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  #1  
Old 01-31-2010, 09:18 AM
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Ok, so I have spoken before that my assistants son is a bit wild. He doesn't feel he needs to stay in the playrooms and my assitant doesn't really enforce it. He continues to bring toys he wont share and I have to say something to her about putting them away. That being said he hasn't broken anything before Friday. On Friday he broke one of my daycare chairs. I tell them constantly not to rock in them, well he did and guess what. He broke it. Problem is, I am broke and I had just enough to fit all the kids, now I am down one. My assistant didn't even say sorry or speak to her son about his behavior that led to a broken chair.

I feel my assistant should have offered to deduct it from her check or brought me a new one. Am I wrong? My mom feels I just don't care for the child so I get annoyed easier. The problem is the kid is my sons best friend and my assistant is my friend so things have to be handled sensitivly. My concern is that Friday was a half day. In a couple of weeks they have a full week off from school. I can't afford to have him misbehave and break stuff everytime he is here for more than an hour.

My assistant does do a lot for me. I hate to complain about things. If the children are occupied instead of sitting around she will clean, do my dishes, sweep etc. Last week she brought her steam cleaner and did my carpets for me. I hate to sound ungrateful.

What is everyones thoughts?
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  #2  
Old 01-31-2010, 09:26 AM
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Wow that's a hard one since she's your friend. If she was just an employee I would say just take it out of her pay. But since she's a friend you don't want to hurt your friendship. This is why I would never get into a business with a friend. Business you and friend you are two different people.

I would talk to her and let her know that you don't have the money to replace that chair that her son broke and you really need to have it replaced. See if she offers.
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  #3  
Old 01-31-2010, 09:57 AM
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Wow that's a hard one since she's your friend. If she was just an employee I would say just take it out of her pay. But since she's a friend you don't want to hurt your friendship. This is why I would never get into a business with a friend. Business you and friend you are two different people.
I know! I went through months of interview and couldn't find anyone I felt comfortable being in my home or trusted. I should have waited it out until the right person came along. She has kids that come for free, eat for free and it was because we are friends. I have learned. I will not hire a friend or someone with children again!!
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Old 01-31-2010, 08:22 PM
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Is there any way the chair can be fixed or rigged together somehow? I'm not sure how old the boy is but this is what I did (and would do). We had a chair that had a small puncture in it and my son (3yrs) would pick at it. I told him to stop picking it before it became a big hole. Of course he picked at it some more and the small nick became a large hole. I told him that because he did not listen to me the chair doesn't look very nice now and since he was disobedient this was now HIS chair. I put some duct tape on it to cover the hole and whenever we sit at the table, he has to use that chair. He wasn't happy at all but whenever he would pout I would just remind him why that's his chair. About a week after that I decided to assign everyone a chair so I put names on all the chairs and that has cut down on the bickering. So, with all that being said, you could tell your assistant that since her son wasn't following the rules when he broke the chair, the broken chair has to be his chair. If it is beyond repair, then he has to sit on the floor until you can afford to replace the chair. If she gets upset, you can tell her that she is welcome to bring a chair from home for him.
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Old 01-31-2010, 08:55 PM
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Is there any way the chair can be fixed or rigged together somehow? I'm not sure how old the boy is but this is what I did (and would do). We had a chair that had a small puncture in it and my son (3yrs) would pick at it. I told him to stop picking it before it became a big hole. Of course he picked at it some more and the small nick became a large hole. I told him that because he did not listen to me the chair doesn't look very nice now and since he was disobedient this was now HIS chair. I put some duct tape on it to cover the hole and whenever we sit at the table, he has to use that chair. He wasn't happy at all but whenever he would pout I would just remind him why that's his chair. About a week after that I decided to assign everyone a chair so I put names on all the chairs and that has cut down on the bickering. So, with all that being said, you could tell your assistant that since her son wasn't following the rules when he broke the chair, the broken chair has to be his chair. If it is beyond repair, then he has to sit on the floor until you can afford to replace the chair. If she gets upset, you can tell her that she is welcome to bring a chair from home for him.
Good idea.

I never thought that maybe you might be able to fix it. I don't know what kind of chair it is. But you can buy an epoxy glue. I just bought some at the local big lots for $1.50 (most hardware stores will have it). It looks like two tubes together and when you squeeze some out you mix it together and it will hold about anything. We used it on DS plastic toy bin that he broke and it glued the plastic back together.
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Old 02-01-2010, 03:40 AM
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That is a great idea! I feel stupid I never thought of duct taping it. I don't think glue would work. I am not crazy about how it will look to prospective parents, but it could be explained or put out of the way during interviews. The boy is 8, definately old enough to comprehend and follow the rules. When mom is here he doesn't think he has to because she works here. He is my sons best friend but this attitude is hurting their friendship. My son told him "well my mom owns this and pays your mom but I can't do that" I loved it! I thought that was an aweseome response for a 7 year old!

Thanks for the idea.
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Old 02-01-2010, 04:18 AM
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I don't know what kind of chairs you had, but at age 8, he may just be too big for them. I understand he was rocking it, but still, too big maybe? I think you should handle it the same way as you would of handled it if it was another child in your care. What is your policy. Also, I would tell him he is not allowed to sit in them anymore. I would talk to the mom too. You need to address his behavior when he is there. Easier said than done I know.

It must of been the week for "chairs", as my almost 3 yr old managed to rip the crap out of mine on Friday. I had H. sitting at a table doing an activity....he had been a hellion and I had enough of his crap, so I put him at the table. My tables and chairs are the little folding sets you can get from WalMart or Walgreens. Table is about $10, chairs $5 when on sale. They are covered in vinyl. So H. decides to use the corner of the blocks and embed them into the seat of the chair. He twist and turned the corner until he had a hole, then he ripped the hole bigger and put over 5 tears in it. I was so pissed. That is simply uncalled for. I put him on time out, then I told him he was no longer allowed to sit on my chairs. Period. He can stand or sit on the floor. I don't tolerate being destructive. I debated on telling his parents......cause really, what are they going to do. I just decided I would handle it here. So when mom picks up, H. tells on himself and how he ripped the hole. Mom says to H. do you want me to take money out of your piggy bank to buy a new chair? I am thinking yea right, this will be the end of ever hearing about it. I am serious about the not sitting in the chairs. This kid is a brat. He can stand or sit on the floor, his choice. I will decide when he can resume the chairs. Why kids have to be so destructive, I don't know.
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Old 02-01-2010, 07:06 AM
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I have it in my contract that damage to my home or property due to willful destruction of property will be charged to the parent, and that they are expected to reimburse me for the cost of replacement within two weeks.

I don't know that I'd take the chair out of her pay this time, but I think I'd tell your friend that her child MUST follow the same rules as the other children, and that she MUST help you to enforce that. Her son not following the rules sets a bad example for the other kids and undermines your authority (and hers, really). I know she's your friend, but it's your business!
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Old 02-01-2010, 07:07 AM
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If it was a daycare child I would not allow them to sit in it anymore. I don't want my assistant getting upset but I feel since she didn't handle it, I have to address it. The chairs say they are good for 80lbs. He is smaller than this though.
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  #10  
Old 02-01-2010, 07:19 AM
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You are in a tough situation because it is your friend.

Sounds disrespectful to me...I know if it were my child I would be sympathetic and offer to replace it or pay for it out of my check. But some people don't seem to think like that.

It is much easier to feel annoyed when he comes there for free and eats for free....I don't blame you a bit. I think it would be much easier to feel forgiving if you were getting a good payment from them.
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:43 AM
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It is much easier to feel annoyed when he comes there for free and eats for free....I don't blame you a bit. I think it would be much easier to feel forgiving if you were getting a good payment from them.
I think you may be right and I really hate to feel that way. If I was getting paid I would just say ah, it's the cost of business but I am not getting paid so I think: Ugh, I have to pay your mother so that you can run around, disobey the rules, and break things and then I have to pay for what you break! I really don't want to be "that" person...
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:04 PM
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I think you may be right and I really hate to feel that way. If I was getting paid I would just say ah, it's the cost of business but I am not getting paid so I think: Ugh, I have to pay your mother so that you can run around, disobey the rules, and break things and then I have to pay for what you break! I really don't want to be "that" person...
Did you ever discuss with your friend your thoughts about them staying home with dad/boyfriend??
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Old 02-02-2010, 07:01 AM
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Did you ever discuss with your friend your thoughts about them staying home with dad/boyfriend??
I did say something not so direct about it and basically she said that dad is working odds and end jobs and if she can be with her kids she wants to. I completely understand, I think we all do as that is probably the reason all of us started this career choice.
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Old 02-02-2010, 07:07 AM
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I did say something not so direct about it and basically she said that dad is working odds and end jobs and if she can be with her kids she wants to. I completely understand, I think we all do as that is probably the reason all of us started this career choice.
Totally understand that in this economy. Hope you are able to have the patience to deal with her son. Sounds like a hard situation! Hugs to you!
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Old 02-02-2010, 07:13 AM
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I did say something not so direct about it and basically she said that dad is working odds and end jobs and if she can be with her kids she wants to. I completely understand, I think we all do as that is probably the reason all of us started this career choice.
I completely understand this, too, but if she wants her children to be able to be with her, she has to be much more proactive in making sure they are not a disruption or a nuisance when they come to work with her.

It aggravates me that someone can come into your home, allow their child to break something, and then act as though they have no personal responsibility whatsoever to take care of it. This is a huge problem in our society today. No personal responsibility. She has a very real opportunity to teach her son a valuable lesson here about what happens when we are not careful with others' things.

It's so difficult to discuss these kinds of things when the offender is a friend, though. I feel for you.
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Old 02-02-2010, 05:07 PM
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It aggravates me that someone can come into your home, allow their child to break something, and then act as though they have no personal responsibility whatsoever to take care of it. This is a huge problem in our society today. No personal responsibility. She has a very real opportunity to teach her son a valuable lesson here about what happens when we are not careful with others' things.
I feel the same way! I thought maybe I was just getting too old and finicky! My child would be held accountable.
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