (because no one is going to love them like I do) but they would now also see me less.

- I miss a lot of their school functions - My child's school holds a lot of it's function during normal work hours. I missed a lot of her functions anyway BEFORE I did daycare when she was in preschool BECAUSE of this. I need to WORK to get paid. My job wasn't as understanding when I told them that my DD had a preschool recital, celebration or field trip during work hours that I wanted to attend. They wouldn't give me the time off. If I'm already going to miss these events I'd rather be at home with my children even if that means I have to share my attention. For functions in the evenings I can close early, leave my DC with the children of late parents (and charge them for it) or I can change my hours.

- My kids are frustrated because of the chaos - I try harder at being proactive in preventing problems rather than being reactive after it becomes a problem. I spend nap time with my kids, take a few minutes out of the day to share a story with just my child and I allow my child to takes breaks away from the daycare to spend time by herself in her room. I remind myself that yes sometimes there is a lot of crying but there is crying and chaos among my own children because they are siblings and heaven forbid they get along with each other or even tolerate each other for longer than 5 minutes. It is normal child behavior.

It's hard. And heartbreaking. And frustrating. Feeling like you're between a rock and hard place is stressful. We are not super humans and life is full of hard choices. I chose the lesser of two evils. You can figure out what is most important to you and what benefits your family the most and then be proud that you are doing the best for your family, even if that decision doesn't feel completely right.

We as moms carry around the burden of the feelings and emotions of our family. We have to make sacrifices that our children don't always understand and may at the moment resent us for but from my personal experience when I grew up and looked back at my mom's sacrifices that I hated her for I understood the reasons behind her choices and I admired and respected her for them.

For now just take the time to talk to her and to listen. Maybe schedule some regular mom/daughter time for yourselves. Hang in there.

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SunshineMama 11:43 AM 06-19-2014
OMG I cried reading that, thinking about my kids.

Sometimes I find myself forcing myself to be extra nice to the dck's, so they go home happy and tell mom and dad how much fun they have, but I often forget to do it with my own kids, bc I get so busy with the dck's.

Thank you for sharing this. It hits home hard.
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CraftyMom 11:50 AM 06-19-2014
Sobbing like a baby! And wondering if my kids feels the same?

I decided though NOT to miss my kids school functions. I will not make it to every one of them, but I will make it to most. Today I opened at noon so I could go to my daughter's kindergarten graduation (they called it an awards ceremony, but it was a graduation, so I am soooo glad I didn't miss it!)

Parents sure were annoyed at me opening late, but guess what? I don't care! I gave them lots of notice and I understand (even if they don't ) that I will not get a do over or get these years back!
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childcaremom 12:09 PM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
Same here! She walks in the door at 3pm when all the littles are waking up, needing to be changed and it is also snack time 15 min. later.....plus she is walking in with 2 other School age kids who come right off the bus with her.
It is so hard to balance everyone's needs. So hard. I have been closed down for almost 2 weeks now but I can relate to this and almost every other comment here.

MV has some good suggestions. Just one little thing I did in relation to the above comment: I moved nap time to let my kids come home to a sleeping house and let us have 20-30 mins of catch up time together. Best part of the day. Maybe have an activity set up and ready for the SAs she comes home with and spend a few mins just with her to reconnect after her school day.

Scheduling a regular mom/daughter date is a great idea, too. My kids love those.


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midaycare 12:20 PM 06-19-2014
I agree with a pp who mentioned that if you had to work outside the home, you would actually see her less. This allows her to come home and see you, relax, and be in her own home.

It's a heartbreaking letter, and maybe also speaks to the fact that she sees you are very stressed out right now.



I have worked full time outside the home, worked part time outside the home, been a stay at home mom - since financially I wanted to make some money, this is the best option. Part time isn't worth it, and full time means I don't see my son from before school until 5:30-6:30 at night, depending on the job and location. Then I'm exhausted and have to process my busy day and a crappy boss and worry about keeping my job and pleasing my boss. No thanks! I'm much happier here, and fortunately, my son realizes that this is better than me outside the home. He remembers having me gone (he is almost 7).

I'm so sorry about the sad poem. I hope you get to talk things out with her.
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Blackcat31 12:47 PM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
This is a poem that my almost 12 year old DD wrote....they pick up a lot more than we think I guess. This poem breaks my heart but I am impressed at how well written it is. (I fixed the spelling errors for the post though ) .
Your DD is not alone in how she feels. My DH felt VERY similar growing up in his mom's daycare 40+ years ago...

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41913

(((hugs))) to you and your DD. We will never be the "perfect" parent but we can be the best parent we can be right now.
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DaisyMamma 01:02 PM 06-19-2014
wow. my kids feel the same. ive started a new career and hope to be done with the switch in a year.
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llpa 01:14 PM 06-19-2014
Wow!! One thing you can be proud of is that you raised an intelligent and insightful daughter who loves you and has compassion for you. the perfect answer never exists.
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Chellieleanne 01:30 PM 06-19-2014
aww I couldn't help but cry! My oldest is only 3 but it makes me so happy I am deciding to just be done when my third is born in September. I don't need the income fortunately which does help my decision but I can't imagine not being there for my kids. My mom stayed home from the time my brother was born( I was 11) until my brother was 10, he is now 13 and I am 24. and as much as it annoyed me I was glad because I had a ride to practices and always had her at my performances and what not. I hope my kids will grow up to be able to be able to talk to me like that(even in poem form).

you keep doing what you need to do and hopefully you can work something out to spend more time with your daughter!
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TwinKristi 01:34 PM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
oohhh, that broke my heart and i'm crying now...because i'm 99% sure my daughter (6.5) feels identically. Your daughter is amazingly well-spoken (written?) and kudos to you for raising her to feel comfortable voicing this to you at all!
I'm crying too... I'm sure my kids feel this way too sometimes

But like MV said, if I wasn't home found DC my kids would be in daycare or after school care until I got off work and the stress when they're sick would be more, etc. I've recently found a sub who I can call on for things in the future. Class parties, drs appts, etc.
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Laurel 02:29 PM 06-19-2014
Maybe you could make dinner a time when you absolutely don't talk about daycare and that would help.

Laurel
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dionmartin216 02:36 PM 06-19-2014
OMG this is so real. Your daughter amazing. I know that is how mine feel too. They both have said so many times. Sometimes I think to myself....it's sometimes not fair to them to have to share their home, food,toys
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Mom of 4 02:45 PM 06-19-2014
AWWW!!!

Part of the reason I work OUTSIDE the home now is because my kids HATED me doing the daycare after so many years. That and I was burnt out, underpaid, and overwhelmed.

My kids begged me to stay home and NOT run a daycare and NOT work. I had to make a choice. It was SO hard. My kids were not happy with me being so miserable, and I'll admit, by the time I was done for the day, I was TOO TIRED to even give my kids the time they deserved.


It's such a HARD thing. We do it to stay home with the kids, but then sometimes, it backfires, especially if you're too nice.

I would give ANYTHING to not have to work, but society/America today is so impossible, you just can't live without 2 incomes, unless you're lucky enough to have a spouse that makes a decent living.

I am vying for a work at home job now, with my current job, and at least I could save the commute, make breakfast, do my shift and LOG OUT. Then I have my 3 days off with the kids. Since we flip-flop our days off, the kids only go to child care 2x per week, and so we can finally make the time for them. IT IS HARD and I'm still VERY tired...but at the same time, I think they all need the time away and it's worked out.

Not everyone can afford to quit, though...especially if you have babies that don't go to school. I offer HUGE HUGS to all our Daycare Providers, including my own.
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Michelle 03:07 PM 06-19-2014
Marina Vanessa,
You always have the best advice!

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Unregistered 06:08 PM 06-19-2014
soccer mom, your post really hits home!
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daycaremum 10:39 AM 06-20-2014
What I take away from this is the way she perceives the daycare. It is loud, the kids are bad, it is chaotic.
At dinner she hears you complain and stress about work.
She even knows that parents are picking up their children late.

These are the things you can change!! Make your daycare a calmer, happier place. Clamp down on the bad behaviour she is witnessing from the children and the parents. Show your daughter how to make your work environment organized and calm.

Coming home to a quiet, calm daycare in her home, with a mom who is happy and not stressed will make a huge difference.

We are doing snack and getting ready for outside when my children arrive home, but the daycare kids are calm and quiet and my children can come and talk with me easily. They do not see misbehaving daycare kids.

They do not hear me complain about my job or daycare parents. And if I did need to complain I would do it to my husband without my kids around.

These changes will make your life and hers better.
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WImom 11:02 AM 06-20-2014
THANK YOU for posting this!! This makes me sad though. I could see my 9.5y old and 11y old daughters writing this same thing! It does end up consuming us and a lot of time at the end of the day I'm short with them because I hate to say it I'm just done with dealing with kids for the day, so when they fight with each other or do not listen I have a lot less patience then I would have otherwise.

I need to try and change some of this!
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WImom 11:03 AM 06-20-2014
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
What I take away from this is the way she perceives the daycare. It is loud, the kids are bad, it is chaotic.
At dinner she hears you complain and stress about work.
She even knows that parents are picking up their children late.

These are the things you can change!! Make your daycare a calmer, happier place. Clamp down on the bad behaviour she is witnessing from the children and the parents. Show your daughter how to make your work environment organized and calm.

Coming home to a quiet, calm daycare in her home, with a mom who is happy and not stressed will make a huge difference.

We are doing snack and getting ready for outside when my children arrive home, but the daycare kids are calm and quiet and my children can come and talk with me easily. They do not see misbehaving daycare kids.

They do not hear me complain about my job or daycare parents. And if I did need to complain I would do it to my husband without my kids around.

These changes will make your life and hers better.
I will be trying this!!
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rosieteddy 11:06 AM 06-20-2014
I to felt bad reading this,I have been doing childcare form my home for 30 yrs.I started when my own children were young.It was hard to not be the parent at school helping out .going on field trips ect.Even now though my two grandsons were in daycare here with me I miss their school things.I loved watching them grow up to be school age we do have a special bond. What I would say to my daughter if she wrote this poem is "life is not fair",Most parents have to work and isn't she lucky that when she is sick she gets to stay home in her own bed.Her Mom is there if she needs her,Are there other kids needing attention ,sure but her Mom is there.Is she able to go home after school ,yes.Does she have to go to after or before school care,no.My grandsons and all these children in my care are out of their own homes from 7:30-6:00pm every weekday.They do not get to go home and get to go to their own roomor see their parents until the end of the day.Daycare is hard ,but having a Mom work outside the home is also hard. I would sit down and talk to her about this and let her see some of the positives.. I would try to be a little less stressed if possible. You are doing what you feel is best for your family.At the end of the day you make the choice that is right for you.As I told my 4 children "this is my job and I think it is right for us . GOOD LUCK AND DO'T BE TO HARD ON YOUSELF.
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Annalee 11:18 AM 06-20-2014
Originally Posted by WImom:
THANK YOU for posting this!! This makes me sad though. I could see my 9.5y old and 11y old daughters writing this same thing! It does end up consuming us and a lot of time at the end of the day I'm short with them because I hate to say it I'm just done with dealing with kids for the day, so when they fight with each other or do not listen I have a lot less patience then I would have otherwise.

I need to try and change some of this!
Family child care is a unique, difficult, emotionally/physically draining job, BUT one that works for many ladies out there. My brother, which is my best advocate, laughs at me for how excited I get when ALL ages are asleep at the same time or a child learns to use their words, etc.....On the other hand, he also tells me that when the day has been less than enjoyable, that my attitude, face, and posture are bad.....AT FIRST, that hurt my feelings but after thinking about it, he was absolutely RIGHT! He knows how much I love my job, so he was NOT out to intentionally hurt me...it was constructive criticism. My boys are 10 and 12.....we have started walking in the evenings which has turned out to be great communication time. The summers for me are where mom and I either split working half days or take a day off. I have some clients who actually mail my check.... I close at 4:30 now, get paid 52 weeks a year, but close all school holidays and thurs/fri of spring/fall breaks.....I take week off in the summer and thurs/fri the last weekend before school starts back along with dec. 24 thru Jan. !. This is in addition to my conferences, personal days, unlimited emergency/family emergency days....SO I now have time for my boys...There was a time they would hear my complain/worry on how I would take them to the dr/dentist/pick them up at school/go to their school events.... I am NOT saying a provider can make all these changes at once, BUT I am saying reward your family with some extra time......It took me a while to get past worrying about keeping my business taking so much time off, but it works for some odd reason...I have learned if clients want what you have to offer, they will work around your policies....Good luck to you!
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nannyde 05:58 AM 06-24-2014
I think the poem really points to how you MUST be in control of your business and run a very tight ship especially with parental behavior and kids behavior. The things that stress our kids are the things the child said... crying, fighting, parents being late etc. If you strive to eliminate the high stressors it will affect your kids happiness in the work/home environment.

Also, I think the more you integrate your child's home life into your work the higher chance you have of having a stressed kid. I made a solid decision when my son was born to keep his home life separate from the daycare. He's 14 and I've never waivered.

The missing work hours school events is a tough one. It would be nice to attend that stuff. I would have loved it and so would my kid. Every job has it's downside. This is definitely one of them.

Now that my son is a teenager I have enjoyed having him to talk to about the work. I think he learns a lot from watching me problem solve. He has learned a lot about how adults behave. He really enjoys when I predict what will happen the next day or what a kid will do next and it happens. He thinks I'm psychic. He is learning that experience will train you to accurately predict the future. It's an amazing life lesson.

He doesn't like all things daycare. Oh well... he's got it so good... I don't feel a smidge guilty for his childhood.
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mrsnj 07:04 AM 06-24-2014




about all I could say.

I look at it this way... the grass is not always greener on the other side. Teens will find something to complain about. Not saying her feelings are invalid. Saying if you worked outside, she could complain about your hours and not being there. If you were a stay at home mom, she might complain that you were always there and suffocating with no break away. There is always a greener pasture. So in the end, your job allows you to pay for nice things and be home at the same time. Sometimes there has to be a middle.

I have a 16yr old. She not only wishes the kids would go away but so would I. LOL! She wants to come home like her friends and have a break with no one here. To a quiet house. But as she gets older I would like to think the times I sat with her to watch a movie when she was home sick, helped with homework, made home baked cookies, was able to chat with her when she needed it, those times I was able to go on trips or come to school activities...those might be the things she will remember. And not so much the littles, diapers and crying.

I do know it is made her compassionate, giving and and patient. She loves children and I see her maybe one day working with them as a teacher herself. I think she draws something from it even if she doesn't see it herself right now.
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daycare 08:55 AM 06-24-2014
Originally Posted by mrsnj:




about all I could say.

I look at it this way... the grass is not always greener on the other side. Teens will find something to complain about. Not saying her feelings are invalid. Saying if you worked outside, she could complain about your hours and not being there. If you were a stay at home mom, she might complain that you were always there and suffocating with no break away. There is always a greener pasture. So in the end, your job allows you to pay for nice things and be home at the same time. Sometimes there has to be a middle.

I have a 16yr old. She not only wishes the kids would go away but so would I. LOL! She wants to come home like her friends and have a break with no one here. To a quiet house. But as she gets older I would like to think the times I sat with her to watch a movie when she was home sick, helped with homework, made home baked cookies, was able to chat with her when she needed it, those times I was able to go on trips or come to school activities...those might be the things she will remember. And not so much the littles, diapers and crying.

I do know it is made her compassionate, giving and and patient. She loves children and I see her maybe one day working with them as a teacher herself. I think she draws something from it even if she doesn't see it herself right now.
So very true.....

Years ago when my son was about 12 he wrote a paper about me and my daycare. It was the exact opposite about what most kids have to say about it.

But my son has different life experiences and he was more than over the top greatful I did daycare.

He just graduated HS and gave a speech at his awards ceremony. I don't have copy of it, but he said that he learned from me that hard work pays off. That the rewards he sees make me a better person and better mom. He loved getting to know that children are just like him and me, only smaller. He knows that no matter where you come from, what you look like, how old you are, your education, you are important, because that is what he learned at my daycare.

Gee I want to ask him now if he has that speech and if he will share it with you guys. I am sure I am not doing it any justice.

Your daughters poem was beautiful. I do agree that each person will see it differently and will absorb different things from it.
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KiddieCahoots 11:25 AM 06-24-2014
Your daughter has a talent for putting her feelings and observations on paper. Even though it jogs some strong emotions, that's what makes what she's written so good!

My kids can sometimes relate, depends on the day.

I remember my now 28yr daughter giving me a letter when she was in jr high, and said, "all you ever care about is the day care!" But......fast forward to the present, where she is now trying to buy a house in the same neighborhood, planning for her own children to attend the child care. Because now she says, "there isn't a child care around that compares to the quality and love here!" Lol!

I guess my take on this is, if our children saw us everyday at work, regardless of where the stressors came from, or what could distract us from caring for them, would give them cause to be able to relate somehow.

I feel it comes down to what makes US happy. Like the saying goes, "If your happy, your children will be too", and so will our husbands for that matter. Lol! Like Nannyde mentioned, we must be in control of our business....if we can create the child care to accommodate us more, with our own happiness, then of course it will ultimately be accommodating our children's happiness, seeing that's top most on our priority list, kwim?
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My3cents 11:30 AM 06-24-2014
I think feelings are validated but the grass is not always greener on the other side- I see room for improvements on both ends of this to make it work better-
In a perfect world Moms wouldn't have to work~

This didn't send me to tears as it did many of you, I just look at it as room for understanding on the child's part and room to make it work better on the Provider Moms part.

I guess I just don't want to teach my child perfect but more of this is how we can work things out to be better for both of us- An understanding of others.

Thanks for sharing~
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Crazy8 06:10 PM 06-25-2014
and now I'm crying too. I am sure my kids feel the same way and I HATE it, but I would have to work outside the home if I didn't do daycare too. 3-5pm is just my craziest time and of course its when my kids come home.
Just yesterday I was crying because my daughter told someone I have no patience. I was upset, I feel like I "use up" all my patience on dck's and have none left over for my own some days.
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Tags:poem, provider children
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