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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Negative Attention
Ariana 06:57 PM 05-07-2017
I have two kids aged 3 and 17 months that both seem to thrive on negative attention. They pretty much spend their whole day trying to annoy me and getting into trouble doing things they know are wrong and will get a reaction. They have hit here as well and my usual "angry face" firmness did not deter them at all, which usually works 100%!
I have contacted mom and we are going to come up with a behavioral plan but I need help because I am not sure how to effectively deal with it. They obviously do not react to negative attention because its what they want and are clearly used to!
Any ideas?
I have contacted mom and we are going to come up with a behavioral plan but I need help because I am not sure how to effectively deal with it. They obviously do not react to negative attention because its what they want and are clearly used to!
Any ideas?
Cat Herder 06:19 AM 05-08-2017
You may want to try active ignore.
Change their environment to limit opportunities for real injury or damage (time consuming, but worth it IMHO), ignore all negative behaviors, praise all wanted behaviors.
It is a total change of logic and once you get used to it, you will probably find you prefer it to "typical" classroom management techniques. I know I do.
Change their environment to limit opportunities for real injury or damage (time consuming, but worth it IMHO), ignore all negative behaviors, praise all wanted behaviors.
It is a total change of logic and once you get used to it, you will probably find you prefer it to "typical" classroom management techniques. I know I do.
Ariana 09:07 AM 05-08-2017
Ok great thank you!!! That was my first instinct and what I had started doing last week but without a lot of experience I wasn't sure if it was a good idea 
trix23 02:02 PM 05-08-2017
How do you implement this if the child in question is pushing, shoving, etc?
Cat Herder 02:07 PM 05-08-2017
Originally Posted by trix23:
How do you implement this if the child in question is pushing, shoving, etc?
We are required to offer safe play space, learning experiences and excellent care; not other children. How do you implement this if the child in question is pushing, shoving, etc?
Our duty would then shift to providing safety for the other children. Individual play space, scaffolding small group play and shadowed group play until the child is ready for free large group play.
:Termination is also an option if this child is taking away too much of the classroom/group resources. Not all children do well in group care.
trix23 02:20 PM 05-08-2017
How would you handle a child's behavior that is doing this though?
Cat Herder 02:24 PM 05-08-2017
I am not sure we are having the same conversation. 
I answered above. I would small up his world and have him earn his free play back.
Individual play, then one "friend", then two, then three.... in a scaffold until he is able to play in a large group during free play times.
Free play is only a small part of my program.
I answered above. I would small up his world and have him earn his free play back.
Individual play, then one "friend", then two, then three.... in a scaffold until he is able to play in a large group during free play times.
Free play is only a small part of my program.
Cat Herder 02:34 PM 05-08-2017
Please don't think I am being sarcastic. I think we are simply having a terminology miscommunication.
The "words" change yearly, it seems, but the techniques rarely do.
I may be explaining it horribly. 
It is all based on "Discipline means to teach, not punish. Childcare providers are never to punish. It is our duty to teach."
The "words" change yearly, it seems, but the techniques rarely do.
I may be explaining it horribly. It is all based on "Discipline means to teach, not punish. Childcare providers are never to punish. It is our duty to teach."
Cat Herder 03:00 PM 05-08-2017
http://www.interventioncentral.org/b...trategies-menu
http://www.rtinetwork.org/learn/what/whatisrti
http://www.rtinetwork.org/learn/rti-in-pre-kindergarten
Excellent resources.
Many options to fit different programs.
http://www.rtinetwork.org/learn/what/whatisrti
http://www.rtinetwork.org/learn/rti-in-pre-kindergarten
Excellent resources.
Many options to fit different programs.
Unregistered 12:55 AM 05-10-2017
17 mo. Is really young to be thinking they purposively are doing things all day long they know is wrong. They are such tiny humans and are just learning what is appropriate behavior.
With the 3 yr old I'd set up expectations each morning. Without knowing what he/she is doing "wrong" it's hard for me to add other suggestions.
Yes, notice and comment on behavior you want to see.
What is your routine like? Does it need more structure or predictability? Is the child bored and you need to rotate toys? Do you have toys sorted and in bins or baskets so they are easy to use?
What time of day is hitting and pushing happening? Close to lunch or nap? Hunger and tiredness are mood altering. Do you need to bump up lunch or nap?
Do you stay fairly calm when misbehavior occurs? Some Kids love to see their adult "jump" and respond. Lots of power there!
Again, it's hard as I don't know specific issues.
With the 3 yr old I'd set up expectations each morning. Without knowing what he/she is doing "wrong" it's hard for me to add other suggestions.
Yes, notice and comment on behavior you want to see.
What is your routine like? Does it need more structure or predictability? Is the child bored and you need to rotate toys? Do you have toys sorted and in bins or baskets so they are easy to use?
What time of day is hitting and pushing happening? Close to lunch or nap? Hunger and tiredness are mood altering. Do you need to bump up lunch or nap?
Do you stay fairly calm when misbehavior occurs? Some Kids love to see their adult "jump" and respond. Lots of power there!
Again, it's hard as I don't know specific issues.
Unregistered 01:22 AM 05-10-2017
Also, relationship is the base for everything. Relationships and connections are at the core for all humans.
Are you connecting daily? Kids thrive on connection. There should be lots of positive interaction....a high five, a pat on the back, conversation, smiles, etc.
Misbevaior is many times a bid for attention and attention seeking behavior shows itself in many ways and can be confusing . Without positive interaction kids will go for the negative! You have to have many more tools than mean face and stern voice.
Now I don't mean all day long and it needs to be "real". When we are are genuine with kids and are invested in them they thrive!
Do they get the feeling you like being around children, enjoy your day with them, are you filling their bucket or is their bucket empty? Children's cups are small and overflow quickly and then negative behavior happens.
Remember rules without relationship = rebellion!
Are you connecting daily? Kids thrive on connection. There should be lots of positive interaction....a high five, a pat on the back, conversation, smiles, etc.
Misbevaior is many times a bid for attention and attention seeking behavior shows itself in many ways and can be confusing . Without positive interaction kids will go for the negative! You have to have many more tools than mean face and stern voice.
Now I don't mean all day long and it needs to be "real". When we are are genuine with kids and are invested in them they thrive!
Do they get the feeling you like being around children, enjoy your day with them, are you filling their bucket or is their bucket empty? Children's cups are small and overflow quickly and then negative behavior happens.
Remember rules without relationship = rebellion!
Cat Herder 09:14 AM 05-10-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Also, relationship is the base for everything. Relationships and connections are at the core for all humans.
Are you connecting daily? Kids thrive on connection. There should be lots of positive interaction....a high five, a pat on the back, conversation, smiles, etc.
Misbevaior is many times a bid for attention and attention seeking behavior shows itself in many ways and can be confusing . Without positive interaction kids will go for the negative! You have to have many more tools than mean face and stern voice.
Now I don't mean all day long and it needs to be "real". When we are are genuine with kids and are invested in them they thrive!
Do they get the feeling you like being around children, enjoy your day with them, are you filling their bucket or is their bucket empty? Children's cups are small and overflow quickly and then negative behavior happens.
Remember rules without relationship = rebellion!
Excellent post Also, relationship is the base for everything. Relationships and connections are at the core for all humans.
Are you connecting daily? Kids thrive on connection. There should be lots of positive interaction....a high five, a pat on the back, conversation, smiles, etc.
Misbevaior is many times a bid for attention and attention seeking behavior shows itself in many ways and can be confusing . Without positive interaction kids will go for the negative! You have to have many more tools than mean face and stern voice.
Now I don't mean all day long and it needs to be "real". When we are are genuine with kids and are invested in them they thrive!
Do they get the feeling you like being around children, enjoy your day with them, are you filling their bucket or is their bucket empty? Children's cups are small and overflow quickly and then negative behavior happens.
Remember rules without relationship = rebellion!
I think so many of us here just assume this is a "given" that we don't even bring it up when we are discussing our client issues with each other. 
Maybe it should be discussed more often. Thanks for the reminder. It gives me some new ideas for my parent pages.
Unregistered 06:11 PM 05-10-2017
Misbehavior .....I hate when I see typos I make! Also, I should have stated children's "emotional" cups are small and overflow quickly.
So when their bucket is empty their small emotional cup fills up and overflows because the bucket is empty!!
Thanks Cat Herder!
So when their bucket is empty their small emotional cup fills up and overflows because the bucket is empty!!
Thanks Cat Herder!
Ariana 10:21 AM 05-11-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
17 mo. Is really young to be thinking they purposively are doing things all day long they know is wrong. They are such tiny humans and are just learning what is appropriate behavior.
In general I agree with you but with this specific child that is precisely what is happening. She does something "wrong" and then looks at me and laughs.17 mo. Is really young to be thinking they purposively are doing things all day long they know is wrong. They are such tiny humans and are just learning what is appropriate behavior.
Originally Posted by :
With the 3 yr old I'd set up expectations each morning. Without knowing what he/she is doing "wrong" it's hard for me to add other suggestions.
The thing he is doing wrong is hitting, pushing and taking things away from other children without asking and asking me the same question over and over eventhough it has been answered. The child knows what the expectations are as they are stated on a continual basis.With the 3 yr old I'd set up expectations each morning. Without knowing what he/she is doing "wrong" it's hard for me to add other suggestions.
Originally Posted by :
Yes, notice and comment on behavior you want to see.
Yes this seems to help.Yes, notice and comment on behavior you want to see.
Originally Posted by :
What is your routine like? Does it need more structure or predictability? Is the child bored and you need to rotate toys? Do you have toys sorted and in bins or baskets so they are easy to use?
My routine is predictable and is pretty much the same every day except for the art we engage in or whether we have outdoor play. Bin and baskets are all at kids level and are sorted. Yes he is bored! He has no idea how to play. I suggest things and he will engage in it for maybe 2-3 minutes but that is as much as his attention span will allow. He watches a lot of tv at home and asks for it a lot. When we are outside he is great at coming up with play ideas and I am thinking it is because there is no tv outside so he is used to being "bored" and having to engage in an activity. My outdoor toys never change.What is your routine like? Does it need more structure or predictability? Is the child bored and you need to rotate toys? Do you have toys sorted and in bins or baskets so they are easy to use?
Originally Posted by :
What time of day is hitting and pushing happening? Close to lunch or nap? Hunger and tiredness are mood altering. Do you need to bump up lunch or nap?
It all stems from boredom. He is not tired or hungry. The pushing definitely happens at random times and having done an ABC (antecedeng, behavior and consequences) of the behavior there is nothing provoking it. Two kids sitting next to eachother and he will take the opportunity to head butt the other child. Someone is having fun with a dinosaur, he will go up and grab it out of their hands.What time of day is hitting and pushing happening? Close to lunch or nap? Hunger and tiredness are mood altering. Do you need to bump up lunch or nap?
Originally Posted by :
Do you stay fairly calm when misbehavior occurs? Some Kids love to see their adult "jump" and respond. Lots of power there!
It depends. If it is grabbing a toy, yes but when he is violent I get angry especially when there is no provocation.Do you stay fairly calm when misbehavior occurs? Some Kids love to see their adult "jump" and respond. Lots of power there!
Originally Posted by :
Again, it's hard as I don't know specific issues.
Hopefully this helps!Again, it's hard as I don't know specific issues.
Ariana 10:34 AM 05-11-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Also, relationship is the base for everything. Relationships and connections are at the core for all humans.
Are you connecting daily? Kids thrive on connection. There should be lots of positive interaction....a high five, a pat on the back, conversation, smiles, etc.
Misbevaior is many times a bid for attention and attention seeking behavior shows itself in many ways and can be confusing . Without positive interaction kids will go for the negative! You have to have many more tools than mean face and stern voice.
Now I don't mean all day long and it needs to be "real". When we are are genuine with kids and are invested in them they thrive!
Do they get the feeling you like being around children, enjoy your day with them, are you filling their bucket or is their bucket empty? Children's cups are small and overflow quickly and then negative behavior happens.
Remember rules without relationship = rebellion!
Not to toot my own horn but I am awesome at what I do and kids love me! Sometimes it can backfire because they want continuous interaction with me and they want me to entertain them all the time. I have fun with them but then there is time where they need to play independantly. It is an expectation I have with all of my daycare kids, the centres where I have worked and my own children. Most kids get it after a while. Every child I have is part time so they are used to constant adult engagement. They have never learned to become players. By 4-5 kids should be "master players" but the children I am seeing are being sabotaged by adults and their play ideas. My goal is to get children thinking for themselves, coming up with play ideas by themselves instead of relying on adults to create the play scenario.Also, relationship is the base for everything. Relationships and connections are at the core for all humans.
Are you connecting daily? Kids thrive on connection. There should be lots of positive interaction....a high five, a pat on the back, conversation, smiles, etc.
Misbevaior is many times a bid for attention and attention seeking behavior shows itself in many ways and can be confusing . Without positive interaction kids will go for the negative! You have to have many more tools than mean face and stern voice.
Now I don't mean all day long and it needs to be "real". When we are are genuine with kids and are invested in them they thrive!
Do they get the feeling you like being around children, enjoy your day with them, are you filling their bucket or is their bucket empty? Children's cups are small and overflow quickly and then negative behavior happens.
Remember rules without relationship = rebellion!
With these particular children when they are not getting what they want, which is adult input, they demand it in the form of negative attention. The 17 month old has already improved and it is likely because of her age and her being on the cusp of her play development. This week she has not been needing negative attention at all which is great! I have been replacing the negative attention with positive attention with the 3 year old and have asked mom to do the same. This week was a bit better but at 2 days a week the parents have to adhere to the plan for it to work with me.
When a child makes the rules at home and the parent is not in charge it can create an anxious child. This child not only engages in negative attention seeking but feels that he has to tell me what to do regularly. He often comes to daycare in his pajamas for example because the mom was unable to get him dressed. I feel his anxiety also creates this behavior because he cannot relax and engage in the play materials around him. He is always looking at me, wandering around, in an anxious state. I can only surmise that this is from poor parenting where the parents do not gibe any discipline and then "blow up". I am not an expert though!