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Old 10-01-2013, 10:05 AM
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Default Is Reporting Her Reasonable?

Hello! I have two small children, ages 3 and 1, who I left with a woman, C, who is unlicensed and watches children in her home. The hours were... 3 hours on Monday and Wednesday, and two hours on Tuesday. That's it. I'm not going to talk about prices, because that's irrelevant. But she was getting paid a decent amount. Reason I bring that up, is because when I would ask if she could watch them a few hours extra, seeing as I was paying her for the DAY (6am to 6pm as stated in her contract), she would say no, I need to pay her extra for that, and taking free hours is 'screwing her over'.

Apparently, I pissed her off, because one day she texted me after I picked up the girls, saying she couldn't watch them anymore. She wouldn't give me a reason, and the next day, I get a phone call from CPS. Apparently, my daughters vagina had a 'severe, infected rash.' And I didn't have food in the house, so they're starving (also, C was supposed to provide all the food). Since I have nothing to hide, and my youngest had a slightly moderate diaper rash (normal, it had been there for TWO days, and we were *forced* to take her to the ER where the docs said it was normal, and it will probably happen frequently while she's in diapers...), I invited the lady over, and she saw they were fine. I called C to ask for our potty chair and money back (I had paid her two weeks in advanced, and she kept the money for the last two days). I asked if she reported me, she denied it and said she didn't believe in CPS, and then blocked me on Facebook and posted about how I kept starting drama. *eye roll* She ignored my texts and calls, and wouldn't give us the money when we stopped by her apartment. She also shut down her Care account.

So, my SO missed work, I missed a week of school trying to find a new babysitter, and I'm 99% sure she's the one that filed a false report against us (seeing as she is the ONLY one to change them, and the CPS caseworker knew about the rash). I'm thinking about reporting her. Does that sound reasonable, or just vengeful?
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Old 10-01-2013, 10:10 AM
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Vengeful.

This lady sounds like she has issues; do yourself a favor and move on.
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  #3  
Old 10-01-2013, 10:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCB View Post
Hello! I have two small children, ages 3 and 1, who I left with a woman, C, who is unlicensed and watches children in her home. The hours were... 3 hours on Monday and Wednesday, and two hours on Tuesday. That's it. I'm not going to talk about prices, because that's irrelevant. But she was getting paid a decent amount. Reason I bring that up, is because when I would ask if she could watch them a few hours extra, seeing as I was paying her for the DAY (6am to 6pm as stated in her contract), she would say no, I need to pay her extra for that, and taking free hours is 'screwing her over'.

Apparently, I pissed her off, because one day she texted me after I picked up the girls, saying she couldn't watch them anymore. She wouldn't give me a reason, and the next day, I get a phone call from CPS. Apparently, my daughters vagina had a 'severe, infected rash.' And I didn't have food in the house, so they're starving (also, C was supposed to provide all the food). Since I have nothing to hide, and my youngest had a slightly moderate diaper rash (normal, it had been there for TWO days, and we were *forced* to take her to the ER where the docs said it was normal, and it will probably happen frequently while she's in diapers...), I invited the lady over, and she saw they were fine. I called C to ask for our potty chair and money back (I had paid her two weeks in advanced, and she kept the money for the last two days). I asked if she reported me, she denied it and said she didn't believe in CPS, and then blocked me on Facebook and posted about how I kept starting drama. *eye roll* She ignored my texts and calls, and wouldn't give us the money when we stopped by her apartment. She also shut down her Care account.

So, my SO missed work, I missed a week of school trying to find a new babysitter, and I'm 99% sure she's the one that filed a false report against us (seeing as she is the ONLY one to change them, and the CPS caseworker knew about the rash). I'm thinking about reporting her. Does that sound reasonable, or just vengeful?
Honestly, it sounds vengeful.

I do NOT think she acted nicely or professionally if everything you said was true but if she was doing something worth reporting, you should have done that immediately not afterwards...know what I mean?

If I were you, I would consider hiring a lawyer if you feel any money is owed to you. I would also request that your local community service officer accompany you to retrieve your belongings if she is refusing to return them.

There are two sides to every story so I would probably chalk this one up as a learning experience and just move on. Other than getting your belongings back (and any money you feel is owed)

Any more contact with her directly isn't going to change things.
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Old 10-01-2013, 10:27 AM
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Report her to who? Licensing? CPS? I'm confused there. If she isn't licensed and is supposed to be I probably wouldn't have chosen her to begin with and going to licensing to report her now would be retaliatory and they won't take you seriously. If you want your money and possessions back than you'll probably need to go to court but without a contract and all the drama its her word against your's. Its also not her fault that your SO had to miss work, its your job to have backup care in case she was sick or unable to provide care. So really it's a potty chair and 2 days of care and probably NOT worth going to court over.
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Old 10-01-2013, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
Report her to who? Licensing? CPS? I'm confused there. If she isn't licensed and is supposed to be I probably wouldn't have chosen her to begin with and going to licensing to report her now would be retaliatory and they won't take you seriously. If you want your money and possessions back than you'll probably need to go to court but without a contract and all the drama its her word against your's. Its also not her fault that your SO had to miss work, its your job to have backup care in case she was sick or unable to provide care. So really it's a potty chair and 2 days of care and probably NOT worth going to court over.
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  #6  
Old 10-01-2013, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
Report her to who? Licensing? CPS? I'm confused there. If she isn't licensed and is supposed to be I probably wouldn't have chosen her to begin with and going to licensing to report her now would be retaliatory and they won't take you seriously. If you want your money and possessions back than you'll probably need to go to court but without a contract and all the drama its her word against your's. Its also not her fault that your SO had to miss work, its your job to have backup care in case she was sick or unable to provide care. So really it's a potty chair and 2 days of care and probably NOT worth going to court over.
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  #7  
Old 10-01-2013, 12:46 PM
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Unless I mis-read, I didn't read anywhere stating the provider was ILLEGALLY unlicensed.

OP simply said unlicensed. As far as I am aware, even legally unlicensed child care providers are subject to being reported to DHS.
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Old 10-01-2013, 08:09 PM
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Honestly, it sounds vengeful.

I do NOT think she acted nicely or professionally if everything you said was true but if she was doing something worth reporting, you should have done that immediately not afterwards...know what I mean?

If I were you, I would consider hiring a lawyer if you feel any money is owed to you. I would also request that your local community service officer accompany you to retrieve your belongings if she is refusing to return them.

There are two sides to every story so I would probably chalk this one up as a learning experience and just move on. Other than getting your belongings back (and any money you feel is owed)

Any more contact with her directly isn't going to change things.
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  #9  
Old 10-02-2013, 12:35 PM
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I would move on, especially if you "believe" she called cps on you. Say she is illegal you will merely inconvenience her at most.

You can call whoever you want, but remember she can also make your life miserable.

Often it's a disgruntled parent who reports. I've seen providers turn around and call all kinds of organizations on that parent, irs, their debt collectors etc. If both of you are doing everything by the book it still can backfire. I know one gal that sent a letter to a parents employer, anon of course. Usually they know who reports them, and you already "suspect" she called. Unfortunately people abuse the system on both sides.

I say chalk it up to a learning experience.
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Old 10-02-2013, 11:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Unless I mis-read, I didn't read anywhere stating the provider was ILLEGALLY unlicensed.

OP simply said unlicensed. As far as I am aware, even legally unlicensed child care providers are subject to being reported to DHS.
This is the 2nd time you've done this to me. I haven't written illegally unlicensed anywhere yet you keep saying this. I said "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... So she very well could be allowed to operate unlicensed. But in VA where the OP is, unlicensed home daycares aren't mandated by the state so who would she report to and for what?
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  #11  
Old 10-03-2013, 07:29 AM
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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
This is the 2nd time you've done this to me. I haven't written illegally unlicensed anywhere yet you keep saying this. I said "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... So she very well could be allowed to operate unlicensed. But in VA where the OP is, unlicensed home daycares aren't mandated by the state so who would she report to and for what?
Apparently, I used "incorrect terminology" when referring to your words/post... I'm sorry.

However, you did bring the subject up by saying "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... and my point was the OP NEVER said anything about the woman HAVING to be licensed or not.

THAT was MY point.

OP said she was unlicensed but she didn't say or imply that the provider was suppose to be licensed.

.....and like I said in my post, whether a provider is licensed or unlicensed, legal or illegal....they are still subject to being reported to DHS.
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  #12  
Old 10-03-2013, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
This is the 2nd time you've done this to me. I haven't written illegally unlicensed anywhere yet you keep saying this. I said "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... So she very well could be allowed to operate unlicensed. But in VA where the OP is, unlicensed home daycares aren't mandated by the state so who would she report to and for what?

Looks like in VA she can watch 5 children without being licensed, not a thing this parent can do. And besides they don't care about disagreements concerning money and hours.
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Old 10-03-2013, 08:43 AM
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If this helps clear anything up, and it very well may not because I could be completely & totally wrong, but I guess it won't hurt to add just in case-- When I read the OP I was confused, and still am, about what exactly she wanted to report her for. The OP, KatieCb, brought up several issues...issues of diaper rash, getting belongings/cash back from provider, the provider's pay & hours worked, CPS complaints made against her, etc. but unless I missed it or misunderstand, I don't get exactly what she was wanting to report her provider for. My thoughts were she was either asking should she report her for being unlicensed in general(and this is what I thought TwinKristi's pp on this was addressing), report her for the diaper rash, or report her with regard to getting her belongings and some of her money back(which if I understand correctly would be a civil issue and irrelevant anyway) or the hours vs pay problem she had with provider or about the CPS complaints; so, that's the way I read TwinKristi's post too, as I thought she & I were pretty much wondering the same thing because I was going to ask myself but then saw it had already been brought up.
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Old 10-03-2013, 09:01 AM
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If this helps clear anything up, and it very well may not because I could be completely & totally wrong, but I guess it won't hurt to add just in case-- When I read the OP I was confused, and still am, about what exactly she wanted to report her for. The OP, KatieCb, brought up several issues...issues of diaper rash, getting belongings/cash back from provider, the provider's pay & hours worked, CPS complaints made against her, etc. but unless I missed it or misunderstand, I don't get exactly what she was wanting to report her provider for. My thoughts were she was either asking should she report her for being unlicensed in general(and this is what I thought TwinKristi's pp on this was addressing), report her for the diaper rash, or report her with regard to getting her belongings and some of her money back(which if I understand correctly would be a civil issue and irrelevant anyway) or the hours vs pay problem she had with provider or about the CPS complaints; so, that's the way I read TwinKristi's post too, as I thought she & I were pretty much wondering the same thing because I was going to ask myself but then saw it had already been brought up.
yeah, text is tough to "read"... especially since so many states have so many different rules/regulations.

It's hard not to immediately apply what I personally know (about my state) to what someone else said....I certainly don't ever mean to offend anyone purposely.

Oh, well...it is what it is and OP (KatieCB) didn't come back and clarify anything she said so.....

Everyone was only trying to help.
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Old 10-03-2013, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
yeah, text is tough to "read"... especially since so many states have so many different rules/regulations.

It's hard not to immediately apply what I personally know (about my state) to what someone else said....I certainly don't ever mean to offend anyone purposely.

Oh, well...it is what it is and OP (KatieCB) didn't come back and clarify anything she said so.....

Everyone was only trying to help.

(Blackcat31 quote)"yeah, text is tough to "read" (end quote)

I'm lost......I have no idea what text you're talking about lol.


I thought the OP was asking if she should report her for the sole reason of her being unlicensed is what I was trying to say, not necessarily about different states and regulations if that makes sense. You are right, KatieCb never came back to clarify so.....that says enough for me.
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Old 10-03-2013, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by KatieCB View Post
Hello! I have two small children, ages 3 and 1, who I left with a woman, C, who is unlicensed and watches children in her home. The hours were... 3 hours on Monday and Wednesday, and two hours on Tuesday. That's it. I'm not going to talk about prices, because that's irrelevant. But she was getting paid a decent amount. Reason I bring that up, is because when I would ask if she could watch them a few hours extra, seeing as I was paying her for the DAY (6am to 6pm as stated in her contract), she would say no, I need to pay her extra for that, and taking free hours is 'screwing her over'.

Apparently, I pissed her off, because one day she texted me after I picked up the girls, saying she couldn't watch them anymore. She wouldn't give me a reason, and the next day, I get a phone call from CPS. Apparently, my daughters vagina had a 'severe, infected rash.' And I didn't have food in the house, so they're starving (also, C was supposed to provide all the food). Since I have nothing to hide, and my youngest had a slightly moderate diaper rash (normal, it had been there for TWO days, and we were *forced* to take her to the ER where the docs said it was normal, and it will probably happen frequently while she's in diapers...), I invited the lady over, and she saw they were fine. I called C to ask for our potty chair and money back (I had paid her two weeks in advanced, and she kept the money for the last two days). I asked if she reported me, she denied it and said she didn't believe in CPS, and then blocked me on Facebook and posted about how I kept starting drama. *eye roll* She ignored my texts and calls, and wouldn't give us the money when we stopped by her apartment. She also shut down her Care account.

So, my SO missed work, I missed a week of school trying to find a new babysitter, and I'm 99% sure she's the one that filed a false report against us (seeing as she is the ONLY one to change them, and the CPS caseworker knew about the rash). I'm thinking about reporting her. Does that sound reasonable, or just vengeful?
You must go by what the contract says. Check your contract to see if you have specific contracted hours (your contract lists the hours that your child will attend daycare). If it does then the provider is only contracted to care for your child during those hours for the amount that is specified in the contract.

If she contacted you and terminated the contract effective immediately you should also check the contract and check the termination policy. Is she supposed to give you a certain amount of time when she terminated care? If she was supposed to give you advance notice, like lets say a two-week notice, and she did not then she violated the contract and you could ask her for the days that you paid in advance from the date of termination forward.

As for being reported to CPS, unfortunately there isn't a way for you to prove that the provider reported you and she herself is denying it. If you had concrete evidence then you could file a police report for a false report and could possibly take her to court for any lost wages for yourself (but probably not for your SO, he would have to go after her himself but I would get legal advice on this).

As far as the money that was paid for future child care with her I would check the contract and see what the policy is for refunds for money paid in advance. If she canceled the contract with no notice when she was supposed to give you notice then you would be entitled to a refund. If she refused then you can take her to to small claims court for this amount as well.

If she is talking about you on social networks the only way that you would be able to do something was if her comments made it impossible for you to find new child care accommodations because other providers wouldn't take you because of what she said. You would have to prove it of course and then you would probably be able to sue her in small claims for defamation of character (if she was spreading lies) or perhaps for your own loss of wages if you had to stay home due to lack of child care etc. These are really hard cases to prove however and you have to show concrete proof that other daycares won't take you as a client because of what she has said. Usually people need actual witnesses to testify (not affidavits).

If she terminated care against what the contract says and you fail your classes due to her breaching the contract you could probably also sue her for the amount of the classes if you can prove that you couldn't catch up on your work, missed important exams etc. due to her suddenly terminating you which made you fail.

As far as reporting her, and I'm assuming that you mean reporting her to licensing, I must suggest that you do not. Licensing is there for serious cases about health and safety issues. If your child care provider is unlicensed but can operate like that legally (licence exempt) then there is nothing to report her over. Licensing does not get involved with money issues. If she is unlicensed and is doing so illegally then you could report that to licensing however just be aware that it makes you seem like you are doing so out of spite considering that you knew she was unlicensed and chose her anyway.

As far as everything that you stated so far ... it seems like your complaints are stemmed from time and money issues, not safety and health issues ... and like I said before licensing does not regulate the money aspect of child care ... the courts are in place for that.
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Old 10-05-2013, 01:29 PM
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The email Saying I had responses went straight to my junk folder, and its unfortunate that you assumed anything from my lack of response. I was referring to her unprofessional and irresponsible conduct. But I got my answers, so thank you all
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Old 10-05-2013, 04:03 PM
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The email Saying I had responses went straight to my junk folder, and its unfortunate that you assumed anything from my lack of response. I was referring to her unprofessional and irresponsible conduct. But I got my answers, so thank you all
Thanks for checking in and responding.
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