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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Please tell me it gets better
dEHmom 09:37 AM 11-23-2011
Ok, so into 2nd week of being licensed. These kids are driving me nutso!
Before I was licensed, I provided all food/snacks/drinks. I did this because it bothered me with some of the foods parents sent, either lack of, or just it being crap!
Parents right now are doing pretty good, except yesterday one dck came with weiners. Nothing else, just weiners. ugh!
However, my really good, dcb that i've had for a long time is entering terrible 2's. And I know he's finding it hard with the extra kids now, because it's not him being the baby anymore. I truly feel bad, but right now I'm just at my wits end. He just went down for a nap, but I don't know how else to deal with this.
Because being licensed, it's not worth it for me to provide food anymore, rates are nearly half of what i charged before, and there is no incentive, plus it's a PITA to do menu. So I don't provide any longer. However, now, the kids are wanting what everyone else has. My really good dcb I mentioned above, will very very quickly,steal someone elses food and eat it! Literally before I can catch him. I sit him down at the table and put his food in front, but he sees other people have something different, and immediately starts to cry. He is impossible to calm down when he does cry, which is rare, but more often now. I have to let him CIO because you cannot talk to him when he is upset. He throws his head back, mouth wide open, and wails. Then he steals everyone elses food. I'm at a loss what to do. I do not have individual highchairs and no way to do it. But they each have their own seats at my kitchen table. Tomorrow I'm going to strap my booster seat high chair to one of the chairs and push him away from the rest a little bit so he can't reach them as easily, but what can I do about the meltdowns over not having the same foods?
Sorry this was a little bit of a vent, but more of a PLEASE HELP ME!
Before I was licensed, I provided all food/snacks/drinks. I did this because it bothered me with some of the foods parents sent, either lack of, or just it being crap!
Parents right now are doing pretty good, except yesterday one dck came with weiners. Nothing else, just weiners. ugh!
However, my really good, dcb that i've had for a long time is entering terrible 2's. And I know he's finding it hard with the extra kids now, because it's not him being the baby anymore. I truly feel bad, but right now I'm just at my wits end. He just went down for a nap, but I don't know how else to deal with this.
Because being licensed, it's not worth it for me to provide food anymore, rates are nearly half of what i charged before, and there is no incentive, plus it's a PITA to do menu. So I don't provide any longer. However, now, the kids are wanting what everyone else has. My really good dcb I mentioned above, will very very quickly,steal someone elses food and eat it! Literally before I can catch him. I sit him down at the table and put his food in front, but he sees other people have something different, and immediately starts to cry. He is impossible to calm down when he does cry, which is rare, but more often now. I have to let him CIO because you cannot talk to him when he is upset. He throws his head back, mouth wide open, and wails. Then he steals everyone elses food. I'm at a loss what to do. I do not have individual highchairs and no way to do it. But they each have their own seats at my kitchen table. Tomorrow I'm going to strap my booster seat high chair to one of the chairs and push him away from the rest a little bit so he can't reach them as easily, but what can I do about the meltdowns over not having the same foods?
Sorry this was a little bit of a vent, but more of a PLEASE HELP ME!
mismatchedsocks 09:41 AM 11-23-2011
Im confused, how are rates now half of what you charged before because you are licensed? Are you on the food program?
As far as the little boy taking food, I would just sit with them or stand right there and remind them to eat their own food. If it continues then start feeding him before the other kids, that way when he has a melt down, he can be excused from the table. Let him know this will not be tolerated, and after a few days of not eating all of his food and being hungry I am sure he will get it, and stop. At least i hope!
As far as the little boy taking food, I would just sit with them or stand right there and remind them to eat their own food. If it continues then start feeding him before the other kids, that way when he has a melt down, he can be excused from the table. Let him know this will not be tolerated, and after a few days of not eating all of his food and being hungry I am sure he will get it, and stop. At least i hope!
DaycareMom 09:48 AM 11-23-2011
When kids bring their own food, I divide everything between everyone so all kids get a little bit of everything an no one complains that someone has something they don't.
Problem solved!
Problem solved!
countrymom 10:05 AM 11-23-2011
I don't understand the half rates either, wouldn't you be making more money because you have more kids.
small_steps 10:09 AM 11-23-2011
and have you considered being on the food program. If you're licensed you shouldn't have a problem with that. And maybe then you could continue to provide meals. I find it so much easier than them bringing their own lunches
dEHmom 10:26 AM 11-23-2011
I used to charge on average 25-30 a day (depending on the pickup times, as i adopted Nan's scale). Now, rates are 16.40 a day because with licensing, you charge their rates. I'm in Canada.
We don't have a food program here. So there is no benefit to me providing food. I'm sure there might be some program where the government chips in, but it is just not worth it to provide the food anymore. It's nothing like what you guys get with the food program.
I make more money licensed, because I get quarterly operating grants, and i have more kids, which equals more money. But the rate has to be 16.40 or 20.40 for babies, if I want the grants. EVERYONE that I know that does licensed daycare, including the coordinator, has said, it's not worth it to provide food/drinks. It's much more beneficial to have them provide their own, in terms of money and time.
We don't have a food program here. So there is no benefit to me providing food. I'm sure there might be some program where the government chips in, but it is just not worth it to provide the food anymore. It's nothing like what you guys get with the food program.
I make more money licensed, because I get quarterly operating grants, and i have more kids, which equals more money. But the rate has to be 16.40 or 20.40 for babies, if I want the grants. EVERYONE that I know that does licensed daycare, including the coordinator, has said, it's not worth it to provide food/drinks. It's much more beneficial to have them provide their own, in terms of money and time.
laundrymom 10:31 AM 11-23-2011
That----- SUCKS.
Period.
Period.
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
I used to charge on average 25-30 a day (depending on the pickup times, as i adopted Nan's scale). Now, rates are 16.40 a day because with licensing, you charge their rates. I'm in Canada.
We don't have a food program here. So there is no benefit to me providing food. I'm sure there might be some program where the government chips in, but it is just not worth it to provide the food anymore. It's nothing like what you guys get with the food program.
I make more money licensed, because I get quarterly operating grants, and i have more kids, which equals more money. But the rate has to be 16.40 or 20.40 for babies, if I want the grants. EVERYONE that I know that does licensed daycare, including the coordinator, has said, it's not worth it to provide food/drinks. It's much more beneficial to have them provide their own, in terms of money and time.
I used to charge on average 25-30 a day (depending on the pickup times, as i adopted Nan's scale). Now, rates are 16.40 a day because with licensing, you charge their rates. I'm in Canada.
We don't have a food program here. So there is no benefit to me providing food. I'm sure there might be some program where the government chips in, but it is just not worth it to provide the food anymore. It's nothing like what you guys get with the food program.
I make more money licensed, because I get quarterly operating grants, and i have more kids, which equals more money. But the rate has to be 16.40 or 20.40 for babies, if I want the grants. EVERYONE that I know that does licensed daycare, including the coordinator, has said, it's not worth it to provide food/drinks. It's much more beneficial to have them provide their own, in terms of money and time.
Heidi 10:31 AM 11-23-2011
Are you allowed to charge an additional fee for food?
I have never had families provide their own food. I actually think it would be more work for me. The fighting, the poor choices, the forgetting. I'd rather make a little extra at dinner, and feed the kids the same thing the next day.
I think in our state, if parents provide meals, they still have to meet the USDA guidelines!
I have never had families provide their own food. I actually think it would be more work for me. The fighting, the poor choices, the forgetting. I'd rather make a little extra at dinner, and feed the kids the same thing the next day.
I think in our state, if parents provide meals, they still have to meet the USDA guidelines!
mismatchedsocks 10:39 AM 11-23-2011
Wow that really STINKS! Maybe take a survey in your daycare to see if families are willing to pay a "food" fee. I'm thinking $25 a week per fulltime child? $5 a day?
dEHmom 10:40 AM 11-23-2011
So I was told, it's my choice if I want to offer lets say maybe a breakfast program, for an additional fee and it has to be OPTIONAL. I decided to start a milk/juice/water program because I've got a 1yo coming with koolaid jammers, and juiceboxes everyda, blah!. The coordinator sort of gave me a hard time with it, but said she supposed if it's optional, as I cannot rates fees. Unfortunately the mom who sends the koolaid jammers never opted to join that program. lol. boo.
I could probably offer to do a lunch program too, but I know not everyone would be on board with it. and because it has to be optional for me to charge it, I just don't see it working either.
I could probably offer to do a lunch program too, but I know not everyone would be on board with it. and because it has to be optional for me to charge it, I just don't see it working either.
godiva83 10:54 AM 11-23-2011
Wow- I never realized that they tell you what to charge...if you don't mind where are you in Canada? I am in Ontario and the going rate for my area is anywhere from $35-$50 a day
dEHmom 11:17 AM 11-23-2011
Originally Posted by godiva83:
Wow- I never realized that they tell you what to charge...if you don't mind where are you in Canada? I am in Ontario and the going rate for my area is anywhere from $35-$50 a day
Well there's a catch for it. I'm in MB, and the way it works, is technically I could charge anything I want. But the need for licensed daycares is so high, that everyone wants it, and most need/want subsidy. Wow- I never realized that they tell you what to charge...if you don't mind where are you in Canada? I am in Ontario and the going rate for my area is anywhere from $35-$50 a day
In order for me to be able to provide subsidy, I have to charge the lowest rate set by the government, which is 16.40 and 20.40 for infants/day. Also, most people cannot afford the 25/day which is why they want licensed daycare.
I also do not qualify for any grants if I charge more than the minimum, so it is more than worthwhile for me to charge the rates I mentioned, because I will get pay from the government now to make up the difference.
If I start adding fees outside of those rates, I still have to claim as income, and provide receipts, which could affect my grants and stuff. So it's best to just leave it alone.
There are providers that charge more than the set rates, but they get hit hard later on, and find it more difficult to fill spots.
countrymom 11:25 AM 11-23-2011
hmm, I don't think I could do it. I get calls for subsidy too, but I just don't do it, when you mean that people want licensed daycares are they just subsidy people. I can't see kids costing that much, I can easily make a meal for under 2 dollars per kid. they don't eat much. This is why I would never ask parents to bring food, because I don't want to deal with the melt downs and the junk that would be brought here to eat.
cheerfuldom 11:38 AM 11-23-2011
Why not create a food/snack/drink policy? You don't provide any food or drink BUT this is what you do allow in the daycare, to be provided by the parents. You can base it off the USDA guidelines or whatever and outline what parents are to provide as far as meals. Then do a "no" list to include candy, soda, and whatever else that is not allowed at the daycare. Anything sent to the daycare will not be given to the child, it will be thrown away. That solves the 1 year old with koolaid issue. It is going to be more work but since licensed daycare is in high demand, a compromise on the food will be something that most parents can handle. I bet most, if not all, your existing parents would be fine with some general guidelines. some people just don't think before they send their kid with junk to eat. It seems so easy to them and there is nothing that tells them it is not allowed.
You can also keep some emergency lunch options on hand. If the parent does not provide a suitable lunch, then an emergency lunch will be provided for a fee. Make the fee high (and something avoidable because if they follow your guidelines, they won't ever have to pay it). You don't have to be micromanaging about it, just general do's and don'ts.
Many of my DC parents admit that they don't have any clue about what to feed a child so the child ends up eating what the parents are eating (usually junk) or ends up picking for themselves (cartoon themed junk, ha ha). Some of them have really appreciated my handout that goes over ideas for healthy lunch options. Its not anything crazy.....just simple reminders like "instead of sending a sugary pudding, how bout trying a no sugar applesauce?"
You can also keep some emergency lunch options on hand. If the parent does not provide a suitable lunch, then an emergency lunch will be provided for a fee. Make the fee high (and something avoidable because if they follow your guidelines, they won't ever have to pay it). You don't have to be micromanaging about it, just general do's and don'ts.
Many of my DC parents admit that they don't have any clue about what to feed a child so the child ends up eating what the parents are eating (usually junk) or ends up picking for themselves (cartoon themed junk, ha ha). Some of them have really appreciated my handout that goes over ideas for healthy lunch options. Its not anything crazy.....just simple reminders like "instead of sending a sugary pudding, how bout trying a no sugar applesauce?"
Country Kids 11:55 AM 11-23-2011
Does Canada have anything like the USDA program? It might be hard to tell the parents what to bring if they have nothing to follow.
MyAngels 12:10 PM 11-23-2011
Maybe you could assign each family one day each week that they would provide food for all of the children that day. If you attempted something like that I would definitely give them some guidelines so you don't end up with a bunch of junk food brought in.
godiva83 12:50 PM 11-23-2011
That makes sense....I hope these Grants are good.
as for food you are right it doesn't make sense to feed them on that rate. I say stick to having them bring their own food- seperate the DCB or move further away like you said so he can't be a food theif
it is hard to want what you don't have but it is also a part of life that you have to understand at somepoint, right? Maybe make a 'Social Story' about Lunch time issues and what is going on at your lunch time, read the kids the book so they can connect the two??
Secondly, perhaps write home and include a list of appropriate foods, Kool aid jammers not on the list lol explain the health and importance of healthy foods and with that say you will not give foods that you seem unfit. Also, if it is in your budget perhaps suggest you will provide the 'Sweet' treat to lunch whether it be a homemade muffin, cookie, granola bar sort of deal.
Good luck
as for food you are right it doesn't make sense to feed them on that rate. I say stick to having them bring their own food- seperate the DCB or move further away like you said so he can't be a food theif
it is hard to want what you don't have but it is also a part of life that you have to understand at somepoint, right? Maybe make a 'Social Story' about Lunch time issues and what is going on at your lunch time, read the kids the book so they can connect the two??Secondly, perhaps write home and include a list of appropriate foods, Kool aid jammers not on the list lol explain the health and importance of healthy foods and with that say you will not give foods that you seem unfit. Also, if it is in your budget perhaps suggest you will provide the 'Sweet' treat to lunch whether it be a homemade muffin, cookie, granola bar sort of deal.
Good luck
dEHmom 01:11 PM 11-23-2011
sorry I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all afternoon. first chance i've had to come check back in.
what i ended up doing, which actually only took me about 5 mins, was to print up a quick newsletter page. just little snippets, along with a thankyou to the new families and previous families through the licensing period.
also included a reminder that children need appropriate clothing, (this is just into week 2 of being licensed, with mostly new families), so I stated that as of monday, we will be going outside daily, whether or not children have appropriate outdoor clothing. if they come in shoes, and not boots, their feet will get wet and cold. etc.
also, stated some suggestions for lunches and snacks, like dry cereal, fruits with or without yogurt to dip, yogurt with or without additives like granola, fruit, etc, leftover dinners. yada yada.
what i ended up doing, which actually only took me about 5 mins, was to print up a quick newsletter page. just little snippets, along with a thankyou to the new families and previous families through the licensing period.
also included a reminder that children need appropriate clothing, (this is just into week 2 of being licensed, with mostly new families), so I stated that as of monday, we will be going outside daily, whether or not children have appropriate outdoor clothing. if they come in shoes, and not boots, their feet will get wet and cold. etc.
also, stated some suggestions for lunches and snacks, like dry cereal, fruits with or without yogurt to dip, yogurt with or without additives like granola, fruit, etc, leftover dinners. yada yada.
Unregistered 02:35 PM 11-23-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
sorry I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all afternoon. first chance i've had to come check back in.
what i ended up doing, which actually only took me about 5 mins, was to print up a quick newsletter page. just little snippets, along with a thankyou to the new families and previous families through the licensing period.
also included a reminder that children need appropriate clothing, (this is just into week 2 of being licensed, with mostly new families), so I stated that as of monday, we will be going outside daily, whether or not children have appropriate outdoor clothing. if they come in shoes, and not boots, their feet will get wet and cold. etc.
also, stated some suggestions for lunches and snacks, like dry cereal, fruits with or without yogurt to dip, yogurt with or without additives like granola, fruit, etc, leftover dinners. yada yada.
as much as you may want to send them outside with whatever they came in with.........not smart. Makes you look brainless. Letting the child become cold and wet and then possibly sick is not fair to the child because the parents are ........insert your own word. I would reword your letter home that if the kids don't have proper outside play clothes, no one is able to go out and you will have to start calling parents to bring them in or take the child home, because its not fair for all the kids to have to stay inside. Another alternative is to have a supply of extra clothes-but then your parents will depend on that.sorry I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all afternoon. first chance i've had to come check back in.
what i ended up doing, which actually only took me about 5 mins, was to print up a quick newsletter page. just little snippets, along with a thankyou to the new families and previous families through the licensing period.
also included a reminder that children need appropriate clothing, (this is just into week 2 of being licensed, with mostly new families), so I stated that as of monday, we will be going outside daily, whether or not children have appropriate outdoor clothing. if they come in shoes, and not boots, their feet will get wet and cold. etc.
also, stated some suggestions for lunches and snacks, like dry cereal, fruits with or without yogurt to dip, yogurt with or without additives like granola, fruit, etc, leftover dinners. yada yada.
Lunch- I have done it both ways. Had the parents bring in lunches, taught the kids that they had to eat what their parents packed and made a list of what was acceptable. Make it clear- no junk foods, and give them a list of what they can bring. Explain that anything else will be taken away and sent back home and they will get a call to bring the child a lunch. When you put it back on the parents, usually you see results, until they get comfortable and then you send out the reminder again. If a parent knows they are going to get a call at work and possibly have to leave, they learn quick. Or- do a menu and provide food and up your price. If you have a providers association, you should find out if there is a food program available in Canada and if not recommend one. The food program is a great help, worth the aggravation of the paperwork and visits.
nannyde 03:21 PM 11-23-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
sorry I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all afternoon. first chance i've had to come check back in.
what i ended up doing, which actually only took me about 5 mins, was to print up a quick newsletter page. just little snippets, along with a thankyou to the new families and previous families through the licensing period.
also included a reminder that children need appropriate clothing, (this is just into week 2 of being licensed, with mostly new families), so I stated that as of monday, we will be going outside daily, whether or not children have appropriate outdoor clothing. if they come in shoes, and not boots, their feet will get wet and cold. etc.
also, stated some suggestions for lunches and snacks, like dry cereal, fruits with or without yogurt to dip, yogurt with or without additives like granola, fruit, etc, leftover dinners. yada yada.
The parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. If they don't provide proper winter gear you still can't take them outside without it. Them understanding or agreeing that THEY should provide appropriate gear doesn't have anything to do with your decision TODAY to take them out knowing it isn't sufficient.sorry I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all afternoon. first chance i've had to come check back in.
what i ended up doing, which actually only took me about 5 mins, was to print up a quick newsletter page. just little snippets, along with a thankyou to the new families and previous families through the licensing period.
also included a reminder that children need appropriate clothing, (this is just into week 2 of being licensed, with mostly new families), so I stated that as of monday, we will be going outside daily, whether or not children have appropriate outdoor clothing. if they come in shoes, and not boots, their feet will get wet and cold. etc.
also, stated some suggestions for lunches and snacks, like dry cereal, fruits with or without yogurt to dip, yogurt with or without additives like granola, fruit, etc, leftover dinners. yada yada.
A child who suffers from exposure under your watch will be completely and totally on you. Nobody will care whether they had proper gear or not. What will matter is that you took them outside without it. It will be completely on you.
You can either refuse to allow them admittance without it, have the parents provide it and leave it at your house, provide it, or stay inside. That's your only options.
Parents who aren't supplying the proper stuff don't care if anyone else suffers from it. They don't have any problem at all with you keeping everyone in because of what they haven't done. Telling them the other kids were kept from it because of their actions will just be info to them.
I provide everything the kids need for outdoors regardless of the weather. I didn't have the problem of parents not bringing outdoor gear. I had the problem that what they came in was too cumbersome, ill fitting, and by October.. November the closures and velcro would fail.
I made a decision to stock my home with full winter gear in every size and in multiples so that no matter what kids I had I could completely dress them with my stuff from head to toe. That's made my life SO much easier. It's also saved a TON of cash in staff time because the stuff I have here is easy on..... has excellent hardware......... fits beautifully........... and is super warm. It doesn't matter what the parents bring the kids in... I don't use it. I use my own stuff so it's perfect every day.
You have a high chance of having noncompliance on the food issue too. Just be prepared to have a lot of work to do with what they bring and to have a lot of treat food. You can suggest what they should bring and put rules in place regarding the work you have to do to support the meal but you run the risk that they will bring junk that needs a lot of adult time to heat, serve, and dice.
dEHmom 04:58 PM 11-23-2011
oh of course i would never force a child outside in inappropriate clothes. And i have backups, but i know that the "well no one gets to go out then" speech is exactly that, just words that are coming out of my mouth, and goes right over their heads.
I have in the past put the kids booty slippers on, and then put plastic bags over top so the kids can go out and not get their feet wet.
As for the junk, I deal with it. I don't have a choice. I just sent out in the newsletter a few suggestions, and I started it with "some parents have approached me and said they are strugglin to find some ideas on what to send daily for lunches and snacks, here are a few suggestions you may not have thought of...." etc.
I have in the past put the kids booty slippers on, and then put plastic bags over top so the kids can go out and not get their feet wet.
As for the junk, I deal with it. I don't have a choice. I just sent out in the newsletter a few suggestions, and I started it with "some parents have approached me and said they are strugglin to find some ideas on what to send daily for lunches and snacks, here are a few suggestions you may not have thought of...." etc.