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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Am Burnt Out
Laura5287 03:42 AM 03-10-2015
I have been struggling with this since Christmas. I just can't get into loving what I do anymore. There are so many things that have happened that I don't feel like the same person. I think more personal than daycare. In Jan. 2014 I had a complete hysterectomy...May of 2014 we lost our dog of 10 years to cancer and then in August of 2014 I lost my dad. It just seems to be getting worse everyday. On top of it all, my 3 year old daycare child seems to have lost his mind lately. I have posted on the subject of 3 year old kicking screaming and using bad language. It has gotten better since I use a lot of choices now. We are also in the middle of potty training which he thinks his pull ups are still diapers. Which I know is potty training.
I only have 2 boys right now. I could have 6. I just can't seem to get back into it. I don't know what to do
Any suggestions. (ps, I have already went to the dr for help)
Thanks
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Play Care 04:33 AM 03-10-2015
Can you take some time off to recharge? Make an appointment to talk to someone? It sounds as if you've had a tough time and may be dealing with situational depression.

I also find that sometimes I get more burnt out with LESS kids than with more, KWIM? Less kids on occasion can mean a break, but on a daily basis it means more work for me less kids to play with, less kids to change up the mix, etc.

There is a great sticky post at the top of the forum about tips for provider burn out which you may find helpful.


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Gemma 04:40 AM 03-10-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I also find that sometimes I get more burnt out with LESS kids than with more, KWIM? Less kids on occasion can mean a break, but on a daily basis it means more work for me less kids to play with, less kids to change up the mix, etc.

There is a great sticky post at the top of the forum about tips for provider burn out which you may find helpful.

I agree with that, although it seems crazy to take on more kids when you struggle to cope with the two you have, I think you should....maybe take a couple of weeks off first
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mamamanda 06:13 AM 03-10-2015
I struggled with this so much last year. I had a lot of personal issues also, as well as struggling with a dcb with a lot of behavior issues. Plus I was pregnant which I was thrilled about, but very sick. I took an extended maternity leave and then came back fresh. I love my job again. I don't know if you can afford some time off, but if you can it would probably work wonders. I took a few months off, but even just a few weeks could help. Either you will find that your love for it returns, or you'll realize you really are ready to do something else. In the meantime, get outside as much as you can, plan easier meals, hire a helper for a day or two a week, anything to make your day easier. Prayers for you!
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Laura5287 09:27 AM 03-10-2015
I don't have any problem taking the time off, as I do this because I love it(still hoping I do) not because I have to work or make any money. The problem is with the parents. When my dad was dying, both parents gave me a hard time when I said I needed time off and that was even with my daughter taking over for a bit. I bend over backwards for these people but when I really needed them to understand they chose to give me a hard time. When the time came and he passed on, I was back at work the next day because they couldn't find anyone else that their child would not have a fit with. It was not fair for my daughter to deal with all of that because it was her grandfather also. I do feel like maybe I do need a break but not sure what will happen if I do.
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Gemma 09:41 AM 03-10-2015
So why not close, get rid of these families and re open in a few weeks, start fresh with new families?
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Play Care 10:02 AM 03-10-2015
Originally Posted by Laura5287:
I don't have any problem taking the time off, as I do this because I love it(still hoping I do) not because I have to work or make any money. The problem is with the parents. When my dad was dying, both parents gave me a hard time when I said I needed time off and that was even with my daughter taking over for a bit. I bend over backwards for these people but when I really needed them to understand they chose to give me a hard time. When the time came and he passed on, I was back at work the next day because they couldn't find anyone else that their child would not have a fit with. It was not fair for my daughter to deal with all of that because it was her grandfather also. I do feel like maybe I do need a break but not sure what will happen if I do.
Honestly that would have been grounds for immediate termination. It sounds as if you've had a rough time as it is, and the lack of respect and understanding from these parents has added to it. Two words: BUH-BYE.

The way I see it you can do a few different things. You can send out a letter today giving everyone two weeks notice that you are closing your day care to focus on others things. And then do it. You can always start back up again when you are feeling stronger, in a better place, etc.

Or, start interviewing to get different families in NOW, being very firm/upfront about your policies (including time off, them having back up care, etc) and once you sign them on, give notice to the current families. No time off but a fresh start. If you're someone who does better with being busy, this may be ideal.

I am getting calls now for September care, so if it's simlar in your area, you can always sign clients on with that start date and close your day care now until 9/1. That way you can get the best of both worlds - extended time off, but with clients already on board.

As for your current clients, they might hem and haw, but too bad. You don't work for them. And you get to decide who stays and who goes. It's one of the benefits of being your own boss

But I do think taking charge and making some decisions NOW might help you move on. I call it my "kicking butt and taking names" mode
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Controlled Chaos 01:37 PM 03-10-2015
Originally Posted by Gemma:
So why not close, get rid of these families and re open in a few weeks, start fresh with new families?

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e.j. 02:31 PM 03-10-2015
Originally Posted by Gemma:
So why not close, get rid of these families and re open in a few weeks, start fresh with new families?
If you don't need the money, take a much needed break. Rest, relax, recharge and then start over again once you feel ready.
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Laura5287 04:36 PM 03-10-2015
I have taken care of the three year old since he was 8 weeks and feel like he is my own. I have known the family for years now. I feel like if I take a break I will be abandoning him. I have him for 50 hours a week. He knows all his letters, numbers up to ten, knows more than 30 signing cards and he tells me he loves me everyday with a big hug around my neck. How do I give that up?
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rosieteddy 10:21 AM 03-11-2015
I really know what your feeling.I had a heart attack Feb 19th.I made the decesion to close at this time.I felt that the children would just be settling into new care and then be brought back. I was under orders not to lift anything over 10lbs and to take it easy.I was put on 9 new meds and have Dr appointments 2 times a week at first. I was very upset and miss the children terribly. I had one family 8 yrs and 3 children "my'' babies have been here since 12 weeks. It has been tough but I new in my heart it was the best thing for all.I am going to each house this week to see the kids and bring their goodbye gifts.After running the child care for almost 30 yrs it is time. I can not say I will not do some kind of childcare in the fall but this group will move on.Do what you feel is best and take care of yourself.I know I felt good about the 3 yr olds going to the local preschools. More kids to play with and I gave them the 1 on 1 they needed as infants .
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grateday 11:21 AM 03-11-2015
Originally Posted by Laura5287:
I have been struggling with this since Christmas. I just can't get into loving what I do anymore. There are so many things that have happened that I don't feel like the same person. I think more personal than daycare. In Jan. 2014 I had a complete hysterectomy...May of 2014 we lost our dog of 10 years to cancer and then in August of 2014 I lost my dad. It just seems to be getting worse everyday. On top of it all, my 3 year old daycare child seems to have lost his mind lately. I have posted on the subject of 3 year old kicking screaming and using bad language. It has gotten better since I use a lot of choices now. We are also in the middle of potty training which he thinks his pull ups are still diapers. Which I know is potty training.
I only have 2 boys right now. I could have 6. I just can't seem to get back into it. I don't know what to do
Any suggestions. (ps, I have already went to the dr for help)
Thanks
Ok I read this and I think it is time for you to really step back from childcare and apply for other simpler work or take a break to grieve if you can afford. Sounds like you are doing good by taking on less kiddos and there parents. Hysterectomy too you might want to get your hormones levels checked too as this can also impact your mental health but you might have already done this.

Also a good psychologist can help or grievance counselor. The ones who work with Hospice are very helpful. Make healthy choices for yourself as hard as it might be and stay away from maladaptive coping behaviours if you can. Think of all that you have done that is right for your dad. Pretend to talk to him as if he is listening and imagine how he might respond. Have a ritual for your dad on his behalf. Use your imagination. Now is time for you and healing. You need it to function. Take time to care. Cry. Crying is good for you. It releases toxins and heals. Talk to family daily. Do something in honor of him. It is a longer road of grieving and everyones journey through it varies and everyone goes through it in different ways. Don't forget to nourish your body with proper nutrients. Feel free to send me private messages and I can send more love and support
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riverglen 10:32 AM 03-24-2015
I have been doing in home care for about a year and I have recognized a lot over this time . I had some health issues that i needed to have an ultra sound have never closed for anything but national holidays. It was like pulling teeth for theses parents i ended up having to take one of the kids with me to the OB-GYN / Thank goodness my husband was there to help out as he is working out of town.

On another note i have 4 children that i care for all are 2 months from being 4 and i one child that is 2 1/2 when I asked where is he on potty training ...."oh he is almost potty trained. first day in bottle in hand and paci in the mouth and screams every time i sit him on the potty needless to say i am really upset . He was in another group home situation that is clear to see they did nothing to help him so ...... I have put myself on a timeline that if i stay frustrated or unhappy about what I am doing that as of August i will send a letter to all the parents that I will be closing in 1 year that gives parents enough time to make other arrangements for children after school care and the other one time to get ready for another center or home. It will also break contract if they find alternate care . I have been doing this since i was 17 and now almost 34 I have done the director, teacher and home provider and i think it is time to turn the page. it is really important for me to continue to do my best by the kids , but parents expect a lot for a little and that is just the way it is.... I hope you find the answers you are looking for i had to just vent myself because unless you do this for a living there is no way people understand it.
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Annalee 10:43 AM 03-24-2015
Originally Posted by riverglen:
I have been doing in home care for about a year and I have recognized a lot over this time . I had some health issues that i needed to have an ultra sound have never closed for anything but national holidays. It was like pulling teeth for theses parents i ended up having to take one of the kids with me to the OB-GYN / Thank goodness my husband was there to help out as he is working out of town.

On another note i have 4 children that i care for all are 2 months from being 4 and i one child that is 2 1/2 when I asked where is he on potty training ...."oh he is almost potty trained. first day in bottle in hand and paci in the mouth and screams every time i sit him on the potty needless to say i am really upset . He was in another group home situation that is clear to see they did nothing to help him so ...... I have put myself on a timeline that if i stay frustrated or unhappy about what I am doing that as of August i will send a letter to all the parents that I will be closing in 1 year that gives parents enough time to make other arrangements for children after school care and the other one time to get ready for another center or home. It will also break contract if they find alternate care . I have been doing this since i was 17 and now almost 34 I have done the director, teacher and home provider and i think it is time to turn the page. it is really important for me to continue to do my best by the kids , but parents expect a lot for a little and that is just the way it is.... I hope you find the answers you are looking for i had to just vent myself because unless you do this for a living there is no way people understand it.
I have said many times, FCC is isolating. Plus working from home is NOT for everyone, because the outside world views working from home as NOT WORKING Walking in the outdoors at least 30 minutes a day can work wonders. Networking with peers is another MUST. When you throw in licensing/QRIS/client/home/church/family/ etc., every thing begins to run together and a provider feels like they are drowning......Bottom line for me is, I HAVE TO HELP SUPPORT MY FAMILY so why not do that with a job I LOVE/CAN BE MY OWN BOSS. I am an OCD Type A personality so when things get a little haywire/unorganized, I get frustrated. I am a routine/block of time kind of person. The best thing a provider can do is get inside their own self and weigh out the pros and cons. Do what works for you! It doesn't mean you fail if you move on to something else, but make sure that "something else" will be a better venture. best wishes!
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