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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Unprofessional? And long
Nurse Jackie 07:50 AM 10-07-2016
I had a family I briefly spoke about a few months back. The mom was pregnant and when she could no longer hide her pregnancy I asked what her intentions were with the baby. She told me she couldn't afford two kids in daycare and was going to keep the baby home with dad until the beginning of next year but have the toddler still continue to come to me. A couple of months went by and the story just never made sense to me so I asked her again and this time she told me she was going to probably pull the toddler and keep her home as well and pretty much ran out of the door as I'm trying to get more information out of her on when she planned on pulling.
A couple of days went by and dad comes in and casually tells me that they were going to pull her and put her in a Montessori preschool but didn't give a date. I told him twice you need to give me a two week notice in writing. He said ok I'll let the wife know.
Her last day comes up and no one tells me nothing they both claim they didn't know about giving the notice in writing even though it's in the handbook, contract and I told him twice. He claims he told me the end date but he didn't. They ended up paying me my fee but at the same time making me feel like I was conning them.
Through out the time I found out mom was pregnant I was turning away business because I had families of multiples and their daughter was taking up one of the spots. I contemplated giving them their walking papers when I felt mom was being dishonest but at the same time thought it would be unprofessional of me, plus I felt bad for the little one because they would have to find care for her in such a short time and I remembered back to when she first started with me and how rough it was on her. My mind set has since changed. I am more so worried about what's in my family's best interest.
Fast forward to now I had one of my part time families which is actually friends of the family I was just speaking on ask about going full time before the little girl left. I asked the mom about it because dad was the one who approached me and she said they'd wait until after the little girl left and take her full time spot. That day came and past. They didn't bring it up so neither did I. About a month ago dad approached me again and they still haven't gone full time. I had 3 kids enroll since so now I don't have any full time spots open until November dad noticed the new kids and asked if I had any full time spots available I told him no that if they were serious about going full time they need to sign up for the spot that's opening in November. He tells me to run it by his wife because he'll forget so I do and she had this look like she didn't care.
I'm not going to hold a space open for just in case they want to go full time. If I interview a family and I feel like they'll be a good fit I'm not going to put them on the back burner and offer the enrolled family the spot first because the dad brought up going full time back in July. Would that be unprofessional of me. Each time I've approached mom about going full time because dad brought it up she had this look on her face like I was bothering her.
A couple of days went by and dad comes in and casually tells me that they were going to pull her and put her in a Montessori preschool but didn't give a date. I told him twice you need to give me a two week notice in writing. He said ok I'll let the wife know.
Her last day comes up and no one tells me nothing they both claim they didn't know about giving the notice in writing even though it's in the handbook, contract and I told him twice. He claims he told me the end date but he didn't. They ended up paying me my fee but at the same time making me feel like I was conning them.
Through out the time I found out mom was pregnant I was turning away business because I had families of multiples and their daughter was taking up one of the spots. I contemplated giving them their walking papers when I felt mom was being dishonest but at the same time thought it would be unprofessional of me, plus I felt bad for the little one because they would have to find care for her in such a short time and I remembered back to when she first started with me and how rough it was on her. My mind set has since changed. I am more so worried about what's in my family's best interest.
Fast forward to now I had one of my part time families which is actually friends of the family I was just speaking on ask about going full time before the little girl left. I asked the mom about it because dad was the one who approached me and she said they'd wait until after the little girl left and take her full time spot. That day came and past. They didn't bring it up so neither did I. About a month ago dad approached me again and they still haven't gone full time. I had 3 kids enroll since so now I don't have any full time spots open until November dad noticed the new kids and asked if I had any full time spots available I told him no that if they were serious about going full time they need to sign up for the spot that's opening in November. He tells me to run it by his wife because he'll forget so I do and she had this look like she didn't care.
I'm not going to hold a space open for just in case they want to go full time. If I interview a family and I feel like they'll be a good fit I'm not going to put them on the back burner and offer the enrolled family the spot first because the dad brought up going full time back in July. Would that be unprofessional of me. Each time I've approached mom about going full time because dad brought it up she had this look on her face like I was bothering her.
Baby Beluga 08:03 AM 10-07-2016
No, I don't think it was unprofessional at all. If mom/dad were serious about enrolling their child full time they would have taken the necessary steps to do so.
It sounds like they were just checking out the options as far as going full time and it is not something that is truly needed.
It sounds like they were just checking out the options as far as going full time and it is not something that is truly needed.
LostMyMarbles 08:15 AM 10-07-2016
Interesting how the first family was concerned about the cost of child care, but proceeds to pull their child and put him/her in Montessori. I am thinkin they are probably full of it.
Second family obviously knew of first family departure. If they haven't put it in writing, that spot is yours to fill.
I think that providers care more about integrity than the parents do. They have no problem leaving, so we should not have a problem filling any of the spots.
Enjoy interviewing and picks great full time family! And don't feel guilty, this is your money maker.
Second family obviously knew of first family departure. If they haven't put it in writing, that spot is yours to fill.
I think that providers care more about integrity than the parents do. They have no problem leaving, so we should not have a problem filling any of the spots.
Enjoy interviewing and picks great full time family! And don't feel guilty, this is your money maker.
daycare 08:27 AM 10-07-2016
this is how I deal with it.
families already enrolled have the first right of refusal to any new openings. I will send out an email as soon as I am made aware of the opening. From there, if a family wants to take the new schedule when the child leaves, I require a holding fee/deposit that is 100% non-refundable. If they don't turn that into me, I don't hold it for them. Instead, I move on and go to my wait list. Rinse and repeat.
families already enrolled have the first right of refusal to any new openings. I will send out an email as soon as I am made aware of the opening. From there, if a family wants to take the new schedule when the child leaves, I require a holding fee/deposit that is 100% non-refundable. If they don't turn that into me, I don't hold it for them. Instead, I move on and go to my wait list. Rinse and repeat.
Nurse Jackie 08:54 AM 10-07-2016
Originally Posted by LostMyMarbles:
Interesting how the first family was concerned about the cost of child care, but proceeds to pull their child and put him/her in Montessori. I am thinkin they are probably full of it.
I was thinking the same thing
Second family obviously knew of first family departure. If they haven't put it in writing, that spot is yours to fill.
I think that providers care more about integrity than the parents do. They have no problem leaving, so we should not have a problem filling any of the spots.
Enjoy interviewing and picks great full time family! And don't feel guilty, this is your money maker.
Everything you said is spot on. I wasn't upset that they wanted to pull I was upset about the dishonesty surrounding the whole situation. When mom lied to my face the first time I wanted to boot them right then. My Hubby said I was taking things too personal. That I had no proof mom was lying and even if she was lying I should continue to get paid until they pulled. I really bonded with the little girl as I do with all of my kids. That is the only reason why I didn't. However I didn't like the way I was being treated and when dad would pick up in the afternoon he would talk about all the things they were buying for the new baby plus the toddler they already had so I knew they weren't having money problems. I should've booted them out when I found out about the Montessori preschool but then I figured that was me being spiteful. I will tell you that whole situation made me think of things differently.Interesting how the first family was concerned about the cost of child care, but proceeds to pull their child and put him/her in Montessori. I am thinkin they are probably full of it.
I was thinking the same thing
Second family obviously knew of first family departure. If they haven't put it in writing, that spot is yours to fill.
I think that providers care more about integrity than the parents do. They have no problem leaving, so we should not have a problem filling any of the spots.
Enjoy interviewing and picks great full time family! And don't feel guilty, this is your money maker.
Nurse Jackie 08:56 AM 10-07-2016
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
No, I don't think it was unprofessional at all. If mom/dad were serious about enrolling their child full time they would have taken the necessary steps to do so.
It sounds like they were just checking out the options as far as going full time and it is not something that is truly needed.
Thanks for the reassurance.No, I don't think it was unprofessional at all. If mom/dad were serious about enrolling their child full time they would have taken the necessary steps to do so.
It sounds like they were just checking out the options as far as going full time and it is not something that is truly needed.
Nurse Jackie 08:56 AM 10-07-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
this is how I deal with it.
families already enrolled have the first right of refusal to any new openings. I will send out an email as soon as I am made aware of the opening. From there, if a family wants to take the new schedule when the child leaves, I require a holding fee/deposit that is 100% non-refundable. If they don't turn that into me, I don't hold it for them. Instead, I move on and go to my wait list. Rinse and repeat.
This is a great idea.this is how I deal with it.
families already enrolled have the first right of refusal to any new openings. I will send out an email as soon as I am made aware of the opening. From there, if a family wants to take the new schedule when the child leaves, I require a holding fee/deposit that is 100% non-refundable. If they don't turn that into me, I don't hold it for them. Instead, I move on and go to my wait list. Rinse and repeat.
Blackcat31 10:41 AM 10-07-2016
My advice.... stop listening to anything they "say" and only address what is brought to you in writing.
DCF wants to pull their child from care?
At the first mention of this:
You say "I will e-mail you the withdrawal section of my handbook outlining what steps you need to follow"
Then e-mail them. Require a response that they received the e-mail.
If you do not get anything in writing...continue on as if nothing was mentioned.
In the case where a parent asked about moving from part time to full time, I would have said "E-mail me what days/times etc that you are wanting and I'll get back to you"
DCD says to run it by his wife because he'll forget ...
Um, that one would have had me giving him the blank stare... It's not my job to run anything by his wife pertaining to THEIR needs and his habit of forgetting has nothing to do with you....
Do ALL discussion via e-mail. It will serve as documentation of such conversations and it will save you from ever having a parent say "Oh well we didn't know" or "Well, we told you X" Its also proof for lots of things.
My reply to ANY of that kind of stuff is always something like: "Where in writing does it say?" or "Where in writing did you tell me X?"
DCF wants to pull their child from care?
At the first mention of this:
You say "I will e-mail you the withdrawal section of my handbook outlining what steps you need to follow"
Then e-mail them. Require a response that they received the e-mail.
If you do not get anything in writing...continue on as if nothing was mentioned.
In the case where a parent asked about moving from part time to full time, I would have said "E-mail me what days/times etc that you are wanting and I'll get back to you"
DCD says to run it by his wife because he'll forget ...
Um, that one would have had me giving him the blank stare... It's not my job to run anything by his wife pertaining to THEIR needs and his habit of forgetting has nothing to do with you....
Do ALL discussion via e-mail. It will serve as documentation of such conversations and it will save you from ever having a parent say "Oh well we didn't know" or "Well, we told you X" Its also proof for lots of things.
My reply to ANY of that kind of stuff is always something like: "Where in writing does it say?" or "Where in writing did you tell me X?"
Mike 12:07 PM 10-07-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My advice.... stop listening to anything they "say" and only address what is brought to you in writing.
DCF wants to pull their child from care?
At the first mention of this:
You say "I will e-mail you the withdrawal section of my handbook outlining what steps you need to follow"
Then e-mail them. Require a response that they received the e-mail.
If you do not get anything in writing...continue on as if nothing was mentioned.
In the case where a parent asked about moving from part time to full time, I would have said "E-mail me what days/times etc that you are wanting and I'll get back to you"
DCD says to run it by his wife because he'll forget ...
Um, that one would have had me giving him the blank stare... It's not my job to run anything by his wife pertaining to THEIR needs and his habit of forgetting has nothing to do with you....
Do ALL discussion via e-mail. It will serve as documentation of such conversations and it will save you from ever having a parent say "Oh well we didn't know" or "Well, we told you X" Its also proof for lots of things.
My reply to ANY of that kind of stuff is always something like: "Where in writing does it say?" or "Where in writing did you tell me X?"
My advice.... stop listening to anything they "say" and only address what is brought to you in writing.
DCF wants to pull their child from care?
At the first mention of this:
You say "I will e-mail you the withdrawal section of my handbook outlining what steps you need to follow"
Then e-mail them. Require a response that they received the e-mail.
If you do not get anything in writing...continue on as if nothing was mentioned.
In the case where a parent asked about moving from part time to full time, I would have said "E-mail me what days/times etc that you are wanting and I'll get back to you"
DCD says to run it by his wife because he'll forget ...
Um, that one would have had me giving him the blank stare... It's not my job to run anything by his wife pertaining to THEIR needs and his habit of forgetting has nothing to do with you....
Do ALL discussion via e-mail. It will serve as documentation of such conversations and it will save you from ever having a parent say "Oh well we didn't know" or "Well, we told you X" Its also proof for lots of things.
My reply to ANY of that kind of stuff is always something like: "Where in writing does it say?" or "Where in writing did you tell me X?"
Very true and good idea. In my website hosting business, I've had people call me about different things and I always follow up with an email. It is an Internet business after all. Later, I may get arguments and I'll forward them the email.
Controlled Chaos 12:14 PM 10-07-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My advice.... stop listening to anything they "say" and only address what is brought to you in writing.
DCF wants to pull their child from care?
At the first mention of this:
You say "I will e-mail you the withdrawal section of my handbook outlining what steps you need to follow"
Then e-mail them. Require a response that they received the e-mail.
If you do not get anything in writing...continue on as if nothing was mentioned.
In the case where a parent asked about moving from part time to full time, I would have said "E-mail me what days/times etc that you are wanting and I'll get back to you"
DCD says to run it by his wife because he'll forget ...
Um, that one would have had me giving him the blank stare... It's not my job to run anything by his wife pertaining to THEIR needs and his habit of forgetting has nothing to do with you....
Do ALL discussion via e-mail. It will serve as documentation of such conversations and it will save you from ever having a parent say "Oh well we didn't know" or "Well, we told you X" Its also proof for lots of things.
My reply to ANY of that kind of stuff is always something like: "Where in writing does it say?" or "Where in writing did you tell me X?"
I always tell parents - I will email you the details. I don't have the time or brain power to talk business at pick up. I am just fried. I usually email parents change in schedule/payment/withdrawl paperwork etc during nap and then I can let them know at pick up to check their email. I have a family waiting for FT here, a spot opened up, I offered it, they passed and will hope something opens up in a few months. I always offer to current families first.My advice.... stop listening to anything they "say" and only address what is brought to you in writing.
DCF wants to pull their child from care?
At the first mention of this:
You say "I will e-mail you the withdrawal section of my handbook outlining what steps you need to follow"
Then e-mail them. Require a response that they received the e-mail.
If you do not get anything in writing...continue on as if nothing was mentioned.
In the case where a parent asked about moving from part time to full time, I would have said "E-mail me what days/times etc that you are wanting and I'll get back to you"
DCD says to run it by his wife because he'll forget ...
Um, that one would have had me giving him the blank stare... It's not my job to run anything by his wife pertaining to THEIR needs and his habit of forgetting has nothing to do with you....
Do ALL discussion via e-mail. It will serve as documentation of such conversations and it will save you from ever having a parent say "Oh well we didn't know" or "Well, we told you X" Its also proof for lots of things.
My reply to ANY of that kind of stuff is always something like: "Where in writing does it say?" or "Where in writing did you tell me X?"
daycare 12:35 PM 10-07-2016
paper trail, email is the best way.
I never do anything other than small talk at the door. I won't recall who told me what by the end of the day. Anything that is important I need for you to email me or arrange a time we can talk. AND as soon as we talk, I will follow up our conversation with an email, creating a paper trial and making certain that we are all on the same page.
this way I am not being pressured right away to give an answer, it gives me time to think. I know parents often ask us questions at the door and we are caught off guard and may answer with something that we didn't really want to do because we are just tring to get them an answer.
This is where the can you call or email me, or I will have to get back to you on that, please email me.
I never do anything other than small talk at the door. I won't recall who told me what by the end of the day. Anything that is important I need for you to email me or arrange a time we can talk. AND as soon as we talk, I will follow up our conversation with an email, creating a paper trial and making certain that we are all on the same page.
this way I am not being pressured right away to give an answer, it gives me time to think. I know parents often ask us questions at the door and we are caught off guard and may answer with something that we didn't really want to do because we are just tring to get them an answer.
This is where the can you call or email me, or I will have to get back to you on that, please email me.
Mom2Two 01:15 PM 10-07-2016
After reading the first story, my thoughts were "And people wonder why there's a lack of quality daycare." Um, maybe it's because people don't like getting treated like that. On the times when I've had a daycare family act so selfishly or dishonestly it just makes me want to quit.
To me it sounded like the second family was just trying to keep their options open without committing, and without caring how it affected you. I think you were right to not get sucked into that.
Also, it sounded like mom and dad were not on the same page. It might have just been dad thinking he was being smart.
To me it sounded like the second family was just trying to keep their options open without committing, and without caring how it affected you. I think you were right to not get sucked into that.
Also, it sounded like mom and dad were not on the same page. It might have just been dad thinking he was being smart.
Nurse Jackie 02:30 PM 10-07-2016
Great advice! Having a paper trail is the best way to go from here on out.
Ariana 07:33 AM 10-08-2016
I agree with email discussions only, nothing at the door. Give a deadlined date to have them reapond as well.
"Dear dcf,
A full time spot has become available as of november 2016. I like to give my already enrolled family first right of refusal for any openeings that are available. If you are interested in this spot please let me know no later than XXX. After this time the spot will be offered to another family."
This takes their wishy washy bs behavior and throws it out the window and puts the control back in your hands where it belongs. There is fair and professional and then there is being a pushover. They should have zero control over your spots or your business practices.
Good luck
"Dear dcf,
A full time spot has become available as of november 2016. I like to give my already enrolled family first right of refusal for any openeings that are available. If you are interested in this spot please let me know no later than XXX. After this time the spot will be offered to another family."
This takes their wishy washy bs behavior and throws it out the window and puts the control back in your hands where it belongs. There is fair and professional and then there is being a pushover. They should have zero control over your spots or your business practices.
Good luck
midaycare 07:47 PM 10-08-2016
I will tell a dcf they have "x" amount of time to decide if they want to pick up more days (usually one week), and then also tell them, "I'm already interviewing for that spot, so if you want it let me know quickly, and if not, it's not a big deal."
Then I go ahead and line up interviews, as if they already said no and start the process. That way dcf's can say no and I haven't lost any time getting new clients in, or they can say yes and I can simply stop the interview process.
And yes, email. Paperwork trail for important conversations.
Then I go ahead and line up interviews, as if they already said no and start the process. That way dcf's can say no and I haven't lost any time getting new clients in, or they can say yes and I can simply stop the interview process.
And yes, email. Paperwork trail for important conversations.