We've only had the 1 year old girl for a few weeks, and she just turned one at the end of December. She doesn't feed herself at all. She won't pick up food and put it in her mouth. We have to feed her baby food because she acts like she can't chew up and eat table food. Last week her mom drops off and says she sat on the potty and peed on several occasions. Seriously?! They're worried about potty training her now?! Should we say anything to them? I have been looking for good milestone checklists to show mom how behind she is in her eating, or even moving her hands to her mouth, but haven't found any yet. Oh and she doesn't even try to walk yet either, just crawls.

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Ridiculous! Don't even discuss it with the mother.Just nod and smile when she says anything about potty training. How is she suppose to use the bathroom when she can't even walk?
Some people are so clueless!

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I've had parents tell me things their child can "supposedly" so at home too.

I just go about my business and unless the parent is actually asking me to do something, I don't worry about anything they tell me.

If this DCM is expecting you to participate in the training process, I would absolutely speak up and state your policies but if it has no bearing on you and your daily routine with the child, I wouldn't give it another thought. kwim?

As far as milestones/checklists you can probably find a good one by just googling it.

Have you tried talking with mom about the eating skills at all? Has it been brought up in any context by you or by her?

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Lol sorry have to chuckle at this one. Lol

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This I have a problem with..... You don't HAVE to do this, I certainly wouldn't.
How will she learn if you all keep spoon feeding her??

Potty training at this age when she cannot even walk is just something I would not even listen too.

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Do you have a potty training policy with minimum requirements? If not, make one and hand it to dcm.

Something that includes able to express the need to use the restroom verbally, able to pull up/down pants and underpants, get on/off the toilet unassisted, assist with wiping, hold it and remain dry for lengths of time.


What she is doing sounds like elimination communication. NOT appropriate in a child care setting.

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I have a dcg who is now 13 months. She started when she was 9months and was still on stage 1 foods. From 9 months until 12 months she wouldn't even attempt picking up food or even holding her own bottle! I finally got tired of it and as soon as she turned 1 I started ONLY providing finger foods. Dcm and I made an agreement that neither of us were going to so much as hold her sippy (she wanted us to hold it up to her mouth).

She finally got it. She was perfectly capable of picking up the food and holding her cup, but her parents never gave her the chance. Once they're hungry and thirsty they'll realize that they're just going to have to eat the food in front of them by themselves.

Now, if there was a concern that a child wasn't capable then of course that would be different.

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Potty training at one seems to be trendy by me. I know of a few different families that have done it. Basically they believe that it is possible bc in other countries people can not afford diapers for an extended amount of time and it is common for children to be trained after turning one. What I have seen is parents basically watching for a pattern from the child and putting the baby on the toilet at a time they feel the child already goes. It seems to me that the child is unaware of what is going on and ends up sitting there for an extended amount of time so that parents can catch them going potty. In every family that I have seen try this it has not worked. Parents get to brag that their baby is potty trained at one and they think they are great parents bc their child is oh so advanced. But eventually they all have some excuse as to why the child has regressed. I have heard that a vacation or preschool is to blame for the child no longer being able to perform. I suspect the theory is just flawed. Let babies be babies! Teach them to walk and talk and socialize first.

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Found out from mom that they spoil her at home and feed her. She is able to chew some table foods but they spoon feed everything to her. We asked if she was able to pick up the food and they said yes because she will pick it up and throw it on the floor to feed the dog. We have enough babies here that actually need help being fed because they're too young and can't, not that they are choosing not to. Oh and when she first came here at 11 months she refused to hold her own bottle. That changed quick! I understand wanting to spoil your first and only child in some aspects, but I surely wouldn't do it when it comes to feeding them.

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do you mind me asking if they are of a different nationality?

my husbands family is Filipino. My niece is 6 and they still spoon feed her every morning, noon and night. she CANNOT use a spoon, fork or knife at all. But she was PT very early.

I was very close to her DCProvider when she was in an in-home daycare. She would text me all the time saying I give up, she just won't feed herself.

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No I don't think so. At least they don't look it and their name doesn't look any different.

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Could be cultural. Despite my child being able to spoon feed before 12 months, at over 4 years old the inlaws would still attempt to spoon feed her. Well until she knocked the spoon out of her hand and said 'How many times do I need to say I AM FULL." Eating, and eating lots was important to them. A spoon feed child takes in more. They also never let her feet touch the ground, she was carried everywhere.

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the two are not related... and sitting before a bath and going is great perfect timing It does help when they take the next step. The child already knows how to relax and let the pee come.

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