Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Should I Inform Parents I Breastfeed?
bluemoose_mom 02:05 PM 11-26-2013
I just had a new baby. I breastfeed and will continue to do so until well into his first year (possibly longer, my first one nursed until 17 months).

Is this something I should inform my daycare parents of? I will obviously be nursing in front of my dck's. I currently do not have any children enrolled, as I was unexpectedly on strict bed rest after 19 weeks. I do not accept children under 12 months, so nursing/bottle feeding is not on my dcp's mind when we interview.

I don't nurse in front of stranger (personal preference, no haters please), so parents won't know until their kids mention it...
Reply
KidGrind 02:19 PM 11-26-2013
No, I think itís a personal decision. I am sure youíll cover yourself appropriately.
Reply
bluemoose_mom 02:25 PM 11-26-2013
That's the thing, I probably won't.

I mean, I'm not going to walk around shirtless or what not, but I won't have a cover. I'll just use my shirt to cover the top of my breast. The're going to see something, sooner rather than later. And kids are curious creatures, so unless they've seen someone nurse on a regular basis, they're going to be all over, asking questions.
Reply
KidGrind 02:30 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by bluemoose_mom:
That's the thing, I probably won't.

I mean, I'm not going to walk around shirtless or what not, but I won't have a cover. I'll just use my shirt to cover the top of my breast. The're going to see something, sooner rather than later. And kids are curious creatures, so unless they've seen someone nurse on a regular basis, they're going to be all over, asking questions.
Well if they ask, Iíd tell them the truth. At the end of the day, do what is most comfortable for you.
Reply
MamaBearCanada 02:31 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by bluemoose_mom:
That's the thing, I probably won't.

I mean, I'm not going to walk around shirtless or what not, but I won't have a cover. I'll just use my shirt to cover the top of my breast. The're going to see something, sooner rather than later. And kids are curious creatures, so unless they've seen someone nurse on a regular basis, they're going to be all over, asking questions.
Then I would mention it. Not because it's wrong but because some parents rightly or wrongly won't be comfortable with that. It's not like being at the mall where they can choose to move their child away if they don't like it. I breastfed while doing daycare but all the parents knew, plus I used a cover. If you know there is a good possibility someone else's child is going to see your breast then I feel their parents have a right to know. It may cause problems down the line if it is something they are not comfortable with and Jonny comes home telling them he saw Miss Blue's boob.
Reply
MissAnn 04:57 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by MamaBearCanada:
Then I would mention it. Not because it's wrong but because some parents rightly or wrongly won't be comfortable with that. It's not like being at the mall where they can choose to move their child away if they don't like it. I breastfed while doing daycare but all the parents knew, plus I used a cover. If you know there is a good possibility someone else's child is going to see your breast then I feel their parents have a right to know. It may cause problems down the line if it is something they are not comfortable with and Jonny comes home telling them he saw Miss Blue's boob.
I agree! I am very pro breast feeding and as a parent it would not bother me in the least. Not every parent will agree with your view. I had parents having a fit because I don't have kids shut the door when they go to the bathroom. They didn't want Little Susie to notice Little Johnny has a penis......they'd have a fit if they got to see my boobs.
Reply
EchoMom 05:04 PM 11-26-2013
I absolutely would not. That's a completely uncomfortable, odd conversation to have telling another grown person something so intimate.

I nursed my DS until 20 months. But after a year old, it was really only something that happened around bedtime or nap and it was private.

I only had 1 child 4 years old 2 days a week, the others were all ages 0-2 so they were pretty young and didn't really take notice. I didn't use a cover, but still, no child ever actually saw my breast because I covered with shirt, etc. I didn't overly worry about it, but I also didn't go exhibitionist style.

For me, I would rather keep my privacy from parents and cover up a little better so as not to have children mentioning it. Unless you have older children, I really don't think they'll ever even think anything of it if you don't make any big deal of it either.

I used to tell parents a lot more than I tell them now and I realize 99% of everything is none of their business and more often than not it just causes more drama and weirds them out when you do tell them too much.
Reply
TwinKristi 05:45 PM 11-26-2013
Yeah I had 3-5yr olds kids and when I nursed I didn't cover up more than my shirt.
Reply
SunnyDay 06:13 PM 11-26-2013
I wouldn't mention it. I have never told daycare parents that my own children or I eat, or breathe, or do any of the other things that are necessary to live . Breastfeeding is just a necessary part of having a newborn. If they brought it up, I would just say that I am as discreet about it as possible.
Reply
safechner 06:24 PM 11-26-2013
I am breastfeeding to my almost 5 months old son, I personally will cover up while I doing daycare. I am sorry I wouldnt front of any kids, not ever my older daughters. I refused to do it in public, too. I do nurse my son in my car or pumped the milk for him to drink the bottle if we are in the mall or something.

The best thing is to do cover up when you nurse your infant front of your daycare kids. Most likely, the kids will tell parents about it. It is up to you to let your parents know that you are breastfeeding. I wouldnt comfortable to leave my child in your care if you are not cover up. Sorry..
Reply
countrymom 06:41 PM 11-26-2013
I nursed my dd till she was 3 yrs old. I just covered up, I had a really pretty shawl so no one knew or I would use my sling which was great (I would walk around the store and feed her and know one knew)
Reply
Lucy 06:47 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by bluemoose_mom:
That's the thing, I probably won't.

I mean, I'm not going to walk around shirtless or what not, but I won't have a cover. I'll just use my shirt to cover the top of my breast. The're going to see something, sooner rather than later. And kids are curious creatures, so unless they've seen someone nurse on a regular basis, they're going to be all over, asking questions.
In that case, I would definitely tell them at interview. It's their decision as a parent to decide if they want their child to witness that. I'm not judging in the least... just saying what I think is the right thing to do. (Breastfeeding is a totally AWESOME thing to do, so please don't think I'm talking down on it.)

If it were me, and I was using something to completely cover, then no, I wouldn't bother saying anything. But you're going to have kids staring at that baby sucking on your breast, and they will be dumbfounded. I can guarantee they'll ask you and/or their parents what it's all about. If word gets back to parents who would have chosen not to place their kids with you if they had known, they'll be miffed for sure.
Reply
Lucy 06:50 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by MamaBearCanada:
Then I would mention it. Not because it's wrong but because some parents rightly or wrongly won't be comfortable with that. It's not like being at the mall where they can choose to move their child away if they don't like it. I breastfed while doing daycare but all the parents knew, plus I used a cover. If you know there is a good possibility someone else's child is going to see your breast then I feel their parents have a right to know. It may cause problems down the line if it is something they are not comfortable with and Jonny comes home telling them he saw Miss Blue's boob.
Yes... this. You worded it better than I did!
Reply
Scout 07:21 PM 11-26-2013
I most certainly would mention it in a casual manner in the interview. I feel they have the right to know if the child may see something of a breast. I BF my son for 18 mos but, this was before dc. I would always go upstairs in private when we were at someone's house or in my car like a PP said if we were out in public. I tried one time at a park and it made me VERY uncomfortable!
Reply
Texasjeepgirl 07:38 PM 11-26-2013
I breastfed my second daughter till she was 2 years 9 months old.
I don't recall that I went out of my way to inform any client that I nursed my child...
I didn't specifically cover up.. but I went out of my way to feed the daycare children and put them down for nap before 'nursie sleeping' my daughter for nap...(once she was older)

Reply
Unregistered 08:05 PM 11-26-2013
I can get a bit overly opinionated on this subject so I will keep it sweet and short. I breast-fed both of my children. One during my daycare career. Every time I used a cover, IMO children should not see their daycare providers breast. Breast feeding or not. In your situation I would inform the parents.
Reply
blandino 10:31 PM 11-26-2013
I would want to be told, if it was my child. For the simple reason, that I would want to talk to them about it, if they had not witnessed someone nursing before.
Reply
TheGoodLife 10:34 PM 11-26-2013
I nursed my DD3, who was 1 month when I started my daycare. I never went out and directly explained that I breastfed, but I would throw it into conversation during the interview- usually around pick-up/drop-off conversations. "If you are going to be early/late, please let me know as I schedule activities, nursing, and letting the dogs out around those times " I did have a couple older boys (3/4) that I tried a lot harder to stay out of direct view but I was lucky to never have an awkward moment with nursing and DC. Good luck
Reply
Lil'DinoEggs 02:55 AM 11-27-2013
I was breastfeeding when I starting my dc. I used a cover at first then when he got bigger i just used my shirt (I wore nursing tank underneath so very little skin was showing). I honestly never thought to tell my parents I would breastfeed in front of their kids with or without a cover. I am pretty sure I breastfed during an interview.


I have a mom that comes an breastfeeds and she uses her cover loosely around the kids. Again, I never thought before to tell the other parents. Some of them have seen her and they never say anything.

My first thought is that if you think it makes you nervous not telling the parents, then just tell them.
Reply
jenboo 07:47 AM 11-27-2013
Originally Posted by bluemoose_mom:
That's the thing, I probably won't.

I mean, I'm not going to walk around shirtless or what not, but I won't have a cover. I'll just use my shirt to cover the top of my breast. The're going to see something, sooner rather than later. And kids are curious creatures, so unless they've seen someone nurse on a regular basis, they're going to be all over, asking questions.
Here are my thoughts:
If you think the children are going to see something, I would let the parents know that I will be breastfeeding around the children. I wouldn't mention a cover/no cover unless they asked. I would just make them aware of the fact. That way, if little johnny comes home and says I saw Miss Moose's boobie, you could avoid the parents freaking out and making calls to report you for indecent exposure....that may be a little extreme but I would rather be safe than sorry.

My personal opinion: I would use a cover regardless of how pro i am towardsvbreastfeeding or how natural i think it is. Because of society being the way it is, I do not think a DCK should ever see their providers boob....or any other private area.
Reply
AnneCordelia 08:09 AM 11-27-2013
I wouldn't tell them. I nursed in front of my dcks and didn't use a cover. When the kids asked I simply said, 'I'm nursing baby. He's having lunch.' They never saw more than the back of baby's head. What would they say to their parents? I saw baby's head while he nursed. I only use t term 'nursing' so there was no language they might have disapproved of. If breastfeeding isn't seen as normal around toddlers then it will never be normalized in adult society.
Reply
TwinKristi 08:30 AM 11-27-2013
Originally Posted by AnneCordelia:
I wouldn't tell them. I nursed in front of my dcks and didn't use a cover. When the kids asked I simply said, 'I'm nursing baby. He's having lunch.' They never saw more than the back of baby's head. What would they say to their parents? I saw baby's head while he nursed. I only use t term 'nursing' so there was no language they might have disapproved of. If breastfeeding isn't seen as normal around toddlers then it will never be normalized in adult society.
If people didn't view breasts as sexual objects and "shield" their children from it more people would probably succeed at breastfeeding the recommended year. Instead women are shamed into covering themselves as not to expose everyone to their breasts! I have BF in public, at my daycare, in front of daycare parents and whoever happened to be around when my DS needed to eat. I was very shy and timid about it with my first kids, I didn't even actually breastfeed but pump for 6wks with my twins. I wasn't able to nurse my 3rd because of life-saving heart meds I needed to live after going into heart failure. My 4th was a struggle to nurse and I was always very uncomfortable and it didn't last long. With my 5th I was much more comfortable about it but sadly lost my supply at 4mos. I was bound and determined to BF my 6th until a year and I did. I had to go outside my comfort zone and was after a few weeks I was a pro. I nursed just about every place I went. If someone was against my nursing my child, I wouldn't be the right fit for them. I have a mom who wants to come nurse her baby on her lunch break (if I end up watching her baby) and I see nothing wrong with that. SHE may want to cover up for her own sense of privacy but there's no expectation of her having to do so nor should there ever be. Children who are raised to think that breastfeeding is NORMAL and NATURAL are more likely to have a successful breastfeeding relationship as adults whether that's as a mother or a father. My mom was NOT. She never breastfed my sister or I. My grandma didn't either. It was just generationally discouraged for many women. I am thankful to live in a time that breastfeeding is encouraged and promoted!
Reply
Blackcat31 08:38 AM 11-27-2013
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
If people didn't view breasts as sexual objects and "shield" their children from it more people would probably succeed at breastfeeding the recommended year. Instead women are shamed into covering themselves as not to expose everyone to their breasts! I have BF in public, at my daycare, in front of daycare parents and whoever happened to be around when my DS needed to eat. I was very shy and timid about it with my first kids, I didn't even actually breastfeed but pump for 6wks with my twins. I wasn't able to nurse my 3rd because of life-saving heart meds I needed to live after going into heart failure. My 4th was a struggle to nurse and I was always very uncomfortable and it didn't last long. With my 5th I was much more comfortable about it but sadly lost my supply at 4mos. I was bound and determined to BF my 6th until a year and I did. I had to go outside my comfort zone and was after a few weeks I was a pro. I nursed just about every place I went. If someone was against my nursing my child, I wouldn't be the right fit for them. I have a mom who wants to come nurse her baby on her lunch break (if I end up watching her baby) and I see nothing wrong with that. SHE may want to cover up for her own sense of privacy but there's no expectation of her having to do so nor should there ever be. Children who are raised to think that breastfeeding is NORMAL and NATURAL are more likely to have a successful breastfeeding relationship as adults whether that's as a mother or a father. My mom was NOT. She never breastfed my sister or I. My grandma didn't either. It was just generationally discouraged for many women. I am thankful to live in a time that breastfeeding is encouraged and promoted!
I absolutely agree. But that isn't your choice to make.

Since OP doesn't plan on covering up, she has an obligation to tell her daycare parents. The daycare parents can choose what, if anything they want to do with that info.
Reply
MotherNature 11:57 AM 11-27-2013
I tell people at the interview that I'm very open about breastfeeding. I still nurse my 3 year old. As I put it, you, your child, your spouse, etc...will see my breast eventually I'm sure. 3 year olds do not always nurse while cradled in your arms lovingly.. Gymnurstics! I refuse to use a cover, & I'm with the others who say that breasts need to be normalized in society, and not seen as a purely sexual body part. (Don't get me started on the patriarchal issues our society has with the perceived modesty and innocence of women.) I cater to a niche clientele, the majority of whom breastfeed & have done so on my couch. If they are not cool with it, it will not be a good fit. I'm not going to cover myself in my own home, especially since it's something I never do otherwise. My son won't even wear hats. So yes, inform the parents that you will breastfeed, without putting the baby under a blanket.
Reply
Meeko 12:13 PM 11-27-2013
I would either tell parents that you will be nursing openly, or don't say anything and make sure you cover up well. It's not your decision as to what their child sees when it comes to your breasts.

People like to say that society needs to stop sexualizing breasts. But the fact is they ARE sexual too...like it or not. And are not just viewed that way by men.

Some of the same women who say nursing is not sexual are the same women who will wear a low necked dress and a push-up bra when going out for the evening. Why? Because they KNOW their breasts look good and want to flaunt them. That IS sexual.

If it were me, I wouldn't say anything to the parents as that conversation could be a difficult one depending on their views/upbringing etc. But I would cover well and if a child asked what I was doing I would casually say that baby is having a snuggle. No need to "educate" a toddler any more than that.
Any education about breastfeeding should come from the parent when and how they choose.
Reply
cheerfuldom 01:00 PM 11-27-2013
I think if it is that big of a deal for prospective clients, they should say something. obviously you are a mother of a young one and if they really feel horrified at the thought of their child seeing a mother breastfeed, they should bring that concern up at interview. That is always how I have handled it and i have nursed four kids. I dont cover but I also dont expose myself unnecessarily. i dont have any of the kids ever be curious at all. The kids dont care and if they ask questions, I keep it very vague and direct them to ask mommy later on. i dont bring it up at interview. I personally feel it is the parents responsibility to ask about anything outside of the what is covered in the contract that they might have a concern with. I cant have the sole responsibility of discussing everything that may offend someone. They need to speak up at interview. I will say though that I do not nurse at drop off or pickup or in front of parents. I find that I can easily get baby on a loose routine where it is not at all hard for me to have baby otherwise occupied during the times that parents are here. I have done daycare for 6 years and have nursed four children, my one year old is currently nursing and no parent has seen me nurse.
Reply
Cradle2crayons 02:44 PM 11-27-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
I would either tell parents that you will be nursing openly, or don't say anything and make sure you cover up well. It's not your decision as to what their child sees when it comes to your breasts.

People like to say that society needs to stop sexualizing breasts. But the fact is they ARE sexual too...like it or not. And are not just viewed that way by men.

Some of the same women who say nursing is not sexual are the same women who will wear a low necked dress and a push-up bra when going out for the evening. Why? Because they KNOW their breasts look good and want to flaunt them. That IS sexual.

If it were me, I wouldn't say anything to the parents as that conversation could be a difficult one depending on their views/upbringing etc. But I would cover well and if a child asked what I was doing I would casually say that baby is having a snuggle. No need to "educate" a toddler any more than that.
Any education about breastfeeding should come from the parent when and how they choose.
couldn't agree more. I'm completely pro breast feeding, however, I would still not want my very young child to see their providers breast. Normalizing breast feeding and educating my child about it isn't the job of the provider. I would certainly NOT be happy if my child came home and said they saw their providers boob, even if it was during breast feeding.

Personally, although I believe there is nothing more natural than nursing, asking someone to cover while MY child is in view, shouldn't be an unreasonable request. Using a cover doesn't DEVALUE the experience.
Reply
Nellie 10:44 AM 11-28-2013
For myself I was never able to breast feed with a cover/blanket. It was more logistics that couldn't be worked out. Therefore I never nursed in public. Nursing tank tops used with a shirt let little to no skin show. When babies were tiny I would cover myself and baby with a blanket(throwing a nomal sized blanket over my entire body)to get attached then take it off. My babies seemed to dislike a blanket over there head and I almost needed to see baby to figure what was going on. My husband comes from a very pro breasteeding family and while they don't use covers I have never seen a boob or even skin. I think it is how you go about it. I always told my families that I would be nursing no one cared. I know a few prepared there child for it. Kids under 2 hardly make a big deal over it. 3 and 4 year olds are more courious.
Reply
Maria2013 06:03 AM 11-29-2013
Originally Posted by MamaBearCanada:
Then I would mention it. Not because it's wrong but because some parents rightly or wrongly won't be comfortable with that. It's not like being at the mall where they can choose to move their child away if they don't like it. I breastfed while doing daycare but all the parents knew, plus I used a cover. If you know there is a good possibility someone else's child is going to see your breast then I feel their parents have a right to know. It may cause problems down the line if it is something they are not comfortable with and Jonny comes home telling them he saw Miss Blue's boob.

Reply
cheerfuldom 08:49 AM 11-29-2013
Originally Posted by MamaBearCanada:
Then I would mention it. Not because it's wrong but because some parents rightly or wrongly won't be comfortable with that. It's not like being at the mall where they can choose to move their child away if they don't like it. I breastfed while doing daycare but all the parents knew, plus I used a cover. If you know there is a good possibility someone else's child is going to see your breast then I feel their parents have a right to know. It may cause problems down the line if it is something they are not comfortable with and Jonny comes home telling them he saw Miss Blue's boob.
see I think that if a parent is that concerned about the possibility, THEY should speak up before enrollment. Even if the provider is not nursing an infant, other moms could come in and nurse at many places so if a parent is that concerned, they need to speak up. I have nursed four kids here and no daycare child has ever seen my breast and I do not cover either. but it is very easy and simple to do something discreetly without having to be covered. really, the kids never care or talk about it anyway.
Reply
Blackcat31 09:13 AM 11-29-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
see I think that if a parent is that concerned about the possibility, THEY should speak up before enrollment. Even if the provider is not nursing an infant, other moms could come in and nurse at many places so if a parent is that concerned, they need to speak up. I have nursed four kids here and no daycare child has ever seen my breast and I do not cover either. but it is very easy and simple to do something discreetly without having to be covered. really, the kids never care or talk about it anyway.
I do agree that part of the responsibility should fall on the parents but I also know that a lot of parents don't know what things to ask and that a lot of things we consider appropriate are things parents might not so they don't think to even ask since they assume. kwim?

Just like the shower thread....do parents ask if you shower during the day at the interview or do they just assume that isn't something you would do.

Personally, I feel that if we, as the provider, are the one doing something that could be controversial, WE should be the ones to bring it up.
Reply
cheerfuldom 10:47 AM 11-29-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I do agree that part of the responsibility should fall on the parents but I also know that a lot of parents don't know what things to ask and that a lot of things we consider appropriate are things parents might not so they don't think to even ask since they assume. kwim?

Just like the shower thread....do parents ask if you shower during the day at the interview or do they just assume that isn't something you would do.

Personally, I feel that if we, as the provider, are the one doing something that could be controversial, WE should be the ones to bring it up.
That is too exhausting for me although I totally support others feeling differently. There are too many things that parents out there feel strongly about, there is no way I can address every single one at interviews.....we all know that parents are majorly upset about a huge variety of things that are not on our radars and I cannot bear the burden of addressing every single thing. I personally feel it is the parents responsibility just as much as a provider to communicate needs and expectations. if someone was to get upset about my breastfeeding and threaten to term, I am okay with that. I just am not going to worry about saying all of the possible things that may come up in the future and remember to talk about all of those at interview. I do cover the big things, like payments and such, at interview but other than that, I work with parents that have a trust in me. Either you can trust my judgment or you cant. This way, we don't even have to discuss random things like "what if a kid vomits on me, are you okay if i jump into the shower in case of emergency". We get to know each other and build a trust. I work with a small group and that is one of the reasons why. It has worked well for me! now for those of you that have strict licensing, large groups, multiple employees, obviously the things that I do may not work for you.
Reply
Leanna 08:16 PM 11-29-2013
Personally if I sent my child to a provider with a young infant I would assume she was nursing. I would hope that my child would witness warm, loving exchanges between the provider and her infant (whether bottle or breast feeding). If my child had questions, I would expect the provider to answer in an honest, child-friendly way. If I didn't trust in these things, I wouldn't send my child there.
Reply
Starburst 01:54 PM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I absolutely agree. But that isn't your choice to make.

Since OP doesn't plan on covering up, she has an obligation to tell her daycare parents. The daycare parents can choose what, if anything they want to do with that info.
I actually agree. If you covered I would say "if they don't ask you don't have to tell" but as a parent they do have a right to at least be aware of what their children will be seeing on a daily basis.
Reply
Tags:breastfeeding, parent notification
Reply Up