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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Tired, Bratty Child
delferka 08:54 AM 01-09-2013
I have parents that say their 2.5 year old boy won't go to bed until they do. 11pm!!! They bring him to me a tired, bratty basket case. I don't know what to say to these people! Any advise??
Play Care 09:09 AM 01-09-2013
Are they saying what the exact problem is? Is it that he can't go to sleep or he just refuses to go to bed until they do? Are they trying to hint that he doesn't need a nap? I've learned that I can't really change what a parent does/allows in their home, but I can alter my schedule (to an extent) to make my days better. I would put the child down for a half hour as soon as he got here. Then wake for breakfast, and go about the day (including normal nap time) to see if that helped. I would make it clear to parents that if this doesn't help then maybe we are not a good fit.
blandino 09:10 AM 01-09-2013
In our Contract under illnesses, we have something along the lines of "please do not bring your child unless they have had adequate sleep. Children who haven't had adequate sleep are highly emotional, and disrupt the flow of our day". We also have at the end of the illness section that a child shouldn't come to daycare unless they are able to participate in our day. Which I think covers overly tired and cranky children. So you could just emphasize the "able to participate" part.
Blackcat31 09:11 AM 01-09-2013
Since we have no control over what happens at home, your only options are to require the child to be well enough (emotionally, mentally and physically) to participate in your normal daily activities.
If he is unable to due to lack of sleep and causes issues for you and the level of care you give the other kids you have in care, I would call the parents and ask that they pick up their child.
I would say to them that it may be due to lack of sleep, the beginning of an illness or something else but since you don't know for sure, he needs to go home until he can participate normally.
After having to pick up due to bad behavior a couple times, you'd think the parents would catch on and start insisting the child go to bed at a decent hour. They can't make him sleep but they can surely set up the environment to allow him to get some good quality sleep.
Lack of sleep effects ALL other areas of growth and development.
If he is unable to due to lack of sleep and causes issues for you and the level of care you give the other kids you have in care, I would call the parents and ask that they pick up their child.
I would say to them that it may be due to lack of sleep, the beginning of an illness or something else but since you don't know for sure, he needs to go home until he can participate normally.
After having to pick up due to bad behavior a couple times, you'd think the parents would catch on and start insisting the child go to bed at a decent hour. They can't make him sleep but they can surely set up the environment to allow him to get some good quality sleep.
Lack of sleep effects ALL other areas of growth and development.
delferka 09:15 AM 01-09-2013
The 2 year old runs the house and screams until they let him stay up. I have a friend that has been to their house and says the boy is still running around at 10:30 at night. The father says " I had to drag him out of bed today"! No kidding I wonder why!
Country Kids 09:27 AM 01-09-2013
I have no solution but going through the same thing. 3 yes three of mine have been staying up till 10 or so (being put to bed between 7:00-8:00 but playing/talking/singing/etc) and then some of them are waking up between 3 and 5 in the morning ready to go! Not having much behavior issues but you can see how tired they are.
By naptime they are exhausted but only sleeping sometimes an hour before waking up. These children are going on hardly any sleep at all.
By naptime they are exhausted but only sleeping sometimes an hour before waking up. These children are going on hardly any sleep at all.
delferka 09:33 AM 01-09-2013
This child would go to sleep at 8 if his parents went to bed at this time. They say if they put him to bed at 8 he screams and gets up. What do they care. They just throw him at me in the morning. Lucky me
Blackcat31 09:45 AM 01-09-2013
Originally Posted by delferka:
This child would go to sleep at 8 if his parents went to bed at this time. They say if they put him to bed at 8 he screams and gets up. What do they care. They just throw him at me in the morning. Lucky me
Things are only YOUR problem if YOU allow them to be. This child would go to sleep at 8 if his parents went to bed at this time. They say if they put him to bed at 8 he screams and gets up. What do they care. They just throw him at me in the morning. Lucky me
Sugar Magnolia 10:09 AM 01-09-2013
Agree with Blackcat.
Is not the child's fault however, so maybe you should be calling the parents "bratty", not the child. Sorry, nothing personal, just bothers me to see words like that used about a child on a public forum.
Is not the child's fault however, so maybe you should be calling the parents "bratty", not the child. Sorry, nothing personal, just bothers me to see words like that used about a child on a public forum.
delferka 10:39 AM 01-09-2013
Okay, tired child, bratty parents..I'm sorry, I'm in the heat of it and at wits end. Maybe you are lucky enough to have never been in this situation.?
daycare 10:49 AM 01-09-2013
Originally Posted by delferka:
Okay, tired child, bratty parents..I'm sorry, I'm in the heat of it and at wits end. Maybe you are lucky enough to have never been in this situation.?
I have co-slept with all of my children. My youngest who is now 5 still gets into bed with me nightly.Okay, tired child, bratty parents..I'm sorry, I'm in the heat of it and at wits end. Maybe you are lucky enough to have never been in this situation.?
He used to be just like this where I had to lay him to bed and stay until he feel asleep. As soon as I would get up, he would wake. Sounds crazy, but I started going to bed at 8 and staying in bed. If I didn't then it was you know what in the morning. Same experience that you are having. HE L L......
Once he was asleep, I would turn over and play on my ipad. He wanted to feel a warm body next to him. He did this for about 3.5 years. But I created the monster so I dealt with it. In your case the parents dont have to deal with it becuase they dump the kid on you....
All that i Have to say is listen to these seasoned vet Providers.... Blackcat has GREAT advise. do not let them dump their problem on you, turn it around and make it their problem. The only way to do this is to keep sending him home when he can't participate because he's too tired...
wdmmom 10:54 AM 01-09-2013
Put him down upon arrival for a morning nap. Clearly he's suffering from a lack of sleep and can't function. Just put him to bed. It may take awhile to get him acclimated and he may cry but at least it won't be in the same room you are in.
If after a month you can't get him on track, I would consider advertising and finding a new, more responsible family to enroll.
If after a month you can't get him on track, I would consider advertising and finding a new, more responsible family to enroll.
LK5kids 11:04 AM 01-09-2013
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
Put him down upon arrival for a morning nap. Clearly he's suffering from a lack of sleep and can't function. Just put him to bed. It may take awhile to get him acclimated and he may cry but at least it won't be in the same room you are in.
If after a month you can't get him on track, I would consider advertising and finding a new, more responsible family to enroll.
Agree! Sleep deprivation is mood Altering and it's impossible for kids to function without adequate sleep. Research Mary Sheedy-Kurchinka (last name not spelled quite right). She has written lots on sleep issues in kids and her book Sleepless in America is great. She states a child this age needs about twelve hours of sleep - naps included. I would tell the parents he is unable to function.Put him down upon arrival for a morning nap. Clearly he's suffering from a lack of sleep and can't function. Just put him to bed. It may take awhile to get him acclimated and he may cry but at least it won't be in the same room you are in.
If after a month you can't get him on track, I would consider advertising and finding a new, more responsible family to enroll.
daycare 11:06 AM 01-09-2013
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
Put him down upon arrival for a morning nap. Clearly he's suffering from a lack of sleep and can't function. Just put him to bed. It may take awhile to get him acclimated and he may cry but at least it won't be in the same room you are in.
If after a month you can't get him on track, I would consider advertising and finding a new, more responsible family to enroll.
this is a good idea too. I did it in the past, but sometimes it did not work with every child. I would still give it a shot if you can.Put him down upon arrival for a morning nap. Clearly he's suffering from a lack of sleep and can't function. Just put him to bed. It may take awhile to get him acclimated and he may cry but at least it won't be in the same room you are in.
If after a month you can't get him on track, I would consider advertising and finding a new, more responsible family to enroll.
One kid that I had that I tried this with, was so tired that he would sleep for 4+ hours and then be up during nap time disrupting all of the kids. If I tired to wake him after sleeping about an hour or two, he would go in to freak out mode.
However, it has worked well with other kids
daycarediva 12:21 PM 01-09-2013
I would tell the parents that his overtiredness is causing dcb (and hit the point HARD that it is affecting DCB, because it IS) he is tired, cranky, miserable, etc. List specific behaviors that you don't otherwise see when dcb is rested, that sort of thing. daycare is right, they don't see a problem, because for THEM, it isn't. They aren't dealing with dcb when he is exhausted, and on the weekends they probably enjoy it because they allow dcb to sleep in. Ask what YOU can do to HELP them so that dcb has better mornings. Ask if you could put dcb down for an AM nap, even 30 minutes might rest him up enough to make it to PM nap.
Meyou 01:42 PM 01-09-2013
I would put him back to bed in the morning every time he displayed behavior that told me he was overtired. I do this anyway once in a while after a busy weekend with some of the older kids.
Heidi 03:38 PM 01-09-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would tell the parents that his overtiredness is causing dcb (and hit the point HARD that it is affecting DCB, because it IS) he is tired, cranky, miserable, etc. List specific behaviors that you don't otherwise see when dcb is rested, that sort of thing. daycare is right, they don't see a problem, because for THEM, it isn't. They aren't dealing with dcb when he is exhausted, and on the weekends they probably enjoy it because they allow dcb to sleep in. Ask what YOU can do to HELP them so that dcb has better mornings. Ask if you could put dcb down for an AM nap, even 30 minutes might rest him up enough to make it to PM nap.
I don't think she should ASK them to put him down for a nap right away, I would TELL them that it's going to happen. He needs more sleep-they are not making sure he gets enough. No asking about it, either they get him to bed earlier, or he gets a nap at arrival. I would tell the parents that his overtiredness is causing dcb (and hit the point HARD that it is affecting DCB, because it IS) he is tired, cranky, miserable, etc. List specific behaviors that you don't otherwise see when dcb is rested, that sort of thing. daycare is right, they don't see a problem, because for THEM, it isn't. They aren't dealing with dcb when he is exhausted, and on the weekends they probably enjoy it because they allow dcb to sleep in. Ask what YOU can do to HELP them so that dcb has better mornings. Ask if you could put dcb down for an AM nap, even 30 minutes might rest him up enough to make it to PM nap.
Of course, in 2-3 years when he gets to kindy, it'll still be a problem, and there is no nap room at school.
daycare 03:46 PM 01-09-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
I don't think she should ASK them to put him down for a nap right away, I would TELL them that it's going to happen. He needs more sleep-they are not making sure he gets enough. No asking about it, either they get him to bed earlier, or he gets a nap at arrival.
Of course, in 2-3 years when he gets to kindy, it'll still be a problem, and there is no nap room at school.
yea I would not ask the parent if I could do this...I do what works for me, just like they do what works for them...I don't think she should ASK them to put him down for a nap right away, I would TELL them that it's going to happen. He needs more sleep-they are not making sure he gets enough. No asking about it, either they get him to bed earlier, or he gets a nap at arrival.
Of course, in 2-3 years when he gets to kindy, it'll still be a problem, and there is no nap room at school.
daycarediva 04:52 PM 01-09-2013
Well, I would ASK, or ENFORCE that they come get him because he is unable to participate. 