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Old 07-29-2014, 04:52 PM
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Default Authorized to Pick up / Drop off at Daycare

Hello, I live in Minnesota. I currently have a parenting time order and I was told by my kids mom that I am the only person authorized to pick up and drop off our 2 children. She does not want my wife or any other relative of mine to provide any help for me and our 2 children. We did not discuss these conditions during our mediation to establish parenting time which I petitioned. My wife has a clean record and was a parent before coming into our marriage. What authority does my kids mom have to place these conditions on me? She has authorized people other than me to pick up and drop off our children. During mediation our mediator stated that any stipulation placed on one parent should hold true for the other parent. Especially if there is no findings or major issues that should only bind one parent to these requests. I needed to have my wife to drop off my children off at daycare, which I called the daycare provider to inform her of what we needed to have done. The daycare provider said it was fine and thanked me for calling to let her know. Then she called me back saying that she checked our parenting time order which states that the petitioner, me, will drop our children off at daycare at a certain time so she does not feel comfortable allowing my wife to drop my kids off. I think at this point it is safe to say that the daycare provider will not allow my to pick the kids up either. Our parenting time order does not state that I am the "only" person able to pick up/ drop off my children or that my wife or any other person is not allowed to pick up/ drop off my children. My kids go to a home daycare and the daycare provider has a personal relationship with my kids and their mom. Does the daycare provider have the authority to intervene in this process and deny my wife and me a resource that all other parents have the opportunity to experience during times that help is necessary without documentation that clearly denies us this right?
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Old 07-29-2014, 07:02 PM
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midaycare midaycare is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,659

That is rough. It will probably require another turn at mediation in order to get it straightened out.

It stinks, I know. Been there, done that, have the scars. My DH's ex is a special treat.

Just hold your head high and always put your kid(dos) first.
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Old 07-30-2014, 04:11 AM
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Second Home Second Home is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,569

Here we are only allowed to release a child to whoever is listed as an authorized pick up person , that is the law . The provider has to follow the law . Whether you are able to list your wife has nothing to do with the provider it falls to whoever filled out the daycare paperwork and what is on record from the courts .
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Old 07-30-2014, 04:43 AM
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coolconfidentme coolconfidentme is offline Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,536

In Indiana we CANNOT deny pickup from a parent without a court document stating otherwise. This is regardless of who has custody.

ps..., Most providers do not want to get in the middle of family disputes. We have a business to run & children are our priority. I'm sure you understand.
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Old 07-30-2014, 05:01 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 13,689

I know that, according to the law, your new wife is a legal stranger to the kids.

I believe that both parents have the right to add people to the emergency contact list, each during your own parenting time.

Who you choose, on your time, is up to you as long as you put them on the pick up list. (your provider is legally bound to follow the pick up list)

Check out, the guys there seem to know this stuff by heart.

**I have a feeling that the TIMING (or drama surrounding) of the drop offs and pick ups are more important to your childcare provider than WHO is doing them, IYKWIM. If your new wife's schedule (or attitude) is causing disruptions to her childcare program, of course she will ask you, personally, to handle it from now according to the agreed upon parenting plan.
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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custody issues, divorced parents, step parent

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