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Unregistered 02:15 PM 12-23-2016
New here, I've been lurking for a bit. Anyway I've had an in home daycare for 12 years now and every year I buy new toys for all of the kids to open with the understanding that they are new toys that stay here for everyone to play with. So today my 4 yr old daycare boy decided to throw a fit about not taking them home, like ultimate tantrum with mom about it. Of course I'm somewhat "friends" with the mom and she was not happy about it. She made some snarky comment on social media about it. This boy has every shape, color and size of the item he opened at home but still decided to freak out. What would you do?
finsup 04:40 PM 12-23-2016
That's tough, because I get why you do it that way but he's also 4. A present he opens, is "his" and understandably he wants to take it home. Even if he has a ton of toys, it's not THAT one. As a parent, I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, just explain that's something that stays there and he'll play with it when he sees you next and to be thankful that he was thought of. As for what I'd do, I'd apologize to mom and explain the toy was meant for daycare only. And encourage her to use it as a teachable moment for her son. But next year, maybe send out a letter first so parents can explain to their kids the toy stays there? Or do a "big" item gift for everyone (like playground climber, new blocks etc) that's also clear to the kiddos it doesn't go home with anyone. Have them help decide where to place the new item in the room etc. Just some ideas 
I can see this not being a huge deal in the past, but with this new generation I can see a lot of adult temper tantrums happening 
I can see this not being a huge deal in the past, but with this new generation I can see a lot of adult temper tantrums happening
mommyneedsadayoff 05:38 PM 12-23-2016
I can understand hom being upset, but why is mom adding yo it by posting social media? It is a great age to teach about giving, and unfortunately, mom gave his tantrum momentum byposting about it and acting as tho you are taking away from him, versus giving to daycare and all his friends. Im mean. I would exclude him and his mother from future gift exchange and let them know exactly why.
lovemykidstoo 06:33 PM 12-23-2016
Originally Posted by finsup:
That's tough, because I get why you do it that way but he's also 4. A present he opens, is "his" and understandably he wants to take it home. Even if he has a ton of toys, it's not THAT one. As a parent, I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, just explain that's something that stays there and he'll play with it when he sees you next and to be thankful that he was thought of. As for what I'd do, I'd apologize to mom and explain the toy was meant for daycare only. And encourage her to use it as a teachable moment for her son. But next year, maybe send out a letter first so parents can explain to their kids the toy stays there? Or do a "big" item gift for everyone (like playground climber, new blocks etc) that's also clear to the kiddos it doesn't go home with anyone. Have them help decide where to place the new item in the room etc. Just some ideas I can see this not being a huge deal in the past, but with this new generation I can see a lot of adult temper tantrums happening
That's tough, because I get why you do it that way but he's also 4. A present he opens, is "his" and understandably he wants to take it home. Even if he has a ton of toys, it's not THAT one. As a parent, I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, just explain that's something that stays there and he'll play with it when he sees you next and to be thankful that he was thought of. As for what I'd do, I'd apologize to mom and explain the toy was meant for daycare only. And encourage her to use it as a teachable moment for her son. But next year, maybe send out a letter first so parents can explain to their kids the toy stays there? Or do a "big" item gift for everyone (like playground climber, new blocks etc) that's also clear to the kiddos it doesn't go home with anyone. Have them help decide where to place the new item in the room etc. Just some ideas
I can see this not being a huge deal in the past, but with this new generation I can see a lot of adult temper tantrums happening This was my thought. I understand you wanting to make it fun for the kids by having them open the items, but really even for a 4 year old, they live by the toddler creed, he's opening a gift, therefore, he feels he should get to keep it. They really don't have the mindset that a gift he opens, he has to leave with you. Would some kids understand that? Sure. i would venture that alot wouldn't. Maybe don't wrap them next year and see how that goes? I dislike alot though when people take issues to social media though. Very tacky and mom should not have done that. I would not address it with her on social media. Next time I woudl see her I would say, hey mom, I noticed what you wrote on FB or whatever and I understand Johnny being upset and that was not my intention. Sorry he felt that way or something to that point.
Josiegirl 03:54 AM 12-24-2016
I'm sorry it went that way for you. Dcm clearly didn't understand what your intentions were and should not have taken it more public. Bad form dcm.
I've read about daycares doing this sort of thing before but honestly, I can see it not working at all with little kids, unless as was mentioned, you got 1 bigger thing and told the dcks it's a dc gift for everyone(something no one really gets to unwrap individually KWIM?)
Little kids are so self-centered, it's ALL about them but they're little. It's what they are. However, mommy dearest is an adult. She's just upset to see her little one get upset.
I've read about daycares doing this sort of thing before but honestly, I can see it not working at all with little kids, unless as was mentioned, you got 1 bigger thing and told the dcks it's a dc gift for everyone(something no one really gets to unwrap individually KWIM?)
Little kids are so self-centered, it's ALL about them but they're little. It's what they are. However, mommy dearest is an adult. She's just upset to see her little one get upset.
Ariana 01:35 PM 12-24-2016
He had a tantrum like some 4 year olds do and he will learn that tantrums don't work.
Mom is just happy she can blame it on you instead of her poor parenting skills!
Mom is just happy she can blame it on you instead of her poor parenting skills!