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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Help with Reply to Prospective Parents
Unregistered 02:31 PM 06-20-2014
I don't think in my 8 years of home daycare I've ever chosen NOT to enroll a child strictly because of the parents. However, I am currently in that position. I have a full time spot open and wanting to fill it. I had a very lovely email session with a mom and she seemed to be a good fit. That is - until she came for a visit. She brought her son and husband and I was totally unprepared to deal with the dad. He had 8 pages of questions - 90% of the answers could have been found on my website or in the handbook I emailed them. The meet went for over 90 minutes and he seemed to talk over me the whole time. The next day the mom sent me another lovely email thanking me for my time and apologizing for her very OCD (her words) husband. She asked for references and thinking maybe I had judged them unfairly did provide 3 references. Well all 3 people I gave have since some to me and said how arrogant and rude the dad was. Today I got an email from mom saying they love my daycare, found my references to be outstanding and want to come by his weekend to leave a deposit. Oh heck no !! I should've trusted my gut instinct. Now I need to compose an I'm sorry email. I would just say I already found someone but since I plan to re-advertise on the sight they found me I don't want to lie. Can someone help me with a short, to the point email that won't offend but gets me out of this ??thank you !!
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Unregistered 02:54 PM 06-20-2014
I would just let her know they are not a good fit for your daycare. You don't need to go into specifics. Be done with it and move on.
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CraftyMom 02:57 PM 06-20-2014
I would just say Thank you for interest, but it seems we may not be a good fit for each other.
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AmyKidsCo 03:00 PM 06-20-2014
Ditto the above. Thank you for your interest but I don't think my program is a good fit for you. Good luck!
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NightOwl 03:22 PM 06-20-2014
Agreed. Short and sweet.
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daycare 03:32 PM 06-20-2014
I hate this when this happens.

Just be honest. The DCM knows her husband is a lot to handle based off her OCD comment.

I would say, I really want to thank you for your interest in our program. I am still conducting other interviews for this last full time spot and will let you know by XXX date if your family has been chosen for the spot.

Thank you again for stopping by and checking out our program, we will be in touch soon.

Then you can say, that the other family was a better fit. You will fill it fast, don't worry.

Yes follow your gut
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Meeko 04:27 PM 06-20-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I hate this when this happens.

Just be honest. The DCM knows her husband is a lot to handle based off her OCD comment.

I would say, I really want to thank you for your interest in our program. I am still conducting other interviews for this last full time spot and will let you know by XXX date if your family has been chosen for the spot.

Thank you again for stopping by and checking out our program, we will be in touch soon.

Then you can say, that the other family was a better fit. You will fill it fast, don't worry.

Yes follow your gut


This is what I do too. It's a very easy way to say NO without having them take offense.
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nannyde 04:29 PM 06-20-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I hate this when this happens.

Just be honest. The DCM knows her husband is a lot to handle based off her OCD comment.

I would say, I really want to thank you for your interest in our program. I am still conducting other interviews for this last full time spot and will let you know by XXX date if your family has been chosen for the spot.

Thank you again for stopping by and checking out our program, we will be in touch soon.

Then you can say, that the other family was a better fit. You will fill it fast, don't worry.

Yes follow your gut
Excellent
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craftymissbeth 06:15 PM 06-20-2014
I think I just had a bad day or something, but I would DESPERATELY want to tell dcm exactly why they're not a good fit. Goodness, he offended your references... I'd be upset that he could potentially make my references not want to BE references anymore, kwim?

In the end, I probably would be too chicken and I'd simply sit by myself with my raged filled thoughts. But I'd WANT to tell them
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NightOwl 06:43 PM 06-20-2014
How about this, if you go the route of being totally honest:

Dear dcm,

I have chosen not to enroll your child in my program due to the overbearing nature that your husband displayed. The way in which he presented himself seemed to be a precursor of issues to come. Good luck in your search for a provider who will better fit your needs. It was so lovely to meet you!

But I'm really thinking.... What if he's just quirky at first? Was it truly that awkward? I'm only asking because my husband is bald and has full sleeve tattooes (appears very intimidating), and he also has OCD. At first glance, he would probably frighten a lot of people away, but he's actually fantastic with kids and loves playing with them after work. And the kids are drawn to him also. So are you positive your not judging the book by its cover?
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DaisyMamma 04:02 AM 06-21-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
How about this, if you go the route of being totally honest:

Dear dcm,

I have chosen not to enroll your child in my program due to the overbearing nature that your husband displayed. The way in which he presented himself seemed to be a precursor of issues to come. Good luck in your search for a provider who will better fit your needs. It was so lovely to meet you!

But I'm really thinking.... What if he's just quirky at first? Was it truly that awkward? I'm only asking because my husband is bald and has full sleeve tattooes (appears very intimidating), and he also has OCD. At first glance, he would probably frighten a lot of people away, but he's actually fantastic with kids and loves playing with them after work. And the kids are drawn to him also. So are you positive your not judging the book by its cover?
It sounds like OP did give him the benefit of the doubt and offered references, to which he managed to insult ALL THREE!
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NightOwl 08:48 AM 06-21-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
It sounds like OP did give him the benefit of the doubt and offered references, to which he managed to insult ALL THREE!
True that, Daisy! I'd just go with the rejection letter then. I actually like daycare's a lot!
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Tags:bad fit, red flare
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