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Old 01-29-2014, 11:12 AM
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Mister Sir Husband Mister Sir Husband is offline
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Default Hoping I Can Have Some Restraint

Ya know... I've read on this forum quite a few situations that have me wondering if I am going to be successful at running a daycare. And by successful I mean will I offend enough parents that word of mouth will kill me.

I am very polite with my comments, but even with this being said, I am thinking I might have a hard time not asking the parents sometimes who is in charge.. you or your kid? .. or looking at parent who cant pay on time but has nails done, new cars, and every other luxury possible where their priorities are?

I have read about multiple situations on here where a lot of you fine providers are asking advice on how to handle difficult parents and various problems. I don't answer a lot of them, but I am however thinking to myself that if the parents are in fact the problem, they need to be told this!

All I know for sure is that I am licensed, have advertisements up, and am awaiting the barrage of calls to enroll kids.. should be a good time after that
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Old 01-29-2014, 11:20 AM
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I am a SUPER blunt person. I have a hard time beating around the bush. I have had to curb that to be able to be successful. Some of it is customer service. Some of it is choosing my battles. I only pick a battle that directly impacts me. That is why 3 of my kids are on bye bye outside. I really WANT to tell the parent to stop trying to be their childs friend and TELL them what to do, stop bribing them into their coats and just DO IT, stop allowing them to destroy my home, etc. It isn't my place, and it would offend them. Instead, we do bye bye outside so it's no longer my problem.

I don't care how they spend their money as long as dck has supplies and I am paid on time and in full. If a parent doesn't pay, they don't stay. End of story.

After a few years, you have pretty much heard it all. I thought going in to this I would get the respect I give, and everyone loved and cared for their children like I do mine. Now I have experience, and it has made me a little jaded.
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Old 01-29-2014, 11:39 AM
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Parents often want the easy road. Its easier to pacify than to parent. You just need to learn to pick your battles. Is standing there letting that little voice out to state your opinion worth what the result will occur after? Will you benefit from it? Is there personal gain or just a tension release? Just remember the old saying.....The client is always right...even if they aren't
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Old 01-29-2014, 11:44 AM
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Remember this- parenting doesn't come with a handbook, it doesn't require a degree and let's face it, sometimes there's not a wrong or right way for everyone. One of the things I like to ask parents is how they were parented and how the way they were raised effects the way they raise their kids. Step into their shoes for a minute and understand where they are coming from first so you can better help them.

I have a DCM who has an extremely tragic childhood story and so her approach with her son was to pretty much let him do whatever he wanted and never tell him no. I have worked a lot with her and her husband on what real love is to kids- and that often times means saying no (choosing the right battles), teaching independence and that your kids aren't going to always like you, but they will respect you for doing the right thing.

It sounds like you are starting off already on the defense, to be honest. That won't get you very far, in my opinion. You can stick to your own rules, which I do, but taking the time to get the parents "buy in" and get them on board so that we are all consistent leads to a very rewarding life for you and the parents! I would never take parents on that weren't willing to be on the same page and be consistent at home.

There is the contract piece of things- pay, etc, then there is the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". We are raising our future everyday and that is amazing. I often think about what these kids will be when they grow up, but more importantly who they will be. Will they be kind and loving? Will they be polite and considerate? Will they be open to hearing different points of view and no be stubborn? Will they set boundaries for themselves and have good self worth?

You have the ability to change the way these kids are raised! Embrace the experience!
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Old 01-29-2014, 12:43 PM
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I think you'll be fine. If you "run off" done undesirable parents, that is probably a good thing.
You can avoid a lot of the problems you read about here by doing the following:
1. Make a handbook for parents that set CLEAR expectations.
2. Enforce all of your policies from day one.
3. Do not accept psst-paid clients, only accept those willing to prepay.
4. Be fair and professional when problems do arise.

We have had maybe a handful of problem parents since we opened 7 years ago. They are the exception, not the rule.
Good luck!!
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Old 01-29-2014, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I am a SUPER blunt person. I have a hard time beating around the bush. I have had to curb that to be able to be successful. Some of it is customer service. Some of it is choosing my battles. I only pick a battle that directly impacts me. That is why 3 of my kids are on bye bye outside. I really WANT to tell the parent to stop trying to be their childs friend and TELL them what to do, stop bribing them into their coats and just DO IT, stop allowing them to destroy my home, etc. It isn't my place, and it would offend them. Instead, we do bye bye outside so it's no longer my problem.

I don't care how they spend their money as long as dck has supplies and I am paid on time and in full. If a parent doesn't pay, they don't stay. End of story.

After a few years, you have pretty much heard it all. I thought going in to this I would get the respect I give, and everyone loved and cared for their children like I do mine. Now I have experience, and it has made me a little jaded.
This is how I am too. Fortunately for me, I have figured out how to balance that blunt truthfulness with a bit of professionalism.

I also tell parents upon interviewing that I AM a blunt person and to not be offended with anything I say as NOTHING is personal. I encourage communication on a regular basis and tell them to ALWAYS ask if they aren't sure.

I think "delivery" of the message is just as important as the message itself.

Parents know exactly how I feel/think but don't get offended because most of what I've said to them has been with their best interests at heart and is always said in kindness.

I am also VERY good at apologizing for sticking my foot in my mouth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
I think you'll be fine. If you "run off" done undesirable parents, that is probably a good thing.
You can avoid a lot of the problems you read about here by doing the following:
1. Make a handbook for parents that set CLEAR expectations.
2. Enforce all of your policies from day one.
3. Do not accept psst-paid clients, only accept those willing to prepay.
4. Be fair and professional when problems do arise.

We have had maybe a handful of problem parents since we opened 7 years ago. They are the exception, not the rule.
Good luck!!
VERY good advice
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  #7  
Old 01-29-2014, 01:18 PM
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Sugar Magnolia hit it right on!!!

you have to give yourself a chance and you will learn as you go-
Those parents are the exception not the rule~ If you start out with clear expectations and stress this in your interviews you will attract clients that will appreciate you and respect you. All jobs have down falls-

I wish you the best~
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  #8  
Old 01-29-2014, 02:22 PM
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spud912 spud912 is offline
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Before I started child care, I always thought I would have problems being a pushover. I guess several years of working as a regulator beforehand changed me because I have found myself to be fairly straightforward (with some ability to be reasoned with). I worry now because ever since I've been pregnant, I'm finding myself to be a little TOO blunt . I hope I don't run people off too!
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  #9  
Old 01-29-2014, 04:48 PM
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I could have asked this same question, except that I am the exact opposite. I am very shy, introverted and dull. It takes me forever to say what's on my mind.

So I only learned through experience, trial and error. Of course this board as well.
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