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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need A Backbone
MommyofThree 04:09 AM 02-29-2012
ok so monday a little girl came to my home with a rash and a nasty fever and the dad gave me meds to give her. first mistake. I should of told them that im not mat certified so I wont give them meds plus she needs to go home, Well she has strep so she stayed home yesterday.


Today a mom brought her son with meds today because he woke with a fever of 100. Its most likely strep due to the little girl having it. I should of sent her home with him!!!!!!!!! I am livid When do you send children home ?????? Now this crap is gonna spread. I need a back bone but scarec they will find alternitive care but To be frank I dont care no more. Im sick of the illness thoughout the home.


What to do
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Cat Herder 04:26 AM 02-29-2012
You already know what you should do....

I am sorry you are going through this. It is really hard the first few times you have to do it. After a while it gets to be second nature.

Now, with the little guy who had the 100 fever, did he have any other symptoms? I am not sure I would have sent him, either. It may be strep, but it may also be an ear/sinus infection, YKWIM? It would depend on how he was coping.

Sometimes it benefits us to define the terms in statements that are very short and clear for clients/parents. There is a lot of grey area otherwise. Granted the 48 hours out, mandatory, if they get sent home (vs. 24 hours if they stay home) seems to be a really good incentive.

For me exclusion is:

1. low grade fever with more than one symptom (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, lethargy, thick eye/nasal discharge, coughing, etc.)

2. too ill to participate (lethargy, diarrhea, vomiting, etc.)

3. 101 sustained for 30-45 minutes with or without symptoms
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MommyofThree 05:53 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
You already know what you should do....

I am sorry you are going through this. It is really hard the first few times you have to do it. After a while it gets to be second nature.

Now, with the little guy who had the 100 fever, did he have any other symptoms? I am not sure I would have sent him, either. It may be strep, but it may also be an ear/sinus infection, YKWIM? It would depend on how he was coping.

Sometimes it benefits us to define the terms in statements that are very short and clear for clients/parents. There is a lot of grey area otherwise. Granted the 48 hours out, mandatory, if they get sent home (vs. 24 hours if they stay home) seems to be a really good incentive.

For me exclusion is:

1. low grade fever with more than one symptom (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, lethargy, thick eye/nasal discharge, coughing, etc.)

2. too ill to participate (lethargy, diarrhea, vomiting, etc.)

3. 101 sustained for 30-45 minutes with or without symptoms
Thanks. He is just sitting on the couch not participating. He has thrown up but only feeling like he has to because hes only spitting in the toliet. His mom said shes going to try to have her sister pick him up.
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Ariana 07:43 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
Thanks. He is just sitting on the couch not participating. He has thrown up but only feeling like he has to because hes only spitting in the toliet. His mom said shes going to try to have her sister pick him up.
I think the first step in your new backbone is to call these parents right now to pick their child up!! No "trying" to have sister come either. Give them an hour and then call emergency contact. Tell them he has to stay home until he's better.

Good luck
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MommyofThree 07:59 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I think the first step in your new backbone is to call these parents right now to pick their child up!! No "trying" to have sister come either. Give them an hour and then call emergency contact. Tell them he has to stay home until he's better.

Good luck
Ok so she text saying she would come on lunch. This was at 9ish. She just text asking how he is? I said fever still up and she said did you give him meds. I didnt answer her question I just said its now 103.6 and he has to go home. No reply other then ok thank you. um so I put ? to her and no reply. So not CLUE WHATS GOING ON YET. omg im pissed
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AnneCordelia 08:25 AM 02-29-2012
You need to say the words. "Boy has a high fever and is throwing up. You need to have him picked up before 11:30am. Please let me know you got this message."
And then call her within 5 minutes to co firm if she doesn't text you back.
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Blackcat31 08:31 AM 02-29-2012
I would also refuse to let the child return with out a slip from the Dr. saying he has been tested for strep. Do NOT allow the Dr though to give permission to return to care. When he returns is up to YOU ONLY.

When he is finally picked up make sure you tell whoever gets him that he is NOT to return until he has been fever free for a FULL 24 hours without meds.

I would probably start calling back up/emergency contact people to have this child picked up immediately if mom is not going to respond or even act quickly.

I am sorry these parents are being so disrespectful to you.
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MommyofThree 08:36 AM 02-29-2012
Thank you to all. But one slight prob. Only her and dad is on blue cards He is laying on matt and sleeping . He didnt eat at all. I am not getting no response from them. I will call her to see whats going on!!!!!!!!!!!!
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bice99 08:39 AM 02-29-2012
Sorry My parents have 30 minutes to get here. Then it's $1 per minute late fees.
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MommyofThree 08:39 AM 02-29-2012
omg she says she goes on lunch at 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf do I do now. I want to term anyway because she is the one who come every other week and messing with my incomw. I need a set income so Im gonna term. Im done and so upset
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Blackcat31 08:42 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
omg she says she goes on lunch at 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf do I do now. I want to term anyway because she is the one who come every other week and messing with my incomw. I need a set income so Im gonna term. Im done and so upset
You text her back and say she has 30 minutes to get there or she is going to be termed immediately!! If she refuses then you tell her you are going to report her for being a negligent parent!

Have you called dad?
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MommyofThree 08:44 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You text her back and say she has 30 minutes to get there or she is going to be termed immediately!! If she refuses then you tell her you are going to report her for being a negligent parent!

Have you called dad?
He changed his number AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some other guy was on his vm so I contacted his girlfriend but so far no response. I dont know how to respond yet. I am sending out weekly letters.
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Breezy 08:44 AM 02-29-2012
Oh I would be so mad. I sent a kid home yesterday forvthe first time and she was back this morning and has been sleeping ever since. Got here at 5:30 and its now 9:45. I dont know why parents wont keep their kids home when theyre sick!! If my ds was sick you better believe I would be there as soon as possible no matter what. I dont care who would be upset. If my child had what your Dck has symptom wise I would not even think twice before coming to get him. Even if it meant losing my job! I really dont understand why this thought process isnt universal.
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Blackcat31 08:52 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
He changed his number AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some other guy was on his vm so I contacted his girlfriend but so far no response. I dont know how to respond yet. I am sending out weekly letters.
If this were me, there is absolutely no way I would continue putting up with this kind of disrespectful behavior.

I would pack up the child's belongings and have them ready for when mom does show up. When she shows up, you tell her you are done. You are no longer being treated so poorly and she is termed immediately!

You shold NEVER put up with bad behavior for the money. NO amount of money in the world makes being treated with such little regard ok.

YOU deserve better!!! You are the only one though that can demand it and get it for yourself. YOU have the power to not let this kind of thing happen again.

This mom needs to suffer the consequences of her poor behavior by losing her child care and losing it immediately. This is HER problem and you need to give it back to her.
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Cat Herder 08:54 AM 02-29-2012
DCM "My lunch is at 12".

Reply "He must be picked up now."

DCM "I can't leave until 12."

Reply "OK, I will call child services to get you some help with that. I'll text right back and let you know when they can pick him up for you.".

DCM "I am on my way."
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Breezy 08:56 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
DCM "My lunch is at 12".

Reply "He must be picked up now."

DCM "I can't leave until 12."

Reply "OK, I will call child services to get you some help with that. I'll text right back and let you know when they can pick him up for you.".
Curious. Is this something you would really say? If so, is this an idle threat or would you really do it?
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Cat Herder 09:05 AM 02-29-2012
I would ABSOLUTELY do it.

Refusing to pick up your sick child from daycare is a really big issue.

It is abandonment and we are mandated reporters.

I could be held liable for allowing the parent to delay medical treatment.

Now, you (Breezy) are working with Military families....that is a whole other thing.

You have to keep in mind the huge difference between "Can't" and "Won't" and set up emergency plans around that, in advance.. (consent to seek medical treatment forms)

Also, our CPS is fantastic and helpful.
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Breezy 09:11 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I would ABSOLUTELY do it.

Refusing to pick up your sick child from daycare is a really big issue.

It is abandonment and we are mandated reporters.

I could be held liable for allowing the parent to delay medical treament.

Now, you (Breezy) are working with Military families....that is a whole other thing.

You have to keep in mind the huge difference between "Can't" and "Won't".
Military families have to have family care plans in order for when they literally CANT come (and when they can't be reached). So thankful for those and they get into a LOT of trouble if those are not UTD.
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Blackcat31 09:12 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Refusing to pick up your sick child from daycare is a really big issue.


You have to keep in mind the huge difference between "Can't" and "Won't"

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MrsB 09:19 AM 02-29-2012
Just curious, melissa, what does your contract say about sick and pick up?

I have had a time or two where parents told me they will "come at lunch" or "be there in 2 hours"

My response, "This is not me asking what time you will be here. The 1 hour time clock just started. You now have 59:56 seconds to get here. See you soon." click.

That was enough to get them picked up in the hour. I dont know exactly what I would have done, but luckily it didnt get that far.
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momofboys 09:23 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
omg she says she goes on lunch at 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf do I do now. I want to term anyway because she is the one who come every other week and messing with my incomw. I need a set income so Im gonna term. Im done and so upset
I would TELL THEM when they do pick up that DCC is NOT permitted to return until FRIDAY - don't give them any option to return tomorrow. YOu know there was a high fever TODAY so no returning until at least FRI. good luck!
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MommyofThree 09:51 AM 02-29-2012
Ok so the dcb is gone. I told her he is not permitted back till the fever is gone for 24 hours with outmeds. Thanks everyone. I am ready to term
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e.j. 11:41 AM 02-29-2012
Originally Posted by MrsB:
Just curious, melissa, what does your contract say about sick and pick up?
I was going to ask the same thing. Several years ago, I turned one mom away at the door when she showed up with a sick kid. She never tried it again. The other parents who were there to witness it never tried bringing their sick kids either.

If you don't have a sick policy in your handbook/contract, I would get one together immediately and give copies to parents tomorrow to sign.

During interviews, I go over my sick policy word for word. I tell parents that I am very strict in enforcing it. Every once in awhile, someone will decide to test me on it but it doesn't happen often.
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Tags:enforcing policies - consistency, illness policy
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