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Parents and Guardians Forum>Found Baby In Swing With Propped Up Bottle
redvispa 02:47 PM 09-15-2013
Hello - I recently started my 6 month old son at a new day care facility. He's been there about 3 weeks now. Last week I showed up earlier than my regularly scheduled pick up time and found that he had been placed in a swing with a propped up bottle. When I approached him the bottle was half empty and he was sucking mostly air. He had spilled milk on his shirt and stains from milk that had spilled earlier. One of the caregivers was sitting near him feeding another baby and the other caregiver was taking care of the other infants.

I was incredibly angry and I picked up my child and went straight home. After I had calmed down, I called the Director directly and explained my concerns about having my child fed this way. She spoke to the staff and she said to me it would never happen again. It is my understanding that my state has specific laws against propping up bottles in a day care facility and so I am stunned that this even happened in the first place. Moreover, the facility's policy specifically states that all infants will be held when fed and that bottle propping is prohibited.

Although the director apologized profusely and assured me this will not happen again, I'm incredibly scared about returning to this facility. I'm thinking about pulling him out altogether. Am I overreacting?
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Cradle2crayons 02:51 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by redvispa:
Hello - I recently started my 6 month old son at a new day care facility. He's been there about 3 weeks now. Last week I showed up earlier than my regularly scheduled pick up time and found that he had been placed in a swing with a propped up bottle. When I approached him the bottle was half empty and he was sucking mostly air. He had spilled milk on his shirt and stains from milk that had spilled earlier. One of the caregivers was sitting near him feeding another baby and the other caregiver was taking care of the other infants.

I was incredibly angry and I picked up my child and went straight home. After I had calmed down, I called the Director directly and explained my concerns about having my child fed this way. She spoke to the staff and she said to me it would never happen again. It is my understanding that my state has specific laws against propping up bottles in a day care facility and so I am stunned that this even happened in the first place. Moreover, the facility's policy specifically states that all infants will be held when fed and that bottle propping is prohibited.

Although the director apologized profusely and assured me this will not happen again, I'm incredibly scared about returning to this facility. I'm thinking about pulling him out altogether. Am I overreacting?
I don't think you are over reacting. I would have done the same thing if I had found my child like that. Big no no in my book.

If they are breaking policy on this, what else are they breaking policy on.
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Familycare71 03:00 PM 09-15-2013
My only question is was it propped or was he holding it? If he was holding it but dropped it and no one noticed I wouldn't worry- if he isn't able to hold his own bottle then yes I would pull. In my state it is against regs to prop but not to have an infant hold their own bottle.
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Lavender 03:10 PM 09-15-2013
In the center I work in all bottle-fed children must be held unless they can hold their own bottle while sitting upright in a highchair. I would have been very upset. The caregivers must have either not known, or known and chose to do it anyway. Either way is not okay. I would suggest speaking directly to the caregivers to express your concerns. I would suggest waiting to make any decision until you hear their response, but as a parent I know I would be very hesitant to remain with the information known so far. Good luck!
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Cradle2crayons 03:26 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
My only question is was it propped or was he holding it? If he was holding it but dropped it and no one noticed I wouldn't worry- if he isn't able to hold his own bottle then yes I would pull. In my state it is against regs to prop but not to have an infant hold their own bottle.
this

I am not licensed but follow the state guidelines. And even though its not required of me, I would NEVER EVER prop a bottle. The only time I'm not personally sitting there feeding a baby is if they are old enough to feed themselves or if my daughter is personally feeding a baby. Ad only then if its okay with the parents. My parents all know she's completed the Red Cross program for teenagers and they trust with my supervision, she can correctly feed a baby. However, I ask all parents about is from the interview and if they had a problem wi it, I wouldn't do it.
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redvispa 03:46 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
My only question is was it propped or was he holding it? If he was holding it but dropped it and no one noticed I wouldn't worry- if he isn't able to hold his own bottle then yes I would pull. In my state it is against regs to prop but not to have an infant hold their own bottle.
He was definitely not holding his bottle as he's not able to so.
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Cradle2crayons 04:13 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by redvispa:
He was definitely not holding his bottle as he's not able to so.
If it were me, I'd report them to licensing. Mainly because the rules are no propping for a reason. And like I said before, if they are breaking that rule, what else are they breaking?
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Familycare71 04:22 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by redvispa:
He was definitely not holding his bottle as he's not able to so.
Then that is def a problem... I guess you would have to base your decision on your comfort level there. If you LOVE him being there and love the place itself AND trust the director to do what needs to be done then maybe it is worth trying. I would also make a habit of doing drop ins randomly. However if your gut is making you question him remaining there- move on. A moms gut is a powerful thing. And obviously if this isn't the first red flag- move on. All of course IMO.
You could also call your liscenseing agency (if you need help finding it post where you are and someone will help) to see what the regs are in your area.
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Cat Herder 04:41 PM 09-15-2013
I'd recommend reporting it to your State licensing.

If the provider made it one day as an employee, she must have already had training that this is horribly inappropriate (not to mention the other adult in the room also condoning it). Proping is Illegal in most states, many assuming it would be simple common sense.

**I understand the director stated she was very sorry about it. I am just not sure if she was sorry she did not train her employees or sorry that they got caught. Neither answer would be acceptable to me.
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DEBBIES DAYCARE 05:03 PM 09-15-2013
Truth be told, I have propped a bottle from time to time for my OWN children back in the day. They are all healthy, happy adults now. HOWEVER...its a different story for a place where you entrust your child's safety and welfare. You pay this place well, I assume. The employee has no agenda but taking care of children. You can cut corners with your own family at your discretion, but it is unacceptable in daycare. I never prop a bottle for my DCK's.
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craftymissbeth 05:07 PM 09-15-2013
A 4 month old infant died last week in my hometown because she choked while a bottle was propped in her mouth.

I'd report it regardless of your comfort level... like a PP said if they're doing that then maybe licensing should do have a visit just to see what all is going on.
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redvispa 05:13 PM 09-15-2013
Thank you all for the comments and advice. My husband and I have decided to find another facility to take him to because like someone above said, if they're doing this, what else are they doing that we don't know about.

Unfortunately we are in a bit of a bind in that we don't have a back up daycare option at the moment. What this means is that we'll have to take him back to the facility for at least one more week until we can find an alternate place to take him. Because of this I'm planning to speak to the caregivers directly on Monday and explain my concerns and that I don't want him to be fed this way. I'm definitely going to do random drop-ins and hopefully we can find a new place fast so that he doesn't have to there for too long.

I'm heartbroken that this happened in the first place. Going back to work has been a tremendously difficult decision for me and I spend a really long time searching for a great facility. I really thought I had found a great place and now I just can't shake this feeling that something is wrong here and that I need to get him out fast. I guess the bright side is that I caught this sooner rather than later...
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Heidi 05:22 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by redvispa:
Thank you all for the comments and advice. My husband and I have decided to find another facility to take him to because like someone above said, if they're doing this, what else are they doing that we don't know about.

Unfortunately we are in a bit of a bind in that we don't have a back up daycare option at the moment. What this means is that we'll have to take him back to the facility for at least one more week until we can find an alternate place to take him. Because of this I'm planning to speak to the caregivers directly on Monday and explain my concerns and that I don't want him to be fed this way. I'm definitely going to do random drop-ins and hopefully we can find a new place fast so that he doesn't have to there for too long.

I'm heartbroken that this happened in the first place. Going back to work has been a tremendously difficult decision for me and I spend a really long time searching for a great facility. I really thought I had found a great place and now I just can't shake this feeling that something is wrong here and that I need to get him out fast. I guess the bright side is that I caught this sooner rather than later...
I can understand why you would be nervous now.

I have 2 babies here who are now old enough to hold their own. When they were little and could not, I would place them both in their car seats facing me, and hold both their bottle for them. This way I could make eye contact and engage them, but not leave one crying for food while I fed the other. Ideally, both should have been held individually and fed, but sometimes their little tummies didn't cooperate with my plans.
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Blackcat31 05:31 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by redvispa:
Thank you all for the comments and advice. My husband and I have decided to find another facility to take him to because like someone above said, if they're doing this, what else are they doing that we don't know about.

Unfortunately we are in a bit of a bind in that we don't have a back up daycare option at the moment. What this means is that we'll have to take him back to the facility for at least one more week until we can find an alternate place to take him. Because of this I'm planning to speak to the caregivers directly on Monday and explain my concerns and that I don't want him to be fed this way. I'm definitely going to do random drop-ins and hopefully we can find a new place fast so that he doesn't have to there for too long.

I'm heartbroken that this happened in the first place. Going back to work has been a tremendously difficult decision for me and I spend a really long time searching for a great facility. I really thought I had found a great place and now I just can't shake this feeling that something is wrong here and that I need to get him out fast. I guess the bright side is that I caught this sooner rather than later...
I am sorry this happened to you. I would have been livid as a parent and I am really disappointed as a provider.

However, although I agree that propping a bottle is against the rules/regulations I have issue with the fact that you feel strongly enough about it to report this center to DHS and even mentioned feeling as though they are apt to break other rules as well but yet you are going to continue using them for another week??

I understand that you are in a bind but honestly if this is that important to you that you are heartbroken and sad and needing to report then remove your child today and do NOT have him return.

If you use the center this week because you are "in a bind", I feel that negates your anger about the issue and takes away any validity towards your concerns that other things may be happening.

As a client and a parent you can't have it both ways.

You can't feel strong enough about something wrong that you are willing to report it but then use the services because it serves your purpose for the next few days.
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Cat Herder 05:50 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If you use the center this week because you are "in a bind", I feel that negates your anger about the issue and takes away any validity towards your concerns that other things may be happening.

As a client and a parent you can't have it both ways.

You can't feel strong enough about something wrong that you are willing to report it but then use the services because it serves your purpose for the next few days.
Either you feel your child was in danger or you don't.

If you take him back, then report them for neglect/endangerment is that not neglectful endangerment by you? It has to work both ways.

***If you trust them to make the correct changes and take him back next week, then it would be wrong of you to report them. Period.

Surely you can see that.
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Familycare71 07:13 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Either you feel your child was in danger or you don't.

If you take him back, then report them for neglect/endangerment is that not neglectful endangerment by you? It has to work both ways.

***If you trust them to make the correct changes and take him back next week, then it would be wrong of you to report them. Period.

Surely you can see that.
Agree 100%!
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Cradle2crayons 07:22 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
Agree 100%!
I absolutely agree 100% . While I was encouraging pulling and reporting.... In no way would I encourage taking them back to that provider. I agree if you do so, you lose all credibility.

If you report and tell DHS at you sent your child back they are going to laugh you off the phone. And they should.
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redvispa 09:01 PM 09-15-2013
Thankfully, we have found a family member who will be able to watch him this week so we'll be able to pull him out immediately until we find an alternative.

And to clarify , I never stated above I was planning to report them to DHS. This was suggested by others. I was seeking advice about whether to take the Director at her word and expect changes or to pull him out. But, again, thanks for the advice.
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Familycare71 09:09 PM 09-15-2013
Originally Posted by redvispa:
Thankfully, we have found a family member who will be able to watch him this week so we'll be able to pull him out immediately until we find an alternative.

And to clarify , I never stated above I was planning to report them to DHS. This was suggested by others. I was seeking advice about whether to take the Director at her word and expect changes or to pull him out. But, again, thanks for the advice.
Just to clarify to me it doesn't matter if you reported or not- if you don't feel he is 100% safe he shouldn't go back.
I am glad you found an alternative. I hope you find the right provider for your family!
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TwinKristi 10:56 AM 09-16-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
If it were me, I'd report them to licensing. Mainly because the rules are no propping for a reason. And like I said before, if they are breaking that rule, what else are they breaking?
This!!

Originally Posted by redvispa:
Thankfully, we have found a family member who will be able to watch him this week so we'll be able to pull him out immediately until we find an alternative.

And to clarify , I never stated above I was planning to report them to DHS. This was suggested by others. I was seeking advice about whether to take the Director at her word and expect changes or to pull him out. But, again, thanks for the advice.
Even though you didn't suggest reporting to licensing, you should! And if they have a Yelp page or any other online review page I would let people know! That's not ok. I'm glad you were able to find someone else until the new place can take your baby, I was nervous just thinking of you having to send your baby back! But this is definitely something report-worthy. I cannot even imagine how livid I would be if there were several people there, every other baby was being held and fed but MINE! Regardless of what the director said, they also told you that to begin with, it should have never happened period!
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Unregistered 01:38 PM 10-07-2013
I wish more parents were educated on this. Most of the parents I've had over the years prop the bottle, especially 5 months and up. I would guess many providers do also. And...

I am curious if other providers have noticed this from their parents. And did this parent specifically tell this center not to do that before enrollment?

I wouldn't report them, BUT I would have been curious if this has been a practice and would have explained the dangers. For any infant I would find someone with very few kids, and only one infant at a given time. Myself I only take one infant because they require so much more attention.
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Brooksie 03:03 PM 10-07-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
If it were me, I'd report them to licensing. Mainly because the rules are no propping for a reason. And like I said before, if they are breaking that rule, what else are they breaking?

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Unregistered 03:39 PM 10-07-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:


Since it's a center they are not training their staff or watching them closely. Why wasn't it caught by the other daycare worker in the room?

I think the parent was smart in pulling the child out, but you would be surprised at how many people do this.
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Unregistered 07:41 PM 11-06-2013
You write that the other workers were busy with other babies.

"One of the caregivers was sitting near him feeding another baby and the other caregiver was taking care of the other infants."

You should read the daycare book about what really goes on in daycare, Doing Time. It explains why things like this happen. Not because your center is bad or because the workers are bad but because there are so many babies and only 2-3 workers. Babies eat all the time. Do the math and bottle propping becomes the norm in daycare. It is bad but it is the truth.
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Tags:bad providers, policy
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