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  #1  
Old 01-05-2012, 01:42 PM
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Default Child Abuse at Daycare

Have any of you ever suspected child abuse at your daycare? I am speaking of physical abuse (spanking, and hitting child with objects). My Mother is a foster parent and she was taking her foster kids to a daycare and all the sudden the daycare called CPS because of a mark on his bottom (bruise).... We are sure that the child care provider hit him or some other adult in her house did it. Apparently she has been in the middle of these situations prior to this (2 times) (to me that sounds pretty fishy). So she is supposidly potty training him/along with my mother, and they agreed, that they will take him to sit on the toilet every 1 hour.
So get this, she got the kids at 11:15am and she didn't call to report it until after 3pm! she said she seen the bruise when she took him potty. I don't think she thought that lie through very well, if she is potty training him, obviously she is because that is how she found it, then why didn't she see it much earlier (surely she took him potty before 3 pm (a 4 hour time span-which included lunch and nap).
I am hoping to find someone who had a similar experience with this daycare provider and would be willing to share with me.
Thank you,
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Old 01-05-2012, 01:53 PM
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I guess I don't really have much advice but I wanted to say that perhaps she (the provider) was lying about assisting with toilet training and didnt actually take the child to the toilet and did see a mark when she did bring him or when she changed him..don't know but am only speculating as many things could have happened and unless the child can speak, no one will really ever know the whole truth.

Also as a child care provider, if we do see marls or bruises on a child we are mandated reporters and are required by law to report what we see or suspect. I cannot say in this case, since many details are missing and all sides of the story are not presented but I am wondering why the child was even put into a child care situation that seems sketchy already...(you said the provider is/was already involved in some other questionable situations).

I can also say that I don't think you will have much luck finding someone on this forum who has been in this same daycare before since we don't share names but I suppose I could be wrong....stranger things have happened.

If you have any suspicions about this provider or the care she is providing, my advice would be to call CPS and let them know of your concerns and also to advise your mother to not allow the child to return to this caregiver if she feels it is unsafe for the child.
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Old 01-05-2012, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nm08briggy View Post
Have any of you ever suspected child abuse at your daycare? I am speaking of physical abuse (spanking, and hitting child with objects). My Mother is a foster parent and she was taking her foster kids to a daycare and all the sudden the daycare called CPS because of a mark on his bottom (bruise).... We are sure that the child care provider hit him or some other adult in her house did it. Apparently she has been in the middle of these situations prior to this (2 times) (to me that sounds pretty fishy). So she is supposidly potty training him/along with my mother, and they agreed, that they will take him to sit on the toilet every 1 hour.
So get this, she got the kids at 11:15am and she didn't call to report it until after 3pm! she said she seen the bruise when she took him potty. I don't think she thought that lie through very well, if she is potty training him, obviously she is because that is how she found it, then why didn't she see it much earlier (surely she took him potty before 3 pm (a 4 hour time span-which included lunch and nap).
I am hoping to find someone who had a similar experience with this daycare provider and would be willing to share with me.
Thank you,
She may have seen the mark earlier but waited to make the call until nap time...
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Old 01-05-2012, 05:16 PM
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Sorry, not enough information here. Even if she took himn potty every hour, she may not have been standing in a spot where she saw a mark. Taking care of multiple children doesn't give you a lot of opportunity to stare at their behinds!
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Old 01-05-2012, 05:35 PM
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I had a 3 yr old who had a large bruise on his thigh, acually on both sides. So I asked him, and he told me that his brother hit him (which this is a family who allows kickboxing) so I asked dad and he said the same thing. so before jumping to conclusions, the provider should have asked, this is bad on her part. Also if it was consistant, like she noticed it all the time, then yes she should have called.
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Old 01-06-2012, 06:42 AM
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It totally depends on the bruise. I see bruises on kids all the time, but I rarely suspect abuse.

99% of the bruises I see on the bottoms are from kids falling on a toy... or they slip on the way out the door, and fall on the rail of the sliding glass door, or they stand up and fall down on a toy in the bathtub.

I can't even keep track of how many kids here fall on a toy and hurt their bums. So, bottom bruises don't even get a raised eyebrow from me... unless I think there are other things going on. Or, you can actually see a hand print there.

Even if I DO think it was from a spanking, I believe that spanking is a parental choice, and none of my business. Out of control, wildly hitting a child could potentially be abuse. (I don't spank, and I never would, but I don't judge those who do)

Bruises on the upper arm could also be from millions of things. Only ONCE has it been an obvious hand print, and I never, EVER would suspect abuse from these parents, so I just asked them what happened, and the story was good enough for me... and kind of matched up with the story the child was telling me.

Usually they will say "I put my arm in Mommy's chair, and it was stuck, and we had to wait for Daddy to get it out". Or "I was in the pool, and the dog jumped in and scratched my arms."

I'll admit to being very, very "Kitties and rainbows" when it comes to adults and kids, because I rarely ever see what I would call abuse... when I have, I've called CPS. But, it's been so many years, that I see everything through happy glasses.

I don't call CPS unless I REALLLLLLLY think it's something worth investigating. I don't call for those rare bad parenting moments, and I don't call for parenting choices. But, I would call if I saw consistent bruising, or felt that the children were in any danger.

I called last year for "neglect". The kids were loved and fed, but had no supervision, and the youngest child was getting hurt WAY too often. The injuries could have been avoided if they had taken simple precautions, and paid closer attention. Eventually it was a few calls from neighbors and hospitals that put CPS into action.
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Old 01-06-2012, 06:57 AM
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When I first moved in with my dh, we weren't together very long (and not yet married). My son was almost 2 at the time. One day, ds did something naughty, and my bf spanked him. I was a little taken aback, but it seemed an appropriate action (just not necessarily the appropriate person).

The next day, he had a big old bruise on his bottom. I sat down, almost in tears. I thought Oh my gosh, what have I done? Mentally preparing for the showdown now to come, and having to start all over again (I had moved 80 miles from my hometown).

I called him into the room, and showed him the bruise. I said "Umm....we have a problem here!" He looked mortified, and just stood there.

That's right about when I remembered that ds had fallen off a stool the day before!
Now I felt a different kind of terrible....

My ds is 11 1/2, and my dh and I have been married almost 8 years. There was never another uncomfortable situation, in fact, they are best buddies ever.

DOn't know why I felt like sharing that....
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:11 AM
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A handprint doesn't necessarily mean hitting either...I had a toddler daycare boy be taken to the ER for a handprint on his side.... come to find out he was allergic to latex...I was using gloves and likely holding him still with one hand, and wiping a mess with the other. Luckily the mom's first reaction what "WTH did he get into", and not "who the hell hit him", b/c it was a perfect handprint that looked like a bruise.

According to the mom, the doc first reaction was abuse, but mom insisted that it couldnt be --- no pain, perfect mark, uniform color, and the fact that it occur from the last diaper change only an hour from pickup AND the the mom didn't suspect abuse---

But it is pretty scary that an ER doc could have effectively put me in jail, if I didn't have the dcmom's trust 100%.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:55 AM
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Also as a child care provider, if we do see marls or bruises on a child we are mandated reporters and are required by law to report what we see or suspect. I cannot say in this case, since many details are missing and all sides of the story are not presented but I am wondering why the child was even put into a child care situation that seems sketchy already...(you said the provider is/was already involved in some other questionable situations).
Response to the above post...
Of course we didn't know anything about any questionable situations (when the police interviewed my mother, the police woman said they have had situations involving her a couple other times). It wasn't clear what they meant, if they meant she has turned in people before, so they know her from that. I am not sure why they have dealt with her. But either way, we didn't know anything of the sort when she started taking them there. She was refered to my mom through a lady they went to foster care classes with.

Last edited by nm08briggy; 01-06-2012 at 07:57 AM. Reason: to separate the original post from my response
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:03 AM
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I wasn't asking for anyones opinion so I am not going to go into great detail. There is no sense in doing that. If you read my post, the 1st sentence says "has anyone ever suspected child abuse at their daycare".
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nm08briggy View Post
Also as a child care provider, if we do see marls or bruises on a child we are mandated reporters and are required by law to report what we see or suspect. I cannot say in this case, since many details are missing and all sides of the story are not presented but I am wondering why the child was even put into a child care situation that seems sketchy already...(you said the provider is/was already involved in some other questionable situations).
Response to the above post...
Of course we didn't know anything about any questionable situations (when the police interviewed my mother, the police woman said they have had situations involving her a couple other times). It wasn't clear what they meant, if they meant she has turned in people before, so they know her from that. I am not sure why they have dealt with her. But either way, we didn't know anything of the sort when she started taking them there. She was refered to my mom through a lady they went to foster care classes with.
Aha, that makes much more sense. However, I would still report your suspicions in regard to what you suspect happened and do not allow the child to return to this caregiver. No one should ever have to continue using care in which they are concerned about the safety of the child.

In response to your initial question, yes, I have suspected child abuse before and I have reported it. Different outcomes each time as each situation is unique.

I'm sorry, I wish I could offer you more advice.
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by bbo View Post
Sorry, not enough information here. Even if she took himn potty every hour, she may not have been standing in a spot where she saw a mark. Taking care of multiple children doesn't give you a lot of opportunity to stare at their behinds!


Just to be clear, I was only asking if anyone has suspected their child was being abused in a daycare setting. So there is no need for any other information. I don't really want to go into anymore detail than I have, as I am not directly involved in this case. I am just trying to find a way to help my Mother. She is a good person, she just got done with all the foster care stuff and got licensed finally. She has been a nurse for 25 plus years in long term care and has spent her life caring for other people and putting their needs 1st. It breaks my heart that she is going through this, all because she wanted to help children that need love and affection, food, shelter and safety. And this is how she is repaid, by having to defend herself against such hanis charges. And her and my stepdad were even talking about trying to adopt these children. This was a little 2 yr old boy that loved my mom and step dad. He went running to them when they would pick him up at daycare, or when one of them was gone and would walk in the door. They spent their own money to get these children proper clothes, coats and shoes (long before they were going to get any assistance). Because they genuinely care. It is so sad

I do appreciate the ideas some people are offering, it helps me think outside the box, by hearing others experiences (especially when abuse was suspected and later found the real problem being something completely different. I can't think of these other ideas on my own, they come from others experiences. So thank you to those of you offering ideas.
Thanks
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solandia View Post
A handprint doesn't necessarily mean hitting either...I had a toddler daycare boy be taken to the ER for a handprint on his side.... come to find out he was allergic to latex...I was using gloves and likely holding him still with one hand, and wiping a mess with the other. Luckily the mom's first reaction what "WTH did he get into", and not "who the hell hit him", b/c it was a perfect handprint that looked like a bruise.

According to the mom, the doc first reaction was abuse, but mom insisted that it couldnt be --- no pain, perfect mark, uniform color, and the fact that it occur from the last diaper change only an hour from pickup AND the the mom didn't suspect abuse---

But it is pretty scary that an ER doc could have effectively put me in jail, if I didn't have the dcmom's trust 100%.


I had not thought of that at all, I assumed, like most people would, that it would have to be from a spanking. But now that you say that, it makes total sense that could happen. the irritation for the allergy would even cause it to be raised and red looking and would look sore. I hadn't considered the possibility that no one did it.
Thank you very much for your reply
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:21 PM
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Default Not abuse, neglect

When my oldest was 2 he was an only child. I worked and he went to daycare. He was at a large center. The bottom line is, they were over on their ratio, shortstaffed, and there was a day when I walked into the building, into his room, changed his clothes, got his bag, and left the building and NEVER saw a staff member. The 2 year olds were unattended, and the security was lax. 1 time was 1 time too many. I faxed my notice and withdrew him immedietely, and I contacted the state liscensing office with my reason.
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