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Miss A 02:22 PM 05-14-2018
Sorry, one more post and I'll be finished for the day!

My DH's good friend and his wife had a baby almost 3 months ago, and in a couple weeks baby will be here full time. Late last week DCM found out that the position she was supposed to return to is not open yet as her boss decided to delay their retirement. So, DCM will be required to work a late shift or two each week.

Because this family is close to ours, I offered to consider accommodating this need for the family. I do not yet have all the details, as I am meeting with DCM later this week. But before I sit down with her, I want to have an addendum to my contract prepared, and an idea of a specalized rate for this.

I want to be very clear with DCM that after 5:00pm on the nights baby is here for extended care, I am not still running my daycare program but baby will be included in nightly family activities. I will have a signed permission slip for transportation as well.

What are some things you would put in this addendum? I do not want to reach a point where I feel taken advantage of, so I want to make it worth my time while also being considerate of my friends needs.
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Jupadia 03:37 PM 05-14-2018
I use to have one child that came a couple Saturdays a month. I covered pretty much what you have said. That care given after such or on weekend was considered family time. That the child would not be in the daycare space during these hours but in the whole house. I also included permission to transport.
For you since its temporary I would include an end date for the after hours care.
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Blackcat31 07:06 AM 05-15-2018
Originally Posted by Miss A:
Sorry, one more post and I'll be finished for the day!

My DH's good friend and his wife had a baby almost 3 months ago, and in a couple weeks baby will be here full time. Late last week DCM found out that the position she was supposed to return to is not open yet as her boss decided to delay their retirement. So, DCM will be required to work a late shift or two each week.

Because this family is close to ours, I offered to consider accommodating this need for the family. I do not yet have all the details, as I am meeting with DCM later this week. But before I sit down with her, I want to have an addendum to my contract prepared, and an idea of a specalized rate for this.

I want to be very clear with DCM that after 5:00pm on the nights baby is here for extended care, I am not still running my daycare program but baby will be included in nightly family activities. I will have a signed permission slip for transportation as well.

What are some things you would put in this addendum? I do not want to reach a point where I feel taken advantage of, so I want to make it worth my time while also being considerate of my friends needs.
Is the DCD also having to work extended hours? If not, why is he not picking up?

Honestly, I wouldn't agree to do extended hours

I am one of the most blunt, full of backbone providers I know and I wouldn't agree to doing this. It just never works out. A minute here and a minute there and pretty soon, you are resentful and taken advantage of a minute at a time. By the time you realize it, it'll be beyond hard to get out of it.

Being close (your family and their family) always gives the false sense of "you won't mind" or "but you just love baby so it's no big deal", "you're just like family"....ALL of which are code for "It's not going to end well"

It's MUCH easier to keep yourself from falling into a hole than it is to dig yourself out after the fact.

Does the family have any family and/or friends in the area that can help instead?
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amberrose3dg 07:16 AM 05-15-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Is the DCD also having to work extended hours? If not, why is he not picking up?

Honestly, I wouldn't agree to do extended hours

I am one of the most blunt, full of backbone providers I know and I wouldn't agree to doing this. It just never works out. A minute here and a minute there and pretty soon, you are resentful and taken advantage of a minute at a time. By the time you realize it, it'll be beyond hard to get out of it.

Being close (your family and their family) always gives the false sense of "you won't mind" or "but you just love baby so it's no big deal", "you're just like family"....ALL of which are code for "It's not going to end well"

It's MUCH easier to keep yourself from falling into a hole than it is to dig yourself out after the fact.

Does the family have any family and/or friends in the area that can help instead?

I agree with this as well. Being friends could also cause major problems and even ruin your friendship. You say that now you are fine keeping this baby extra hours but that may change soon. The baby could be hard to deal with and very mentally draining.They go through stages and you could be counting down the minutes until the baby leaves. I would be asking for the dad to pick up those days. I have turned away families that one parent refused to pick up on days the default parent wasn't available. I am not staying open late unless it is like a major emergency and even then I am getting compensated well.
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Miss A 07:17 AM 05-15-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Is the DCD also having to work extended hours? If not, why is he not picking up?

Honestly, I wouldn't agree to do extended hours

I am one of the most blunt, full of backbone providers I know and I wouldn't agree to doing this. It just never works out. A minute here and a minute there and pretty soon, you are resentful and taken advantage of a minute at a time. By the time you realize it, it'll be beyond hard to get out of it.

Being close (your family and their family) always gives the false sense of "you won't mind" or "but you just love baby so it's no big deal", "you're just like family"....ALL of which are code for "It's not going to end well"

It's MUCH easier to keep yourself from falling into a hole than it is to dig yourself out after the fact.

Does the family have any family and/or friends in the area that can help instead?
DCD and his dad run the family farm, so he can't always be available to pick up the baby.

DCM and I chatted last night, and she was able to get both grandma's to agree to cover her night shifts for her. One arranged her work schedule so that she is off the first of DCM's 2 night shifts, and one will pick up baby after work and before I close and keep baby until DCM is off work.

Honestly, I am so glad they covered their own bases. Even though it would have been temporary, I can say that it is a relief they are showing they can secure reliable back-up care.
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amberrose3dg 07:18 AM 05-15-2018
Originally Posted by Miss A:
DCD and his dad run the family farm, so he can't always be available to pick up the baby.

DCM and I chatted last night, and she was able to get both grandma's to agree to cover her night shifts for her. One arranged her work schedule so that she is off the first of DCM's 2 night shifts, and one will pick up baby after work and before I close and keep baby until DCM is off work.

Honestly, I am so glad they covered their own bases. Even though it would have been temporary, I can say that it is a relief they are showing they can secure reliable back-up care.

There you go. Glad that worked out. I am sure you are already working 10+ hours and do not need to add on to that added stress.
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Blackcat31 07:42 AM 05-15-2018
Originally Posted by Miss A:
DCD and his dad run the family farm, so he can't always be available to pick up the baby.

DCM and I chatted last night, and she was able to get both grandma's to agree to cover her night shifts for her. One arranged her work schedule so that she is off the first of DCM's 2 night shifts, and one will pick up baby after work and before I close and keep baby until DCM is off work.

Honestly, I am so glad they covered their own bases. Even though it would have been temporary, I can say that it is a relief they are showing they can secure reliable back-up care.
Oh good! That is awesome!!

It's hard to mix family/friends.

It's ideal in theory but rarely in real life so glad it worked out the way it did!

I think everyone will be much happier.
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