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Old 06-27-2019, 10:03 AM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: HI
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Default I Don't Know What to Do

I posted some time ago about my husband and his health issues. Well he has been hit with more, he just found out that he has a cancerous polyp and they need to surgically remove it, he will be sent in for blood work, ct scans to see if it has spread ect and the surgeon to talk about the surgery . I really feel like I need to go to the surgeon and talk with him with my husband, I mean we are beside ourselves right now and we are both scared and I think he needs support during that visit as well as I. I just know that now I will need to close for this surgery maybe a couple of weeks as we heard this is a major surgery, hospital stay is at least 4-5 days alone. That in itself may be hard for some of my families and may loose at least 2 but as sad as that would be my husband comes first. But I'm torn on whether or not I should close for the surgeon appt or if we should see if our daughter could go with him as she I think would be able to ask good questions in this time (she is 27). I am just so scared right now and scared for my husband, he has been through so much over the years.
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Old 06-27-2019, 10:46 AM
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Jodik Jodik is offline Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
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I would close for the appointment! Your daycare parents should understand that and if not, then you are better off without them. My parents are just going through this too and my mom needed to be at the appointment to hear from the doctor firsthand and to ask the questions that were worrying her. I wish you both the best as you go forward!
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:24 AM
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Josiegirl Josiegirl is offline Member
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I agree with the PP, you and your dh come first. You can certainly have your dd accompany the both of you but if I were you, I'd want to be there too.
Good luck with everything!!
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:34 AM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline Member
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Location: HI
Posts: 1,448

How would you word something to your parents without giving them too much information? I know eventually I will have to tell more but my husband especially isn't wanting anyone to know yet. We are praying that once he has the CT scan it will show that it hasn't spread and that the surgery will remove it. Thank you for the replies
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:12 PM
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Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline Member
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Maybe have your daughter sub for daycare so you can go to the appointment.

And hugs. I hope that all turns out well.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:17 PM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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Yes your daughter maybe can sub for the few hours while you are at the appointment.

I would just say that you have a DRs appointment and there was a last minute cancellation which is why the short notice. I have used that excuse before!

Good luck
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Old 06-27-2019, 01:01 PM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline Member
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Well my daughter works a full time job but within the hospital where my husband would be going, plus state regulations wouldn't allow anyone else to sit in. I would use that excuse but over the last year and a half I have had to close unexpectedly for him at least 5 times.
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Old 06-27-2019, 02:47 PM
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e.j. e.j. is offline Member
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I try to be honest without giving more info than I want to share..."I have an appointment that I have to be at on <date>. Because of the timing, I'll need to close for the day. Ordinarily, I try to book appointments around my day care hours but I wasn't able to do that this time. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you." If I were in your shoes, I'd also want to close and go with my husband. Good luck! I hope he gets better news than expected and that the cancer hasn't spread.
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Old 06-27-2019, 03:08 PM
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Baby Beluga Baby Beluga is offline Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,902

I am so sorry

I have to close for similar appointments sometimes. In my notice letter I usually state:

"(DC name) will be closed on Thursday June 27, 2019 due to a medical appointment that cannot be scheduled on the weekend. Tuition is not do for this day, please check your email for your pro-rated tuition amount. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. As always thank you for allowing me to care for your precious little ones."

I go into depth with parents during my interview that I try to schedule appointments after hours and on the weekend, but it's not always possible. That letter and the prior discussion usually wards of any questions from families. Usually
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Old 06-27-2019, 03:13 PM
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CountryRoads CountryRoads is online now Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: US of A
Posts: 670

I agree with everyone else! I would absolutely close.

I (usually) don't tell anyone why daycare is closed. It's nobody's business.

If it was something last minute, then I may just say I have an appointment and I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Hoping for good news!
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Old 06-28-2019, 08:22 AM
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knoxmomof2 knoxmomof2 is offline
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I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm hoping for good news from the scans!

I know it's hard to make this decision, but let me tell you a little story: 2 years ago, I had an ultrasound appointment for our 3rd child. I usually do Dr's appointments after hours (including prenatal appointments) and give at least a month's notice for any closings. I've closed with short notice twice in 6.5 years, both were due to the deaths of immediate family members.

For this ultrasound, I had 4 days' notice. I was seeing a midwife and she had to schedule it with her overseeing OB and I had to have the scan to make sure the placenta wasn't over my old c-section scar in order to be cleared for attempting a natural birth this time. So, it was vital that I have this and waiting / rescheduling wasn't an option.

I gave my families the option of bringing their child for a half day or keeping them home at no charge. 2 chose to take the day off, 1 chose the half day. I was also supposed to start a new child the day of the ultrasound. I didn't want to put them in a pinch or lose a new client, so I offered them the option of bringing the child with me as a last resort. That was the dumbest business decision I have ever made!!!!

Trying to entertain an unfamiliar 4 year old during my ultrasound, a moment my Husband and I should have had to ourselves, not to mention that only 2 people were allowed in at a time, so my 2 people were my Husband and this kid. My own 2 teens had to sit in the waiting room and miss out. (I didn't know before the appointment that we wouldn't all be allowed in together. I could cry thinking about what we all missed out on.....) To make it all worse, the kid only stayed 2 more weeks before Mom moved him to free preschool and tried to screw me out of the deposit (she didn't, but she tried.....) I was clearly just a place to drop her kid until she got approved for the Preschool program. Never again, never, never, never!!!! Will I accommodate a daycare family for something like this.

Go to the appointment if you feel you need to be there. Your daycare families could leave next week and where would that leave you in regards to your Husband's condition? Send your daughter if you feel she's capable of covering it and you're okay with it but don't do it because of business. I know finances matter, but the little bit of money I made for that day, or the 2 weeks he stayed, could never cover what we lost as a family. I still feel horrible that I screwed them out of a special moment with their baby sister, but it was definitely a teaching moment that I'll never forget.
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Old 06-28-2019, 09:26 AM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: HI
Posts: 1,448

I'm so sorry that's horrible the mom even took you up on that offer. I agree with you that family is first. I guess I just worry because I know my family is the most important thing ever but I also know that running a business where people have to make a living as well and I could jeopradize their jobs as well. I fear that knowing this is a major surgery no matter what the outcome is, I'm still going to need to close for my guess is at least 2 weeks within the next few weeks from the little information I've received on this type of surgery. I also don't want people to think I'm conveniently taking of July 3 to extend my already long weekend, but this was the soonest option they had for him and they said sooner the better so it's not really an option to wait for my next day off at the end of July. I'm going to write up a letter today.
Thank you
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Old 06-28-2019, 03:49 PM
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rosieteddy rosieteddy is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,273

Go to the appointment July 3rd.In the mean time could you find an approved assistant to cover the operation day?I personally would only take that day while he is hospitalized.Then as soon as DC ended each day I would go visit.The nurses and caregivers can care for him then.If your daughter is at the hospital maybe she can pop in and check on him.He can also text or call during the day.This job is hard to take time off.The parents need care and we need tuition.Its hard when things go arry.Good luck
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closing - short notice, closing daycare - procedure, closing due to illness

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