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  #1  
Old 08-27-2007, 12:22 AM
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Angry Biting @ Daycare

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?
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  #2  
Old 08-27-2007, 12:26 AM
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Exclamation Biting for what Reason?

Here is a piece that I found on the internet for why children bite:

It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

Here is one course of action that is effective with children under three. One teacher is assigned to "shadow" the biter. If one teacher is with that child constantly, it is very often possible to restrain the biter when you see him/her getting ready to bite. Then you repeat the rule -"We do not bite. We use words." (If the child has no words, you can say them yourself. "I know you're angry because you can't use that toy right now, right? But you cannot bite for ANY reason.")

Then you can remove the child from the situation if it is warranted. Sometimes, if you've stopped the bite before it's occurred, the child can continue to play.
Now, this works only if the child is watched CONSTANTLY, which is a very difficult task. It's best to have teachers take turns being the shadow. If you have the luxury of enough teachers, however, this is an effective method of helping a biter to stop biting and start talking.

Last edited by Michael; 08-27-2007 at 12:29 AM.
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  #3  
Old 08-27-2007, 12:37 AM
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Lightbulb he or she may be expelled

If reasonable efforts have been made and the child continues to bite and hit children or staff, I believe that he or she may be expelled from the daycare. The staff should first try to work with the parents to see if there are reasonable ways of curbing the behavior. Each situation must be considered individually.
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  #4  
Old 08-28-2007, 11:27 AM
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same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.
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  #5  
Old 08-28-2007, 02:53 PM
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Children in daycare are too be watched at all times. Of course they can do something about it. They can watch the child and when he/she starts too bite another child, they should remove the biter from the area and explain that he/she can not bite....period. If that doesn't work after a few days, the child should be removed for the other children in care too be safe. I would also ask too speak too the parents of that child, if mine was on the other end of those bites.
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  #6  
Old 12-20-2010, 11:47 AM
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Children in daycare are too be watched at all times. Of course they can do something about it. They can watch the child and when he/she starts too bite another child, they should remove the biter from the area and explain that he/she can not bite....period. If that doesn't work after a few days, the child should be removed for the other children in care too be safe. I would also ask too speak too the parents of that child, if mine was on the other end of those bites.

yes, kids should be watched at all times.
yes, we can try to intervene on another child's behalf.

let me ask you a question... do you work at a daycare? just curious. sometimes those who do not work there do not understand what we deal with on a daily basis. When one child bites or acts up, the others soon follow. It would be nice to say that we could be perfect and swoop down like superwoman and intervene every time something happens or is about to happen. It doesn't work that way. we do our best to take care of the situation such as removing each child from the situation (that's a whole lotta fun too especially when you are also the one who is bitten- talk about your "on the job hazards"!) and telling the child who was bitten to not bite and that hurts. We console and hug the child who was bitten and do our best to keep them apart for the rest of the 6 hours that we are there at work. Please remember that we often have up to 10 kids or more in each room and it is physically impossible to be everywhere at once. Often daycares are short staffed and we don't have a lot of people to cover each area of the rooms in the daycare.
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  #7  
Old 04-06-2011, 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by HRH View Post
same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.
We cant controll the biting case among all the children. And predict what going to happen next. We may not know who is in fault. It is because children tend to bite someone when they get frustrated with that someone. Its confidential for a childcare to let out a child's profile.
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  #8  
Old 09-13-2012, 03:38 PM
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same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.

It's illegal to tell parents who is the biter. Just so you know. But the children could be sent home after 3 bites in one day. They could have incident reports put in their file for each one and when they hit 10 in one month have a conference. If it happens 10 times a second month they're expelled. Most schools would rather loose one aggressive kid then 5 kids whose parents got fed up with nothing being done about that child.
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  #9  
Old 12-20-2012, 06:14 PM
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It's illegal to tell parents who is the biter. Just so you know. But the children could be sent home after 3 bites in one day. They could have incident reports put in their file for each one and when they hit 10 in one month have a conference. If it happens 10 times a second month they're expelled. Most schools would rather loose one aggressive kid then 5 kids whose parents got fed up with nothing being done about that child.
I'd find new child care after the 2nd bite! And at my 'center' after the 3rd bite offender gets terminated. But after 1 bite the biter gets glued to my hip, so a 2nd bite has never happened. When they see dang a bite I become miss teachers new shadow. He doesn't get to play with what or where or who he wants too. Pretty much sucks.
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  #10  
Old 10-02-2007, 07:18 PM
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Angry My kids a victim too

I don't get whay day care's keep around these aggresive children. In a matter of one weeks time my daughter has been bit 2X by the same 3 year old bully. This Bully is hitting and pinching the teacher, tackled antoher student and was pulled off just before biting. The school made me feel as if it was Okay because the other child has been with the day care longer and her mother pays more money for her to be there. Can I go through the state to fix this problem since the school seem to want to sweep it under the rug?
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  #11  
Old 10-02-2007, 08:40 PM
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Exclamation Unruly Children that Bite and Hit Others

It is up to the daycare to separate the untruly child. I would think that after the third incident that the daycare has the right to remove the child from the class. You might want to check with your state's regulations at:

http://daycare.com/states.html
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  #12  
Old 10-04-2007, 11:28 AM
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I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.
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  #13  
Old 10-25-2007, 12:59 PM
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Default My child is a biter and I am at wits end

I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. He is disciplined at school with time outs and we also discipline at home when he bites at school. My son does not just go around biting children; he bites in times of conflict with another child. We are working with him to use his words and talk to the daycare workers when conflicts occur, but we must also remember that it is harder for some children to master self-control and using words in times of frustration. I know that parents of the biter feel terrible about it and we are parents just like you wanting our children to learn appropriate ways of playing with other children. I work and so does my husband, my child should not be kicked out of daycare. We should instead work together with constant reminders and praise of positive behaviors, time-outs when biting occurs and increased supervision during times of close free play with other children. Especially if it particularly one child who is being bitten. My child has not bitten as much as some of the stories you have mentioned, just having some difficulty with one child in particular during playtime and it has happened 5 times in the past month. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.
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  #14  
Old 10-25-2007, 01:19 PM
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Wink Biting In Daycare

Well said. It happens in all Daycare. Many parents of bitten children think that the biting child or the parent has a problem in the home. Children who can not, or are too young, to express themselves, do so by biting. This is normal. They are in a new environment which can be both frustrating and make a child anxious. It is important at that time to make sure the provider takes the time to adjust the child in expressing themselves more effectively. Limited separation is fine. Expelling a child should used only be a last resort. Understanding is what is needed.

Last edited by Michael; 10-25-2007 at 01:22 PM.
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  #15  
Old 02-22-2011, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.
This was well said. My child became mobile at a very young age and would take toys from the kids that couldn't move Daycare's fix was to move him in with older kids that had the same skill set. He has moved room early every time. Unfortunately the big kids push him around. He may be on the same physical level but not the same verbal and emotional and so out of frustration he began fighting and biting. He only started biting after another kid started biting him. He does not bite or hit at home so we can not punish him for it and at 15 months he is too young to punish hours after an incident. So as a parent whose kid has become the trouble kid you might want to look speak to the parents before you blame
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  #16  
Old 06-20-2011, 09:53 AM
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Default I Agree!!!

I completely agree with this poster. My three year old is truly such a kind, sensitive and loving little person. He is in no way aggressive. However, at times of frustration or being provoked he does tend to bite instead of using his words or telling his teacher. No matter how many talks, time outs, etc. Nothing seems to work in him remembering what to do in that moment. Impulse seems to take over. I know he will eventually grow out of it, but at present it's very frustrating.
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  #17  
Old 05-07-2012, 11:05 PM
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First of all, I would like to recognize the parents of children who bite. It is such a job (an awesome job) to teach and nurture our children! The issue of biting is definitely a touchy subject for parents, including this one! I am a speech-language pathologists and I work in a pediatric private practice. I have a son who will be two years old in July. He has been the victim of a girl (one month older) in a home day care setting. She began biting him approximately when teething began (9-12 months ago). She is an excellent communicator! She is able to talk in sentences, ask "wh" questions appropriately, great articulation, etc.. Therefore, a "frustration" due to lack of ability to communicate DOES NOT relate to this little one. She is the granddaughter of my sitter (her son is the father). I feel very confident that she is disciplined post biting. However, I have never been confronted or offered an adult apology from the mother and father that I see almost daily. I feel that it is somewhat overlooked by the parents as they cannot even acknowledge the harmful behavior and physical harm their child has inflicted. However, I am also confident that if roles were reversed that this mother would react 100% different. Her child's bites have continuously gotten worse! I feel that I could pretty much make a molar of this child's teeth strictly by the impressions she leaves on my child. My child has never been aggressive even with retaliating and i have made it a point o task the caregiver of such behaviors. I work with several child with autism and I have been bitten, scratched, kicked, pinched, punched, etc... HOWEVER, I know that these little ones are truly frustrated with their difficulty in communicating with others! I understand that biting is a common and complicated issue but sometimes parents need to take responsibility (even if that just means acknowledging the situation). I almost get the feeling that parents of biters play a victim role. The victims are the children at the other end of your child's teeth forcefully clinching to their frail, precious skin! Some parents need a role reversal and imaging their child as the "bitee". What if they picked up there little one and to continuously see bite marks in their precious baby's skin??? We leave our babies with those that we trust and among any one else our babies trust their parents!! It saddens me to know that mine has to "accept" that he will go to a place (because his mommy takes him there and so it must be safe) and to "accept " to be physically harmed because.... EXCUSE, EXCUSE, EXCUSE!!!!!!!!! At a nursing home when patients with dementia become combative their are often medicated, closely monitored, and/or discharged to a hospital. It the best case they are referred to rehab to assist in appropriately controlling behaviors. It is known that individuals with dementia "age backwards". That is like an 80 YO acting as a 2 YO. Most of of would not be okay if our 80 YO mother was consistently bitten by her 80 YO roommate in any facility!
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Old 12-20-2012, 05:15 PM
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Thumbs down Biters at daycare

5 times is too many times to bite someone else's child. He should be put out and you should your discipline!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. He is disciplined at school with time outs and we also discipline at home when he bites at school. My son does not just go around biting children; he bites in times of conflict with another child. We are working with him to use his words and talk to the daycare workers when conflicts occur, but we must also remember that it is harder for some children to master self-control and using words in times of frustration. I know that parents of the biter feel terrible about it and we are parents just like you wanting our children to learn appropriate ways of playing with other children. I work and so does my husband, my child should not be kicked out of daycare. We should instead work together with constant reminders and praise of positive behaviors, time-outs when biting occurs and increased supervision during times of close free play with other children. Especially if it particularly one child who is being bitten. My child has not bitten as much as some of the stories you have mentioned, just having some difficulty with one child in particular during playtime and it has happened 5 times in the past month. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.
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  #19  
Old 02-23-2010, 09:09 AM
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Default Biting allowed? I know it happens but to do nothing?!

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led... They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them.... Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
...I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children.
I applaud you for your comment. I am a child care provider in a home setting and I am concerned. I live in California and my own child has been in Pre-school since she was three and immediately they teach the littles how to spell their names, addresses, patterning, alphabet, shapes, numbers, counting, rules and manners etc. The "fundamentals". This is in our public schools so I am not sure then why they are not taught where you are.

If our school system would not teach my own little any of these things I would be furious!! As for the biting issue: They should change their policies! For myself I know biting happens but if and when it does I immediately take action. I keep notes, call my licensor to report it, then call the parents of both children and explain what happened. I talk about it so that they understand that this cannot happen in my daycare. If it continues to happen I repeat the steps above, have a meeting with the offending child's parents and make a plan of action. If is still continues to happen I let the child go. It's that simple. I would rather lose one child rather than risk losing all of my other littles because of one child's behavior.

I agree that most children’s issues are due to the fact that the parent does not interact enough with their own child but not all children act the same at home than they do in my daycare. That being said however, my littles usually act like angels until their parents arrive to pick them up. My child never went through the terrible two's because I although I spoke to her in a soft and soothing voice I never used "baby talk". No goo-goo gaga for me. "Good morning Isis. How are you this morning? Are you a happy baby today? Yes you are. I am going to dress you now. This is your sock. It goes on your feet." etc. I also taught her and myself simple sign language with flashcards. If at one she couldn't communicate with me through words she used her hands and she has ALWAYS known that hurting herself, others and things are never allowed (she's 5 now).

Try this: Just like was said before, daycares don't want to lose clients. Talk to other parents and try to get them on board. Get a few WRITTEN concerns and complaints that state you are all thinking of looking for another daycare because you FEAR the SAFETY OF YOUR CHILD due to their NEGLIGENCE in addressing the situation appropriately. Then ask them what they are going to do about it. If you still see no results have a meeting with their director and again address your concerns. If you are not happy with the response let the director know that you are upset and are filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. It is so simple to do you can do it online. Chances are they don't want the negative review. Calling the licensing board may also help you if you file a formal complaint but you should leave that as a last resort. It may start an investigation and sometimes if they find something wrong they get a violation and a fine but if they find it to be really serious they could get shut-down.

I would like to know what course of action you decided to take and how it worked out for you. Please keep us posted and good luck.
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Old 01-18-2011, 06:10 PM
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I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.
I too am a preschool teacher in a daycare/preschool setting and I agree 100% with you!!!
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Old 01-18-2011, 08:32 PM
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My 13 month old son is a biter. He has a mouthful of teeth (11!) and he has a molar coming in which is *part* of the problem, but he also bites for fun, to get attention, and when he's mad. If I'm sitting in the chair in the playroom and have a dck on my lap, my son will walk over and bite my toes to get my attention! I'm lucky that it is MY kid who is the biter because I can smack his hand and say no and put him in the playpen for a couple minutes. I wouldn't know what to do if one of my dck's was the biter, all I could think to do is separate the biter from the group and tell them no. So far my son hasn't bit any daycare kids, but he's starting to get that he gets in trouble for biting because he bit a stuffed animal then pointed to himself and yelled "NO"...so maybe he'll outgrow it soon
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Old 08-10-2013, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.
I want a job at your daycare! You seem to have things in perspective (it amazes me how little people know, both daycare providers AND parents about what is appropriate for the children). It seems that daycare providers have their hands full and tied. My class is with one to two year olds and my daycare allows the parents to run the class. The parents have not excepted that it is now time to teach children right from wrong (they believe they are too young). Most of them are still on bottle feedings. Yet our ratio is 1 to 4.

I think there is such thing as age-appropriate guidance for these guys. The longer you wait to give this guidance the harder it is to break the behavior. Thus, they remain aggressive self-centered brats throughout our entire system. Unless the parents can afford private school later, they better wake up and smell the coffee. Public schools do not tolerate misbehavior.

And as far as biting is concerned, don't get me started. Some of these stories do include excessive biting and I understand their frustration. If your child needs "shadowing" one-on-one attention, it's time to hire a private nanny. Most daycares do not have a spare person to deal with this. My state, NY, has no clue how to create ratio standards as we almost always have a biter in our class but only 2 (if we're lucky 3 people to deal with the crowd). Since they are bottle-fed, in addition to trays, tables and sippy cups, we have to clean the bottles. The clean-up takes time while one person is watching six to eight kids by themselves. And all of the nap times, which can take up to 20 minutes apiece to lay these kids down, take one person away from the classroom, six to eight times a day.

I'm looking for another line of work. We are grossly underpaid, overworked and dealing with abusive angry parents who do not want their tuition to increase, just the standard of care.

And for all of the purported "concern" they have for their children, they almost always send them to us when they are sick. These are two-parent families and our daycare allows for them to have a fever of 101 before sending them home. They display signs of sickness at 100. They infect everyone, including the staff, and it's like working in a child infirmary with screaming and crying all day long.

Amen, for someone who is finally speaking out about this ridiculous coddling! It's time to leave for me. I dread the day I am in a nursing home and one of these selfish punks will be taking care of me. I wonder if their parents are going to have to go to work with them to be sure nothing stresses them.
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  #23  
Old 01-30-2013, 07:47 AM
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What if your child was the biter would you still have the same opinion?
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Old 02-12-2013, 12:57 PM
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I found this thread while searching for a solution for a biting problem in my childcare center. I am the director and I know that biting is common. More times than not, we find a solution: an extra snack, an extra nap, shadowing. This time it has continued longer than most. Anyone within reach at any time of day is the target for this 17-month old. Some would then say that the solution is easy; keep everyone out of reach. However, anyone working in the child care field knows that this is not practical in a center setting. I know that the parents of the biter are frustrated and embarrassed. It's not easy to pick up your child and be told once again that he bit. The parents of those bitten are also upset that their child has been subjected to being bit again and again. The staff does not like having to give the news to either set of parents and even they feel somewhat responsible that this has happened during their watch. No matter how closely a child is watched, it takes a mere split-second for a bite to occur. To not allow the child to interact with other children defeats the entire purpose of a childcare center where the goal is teach children social skills. I'm not certain that I have the right answer, but we are asking the parents of the biter to take a 2-week break from our center and then we can all try again.
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Old 04-30-2013, 08:32 AM
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My son, 3 years old, is biting only in daycare, sometimes without any reason, sometimes out of frustration. The size of the class is large, and the staff turnover is also high. They were not able to come with strategies, so we were the ones doing the research and suggested to have him accommodated in one of the smaller size class, or provide him o toy that he can bite, prevention, and more.
However, they rejected all our suggestions and they only talk to him. The daycare do not really provide the context of the incidents. The biting is not frequent but is happening occasionally for 6 months now. We do a lot of talk and remove privileges the day he is biting, he is also reminded periodically what are the consequences in case of a biting.
I consider moving him to another daycare where he is not attached to any child, or staff, but I only fear that he is going to bite in the new setting too.
Any experiences of someone moving the child in another daycare?
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  #26  
Old 05-09-2013, 11:15 PM
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My son started going to daycare at 16 months. The folks at the center suggested he start in the 18 - 36 m room because he was tall for his age. This week he turned 19m. He is still the youngest in his room. This week a new "friend" joined the class and bit my son on the nose. We were provided an incident report with details of the situation. The next morning, he bit my son above the eye, just after I dropped him off. That's 2 bites to the face in maybe 3 hours of DC time. IF the DC staff can't find a way to separate that child from mine, I'm gonna find a way to trash that DC in the local media.
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Old 11-01-2007, 01:17 PM
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Unhappy My son does it too

Yesterday my son got kicked out of the daycare, let me explain the story. When my son was born i had to put him in a daycare, he was not but a few months old when a little girl a year and a half older then him started biting him, well the provider would never tell us about it or produce reports, so one day i decided to watch her, the little girl walked up to my son and bit him on the back 2 times, the provider was staring at her the whole time this is going on, she did not fuss the little girl but instead fussed my son who did nothing. so i took him out of there and put him in another daycare, well he started biting there, but it wasn't all the time, accually the only time he would bite was when he was biten first, well yesterday he bite a little boy in the face, the daycare called me up and told me i needed to pick up my son and he was no longer welcomed back, when i got there she had all of his stuff in a bag waiting for me at the front door. i was irate with this, then i called her later to find out about something else and she proceeded to tell me that they excluded him from the halloween party and made him watch the other kids in there costumes and getting candy while he was being punished and waiting for me. what would you do in my situation
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Old 11-01-2007, 02:32 PM
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Unhappy Son was Kicked out of Daycare

Sadly, our son was kicked out of a private school when he was 6 years old. It was nothing more than his crying which disrupted the class. There is nothing that we can do but change the environment of our children to a more harmonious one. It seems like we are always searching for an adequate and understanding place for our children to learn but it is hard to find the right one. Most daycare are private businesses and we need to remember that. There are state requirements that must be followed but the bottom line is that it is a business and some operators do not want any disruption or can not handle it adequately. For those children that "don't fit in" we should continue looking for a one that has a true interest in the advancement of our kids. Otherwise homeschooling might be an option. It is a sacrifice of a parent's time but well worth the effort and time spent on life’s most precious gift
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  #29  
Old 11-05-2007, 08:42 AM
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Exclamation Biting / Preschool

I too am an educated, degreed preschool teacher. My classroom is harmonious and CHILD CENTERED. We have had a few behavior problems (mostly pushing, pinching, etc)

Let me first explain that young children do not necessarily have the vocabulary to express themselves. It is our duty to help these children find THEIR words. This can be a daunting task for children (and adults.) When an adult is angry, we have the ability to calm ourselves; this is not the case with very young children. They are still learning coping techniques. Empower these children by reviewing rules daily, posting visual signs to remind them, create social stories to read.

Also, allow me to speak for a moment on HOW young children learn. Young children learn through play. They construct knowledge through manipulating the world around them. Worksheets do little to increase a young child's knowledge. Worksheets and 'concepts' are abstract and young children are unable to think abstractly. Young children are concrete thinkers.
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Old 11-06-2007, 12:38 PM
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Lightbulb The Classroom that is Harmonious and CHILD CENTERED

Well said! Would love to hear more on your techniques and scheduling the children in your school.
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Old 11-07-2007, 02:09 PM
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As an educated Director of a daycare, I understand where parents are coming from. We have had many biters in our time, one was asked to leave. This child was placed with a nanny that had one other child, so the child could be closely monitored. It seemed to work for her.
Yet, for the daycare it comes down to ratio's of staff to children. Different states have different ratio's. It would be great if in a class of 8 toddlers with 2 teachers that one of the teachers could shadow the child all day. But then the other teacher now has 7 children to watch. I have watched a biter diligently and it just takes a quick turn of the childs head and the bite is given.
I would recommend that the parents talk to the teachers. If the teachers don't seem to care, then talk to the Director. If the Director doesn't care, you probably want to find another center. If they don't care about the biting, what else don't they care about?
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Old 06-01-2009, 11:26 PM
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Well said! Would love to hear more on your techniques and scheduling the children in your school.
Fabulously said!!! You're the type of teacher that every preschool classroom needs!
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Old 08-29-2011, 04:31 PM
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Yesterday my son got kicked out of the daycare, let me explain the story. When my son was born i had to put him in a daycare, he was not but a few months old when a little girl a year and a half older then him started biting him, well the provider would never tell us about it or produce reports, so one day i decided to watch her, the little girl walked up to my son and bit him on the back 2 times, the provider was staring at her the whole time this is going on, she did not fuss the little girl but instead fussed my son who did nothing. so i took him out of there and put him in another daycare, well he started biting there, but it wasn't all the time, accually the only time he would bite was when he was biten first, well yesterday he bite a little boy in the face, the daycare called me up and told me i needed to pick up my son and he was no longer welcomed back, when i got there she had all of his stuff in a bag waiting for me at the front door. i was irate with this, then i called her later to find out about something else and she proceeded to tell me that they excluded him from the halloween party and made him watch the other kids in there costumes and getting candy while he was being punished and waiting for me. what would you do in my situation

In a situation where your kid is hurting other children and they do not have enough staff to have one person dedicated to him that is their easy solution, I particularly work with the parentand child for a period of tiem, but if it not works I do give a three week notice. I have 11 children for 3 providers so we can not have one provider dedicated all the time to one child for months that will means that 2 to 3 children are gettng neglected. Why do they separete your child out of the Halloween party was he bitting? I would do the same first time for 2 minutes for each year of age second time a little longer, if he keeps bitting I will separete him to another room, he need to get consecuences for his bad choises like to be price for the good ones. This days people talk all the time about children rights that I think is wonderful, but what about about their duties like to be nice, be respectfull etc...this are things that need to be taught as early as we can.
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Old 04-10-2008, 03:44 PM
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So, my son use to bite alot, went to every doctor, shrink known to man. Finally, we got six months and no biting. As of last week, my son bit due to fighting over a toy at daycare. Well, my son is 4 and today he got suspended from school due to a child stating he bit him.
So, what is the best course of action and do they understand punishment and for how long? I am desperate and so tired of the tears.. any help would be great.

Crying Mom

Last edited by Michael; 04-10-2008 at 10:53 PM.
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Old 05-22-2008, 06:53 PM
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Well, this is my first post to the forums and I wish I didn't have to make it.

I am in a bit of a unique situation I think. My son (5) and daughter (16 months) are in a 5-star, NAEYC accredited learning center that is owned/run by the pharmaceutical company I work for. I DO have to pay for my children's care, but at a reduced rate since I am among the lowest paid employees of the company.

My daughter has become the repeated victim of biting. In the last 2-3 months she has been bitten 7 times. At least 3 of the bites were by the same child, although some of the other bites were from different children. I have spoken to the director of the daycare and she has confirmed that there are several children in the class who are in a biting stage. I understand that it could just as easily hae been my daughter biting other children and that there is very little that can be done to stop the biting, but it is still VERY frustrating. Each bite had left bruises and scrapes, although none of them, luckily, have broken the skin. In EVERY case the reports have stated that the bite was completely unprevoked. The director explained the centers policy to me which amounts to watching the biter when there are extra teachers to put in the room, which is seldom to never.

After the last incident, the center hired an outside counselor to come in for a "bag lunch workshop" for the parents to help them learn thing to do at home to try andchange the biters behavior patterns. The workshop was on Monday and I found out today that not a single parent of any of the biter children came to the workshop. being that this is a company owned daycare, every one of the parent/employees could have easily gotten off work for the workshop.

It seems to me that the parents of the biters don't care about my daughter (and other kids in the class) being bitten over and over again. The daycare is aparently going to do NOTHING else at this time.

Because of the discounted rate, and my wife and my work start times, I can't pull my kids out and put them in a different center, besides which I don't think that my children should have to leave.

Any thoughts/comments/advise would be appreciated.

Thanks
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Old 08-27-2010, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by praetorian View Post
Well, this is my first post to the forums and I wish I didn't have to make it.

I am in a bit of a unique situation I think. My son (5) and daughter (16 months) are in a 5-star, NAEYC accredited learning center that is owned/run by the pharmaceutical company I work for. I DO have to pay for my children's care, but at a reduced rate since I am among the lowest paid employees of the company.

My daughter has become the repeated victim of biting. In the last 2-3 months she has been bitten 7 times. At least 3 of the bites were by the same child, although some of the other bites were from different children. I have spoken to the director of the daycare and she has confirmed that there are several children in the class who are in a biting stage. I understand that it could just as easily hae been my daughter biting other children and that there is very little that can be done to stop the biting, but it is still VERY frustrating. Each bite had left bruises and scrapes, although none of them, luckily, have broken the skin. In EVERY case the reports have stated that the bite was completely unprevoked. The director explained the centers policy to me which amounts to watching the biter when there are extra teachers to put in the room, which is seldom to never.

After the last incident, the center hired an outside counselor to come in for a "bag lunch workshop" for the parents to help them learn thing to do at home to try andchange the biters behavior patterns. The workshop was on Monday and I found out today that not a single parent of any of the biter children came to the workshop. being that this is a company owned daycare, every one of the parent/employees could have easily gotten off work for the workshop.

It seems to me that the parents of the biters don't care about my daughter (and other kids in the class) being bitten over and over again. The daycare is aparently going to do NOTHING else at this time.

Because of the discounted rate, and my wife and my work start times, I can't pull my kids out and put them in a different center, besides which I don't think that my children should have to leave.

Any thoughts/comments/advise would be appreciated.

Thanks
Just wanted to say sorry to all those kids that are getting bit..my son is 21 months old and didnt start biting til he got bit first...it started out that he was only biting this one little girl.. i felt so sorry for her. now he bites different children for different reasons..sometimes it is because they take his toys or are just simply in his space... there are times the daycare teachers say he does it for no reason what so ever... im not there to see what happens...he does not bite at home nor does he get bit at home... i have no idea what to do about it.. i dont know if the daycare just cant keep a close enough eye on the kids or what but i do know the rooms are not that big...so again im sorry for those babies and kids that get bit over and over...every day that he does bite i make him tell the child he is sorry and to give them a hug.. i explain before and after everyday that biting is a no no and it hurts and it is not a nice thing to do to your friends...again im sorry i just dont know what else to do at this age....
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  #37  
Old 05-27-2008, 03:38 AM
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I know some are not going to like my comments, but, I am from the old school. I feel that if a child bites, especially a child that is 2 years old and up and should understand NO, they deserve to be punished, and I don't mean a time out, I mean a spanking. Haven't parents noticed lately how children act these days. It is because there are no consequences for their bad behavior, and I am sorry, but a time out in the corner for a few minutes is not punishment. Yes, I believe in punishment/consequences for bad behavior. At some point a child will learn, bite someone get spanked. It is amazing how our society the past 15 years has become oblivious to bad behavior out of children. And then when you have the government stepping in and telling parents how they can discipline their children, it is rediculous. Until parents once again own the right to discipline their children for poor behavior, it is going to continue to get worse. And right now it is bad enough.
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Old 05-28-2008, 06:19 PM
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I have read this entire thread, thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different perspective. I'm a lead teacher in a room with a child who bites. She is almost 18 months old and has been biting for 6 months now. She bites several times a day, some children getting bitten 3+ times in one day, let alone a week. Other parents are upset, obviously and rightfully so. We are staying at ratio (1 staff to 4 kids) and no matter how much we watch her, she still bites someone. Just the turn of a head is all it takes. She will do it just after nap time, just after eating, when standing next to someone, will walk across the room to find someone to bite, rarely is it over a toy (which is one we do understand), there is no real pattern to her behavior, other than her biting. We've tried the 'no' technique, time out, talking to her, keeping her away from other kids (but then she goes looking for a child to bite), we've given her her pacifier which did work but now she takes it out to bite a child-same with her 'blankie'. What else can a teacher honestly do? I can't watch just her, I have other children in the room as well. I don't want to isolate her, it's not fair for her either. Oh, another catch-the biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter. Definitely open to ideas!!!
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  #39  
Old 06-05-2008, 05:04 PM
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Default The biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter!

That is an interesting part of the story. I wonder if she knows her mom is the boss. Maybe she feels she deserves more respect. Why not awarding her the "princess of the day crown" for a day and see if she still bites in that period. Could tell a lot by it IMO.
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Old 08-12-2010, 08:11 AM
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I have read this entire thread, thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different perspective. I'm a lead teacher in a room with a child who bites. She is almost 18 months old and has been biting for 6 months now. She bites several times a day, some children getting bitten 3+ times in one day, let alone a week. Other parents are upset, obviously and rightfully so. We are staying at ratio (1 staff to 4 kids) and no matter how much we watch her, she still bites someone. Just the turn of a head is all it takes. She will do it just after nap time, just after eating, when standing next to someone, will walk across the room to find someone to bite, rarely is it over a toy (which is one we do understand), there is no real pattern to her behavior, other than her biting. We've tried the 'no' technique, time out, talking to her, keeping her away from other kids (but then she goes looking for a child to bite), we've given her her pacifier which did work but now she takes it out to bite a child-same with her 'blankie'. What else can a teacher honestly do? I can't watch just her, I have other children in the room as well. I don't want to isolate her, it's not fair for her either. Oh, another catch-the biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter. Definitely open to ideas!!!

Well unfortunately...I am this mommy! I am the director of a child development center and my daughter is 18 months old and she is a biter! This post is obviously not about my daughter because of the date it was posted but as I ressearched online on how to deal with biting I fould this forum. I must tell you it is AWFUL to be the person in charge and having your daughter down the hall biting. She has more recently started biting in the last week or so. I hate to use the cliche..."she is teething" but you can see the swollen gums and her fingers in her mouth all the time. Here is a question for you all...how do I handle it? Do I let my teachers handle it? Do I go down and handle it? How do I teach her that she isn't the "queen bee?" She is fully aware that Mommy is "in charge" and has the ability to wander throughout the building before and after we are open. All of the staff know her and most of the parents..she is delightful entertaining child...but has a biting problem. I have a good relationship with my daughters teachers, personally and professionally. I have told them I am open for their suggestions and as a parent willing to do whatever. I am just waiting for the first parent to come with me witha concern about the biting...do I tell them it is my child? Do I express my condolenseces and frustration? Will they assume that it will continue because the staff won't discipline my child?
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Old 08-12-2010, 11:54 AM
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Well unfortunately...I am this mommy! I am the director of a child development center and my daughter is 18 months old and she is a biter! This post is obviously not about my daughter because of the date it was posted but as I ressearched online on how to deal with biting I fould this forum. I must tell you it is AWFUL to be the person in charge and having your daughter down the hall biting. She has more recently started biting in the last week or so. I hate to use the cliche..."she is teething" but you can see the swollen gums and her fingers in her mouth all the time. Here is a question for you all...how do I handle it? Do I let my teachers handle it? Do I go down and handle it? How do I teach her that she isn't the "queen bee?" She is fully aware that Mommy is "in charge" and has the ability to wander throughout the building before and after we are open. All of the staff know her and most of the parents..she is delightful entertaining child...but has a biting problem. I have a good relationship with my daughters teachers, personally and professionally. I have told them I am open for their suggestions and as a parent willing to do whatever. I am just waiting for the first parent to come with me witha concern about the biting...do I tell them it is my child? Do I express my condolenseces and frustration? Will they assume that it will continue because the staff won't discipline my child?
This is a tough problem to deal with, and hopefully you will find a solution sooner rather than later. I have had a home daycare for 15 years now and the thing that seems to be most effective for me is this: Immediately after the "bite", take the two children aside, and say something to the effect of "Sally, do you see how Johnny is crying? He is very upset because when you bite him, it really hurts! Do you see this mark on his arm? That's where you bit him and it really hurts! Can you make Johnny feel better?" Usually here the "biter" will give a hug or say sorry if they are verbal. This works best if you tackle the problem as soon as the biting starts, so I'm not sure how it will work for a little one who's been biting for awhile. And obviously it works better if the child who is bitten is upset and doesn't just take it in stride.

Good luck to you and your daughter.
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  #42  
Old 06-20-2008, 05:25 AM
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I echo many of your thoughts and concerns. Everyone, please read the book "No Biting" by Gretchen Kinnell. I think you will find it very helpful. My son has been expelled from three daycares. He started biting at 10 months old and is now 25 months old. (Interesting note: my sone only bites at daycare and usually only his peers as a result of a conflict) Biting does happen, and it is unfortunately an expected behavior. The formentioned book is directed to daycare providers, but as a parent of a child with a biting issue, I found it very helpful. I am a very concerned parent and I have done everything to the best of my knowlege regarding my son's biting, but the answers are not as easy as some of you think. I wish everyone on this thread the best. I could writ a book of my own regarding my experience. Whether you are a parent of a child that has been bitten, a parent of a child that is biting, or a child care provider, we all have a responsibility to helping this behavior cease. Good luck to all!
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Old 07-08-2008, 07:57 AM
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My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!
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Old 08-30-2008, 08:53 AM
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I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!
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My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:40 AM
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I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!
I take it your not a daycare provider? Do you realize that daycare providers/ and daycare centers can be sued by the parents of the child/children that were bit? You make it sound as though providers just discipline the action! Listen, I am very well schooled in the job that i do but i do have to protect not only my children but the children that have been placed in my care. I provide a well-organized, well-supervised, and stimulating atmosphere for the children in my care. IE the 3 strikes your out policy, i work with my parents to come to a solution together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and the child may need more care than i can give! I don't think it is the jobs of us daycare providers to have to put up with aggressive, disruptive, or destructive behavior. I have more than one child in my care, so do you think it is fair to the other children to have all my time taken up by this one child with the bad behavior? How long are us daycare providers expected to put up with this type of behavior? I am here to provide for your children, not raise them!!!!!!
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  #46  
Old 09-18-2008, 09:26 AM
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My son is in a daycare center. When he was just 6 months old and still in a swing he was bite on the head - first day. Now he has moved to the toddler room at 15 months. The same kid that bit him on his first day is now in the toddler room. She bites my son almost every day. He has large bruises on both arms. We've been in the toddler room with the biter for two weeks. The daycare ladies say that my son doesn't respect her space and that's why she bites. I've very concerned. I'm thinking of taking my son out. He was well cared for in the baby room and we had no problems because the bitter went to the toddler room a few days after we started in the baby room. Any suggestions?
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Old 01-30-2012, 01:02 PM
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I can relate i have a child in my class who is 2 years old they bite all the time, there are times they do so good not biting for weeks and its out of the blue they start biting again, just last week they bit Three children in one day, my director then told me if they bites again i was to call her mom and have them pick their child up. i always set them in time out and talk to them about biting how it hurts its not nice, but they keep doing it, i have talked to their mom more then once and other parents are getting mad because this keeps being an issue, my daycare doesnt have a policy on it we just put them in time out but i think we need to have a policy on this that says if they become are harming other kids they are no longer allowed due to being dangerous to be around and they can no longer come back until issue is taking care of. i don't know how much longer i can take it, i am always in my room watching after these kids, making sure to keep them busy with activities for them to do. i honestly think this child does it for the attention. today she bit two children i have to talk to her mom when she gets here i don't know what to tell her i am out of ideas.
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  #48  
Old 07-19-2016, 01:46 PM
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Default Let's be honest...

I fully understand your opinion that you aren't responsible to raise the children you "care for". However, children spend an average of 50 hours a week under the influence of daycare providers. So, let's do the math.
A parent is with their child for 1-2 hours during the hustle and bustle of the morning getting themselves and the child ready for the day. There isn't much parenting room there. You have them for an average of 10 solid hours thereafter. The parent picks up the child 30 minutes to an hour depending on drive time after work, let's say 6pm, and the child goes to bed between 8-8:30am. This leaves 2 and a half hours in the evening to cook dinner, bathe the child and do minor house chores. So the parent hours vs provider hours do not equate. Yes, I do understand parenting comes first. But in today's society if a child is not fed, bathed or dressed appropriately there could be legal repercussions that are inflicted. Therefore, your statement that you are not responsible to raise someone's child is completely absurd. You are ABSOLUTELY responsible. This is why YOU were hired. Parents are choosing YOU to care for, nurture and TEACH their child because their jobs do not allow them to provide and parent equally. You should not be in your chosen career. Your comments make it clear you are only handling children for a paycheck. Any and ALL parents associated with you or your establishment should reconsider paying anything to you as your services lack in an extreme way!! This is not productive to the child or parent and you could be the reason these "biters" are not adequately learning how to adapt socially. Harsh but true!!

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I take it your not a daycare provider? Do you realize that daycare providers/ and daycare centers can be sued by the parents of the child/children that were bit? You make it sound as though providers just discipline the action! Listen, I am very well schooled in the job that i do but i do have to protect not only my children but the children that have been placed in my care. I provide a well-organized, well-supervised, and stimulating atmosphere for the children in my care. IE the 3 strikes your out policy, i work with my parents to come to a solution together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and the child may need more care than i can give! I don't think it is the jobs of us daycare providers to have to put up with aggressive, disruptive, or destructive behavior. I have more than one child in my care, so do you think it is fair to the other children to have all my time taken up by this one child with the bad behavior? How long are us daycare providers expected to put up with this type of behavior? I am here to provide for your children, not raise them!!!!!!
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  #49  
Old 10-30-2008, 12:07 PM
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Default I Agree

I too think it's interesting that someone who supposedly knows children advocates biting them back when they bite. I am a childcare provider, and as such make it my business to understand NORMAL childhood stages and also to know and advocate educated safe ways to deal with and correct unacceptable behavior. She didn't say how her children turned out, did she? Is her last name "Dahmer" by any chance? :-)

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I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!
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  #50  
Old 11-06-2008, 08:43 PM
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Default Try this . . .

As a director of a childcare center, I know that nothing makes parents more angry than their infant or toddler getting bitten. We have a little guy that got bitten a lot from his old childcare center, they pulled him and brought him to us, and SURPRISE, he started biting. A lot. We have a policy that after three times in a day, we send them home. We were sending this little guy home every day, and nothing was working. So, I logged when he was biting (usually around the hour before lunch), and I asked his mother to come in and shadow him for this time. He was done biting in less than three weeks. I've done this now twice and it's worked great. I know that most parents cannot afford to leave work for an hour or two, but it really does work well. It seems to even work better than another teacher shadowing the biter.

And yes, that biting book that was mentioned above is an awesome resource in child care centers!
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  #51  
Old 11-07-2008, 01:24 PM
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I too think it's interesting that someone who supposedly knows children advocates biting them back when they bite. I am a childcare provider, and as such make it my business to understand NORMAL childhood stages and also to know and advocate educated safe ways to deal with and correct unacceptable behavior. She didn't say how her children turned out, did she? Is her last name "Dahmer" by any chance? :-)
I think you need to read my statement again.........I don't bit the daycare kids..are you crazy. Dahmer huh...........I bit my kids back sweetie i didn't eat them!!!!!!!!!! FYI- my children are well adjusted straight A students. They have learned that we don't use our teeth to get what we want. Oh and hey, my kids were never kicked out of daycare either for bitting or anything else! There are parents out there that are really concerned about this behavior and there are some that think its ok for there child to be able to do what ever the h**l they want, i take it your one of those parents!!!!
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  #52  
Old 04-20-2010, 08:47 PM
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I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!
No, the child who is causing injury to the rest of the group needs to go!! The safefty of the group is more important than the needs of one child.
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  #53  
Old 10-10-2008, 10:12 PM
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My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!
Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!
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  #54  
Old 10-21-2008, 12:55 PM
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Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!

This is exactly what i'm talking about!!! Ye Ole "my child doesn't do that at home" and ya know what, every single provider out there knows exactly what I'm talking about! No one ever said anything about anyone being bad parents. And i really don't care if your upset! I have other children to take care of......period!!! And yes, calling the parents would do something.......It would remove the bitter from my care and hence giving the other children the chance to grow and develop without being bit! Let me tell you something........I had a biter in my care for 2 years.......i gave him 2 YEARS so to say that we providers don't work with these types of children are just bogus! The straw that broke the camels back was that he bit one of my daycare kids so hard that she had to go to the ER all because he wanted the toy that she was playing with!!! Now do you think thats fair to that child and that childs parent to have to come to daycare afraid and scared that she may be bit again.......No its NOT! There are daycares out there that have people on their staff that will work more in depth with that child and parent, However I'm not one of them! I don't have to be one of them! Oh and don't feel Sorry for the children in my care, for #1. My parents are very, very happy with the care i provide and for #2. they don't need your pity!!! I have "raised"(along side of some excellent parents) some very, very well adjusted and intelligent children, that have entered into school grade levels above their peers!
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  #55  
Old 02-05-2010, 01:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!
Children rarely act exactly the same at home as they do in daycare- and parents often don't see the behavior because the child is at home with 1 or 2 parents and maybe a couple siblings- in his own kingdom with his own toys etc. That same wonderful child may be completely unable to deal with group dynamics. The king of the castle is one of a group of children all equal in a daycare. The toy is never his- it must be shared. The rules may be different than at home... All situations that create frustration in the child. None the daycares "fault". Teaching proper socialization skills takes time and is challenging for parents and daycare alike. Ultimately if a child is delayed in communication skills, easily frustrated/short fused the safety of the group may have to override and the biter may be let go. One way to have parents and providers work together on the subject is to have the parent enroll the child in a play group or put the child in a situation under the parents supervision where it hs to interact with other children and watch. If biting is how he reacts to kids at daycare- he may react the same at the Burger King playland. The child doesn't know how the parent feels about the behavior and no amount of talking about it after hours will have the same result as the swift intervention and discipline on the spot. Unfortunately sucess in curbing the behavior really depends on the cognitive ability of the child somewhat. Until it understands cause and effect, is developmentally at the stage to grasp empathy, all anyone can do is try to watch closely to watch for cues that may indicate an upcoming attack. For the biter, who already is socially incompetent, the negative reactions of his classmates that do not want to play with or be around him out of fear, exacerbates the frustration and limits the biters opportunity to learn positive social interactions. Sometimes a new setting with more individual attention and a renewed emphasis on naming emotions and emotional control can help.

Last edited by Michael; 02-05-2010 at 02:49 PM.
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  #56  
Old 02-05-2010, 05:37 PM
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Default But He’s an Angel at Home ?

Something else to consider - Auditory Processing Disorder.

https://www.daycare.com/story/angel.html

Last edited by Michael; 02-05-2010 at 05:40 PM.
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  #57  
Old 08-03-2009, 04:34 PM
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Thumbs down biting

I have to say that I disagree with the earlier thread. No, not all biters bite at home! I am the mother of a three and a half year old son who bites. He does not do it everyday, maybe once a week. This is a new behavior. He has just recently starting going to a new daycare (within the last two weeks) nd that is when the behavior started. The teachers tell me that he is the only one in the class doing it. He has NEVER done it a home. It only happens when he is in an argument, or confrontation, usually over a toy. It does not mean that I am a bad parent or that I do not care about my child hurting other children. I am a very involved parent. I have done everything to get the behavior to stop. I thought it did. He didn't bite for one week, but then he did it today. I have spanked him, taken away toys/ privileges, even bitten him back! I am at my wits end and was reduced to tears today. He is a sweet kid and has no other problems. I just don't know how to get this behavior to stop.
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  #58  
Old 08-04-2009, 02:17 AM
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Wink

It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

Just know that as he starts to use his words the biting will subside. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.
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  #59  
Old 08-10-2009, 12:07 PM
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When I was preschool, I was kicked out of one school for biting. My mother told me that it wasn't aggressive with other children normally, and that it was mostly likely that I was tired and frustrated and the teachers weren't monitoring me closely enough.
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Old 07-22-2008, 07:30 PM
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Wink Biting

It depends on the child-and yes the staffing needs to step up and be alert more. No age is acceptable to biting, but it is up to the staff to take action to all ages. I have been a preschool teacher for 18 yrs. A child who is 1-3 uses biting for "feelings-" some are teething, while this is a source of "touch-" however a older 3 yr old does know that biting hurts and will use it out of anger-to redirect any age is the best-the biter needs to be monitored more-and if I were you, honestly-I'd tell the "director" that if something isn't done YES you are filing a report-if your child is the one being bite-are you getting accident reports this is happening? What time? What was the child doing? Etc-all accidents in center-base or in-home should be documented for the safety of the one getting bite, the biter, and the center. BITING is serious-and can be stopped. Hope I pushed you to be more aggressive-your child's safety IS your responsibiliy-STEP UP- :-) I'm behind you.
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  #61  
Old 08-20-2008, 05:59 PM
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Default Bites

Here is what I believe. I get it that children bite. Once, time out, twice - if you call the parents and they no longer have child care, they will take them to the dr or whatever it takes to change the behavior. If the child has a disorder - it can be corrected - hate to say it, but sorry - no daycare. If the parents don't like it, I agree, file a charge against them - either assault or against the parents for neglect. They will take notice and either correct the behavior or take them to a dr.
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  #62  
Old 08-25-2008, 09:42 PM
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Default Severity

I've been quite reasonable with our daycare and not over-reacting to a few bites here and there. Recently, the same child has biten my son 4 times in one week. I can handle small bites out of frustration, due to not having the appropriate communication skills, but it's when the bites become very severe that I cannot stande idle. When you pick your son up and he has a wound on his arm as if someone put his 1 inch arm in a vice and tightened it until it bled, you start to think differently about allowing the biting child to remain amongst the group. Sure, i'm sorry for the parents of the biter and realize i could have been the parent of child with a behavior issue, and may some day be, but that simply does not change the fact that i have to leave my child every morning in a room where another child is waiting to inflict bodily harm to him. When our son was younger, he began developing certain behaviors that ALL kids do. It's what you do in response to those behaviors in combination with your child's developmental capabilities that will either stop them or fail to. I think I've told my son, "Use your words" (signs before speach developed or even just holding him and making him point at what he wanted - lots of trial and error at very young ages), more than 5,000 times in his short two years. Now that he has developed a strong vocabulary, we do not let him get away with ANYTHING unless he manifests his desires in words. If he cries or even whines in the smallest way, he does not get what he wants until he talks in a normal voice, asks nicely, and says thank you. It has changed everything and he is such a good little boy. Some parents may do this but it must be done all the time and in every situation. It also stimulates language development. Tomorrow, we are going to ask our daycare to make some drastic changes to protect our son. I wish we did not have to but I cannot put my son in harms way each day and just go on to work and be content and wait for someone else to fix things.
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  #63  
Old 10-10-2008, 10:34 PM
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My son was kicked out Daycare today for biting. Unfortunatley this is not the first time. When it started he was about 18 months and the day care he was in started sending him home about once a week for biting. Then they kicked him out. I tried everything, there were no other daycares with openings and I had to quit my job. I made up my mind to take some time off with him and try to let him mature. I stayed home with him for a year. When I first put him in daycare again he did not bite. He started a few months after. I was getting called to pick him up all the time. So I switched him to another daycare before he could get kicked out again. Once again he did not bite for a month or so. Then he started biting at that daycare too. My child was refered to special education for learing disabilities, so I had to move to a daycare in the school district so he could get picked up. He did not bite at first at this new Daycare either. Then he started bitting everyday. This morning when I went to drop him off, the director told me that the State called and said my son could no longer attend the daycare because he had bit another child and caused the child to bleed. I dont know what to do. The family doctor never has any answers, so I'm wondering what type of doctor I should take him to? Does anyone know if he can go to another daycare now that he has been reported by the state? I dont want to have to keep moving him around but I need to work. It's really not fair that he has to keep going through adjusting over and over again. I also have a daughter who each time this happens has to start over again at a new daycare and hard for her as well.
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Old 08-29-2011, 05:21 PM
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My son was kicked out Daycare today for biting. Unfortunatley this is not the first time. When it started he was about 18 months and the day care he was in started sending him home about once a week for biting. Then they kicked him out. I tried everything, there were no other daycares with openings and I had to quit my job. I made up my mind to take some time off with him and try to let him mature. I stayed home with him for a year. When I first put him in daycare again he did not bite. He started a few months after. I was getting called to pick him up all the time. So I switched him to another daycare before he could get kicked out again. Once again he did not bite for a month or so. Then he started biting at that daycare too. My child was refered to special education for learing disabilities, so I had to move to a daycare in the school district so he could get picked up. He did not bite at first at this new Daycare either. Then he started bitting everyday. This morning when I went to drop him off, the director told me that the State called and said my son could no longer attend the daycare because he had bit another child and caused the child to bleed. I dont know what to do. The family doctor never has any answers, so I'm wondering what type of doctor I should take him to? Does anyone know if he can go to another daycare now that he has been reported by the state? I dont want to have to keep moving him around but I need to work. It's really not fair that he has to keep going through adjusting over and over again. I also have a daughter who each time this happens has to start over again at a new daycare and hard for her as well.
You need to take responsability in your children behaivor. You have to give consecuences for his act at home too, a daycare provider can not do all the job, This days people talk all about childrens rights that I think is wonderful, but what about childrens duties and responsabilities like be nice, respectful etc...a two minutes timeout is not going to make any change and providers cannot do anything else, so it is your responsability. Other thing providers can be sue by the bitees parents?
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  #65  
Old 08-31-2011, 06:19 PM
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Default Biting child

I currently work at a center where we have a child that has been biting. It started about six months ago and stopped for a while, but this week he has bitten someone everyday. Today, he bit 3 children. He is the ONLY child that bites.. We have brought this to the owners attention (she's never there) but we are not getting much support. She suggested we seperate the child from the others, but we are a small center, don't have too many staff members and can't really "afford" to have a teacher watch 1 child while there are few to watch the others. This little boy is 2 1/2 years old, only bites if someone has something he wants. I have tried to help him by telling him we don't bite our friends, and I know you want that toy but "Jill" is playing with it right now, we have to wait our turn.. Etc.. I have also tried to give him as much extra special attention when possible and make a big deal out it when he does something good and kind. We have had this lil guy since he was about 3 months old and I love him. I'm just frustrated because we've tried many things that don't work. I understand how the other parents feel. I know of many other daycares that would not let this continue. I'm not sure what to do? I'm actually considering trying to find another job because of the lack of support from the owner.
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  #66  
Old 09-19-2011, 02:05 PM
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Default What if the daycare is not reporting the bites?

Here is my concern. My child has had one-on-one in home care for the first 21 months. Recently we transitioned to pre-school daycare. In 6 weeks my child was bit twice. And has bit antother once (she bit another the same day she was bit). Those were reported. I understand biting is a normal part of the toddler life.

However, there have been two instances when she had injuries and it was never reported. One was a scraped forehead and scratch all the way down the face, down to the chin. The other was a bite on the shoulder that had broken the skin. I didn't notice until bath time.

So it could be they know and don't report it. Or they aren't watching and it goes unnoticed. Both options are unacceptable. Or it could just be that toddlers are so active it's hard to catch everything. (I didn't mention that she has had other bruises, marks, etc. Those I figured could be from just regular playing... I don't overreact on every mark).

At what point should I be concerned? Is this normal? What if they just aren't reporting all the incidents out of fear that parents will remove their kids/revenue?
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  #67  
Old 09-19-2011, 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Concerned Mommy View Post
Here is my concern. My child has had one-on-one in home care for the first 21 months. Recently we transitioned to pre-school daycare. In 6 weeks my child was bit twice. And has bit antother once (she bit another the same day she was bit). Those were reported. I understand biting is a normal part of the toddler life.

However, there have been two instances when she had injuries and it was never reported. One was a scraped forehead and scratch all the way down the face, down to the chin. The other was a bite on the shoulder that had broken the skin. I didn't notice until bath time.

So it could be they know and don't report it. Or they aren't watching and it goes unnoticed. Both options are unacceptable. Or it could just be that toddlers are so active it's hard to catch everything. (I didn't mention that she has had other bruises, marks, etc. Those I figured could be from just regular playing... I don't overreact on every mark).

At what point should I be concerned? Is this normal? What if they just aren't reporting all the incidents out of fear that parents will remove their kids/revenue?
A scratch of that nature, especially on the face, most definitley should have been noticed by the provider/teacher. Even if the provider did not witness it first hand, she would have had to have known it happened and found out what DID happen. The bite should not have gone unnoticed either....a bite that breaks the skin is certainly going to result in a SCREAMING victim......there is no reason at all for either incident to not be documented. These types of injuries are not normal, every day "bumps and bruises" types of injuries.

Did you ask the provider/teacher at pick up about the face marks and ask the following day about the bite marks, and if yes, what was the response?
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  #68  
Old 10-23-2008, 12:32 PM
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Smile There is hope....my son WAS a biter.

I will spare everyone the details, but my story mirrors many of your stories. There is a wonderful book called NO BITING. You can find it on Amazon.com. After my son was expelled from many well-meaning schools, I came upon this book and it changed the way I thought about biting. The cure for biting is a process and one cannot expect a young child to stop just because it is what adults want. Each child is different and the reason for a child to bite may differ from child to child. Please read NO BITING and lend a copy to your daycare provider. It really did help my son and me.
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Old 11-16-2008, 05:45 PM
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Default get it stopped

Our policy is that WE stop them! No child is ever allowed to bite.
And, it is the staff's responsibility! The need to pay attention and discipline when needed- or terminate the child that is biting.
That's ridiculous!!!
Maybe you threaten them with a law suit .,.maybe then they'll find the time to take some action.
However, that was a very good decision on your part to file a report --- but also contact her inspector - and turn them in for allowing abuse.
Ms.Sue
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Old 11-20-2008, 11:27 AM
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I posted on 09-18-2008. Here's what has happened. After my posting my son continue to be bit almost every day by some other toddler. Supposedly, 5 different toddlers and a different toddler each day. He always had a bruise on his face or arm. I looked and looked for other daycare. Finally, I decided to take him to another building run by the same daycare company. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!! He hasn't been bit. He doesn't wake up screeming at night like he had a bad dream. It is just wonderfull. My advice. If you child is either bitting or being bit. Take the child to a different daycare. Almost curtain there is something going on at the daycare that is causing problems. It could be anything from the schedule, to the other childern, to even the daycare people. Who knows because the child can't tell you. But it does make a difference being in a different enviroment. The new center I do see that the lady's that work in the toddler room are much more caring and loving. They will actually pick up a child that is crying. The other daycare had a lady that I never saw her hold one of the toddlers except to pick them up to change them. She preferred to carry the clip board around to write notes down and keep up with her huge amount of paperwork she was always complaining about.

Advice for daycare centers. Find a way for the people working there to care for the childern and quit filling out paperwork! This was the 2nd daycare center I had this same problem with. Give them a specific time of day to step out to do the paperwork. Not expect to take up a toddler eating table to do the work. Toddlers and childern need attention and loving care. NOT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO FILL PAPERWORK OUT!!!!
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Old 11-20-2008, 02:33 PM
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Thumbs up Update on Biting at Daycare

Thanks for the update! Remember, even before your baby is born, you are your child's best and most important advocate. It seems difficult after finally placing your child in a daycare to start thinking about finding another. There are choices and we need to find the ones that benefit our children the most. It is a constant quest for quality. For those looking for other daycare facilities:

http://daycare.com/listing.html

Our story:

http://daycare.com/story/index.html
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  #72  
Old 12-16-2008, 12:50 PM
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It is so easy for a biter to bite, even when closely watched. I handle biters (actually all issues) with the parent/s knowing everything going on. A repeat biter is never left alone with others, they don't go inside closed tunnel play places (McDonald's, etc...), they will have to sit out or stay home and we explain why, it is a safety/health issue.
In every case of repeat biters, if a parent (only parent) bites a child back, they stop (I know many will object - but we have seen it work, every time "bunerous times"). It needs to be done carefully and on their finger, with the back teeth, as follows:
1. First the parent has to say "no biting, biting hurts, ouchy" (that plants the idea it hurts)
2. Take their finger and with back teeth, bite down just enough for it to not feel good and hold that pressure for about 5 seconds (not biting down any harder) Try it on yourself first, you don't have to bite hard, but holding a mild pressure does the trick (it can't be to soft or they will laugh and not feel the lesson). Make sure that after you do it, yoou say, ouchy, biting hurts (the words you use and the attitude you display, is very important) I have had so many parents try it and so many confirm biting works to show them it hurts. You might have to adjust the pressure, but it is the 5 seconds or so that makes them feel like they are being bit hard. Try it yourself, it isn't wounding them and it works. A biter can cause a lot of damage and get a child to be a repeat biter, getting kicked out of multiple daycares, which does more damage to the biter and can make them end up being a problem child.
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Old 03-30-2009, 03:36 PM
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Default Biting

Dear Judy,
I worked in a licenced child care center for nearly 20 years. There was a boy many years ago who was CONSTANLY biting the children. Believe me he wasn't even 2 years old and he was quick!
Anyway the director was more concerned about money than her center. When several parents finally ganged up on her and said either you kick him out or we are taking our children out she got scared and asked him to leave. However this was a Tuesday and she told the parent that they could finish out the week.
Ironic it seemed that on that last Friday this biter bit the rocking chair SO hard it cracked the wood. The director said oh well...he's gone after today!
Sad to say but sometimes people see green before their eyes and not the children they are required to be caring for.
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  #74  
Old 04-13-2009, 08:14 AM
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I've never spoken to a parent who hasn't gone through the biting phase. All children try it and every child is different in how they get over it. I am lucky that my children got over it rather quickly (maybe it was because they are very close in age and i was able to deal with it at home myself, rather than having to trust the day care staff). The worst situation I ever encountered with a biter was actually the child of the owner of the daycare my children were attending in Pennsylvania. The preschool teacher was unable to tell me which child was biting my children, but my children told me themselves. The confrontation was difficult... I tried to make it parent to parent, but it was also parent to daycare staff. However, I believe that the communication between the parent of the biter and the parent of the bitten child was essential in dealing with the problem. It took some time and a lot of patience on all of our parts, but doesn't every problem involving children take time and patience? There are no enemies when dealing with such a problem, and the more involved we are as parents, the quicker we can resolve behavior issues.
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Old 09-28-2009, 12:37 PM
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Red face Licensing Regulations...

I am a child care provider, and because of the regulations that WE HAVE to follow there is only so much we can do to a child who bites. We have a child who bites at least once a week, we have explained this to the parents about the situation and they are trying to work with us also to correct the situation. There is only so much they can do also. To be brutally honest with you, this is something that happens in all day cares. It isn't always easy to shadow a child when the ratio is to the max. If you look up Minimum Standard Rules you can see that we are very limited on how to handle the situation.
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:16 AM
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OK...so there has been a lot of conversation about younger children who bite...what about a child that is nearly 4 years old? She has bitten on and off since, well since she had teeth!

Now, my daughter was a biter and I was able to resolve it pretty quickly...as for this child, to date, nothing has worked.

Any advice?
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Old 12-09-2009, 12:43 PM
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OK...so there has been a lot of conversation about younger children who bite...what about a child that is nearly 4 years old? She has bitten on and off since, well since she had teeth!

Now, my daughter was a biter and I was able to resolve it pretty quickly...as for this child, to date, nothing has worked.

Any advice?
I would classify that as being a mean, malicious violent little monster.

By the age of 4, kids know wrong from right, and what's acceptable and what's not.


This worked with our son.....but you can't do with a DC kid. He was about 3...climbed in my lap and bit me on the shoulder. I bit him back. He doesn't bite me anymore.
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Old 12-09-2009, 04:32 PM
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I would classify that as being a mean, malicious violent little monster.

By the age of 4, kids know wrong from right, and what's acceptable and what's not.


This worked with our son.....but you can't do with a DC kid. He was about 3...climbed in my lap and bit me on the shoulder. I bit him back. He doesn't bite me anymore.
LOL! Sometimes one good bite deserves another!

Mom comes in and tells dck that since she bit, she will have to sit on the couch and watch TV...she can't play at all...and she has to throw out the puppy toy she got in her happy meal...yeah, not gonna work.

I suggested to Mom that she try what we've done with our dd when she hit another daycare child--she was 5 and knew better. I told her to wait in her room until after daycare was over. I went in to talk to her calmly about hitting and then I spanked her bare butt. (Just so you know, she had hit several times, knew right from wrong, and lived to tell the tale of being spanked--no permanment damage no matter what some critics will tell you.)

Guess what...Mom actually took my advice and I had the first peaceful day in weeks. Yay!
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Old 03-16-2010, 12:03 PM
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I would classify that as being a mean, malicious violent little monster.

By the age of 4, kids know wrong from right, and what's acceptable and what's not.


This worked with our son.....but you can't do with a DC kid. He was about 3...climbed in my lap and bit me on the shoulder. I bit him back. He doesn't bite me anymore.
What a horrible thing to say! No child is a "malicious violent little monster" I am a parent of a biter, and my child has also been bitten! I have bitten him back, spanked him, popped him in the mouth, ect. Children handle situations and act differently throughout stages, and I think it is crazy for someone like you, who is a spouse of of DC worker, (and by the way, this does not make you are one too!) to say things like that. I believe you are the "mean" one here and have no right to judge a child you do not even know. I believe parents who get on here need help and are looking for advice and don't need closed minded people with nothing better to do but to get one here and start judging them. Hope your son doesn't pick up that behavior from you!
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Old 01-31-2010, 11:12 AM
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Unhappy Biting/Spanking

Whomever said that they need to WATCH the kids/babies is right. If they are not watched, they can't be disciplined, and the biting will not stop. The biter should be set in time out and even though this is a pain it is something that has to be done AS SOON as the biting occurs! If there is no discipline after the action it will not stop and everyone else's kids will continue to suffer. The MAIN problem is they pay the people who watch our kids the same as what a McDonald's worker makes - NOTHING!!! Almost minimum wage. Therefore the people who watch our kids are under-appreciated, under-educated, and under-paid! Not a good situation.

Our country pays a basketball player millions of dollars while they pay the people who do the most important job in the world nothing. This simple fact makes me irate! I have been tempted plenty of times to actually pay my son's teacher under the table to make sure he is cared for the right way!!! I should not have to feel like this. The director needs to get a car that is not so expensive, and several other staff need to down-grade what they have in order to compensate the people who actually do the work! About spanking, we try No and of course that doesn't work, we try time-out and sometimes that doesn't seem to work to well either. We've spanked lightly on the bottom a few times and that always seems to make the behavior worse. For now we are sticking to time out because that makes the biggest impact on him, when he has to sit still and can't play. We only put him in time-out however for the amount of minutes/years so since he's 2 he has to stay there for 2 minutes. This is how it should go. Studies show that spanking actually does more harm than good so I too am glad that guy on here (Mister old school you know who you are) doesn't care for my kids!
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Old 02-01-2010, 07:25 AM
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Whomever said that they need to WATCH the kids/babies is right. If they are not watched, they can't be disciplined, and the biting will not stop. The biter should be set in time out and even though this is a pain it is something that has to be done AS SOON as the biting occurs! If there is no discipline after the action it will not stop and everyone else's kids will continue to suffer. The MAIN problem is they pay the people who watch our kids the same as what a McDonald's worker makes - NOTHING!!! Almost minimum wage. Therefore the people who watch our kids are under-appreciated, under-educated, and under-paid! Not a good situation.

Our country pays a basketball player millions of dollars while they pay the people who do the most important job in the world nothing. This simple fact makes me irate! I have been tempted plenty of times to actually pay my son's teacher under the table to make sure he is cared for the right way!!! I should not have to feel like this. The director needs to get a car that is not so expensive, and several other staff need to down-grade what they have in order to compensate the people who actually do the work! About spanking, we try No and of course that doesn't work, we try time-out and sometimes that doesn't seem to work to well either. We've spanked lightly on the bottom a few times and that always seems to make the behavior worse. For now we are sticking to time out because that makes the biggest impact on him, when he has to sit still and can't play. We only put him in time-out however for the amount of minutes/years so since he's 2 he has to stay there for 2 minutes. This is how it should go. Studies show that spanking actually does more harm than good so I too am glad that guy on here (Mister old school you know who you are) doesn't care for my kids!
A two year old isn't going to "get" time-out...and NO ONE not matter how well paid can watch a kid constantly. Unless your center has the resources to dedicate one individual to keep constant eyes on your child alone, the kid is going to bite until you teach him otherwise. At two a BIG STRONG no, not a gentle but firm no, but a down right scary NO! And it may need to be followed by a spanking as opposed to a light pat on the butt.

PS: I have a degree in community psychology, have been doing daycare for 4 years, my oldest is 15, a straight A student, plays basketball, wants to be a doctor...and he's been spanked. Get it together before you raise a kid that doesn't have any friends and adults can't stand to see coming...
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:17 AM
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a two year old isn't going to "get" time-out...and no one not matter how well paid can watch a kid constantly. Unless your center has the resources to dedicate one individual to keep constant eyes on your child alone, the kid is going to bite until you teach him otherwise. At two a big strong no, not a gentle but firm no, but a down right scary no! And it may need to be followed by a spanking as opposed to a light pat on the butt.

Ps: I have a degree in community psychology, have been doing daycare for 4 years, my oldest is 15, a straight a student, plays basketball, wants to be a doctor...and he's been spanked. Get it together before you raise a kid that doesn't have any friends and adults can't stand to see coming...

amen to this! Glad i am not the only one that believes in true discipline.
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Old 02-01-2010, 08:29 PM
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Amen to both of you! It is very easy now-a-days to see what has happened to the kids who KNOW that there is no painful consequences when they deliberately disobey. Here's a link to a NEW study, for those of you who raise your children based on studies, that shows that spanked children are better adjusted adults. Most of us don't really need a study to tell us that though.
http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapi...ok_calvin.html
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Old 12-20-2010, 11:28 PM
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A two year old definately can "get" time out...you're not giving young kids enough credit, when my 11 month old would bite he got a smack on the hand, a firm "NO!" and 2 minutes in the playpen while everyone else got to play with toys, he's 12 months now and doesn't bite, ever....if a lab rat can learn to hit a lever to get a pellet of food, a 2 year old can learn "NO"

i'm a daycare provider, and let me tell you it gets old when i hear other providers say "kids bite, it's just what they do, we can't stop it" um, i'm sorry but it's your JOB to stop it, you are in charge of protecting and nurturing children! If you see Jack bite Jill, you pull Jack aside, you tell him NO he show him what he did to Jill and in he's old enough you make him apologize, if he's too young to apologize you put him in a crib, playpen, whatever for a few minutes and he will learn that biting = NO, and time out
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Old 12-31-2010, 01:20 PM
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Default Mom of a biter and a DC provider

I am just offering a new perspective that is all

I have read the thread and noticed a few people said that children often bite when they don't have words. My son (who is now 10) was a horrible biter. He bit children at the DC I worked at, chairs, his twin, me, whatever was close to him when he was frustrated. I tried everything, and believe me when I say everything. I do believe in spanking my own children and we tried that and every suggestion in every book and class i could find. It went on for at least a year.

As he got older, his speech issues that I couldn't get any one to take seriously since he was on the tail end of "normal" became more and more obvious. He did finally stop biting at about three. Today, at the age of ten, he is still well below the 1st percentile in almost every speech category but of course no longer bites. He can't read because of his disorders and cries frequently when frustrated, but no biting

I just want to offer hope to parents of serial biters, I thought we would never get through it but we did finally. I have had many children in my DC who were biters and just bullies and appropriate discipline usually put an end to it quickly. However, children who keep biting and nothing seems to work, please pay attention, there may be a deeper issue at work. Listen to your instincts and if you think something else is going on, keep pushing until someone listens. My son was never abused or anything like that but he was premature and when he was frustrated he couldn't express it. No amount of "giving" him words helped, although in other situations it might be a great help for children who just don't have the words but are capable of them. However, his speech and language processing disorders were just too severe.
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Old 06-13-2010, 03:33 PM
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Alot of times if a child is biting that much is because the worker is not watching the children the are to busy talking to there friends instead of taking care of the children. That happened when my son was in daycare, he would come home almost everyday with a bit mark on him and they would stay almost two weeks. Come to find out they were being left alone with no teacher in there and my son is was only 12 months old.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:22 PM
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Default sometimes the its not the biter who is the aggressive one

I've spent a lot of time watching my son interact with other children. (he is 18 months).

I have stopped him from biting 2 times total and he has bitten 1 time at DC.

He has an interesting temperment. He basically seems to have no fear of bigger children. If they try to take his toys or move him out of the way he almost never loses, no matter how big the other kid is. Smaller children he basically leaves alone, and he never goes out of his way to take things from others.

In all 3 biting incidents. It has been the case that he was provoked by a bigger child. The child he bit a day care previously scratched him across the face drawing blood. Both times they were in an altercation over a toy (my son had the toy and the other baby wanted it).

I havn't seen anyone say it yet, but I would bet that often its the child who was bitten that was the aggressor. I would think this is especially true if your child is the only one who is being bitten.

Last edited by Michael; 06-30-2010 at 01:27 AM.
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Old 06-30-2010, 08:27 AM
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Default Biting

It stinks, but it is a part of the daycare experience. I've been very lucky with the whole biting situation. I currently have no biters and I've only had biting incidents a total of 3 times in 6 years and none of them were major. I find that making sure that the kids know that I have my eyes on them is helpful. They think that I REALLY have eyes in the back of my head. It's funny when they look for them!
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Old 07-01-2010, 12:41 PM
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It stinks, but it is a part of the daycare experience. I've been very lucky with the whole biting situation. I currently have no biters and I've only had biting incidents a total of 3 times in 6 years and none of them were major. I find that making sure that the kids know that I have my eyes on them is helpful. They think that I REALLY have eyes in the back of my head. It's funny when they look for them!
Yep, biting stinks but it happens to the best of us!
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Old 07-28-2010, 07:49 PM
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Not all biting incidents occur because a teacher or 'worker' is not watching the children. How do you know that all teachers are 'talking to their friends' when this occurs? Your statement is a generalized blanket, and could not be further from the truth.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Talena View Post
Alot of times if a child is biting that much is because the worker is not watching the children the are to busy talking to there friends instead of taking care of the children. That happened when my son was in daycare, he would come home almost everyday with a bit mark on him and they would stay almost two weeks. Come to find out they were being left alone with no teacher in there and my son is was only 12 months old.
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Old 07-29-2010, 11:45 AM
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Not all biting incidents occur because a teacher or 'worker' is not watching the children. How do you know that all teachers are 'talking to their friends' when this occurs? Your statement is a generalized blanket, and could not be further from the truth.
Our biter here does it right in front of us. So fast that sometimes you can't get their name out and it's over.
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Old 08-27-2010, 01:11 PM
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my son is not quite two yet. he started biting after he was bit. We all have tried to stop this very awful bad habbit...he bite for all sorts of reasons and he bites for no reason at all. I do believe it is to get someones attention. It works for him. He gets put in time out. They call me and i come get him. I always make him apologize the the child he bites. And for those who say that it is bull when a parent states the child does not bite at home.. you have no idea what you are talking about. My child knows the punishment at home is more than a time out when they do something they are not suppose to...i am truely sorry for all those little children who are the victims that get bit over and over. my daycare has tried to do a positive reinforcement with my child..giving him treats and praise when he doesn't bite but it doesn't work everyday..only when they really stay on top of it...am i really soppose to punish him when we get home for something he has done 3,4,6, hours after he has done the biting?? i have takin him to the doctor and he says it just a phase to wait it out...ive researched biting in toddlers and done all the things they say so what am i, and parents with the same problem, soppose to do?? please anyone have any ideas? i guessing not for some toddlers they are just going to have to grow out of the stage.. my son has had a lot of ear problems and just got tubes put in. he has been behind in his speach.. so maybe that has something to with it.. i just dont know. i feel bad for all those kids but what to do????
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:49 PM
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my daughter never bit anyone until a child started biting her at daycare. normally, when i'd pick her up from daycare, i'd pick her up, hug her, kiss her, talk to her, etc. the day i walked in and saw the incident report saying she bit someone, i didn't pick her up or hug her. i said something like, "you do NOT bite! i am not happy!" i made her walk to the car and i didn't hold her hand or talk to her AT ALL. normally, i'd carry her and talk. she bit one more time after that and i did the same exact thing. she never bit again.


there was a girl biting my son every single day, multiple times a day and i was MAD!! biting is normal, but biting the same child repeatedly for no reason is not nomal. he's very sweet natured and would never bite back or do anything. it got to where he cried when we got close to the daycare because he knew he was going to be chewed on all day. i was there when the mother of the child who was biting picked her up one day. she walked in, picked her daughter up, hugged her, kissed her, and was rubbing her head as she was saying, "why are you biting?" in a little baby voice. OBVIOUSLY, that approach was not working.

kids bite other kids their age - so just because they don't bite their parents or siblings at home is no indication whatsoever of what they do at daycare with peers.

anyhow, i think dealing with your child who bites depends on the dynamic between you and your child. what i did with my daughter worked like a charm because she hated that i was upset and i made it CLEAR that i was. it's not being mean - it's being stern. biting HURTS and they need to know that you are very unhappy when it happens.
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Old 04-18-2011, 02:34 PM
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Angry My child is a victom of biting too.

Ok so In my case I run a daycare at my home. I have 3 chidren of my own and I watch 5 other children. The one year old that I watch is always biting my 8 month old child. I mean not just once a week, but 5-8 times a day!! If I walk out of the room to make a bottle or take another kids potty, At every chance he gets he bites. I have told the parents about it and all they say is to bite him back. Now I'm not about to bite a child so I put him in time outs. The child does not do it at home. The father says if he did it at home, it would stop real fast. Now, I'm at a loss of what I can do. My child looks like he was attacked by a dog. He almost always bites him on the head. And the parents don't really seem to show that they care. So now I'm asking you guys for tips to get a one year old to stop biting. Please help!!
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Old 04-18-2011, 05:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Ok so In my case I run a daycare at my home. I have 3 chidren of my own and I watch 5 other children. The one year old that I watch is always biting my 8 month old child. I mean not just once a week, but 5-8 times a day!! If I walk out of the room to make a bottle or take another kids potty, At every chance he gets he bites. I have told the parents about it and all they say is to bite him back. Now I'm not about to bite a child so I put him in time outs. The child does not do it at home. The father says if he did it at home, it would stop real fast. Now, I'm at a loss of what I can do. My child looks like he was attacked by a dog. He almost always bites him on the head. And the parents don't really seem o show that they care. So now I'm asking you guys for tips to get a one year old to stop biting. Please help!!
Personally, there is no way in the world I would leave an 8 month old unattended wih other children ever. Not to use the restroom, change a diaper or make a bottle.

Bring the baby with you, or put him in a pack-n-play.

If you leave an INFANT alone, especially with a kid you know is going to bite, the only one to blame is you.
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:35 AM
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Default I don't have small children anymore...

....but when my dogs start chewing on things and 'speaking' with their teeth, I offer them some 'teething aides'. I believe they may still make such items for children!?!
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Old 07-07-2011, 05:02 PM
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Post My son is a bitter!

My son will be two in september, he has been bitting since before he got teeth. It started by he would give "kisses" and just close down on your cheek. Well when he got teeth these kisses would hurt, so we did everything we could to put a stop to it! I went to work when he was 8 mths old had no problems with him when he was in the infant room. Then when he got to be a year old he was moved up and he would sometimes bit, well then all of a sudden he starting bitting. He would bite at daycare, at home, anywhere and anybody. He bit me many times and I would try many different things telling him "no", time out, popping, bitting him back, and even popped him in his mouth which I hated but it worked. He stop bitting at home and then after that stopped bitting at daycare.

Well then he started back, he starting bitting everything toys, children, and even himself. But he was still not bitting his father or me. At home he was just bitting his toys or himself so I would try to stay on him about not bitting. Well he stopped bitting again.

No just this week he has started back bitting children at school. He bit muliple times daily and even bit a boy in the face. I truly feel horrible for the other parents and children and I dont want them to think that I am not doing my job, becasue he has still not been bitting at home so I haven't been to punish him more harshly then "time out". I have talked to daycare teachers and director and we do have a plan of using a shadow person and when they can't stand by him then they will place him a play pen.

I don't think my son should be expelled and some of the posts hurt my feelings, I understand people's concerned especially if their child is getting bitten. But there are parents who care and daycares that care. I really hope that we can teach him that it is not ok to bite and to use his words. If this new strategy works I'll let you know!

Last edited by Michael; 07-07-2011 at 08:47 PM.
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  #98  
Old 07-07-2011, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
My son will be two in september, he has been bitting since before he got teeth. It started by he would give "kisses" and just close down on your cheek. Well when he got teeth these kisses would hurt, so we did everything we could to put a stop to it! I went to work when he was 8 mths old had no problems with him when he was in the infant room. Then when he got to be a year old he was moved up and he would sometimes bit, well then all of a sudden he starting bitting. He would bite at daycare, at home, anywhere and anybody. He bit me many times and I would try many different things telling him "no", time out, popping, bitting him back, and even popped him in his mouth which I hated but it worked. He stop bitting at home and then after that stopped bitting at daycare.

Well then he started back, he starting bitting everything toys, children, and even himself. But he was still not bitting his father or me. At home he was just bitting his toys or himself so I would try to stay on him about not bitting. Well he stopped bitting again.

No just this week he has started back bitting children at school. He bit muliple times daily and even bit a boy in the face. I truly feel horrible for the other parents and children and I dont want them to think that I am not doing my job, becasue he has still not been bitting at home so I haven't been to punish him more harshly then "time out". I have talked to daycare teachers and director and we do have a plan of using a shadow person and when they can't stand by him then they will place him a play pen.

I don't think me son should be expelled and some of the posts hurt my feelings, I understand people's concerned especially if their child is getting bitten. But there are parents who care and daycares that care. I really hope that we can teach him that it is not ok to bite and to use his words. If this new strategy works I'll let you know!
This is my take on this.. but I could be wrong

No judgement here on your parenting... just giving you my take

A bite to the face is going to be the last frontier in biting. Sorry but that's where the line is clearly drawn.

For the provider it comes down to: loose you or loose the other family. Once a bite to the face happens someone is going to leave. It's easier for them to have you leave because there is a good chance there will be another bite to the face on another kid.

Shadowing isn't going to work. The cost of the person to shadow your kid is more than you pay them. Your salary won't cover three hours of a shadow person a day. They have to make money off of you not loose money. They will do it for a bit to show it doesn't work and get the documentation they need to expel him without worry of repercussions from the state or the parents of the kids who get bit.

They are offering that to cover themselves and to protect themselves for what WILL happen in the future. They aren't doing it because they think it will work.. they are following the ONLY thing they KNOW to do that will show they have done everything they CAN DO. That's for the future upset parents, the documentation they need when they expell him, and the State should they are called by you after they term him or the parents after their kid has been bitten.

Gear up for a termination... they are telling you that they are at the last stage right before they do it. It looks like they are trying to help it or solve it but they KNOW it doesn't work. They just know they HAVE to do this one last thing before they expell him. When they report the next bite they will document that they had an adult right next to him.

Being a parent is HARD. Sometimes we have to give up a lot to do the right thing by our kids and our community. It's time to either stay home with him or hire an adult who can care for him with only way older kids or no kids in the house.

I don't know how to stop a child from biting once they have started. I haven't had a bite in seventeen years here. I've only had one bite in my eighteen years of doing child care. I know how to not get it started but I don't know how to stop it once it has started.

All it took was ONE bite in my first year and I knew that couldn't happen again.

Good luck and if you HAVE to have your kid in care then you need to start interviewing. Make sure you tell them about the bite BEFORE you go to interview. Weed out the ones that can't manage it.

Last edited by Michael; 07-07-2011 at 08:45 PM.
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  #99  
Old 07-07-2011, 08:50 PM
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Nan has great advise!! Love it!!

What I would do is inform your work that there might be a week where your going to have to leave early a couple times. They may not care about your personal issues but it's nice to at least give them a heads up and tell your daycare that they need to call you the moment a bit accures. That way you can deal with it on your own or dad for that matter. I used to work at a Christian School and that was the protocol in cases of biting. If your child isn't biting at home anymore it's bc he understands the consequences at home. He doesn't understand that at daycare. As soon as you walk in that door let the teacher bring the child that got bit and your child and then YOU need to address it with him w/the child that got bit. Others may not like this but you can take him out of the class room and to the bathroom where you spank him or you smack his hand or smack his mouth. Which ever works for you. With my son when he went through the biting faze he got suspended for daycare for 3 days and my husband picked him up from there right away at home my husband bit his arm. Not hard but enough pressure to understand that yes..that does hurt doesn't it. We never had another bit after that!! So he understood that biting hurts. Seems like since you dealt with it at home maybe taking the same steps you have at home need to be applied at daycare. Good luck!!
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Gear up for a termination... they are telling you that they are at the last stage right before they do it. It looks like they are trying to help it or solve it but they KNOW it doesn't work. They just know they HAVE to do this one last thing before they expel him. When they report the next bite they will document that they had an adult right next to him.
Nan is correct. Shadowing is the last step before termination. In your case, you need to start looking for a nanny NOW. Today. Group care is not going to work with a biter (specifically a FACE biter).

Typically bites happen on the back, shoulders, and arms of other children and usually in response to a frustration and a lack of verbal skills. Face biting is uncommon and in my experience more of a power move. Your child is experimenting with cause and effect. "When I bite my playmate, he screams, the teachers run around, I get attention, and I am in control." Everything in the room stops and all the attention is on your child. Every single time he bites, this is what will happen. In my opinion, bites like this come without warning and there is nothing that can be done to stop it in a group care setting.

Your child needs one on one care for an extended time to stop this behavior. Whether you or your partner stay home full time to deal with it or you hire a nanny to follow your methods, one on one care is the only thing that will stop it at this point.
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