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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>WOW. Not One Card. Nothing
sahm2three 03:10 PM 12-23-2010
I honestly can't believe it. I bought gifts for each and every child. I did lots of special holiday activities and crafts with them, I do a lot each and every day that they are here. I have most of these kids 50 hours a week. I take great care of them. Love on them when their parents can't be here. I DIDN'T EVEN GET ONE HOLIDAY CARD!!!!! I just can't believe it! Wow. I am really hurt.
mommyof3 05:02 PM 12-23-2010
I got each day care child a toy,book and a fee kids meal card to olive garden the parents got home made cookies,all my day care children are in my care for 10 hours/day .
Not one sayed Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas no card or anything else .
Its so sad
One parent even asked if she can have an discount(50%) for two weeks so she can get gifts for her kids .I tooled her NO.
Not one sayed Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas no card or anything else .
Its so sad
One parent even asked if she can have an discount(50%) for two weeks so she can get gifts for her kids .I tooled her NO.
daysofelijah 05:04 PM 12-23-2010
I didn't get one card either. I was disappointed. I used to have parents that would give me a nice card, with a nice note every year (plus cash or gifts, but the thought of the card and note was much appreciated). I don't know why no one does anymore. It's a bummer.
busymomof2 05:41 PM 12-23-2010
I was hopeful for a card form my parents too. I only got one card from the one family I didn't think I would get anything from because they are struggling financially. I gave my parent's a Parent's Night free of charge, a gift for their child, Christmas card from my family, a family gift, a gift that I helped their child make for them, photos with Santa and not to mention all the extra stuff I do for their children everyday. When my child was in daycare I gave a card and gift every year! How can you face the person you see every day and who takes care of your child for 10+ hours a day and not even give them a Christmas card??? Oh well, I keep telling myself it's better to give then receive even if all I wanted to receive was a card and a Merry Christmas.
newtodaycare22 06:59 PM 12-23-2010
Aren't some people ridiculous? I'm sorry your parents did that to you. Last year, I taught kindergarten and out of 20 students, I received 1 card and 1 bottle of lotion (from the same child).
This year, I have 7 parents and I got gifts and card from 4 of them...and the other 3 nothing. I'm with you- I really would just appreciate it even a card!
This year, I have 7 parents and I got gifts and card from 4 of them...and the other 3 nothing. I'm with you- I really would just appreciate it even a card!
nannyde 03:11 AM 12-24-2010
I've been thinking a lot about this over the last few weeks and am really saddened to hear story after story where providers feel insulted when most or all of their parents don't think of them at Christmas and either bring them nothing, or just a card.
When you have a population of parents that do not consider you within the Christmas season maybe it's time to rethink doing a Christmas season with the kids. Parents are showing you that they don't consider Christmas as a time that has a single thing to do with their provider so why not believe them and honor that?
Maybe next year it would be best to stay away from anything Christmas related. If you do something have it be a special lunch for the kids that you don't normally have and call it your Christmas Dinner. You don't have to do crafts, parties, gifts for the kids, gifts from the kid to the parents etc. You can go with the belief system the parents have and not do a Christmas between your kids, clients, and yourself.
When it comes to yearly bonus or gifting why not consider building a paid vacation into the end of the year for YOU to look forward to? If you are already doing that then maybe another idea is to raise your rates two dollars a week per client and put that one hundred dollars a year per kid away and have THAT be your year end bonus. You would have to have the discipline to not touch it throughout the year but you could enjoy watching it grow thru the year and use it to buy YOU something great at the end of the year.
There's a fine line when you are DOING a lot for the kids and families during Christmas where you can actually switch over the mind set of the parent into thinking that appropriate ROLES in this is YOU being the one giving and them and their kids being the receivers. They can believe that it is actually your JOB and responsibility to make Christmas special for their kid and even to give something to them because they are your client. They can go all year and not look at you as a BUSINESS but rather their employee but when it comes time for year end bonusing they actually believe you are a BUSINESS for the first and only time of the year.
It's sad but it does happen.
My Day Care parents are very generous to me every year and I don't give presents to the children. I don't give any free time to the parents. I don't do a bunch of crafts for the kids to the parents. This year we did one craft that took a few weeks to do where the kids made a handprint construction paper ornament and then decorated it with pasted on little tiny scrunched pieces of tissue paper they tore and scrunched for a few weeks. It was something they enjoyed doing but it cost about a quarter a piece.
We did a Christmas Dinner of some of our favorite foods and listened to Christmas music. It was very laid back and sweet but not a ton of work. I just made something different for lunch than I normally don't have. This year we had phesant, cheddar biscuits, mashed potatoes with portabella gravy and brownies for desert.
So maybe consider focusing on something just for you and the kids like a great lunch or a great desert for snack time and leave it at that. All the effort and gift giving you do for their family isn't going to be something they translate into honoring you the same way because they don't believe they should or they believe YOU should be the one doing the celebration and giving. If that's what they believe then it may be time to believe them and follow in line to that.
Our culture is changing. The way that most parents look at child care is that it's terribly expensive and "too much" in the first place. I found this post on mother.com
http://www.mothering.com/community/f...ycare-provider
never thought of it
I mean, I had heard that if you have an au pair or nanny it was expected, but not for someone with a business. Shoot, when I was a nanny, I only received little gifts. I didn't expect a bonus. Is this the norm now? I mean, I love my CCProvider, but she gets a week paid vacation from parents per year, so I wouldn't expect to give an addition week's bonus. It's hard enough scraping the pay together for childcare as it is. Most providers are not looking to make big $$ with thier job anyway.
It's a very short paragraph but it's packed with the fundamental thinking that goes into parents talking thru this to themselves:
I don't get bonuses why should my provider?
The paid time off IS the bonus. This parent even believes that one week a year is bonus enough.
Childcare is way too expensive.
Most providers are not looking to make big money in the job anyway.
Pick any or all of the above. If you are dealing with clients that have this belief system it may be best to just stay out of the Christmas loop completely and carry on as you normally do throughout the year. If you do a bunch of Christmas stuff with the kids and for the parents you actually may be setting a thought process in their minds that your ROLE as a provider is to GIVE to them. It may actually backfire on you and leave you empty and sad.
I wish I could pinpoint my secret to why I have very genrous parents who bonus me AND my staff assistant but I don't really know exactly why. If I did I would definitely tell you guys. I do know that I have never gifted the kids and I don't spend a lot of resources having the kids gift the parents. I don't make a big hype about Christmas but keep our celebrations to something "I" love doing with my babies.
When you have a population of parents that do not consider you within the Christmas season maybe it's time to rethink doing a Christmas season with the kids. Parents are showing you that they don't consider Christmas as a time that has a single thing to do with their provider so why not believe them and honor that?
Maybe next year it would be best to stay away from anything Christmas related. If you do something have it be a special lunch for the kids that you don't normally have and call it your Christmas Dinner. You don't have to do crafts, parties, gifts for the kids, gifts from the kid to the parents etc. You can go with the belief system the parents have and not do a Christmas between your kids, clients, and yourself.
When it comes to yearly bonus or gifting why not consider building a paid vacation into the end of the year for YOU to look forward to? If you are already doing that then maybe another idea is to raise your rates two dollars a week per client and put that one hundred dollars a year per kid away and have THAT be your year end bonus. You would have to have the discipline to not touch it throughout the year but you could enjoy watching it grow thru the year and use it to buy YOU something great at the end of the year.
There's a fine line when you are DOING a lot for the kids and families during Christmas where you can actually switch over the mind set of the parent into thinking that appropriate ROLES in this is YOU being the one giving and them and their kids being the receivers. They can believe that it is actually your JOB and responsibility to make Christmas special for their kid and even to give something to them because they are your client. They can go all year and not look at you as a BUSINESS but rather their employee but when it comes time for year end bonusing they actually believe you are a BUSINESS for the first and only time of the year.
It's sad but it does happen.
My Day Care parents are very generous to me every year and I don't give presents to the children. I don't give any free time to the parents. I don't do a bunch of crafts for the kids to the parents. This year we did one craft that took a few weeks to do where the kids made a handprint construction paper ornament and then decorated it with pasted on little tiny scrunched pieces of tissue paper they tore and scrunched for a few weeks. It was something they enjoyed doing but it cost about a quarter a piece.
We did a Christmas Dinner of some of our favorite foods and listened to Christmas music. It was very laid back and sweet but not a ton of work. I just made something different for lunch than I normally don't have. This year we had phesant, cheddar biscuits, mashed potatoes with portabella gravy and brownies for desert.
So maybe consider focusing on something just for you and the kids like a great lunch or a great desert for snack time and leave it at that. All the effort and gift giving you do for their family isn't going to be something they translate into honoring you the same way because they don't believe they should or they believe YOU should be the one doing the celebration and giving. If that's what they believe then it may be time to believe them and follow in line to that.
Our culture is changing. The way that most parents look at child care is that it's terribly expensive and "too much" in the first place. I found this post on mother.com
http://www.mothering.com/community/f...ycare-provider
never thought of it
I mean, I had heard that if you have an au pair or nanny it was expected, but not for someone with a business. Shoot, when I was a nanny, I only received little gifts. I didn't expect a bonus. Is this the norm now? I mean, I love my CCProvider, but she gets a week paid vacation from parents per year, so I wouldn't expect to give an addition week's bonus. It's hard enough scraping the pay together for childcare as it is. Most providers are not looking to make big $$ with thier job anyway.
It's a very short paragraph but it's packed with the fundamental thinking that goes into parents talking thru this to themselves:
I don't get bonuses why should my provider?
The paid time off IS the bonus. This parent even believes that one week a year is bonus enough.
Childcare is way too expensive.
Most providers are not looking to make big money in the job anyway.
Pick any or all of the above. If you are dealing with clients that have this belief system it may be best to just stay out of the Christmas loop completely and carry on as you normally do throughout the year. If you do a bunch of Christmas stuff with the kids and for the parents you actually may be setting a thought process in their minds that your ROLE as a provider is to GIVE to them. It may actually backfire on you and leave you empty and sad.
I wish I could pinpoint my secret to why I have very genrous parents who bonus me AND my staff assistant but I don't really know exactly why. If I did I would definitely tell you guys. I do know that I have never gifted the kids and I don't spend a lot of resources having the kids gift the parents. I don't make a big hype about Christmas but keep our celebrations to something "I" love doing with my babies.
nannyde 04:06 AM 12-24-2010
Originally Posted by busymomof2:
I was hopeful for a card form my parents too. I only got one card from the one family I didn't think I would get anything from because they are struggling financially. I gave my parent's a Parent's Night free of charge, a gift for their child, Christmas card from my family, a family gift, a gift that I helped their child make for them, photos with Santa and not to mention all the extra stuff I do for their children everyday. When my child was in daycare I gave a card and gift every year! How can you face the person you see every day and who takes care of your child for 10+ hours a day and not even give them a Christmas card??? Oh well, I keep telling myself it's better to give then receive even if all I wanted to receive was a card and a Merry Christmas.
It's time to send out a newsletter saying:I was hopeful for a card form my parents too. I only got one card from the one family I didn't think I would get anything from because they are struggling financially. I gave my parent's a Parent's Night free of charge, a gift for their child, Christmas card from my family, a family gift, a gift that I helped their child make for them, photos with Santa and not to mention all the extra stuff I do for their children everyday. When my child was in daycare I gave a card and gift every year! How can you face the person you see every day and who takes care of your child for 10+ hours a day and not even give them a Christmas card??? Oh well, I keep telling myself it's better to give then receive even if all I wanted to receive was a card and a Merry Christmas.
"I have the most wonderful day care families a provider could ever ask for. I am humbled by your generosity this Christmas Season. My husband and I wanted to thank you in some way and have decided to offer all families who gave us such amazing Christmas bonuses a FREE weekend of child care. We will be happy to work with you on the date that works best for you. We will offer Friday night to Sunday night free care so that YOU can have a relaxing weekend that you deserve so much. Please let us know what weekend will work best for you and we will put in on our calandar.
We thank you SO much and we hope our little token of appreciation will give YOU a much deserved "Christmas Bonus" too."
melissa ann 04:46 AM 12-24-2010
I have 2dcf, one always gives me a tin/box of choc covered pretzels. Yes, I do love the pretzels. The other one, NOTHING. Throughout the year, we have little parties,for holidays. For valentines, I also give little goodies, the same for Halloween. I have b-day parties for the kids and make them cupcakes, and give them a present. At Christmas, I gave them a 24pc puzzle,and a book. I gave the dcparents jars of homemade fudge, and caramel corn.
I don't expect much. I'm not a materialist person, but at least a card.
I don't expect much. I'm not a materialist person, but at least a card.
SilverSabre25 04:59 AM 12-24-2010
-I didn't expect or hope for anything from my newest daycare family.
-I didn't expect, but did hope for, something from the family who's last day was Wednesday--leaving me because the dad's brother (deadbeat who can't hold a job) has been BEGGING them to babysit dcg so he can pay rent (I smell BS..no one could pay squat on what they paid me).
-I didn't expect, but was surprised by the family that paid me an extra half week's pay.
-I didn't expect or even hope for anything from the really young mom who has no clue how to be a parent, for the most part.
-I don't expect anything from the two families who tell me all the time how much they appreciate me and what I do...but I am kind of hoping. I doubt I'll get anything though.
-I didn't expect, but did hope for, something from the family who's last day was Wednesday--leaving me because the dad's brother (deadbeat who can't hold a job) has been BEGGING them to babysit dcg so he can pay rent (I smell BS..no one could pay squat on what they paid me).
-I didn't expect, but was surprised by the family that paid me an extra half week's pay.
-I didn't expect or even hope for anything from the really young mom who has no clue how to be a parent, for the most part.
-I don't expect anything from the two families who tell me all the time how much they appreciate me and what I do...but I am kind of hoping. I doubt I'll get anything though.
Crystal 09:59 AM 12-27-2010
I'll never understand the menatality that some have the notion that there is no need to show their gratitude and appreciation to the person that cares for their child. I am sorry to all of you who have such inconsiderate families.
I am very fortunate to always have had parents who go above and beyond, not only during the holidays, but throughout the year. I try to show my appreciation for them throughout the year as well. Although I get many gifts and bonuses, I will say the most treasured gifts I recieve are the cards, pictures and genuine expressions of appreciation in the what they say to me in those cards....I'd be happy with only those. I am sorry you didn't get that {{{{HUGS}}}}
I am very fortunate to always have had parents who go above and beyond, not only during the holidays, but throughout the year. I try to show my appreciation for them throughout the year as well. Although I get many gifts and bonuses, I will say the most treasured gifts I recieve are the cards, pictures and genuine expressions of appreciation in the what they say to me in those cards....I'd be happy with only those. I am sorry you didn't get that {{{{HUGS}}}}
nannyde 10:55 AM 12-27-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
IAlthough I get many gifts and bonuses, I will say the most treasured gifts I recieve are the cards, pictures and genuine expressions of appreciation in the what they say to me in those cards....I'd be happy with only those. I am sorry you didn't get that {{{{HUGS}}}}
IAlthough I get many gifts and bonuses, I will say the most treasured gifts I recieve are the cards, pictures and genuine expressions of appreciation in the what they say to me in those cards....I'd be happy with only those. I am sorry you didn't get that {{{{HUGS}}}}
I like the money
but the money WITH candy is my fave.
My parents don't do too much in writing their appreciation.. but they DO know how to write the checks.
Crystal 11:52 AM 12-27-2010
yes, I like the money too 
but it's the cards and home made ornaments that last forever and remind me each year of all the families I have cared for over the years 
but it's the cards and home made ornaments that last forever and remind me each year of all the families I have cared for over the years
katie 06:09 PM 12-27-2010
Nothing here either. One of my moms is my friend. But, not a very good one. I find that if they try to take advantage of you/or like was said earlier, they think you owe them, then why should I expect even a Merry Christmas? Selfish!
Unregistered 08:01 PM 12-27-2010
I got nothing. Not even a "Merry Christmas" from the parents of the child I kept on Thanksgiving and Christmas because the parents had to work and he would been in another daycare.
broncomom1973 03:08 PM 12-28-2010
Yeah, I gave each child a nice gift. When my kids went to daycare, I always got the provider a gift certificate to her favorite restaurant with a card. This year I got a light up snowman from one family and nothing from the other two. No card, nada. We gave dd kindergarten teacher a card and $25 gift certificate because I am so thankful for all she does with those kids. I cant imagine why families dont think even a verbal thank you is necessary. Oh well, next year, I'll spend half as much or less on these kids.
Unregistered 04:07 PM 12-28-2010
I agree with nannyd I would do nothing regarding Christmas. Have it obvious that you celebrate in your family however do nothing regarding gifts to children or to parents from children. I wish we didn't do anything in our center.