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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Preschool Pressure
Shell 10:30 AM 09-09-2013
I did a search on here, and saw that this topic has come up before, but it seems it has been a little while.
Now that school has started around here, I'm noticing a lot of parents posting pictures one facebook of their little ones on their first day of preschool. I am noticing a trend that these kids are getting younger and younger. One post today was of a 2 year old attending his first day.
My own mom kept my brother and I home until we were 4, and I think we turned out ok
Also, I am a former Preschool and Kindergarten teacher, and I am quite familiar with state frameworks and benchmarks for this age group.
Now that ds is 3, I am getting a lot of pressure from outsiders, including a neighbor, that frown when I say I plan on keeping ds home for at least another year. I really feel like this is what I want to do, but it's so common where I am from to have your child enrolled in full day school from infancy on
Did any of you stay home with your children until they were older? Would you mind sharing any pros/cons of keeping them out of formal preschool?
Now that school has started around here, I'm noticing a lot of parents posting pictures one facebook of their little ones on their first day of preschool. I am noticing a trend that these kids are getting younger and younger. One post today was of a 2 year old attending his first day.
My own mom kept my brother and I home until we were 4, and I think we turned out ok
Also, I am a former Preschool and Kindergarten teacher, and I am quite familiar with state frameworks and benchmarks for this age group. Now that ds is 3, I am getting a lot of pressure from outsiders, including a neighbor, that frown when I say I plan on keeping ds home for at least another year. I really feel like this is what I want to do, but it's so common where I am from to have your child enrolled in full day school from infancy on
Did any of you stay home with your children until they were older? Would you mind sharing any pros/cons of keeping them out of formal preschool?
Unregistered 10:41 AM 09-09-2013
None of my children went to "formal" preschool. We did preschool here. One of my kiddos didn't even go to school till they were six because of the way their birthday fell and the others were 5.5 years old before going to anytype of school. These kiddos get so little time with the parents and I'm not understanding the mindset of pushing them out earlier and earlier. You can even pick the day your child is born which blows me away. Everything anymore is about convenience!
cheerfuldom 10:46 AM 09-09-2013
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
LoraJenkins 10:48 AM 09-09-2013
My children never went to preschool. Both of my sons were almost 6 before they started kindergarten and my daughters were early 5s. They never left my side before that day unless I was literally in the hospital. Oh, I got the "your child is NOT going to adjust to school" and "you child will experience extreme separation anxiety". Guess what? All of my children adjusted just fine and we had NO meltdowns!
As far as pros/cons for keeping them home with me....I can not think of any cons! The Pros: I loved every moment I had with them, they were very well adjusted children with plenty of confidence, I was able to ready them for kindy myself, and so much more! I could never think of doing it any other way!
As far as pros/cons for keeping them home with me....I can not think of any cons! The Pros: I loved every moment I had with them, they were very well adjusted children with plenty of confidence, I was able to ready them for kindy myself, and so much more! I could never think of doing it any other way!
snbauser 10:51 AM 09-09-2013
My oldest went to preschool but only because dh and I both worked ft outside of the home. My middle went to preschool because he needed to receive therapies. My youngest went for the 6 months before he started Kindy but only because he was such a momma's boy that I couldn't go ANYWHERE without him or he would cry the entire time I was gone. So I knew we needed to work that out before he started Kindy. If it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't have sent him at all since I was working on preschool stuff daily in my program.
Maria2013 10:52 AM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
NeedaVaca 11:04 AM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
Exactly! I wanted my kids with me for as long as I could, why on earth would I send them away so young when they learn even more when they are with me? They had plenty of play dates and kids to play with, there is simply no reason to send kids to school this young! It's just because these parents have to work (or have time to themselves) and it sounds better to say they are in preschool than daycare...so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
Bottom line for me: I kept them home because I love them and they grow up so fast, I would never want to miss it!
Crazy In Mo 11:16 AM 09-09-2013
I stayed home with my son until he was 4. I don't regret a single thing about it
that time can never be replaced
that time can never be replaced
JoseyJo 11:23 AM 09-09-2013
I never went to preschool or daycare. My mom was a SAHM and she says I was so far ahead in K I was bored and got in trouble
snbauser 11:23 AM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
It's just because these parents have to work (or have time to themselves) and it sounds better to say they are in preschool than daycare...
This! It's just because these parents have to work (or have time to themselves) and it sounds better to say they are in preschool than daycare...
Leigh 11:36 AM 09-09-2013
Unless I felt that preschool were offering something that my child absolutely could not get at home (that was also necessary), I would not send a child younger than 4 to preschool, either. At age 3, kids have lots to learn about life, and I believe it's healthier to let them be kids for as long as possible. Don't let people put pressure on you, only YOU know what's best for your own family.
Jack Sprat 11:46 AM 09-09-2013
Our DD just started what we call Kinder-prep this school year. She is 4.5 and will turn 5 in Dec. Best choice we ever made was to keep her home till this year. She is socially very advanced and is progressing nicely in academics. I think there is too much pressure put upon these little people to preform. I know the standards and what Common Core is wanting her to know by the time she is in KDG and more then likely she will know it. If not then she will get there. People would frown at me when I told them she wouldn't be going to pre-school and usually go on a little about being behind. My response was that she would be right where she needed to be when she needed to be there. And if not it will all work out. 
slorey 11:57 AM 09-09-2013
I did not send my kids to preschool. My oldest (now 10) was enrolled in a group family child care because I was teaching full time. I started doing home daycare when he started kg. My middle (now 7) was home with me and the daycare. I am still deciding what to do with my youngest (age 2.5) but if I send him to preschool it wouldn't be until he was 4 and only if I thought he needed it socially (right now he's a mommas boy and doesn't tolerate being away from me for very long). My older kids are both at the top of their class academically and also are very socially adjusted. In my opinion, the kids need time with you more and as long as you provide them with a strong foundation, they will be fine without attending formal preschool.
Blackcat31 12:00 PM 09-09-2013
Head Start doesn't think there are any long term benefits from structured preschool education.....
They did their own study and found out that even their programs had no lasting impact beyond grade 3.
They did their own study and found out that even their programs had no lasting impact beyond grade 3.
spinnymarie 12:06 PM 09-09-2013
I am a former K teacher - there *can* be a big difference at the start of K between kids who went to preschool and kids who did not. HOWEVER
My DD attended 2 days/wk of preschool last year and this year is staying home - we are doing 'homeschool' preschool, and next year she will go to K.
IMO the only downside to NOT attending is I think its hard for *some* kids to get used to taking directions from someone outside their family. And, unfortunately, it's hard to know which kids these are until they've been in a school-setting.
So as long as you are teaching the skills at home, and there are plenty of opportunities for your LO to be independent in a setting where directions are given from someone outside his family (including grandmas and grandpas) I think there really is no huge benefit to preschool.
Since I started home dc, it's likely that DS won't go to any, and if any very little, preschool, just like DD. We will put him in a few other activities with coaches and other kids or teachers and other kids, and continue to do the work at home, and I'm sure he will be just fine. If we were having an issue with him listening or something at one of these activities, I might reconsider and have him attend more preschool.
My DD attended 2 days/wk of preschool last year and this year is staying home - we are doing 'homeschool' preschool, and next year she will go to K.
IMO the only downside to NOT attending is I think its hard for *some* kids to get used to taking directions from someone outside their family. And, unfortunately, it's hard to know which kids these are until they've been in a school-setting.
So as long as you are teaching the skills at home, and there are plenty of opportunities for your LO to be independent in a setting where directions are given from someone outside his family (including grandmas and grandpas) I think there really is no huge benefit to preschool.
Since I started home dc, it's likely that DS won't go to any, and if any very little, preschool, just like DD. We will put him in a few other activities with coaches and other kids or teachers and other kids, and continue to do the work at home, and I'm sure he will be just fine. If we were having an issue with him listening or something at one of these activities, I might reconsider and have him attend more preschool.
Unregistered 12:30 PM 09-09-2013
My 5.5 year old daughter never went to preschool. She just started Kindergarden 3 weeks ago. I can offer everything a preschool does except a large number of children. I was a little concerned about separation anxiety since she has been home with me for 4 years but she did amazing! Didn't cry once! She is already at the top of her class, she is a little bored because they are teaching her stuff she already knows Almost all of my parents past and present have stayed with me until Kindergarden. One child was because they offered free preschool to 4 year olds full time. The single mom was struggling financially so it didn't surprise me. The second was a child with some behavior issues. She put him in preschool 2 half days a week so he could get used to it before sending him to Kindergarden. Also understandable. Going from 5 friends to 20 can be a huge adjustment for some kiddos. Honestly there are a hundred pros to not sending to preschool if you can teach your child. The only con I can think of is just adjusting to the larger setting. For most children its not a problem. Enjoy your child and ignore the other people. Same thing happened to me. After awhile I got frustrated I said to one person "I actually enjoy having my child home with me and I'm not going to push her off onto someone else to raise just because you want me to"
Almost all of my parents past and present have stayed with me until Kindergarden. One child was because they offered free preschool to 4 year olds full time. The single mom was struggling financially so it didn't surprise me. The second was a child with some behavior issues. She put him in preschool 2 half days a week so he could get used to it before sending him to Kindergarden. Also understandable. Going from 5 friends to 20 can be a huge adjustment for some kiddos. Honestly there are a hundred pros to not sending to preschool if you can teach your child. The only con I can think of is just adjusting to the larger setting. For most children its not a problem. Enjoy your child and ignore the other people. Same thing happened to me. After awhile I got frustrated I said to one person "I actually enjoy having my child home with me and I'm not going to push her off onto someone else to raise just because you want me to"
Play Care 01:08 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle:
I did a search on here, and saw that this topic has come up before, but it seems it has been a little while.
Now that school has started around here, I'm noticing a lot of parents posting pictures one facebook of their little ones on their first day of preschool. I am noticing a trend that these kids are getting younger and younger. One post today was of a 2 year old attending his first day.
My own mom kept my brother and I home until we were 4, and I think we turned out ok Also, I am a former Preschool and Kindergarten teacher, and I am quite familiar with state frameworks and benchmarks for this age group.
Now that ds is 3, I am getting a lot of pressure from outsiders, including a neighbor, that frown when I say I plan on keeping ds home for at least another year. I really feel like this is what I want to do, but it's so common where I am from to have your child enrolled in full day school from infancy on
Did any of you stay home with your children until they were older? Would you mind sharing any pros/cons of keeping them out of formal preschool?
I sent my kids to preschool at 4, and I was glad I did. I was on of those kids whose parents didn't believe in preschool and did NOT do well in K. Sure I knew my numbers and letters, but I cried all day. And heaven forbid my mom came in to volunteerI did a search on here, and saw that this topic has come up before, but it seems it has been a little while.
Now that school has started around here, I'm noticing a lot of parents posting pictures one facebook of their little ones on their first day of preschool. I am noticing a trend that these kids are getting younger and younger. One post today was of a 2 year old attending his first day.
My own mom kept my brother and I home until we were 4, and I think we turned out ok
Also, I am a former Preschool and Kindergarten teacher, and I am quite familiar with state frameworks and benchmarks for this age group. Now that ds is 3, I am getting a lot of pressure from outsiders, including a neighbor, that frown when I say I plan on keeping ds home for at least another year. I really feel like this is what I want to do, but it's so common where I am from to have your child enrolled in full day school from infancy on
Did any of you stay home with your children until they were older? Would you mind sharing any pros/cons of keeping them out of formal preschool?
All that said, I do not like the idea of sending kids any earlier then 4. Part of my program is to transport to to our local preschool. And I'm telling parents that this is the last year I will transport to the 3 yo class. It has been so stressful because parents are pushing to get kids potty trained so they can go to school, and in one case it's not happening.
Good luck!
Willow 01:23 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
I have two four year olds who started pre-k last week. When they get here from there just before lunch they tell me how boring it is and how nuts all the kids are. They already know all they need to know to get into k, so basically their parents are paying extra to send them to two daycares at the same time.
I never sent my own for those reasons and despite one being dyslexic they're still amongst the brightest in their respective classes.
preschoolteacher 02:47 PM 09-09-2013
I think it really depends. Lots of parents have absolutely no idea what their kids need to be able to do before kindergarten. I'm sure some of you have met parents like this... either they are parents who aren't working on educational concepts at home OR they are parents who work quite hard on the educational stuff, but for whatever reason, aren't helping their kids advance socially, follow directions, learn how to work in a group. For these families, preschool is really important! I don't mean to imply these parents are bad or lazy. Lots simply just don't know what their kids should be able to do by the time they are in K.
I think if you have a good grasp on the educational side of things as a parent, and if your child has regular opportunities to be around other kids in social settings, there should be no reason to send them to a formal preschool.
I think if you have a good grasp on the educational side of things as a parent, and if your child has regular opportunities to be around other kids in social settings, there should be no reason to send them to a formal preschool.
craftymissbeth 03:05 PM 09-09-2013
But why do children need to know SO much before kindy? Why is it that children are required to know so much more than the basics? They've only been on this earth a measly five/six years for Pete's sake!
In my opinion, it's far more important for children to be well behaved and to know the basics (I'm talking ABC's 123's, etc.). Parents today seem to consider early formal education as a higher priority than simply preparing them to behave as civil human beings.
(This is not aimed at anyone in particular)
In my opinion, it's far more important for children to be well behaved and to know the basics (I'm talking ABC's 123's, etc.). Parents today seem to consider early formal education as a higher priority than simply preparing them to behave as civil human beings.
(This is not aimed at anyone in particular)
Shell 04:07 PM 09-09-2013
So many great points here! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and opinions. I feel much more secure with my decision thanks to all of your input.
I think this about sums it up for me, too
Bottom line for me: I kept them home because I love them and they grow up so fast, I would never want to miss it![/quote]
I think this about sums it up for me, too
Bottom line for me: I kept them home because I love them and they grow up so fast, I would never want to miss it![/quote]
Shell 04:11 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Head Start doesn't think there are any long term benefits from structured preschool education.....
They did their own study and found out that even their programs had no lasting impact beyond grade 3.
Head Start doesn't think there are any long term benefits from structured preschool education.....
They did their own study and found out that even their programs had no lasting impact beyond grade 3.
Great point
Laurel 06:25 PM 09-09-2013
Well I sent all 3 of mine to preschool when they were 3 and loved it. I was a stay at home mom and didn't do child care back then. They went for 3 hours a day to a cutting edge Montessori school. I thought it was laid back, NO pressure and they had wonderful experiences.
That said, my granddaughter (who was in my childcare) went to something we have in Florida called VPK (Voluntary Pre Kindergarten). It is free. The first school she went to was great but then they had to move and the second one wasn't so great so she ended up coming back to me until kindergarten. She did great not going to preschool (for long anyway). She always called my house "Grandma's School" even though I never called it that.
I don't think it is necessary at all but I found schools I loved and even to this day my daughter said going there gave her a love for learning. I told her that a lot of that was because of what I did at home and how could she even remember because she went when she was 3 and 4, lol.
I absolutely don't think it is necessary but it isn't necessarily bad either. Where I sent my children was fantastic.
Laurel
P.S. Later when my children were in middle school and high school I worked as a teaching assistant in a Montessori preschool and I also was in charge of the Before and After School program. No pressure, really. It was wonderful.
That said, my granddaughter (who was in my childcare) went to something we have in Florida called VPK (Voluntary Pre Kindergarten). It is free. The first school she went to was great but then they had to move and the second one wasn't so great so she ended up coming back to me until kindergarten. She did great not going to preschool (for long anyway). She always called my house "Grandma's School" even though I never called it that.
I don't think it is necessary at all but I found schools I loved and even to this day my daughter said going there gave her a love for learning. I told her that a lot of that was because of what I did at home and how could she even remember because she went when she was 3 and 4, lol.
I absolutely don't think it is necessary but it isn't necessarily bad either. Where I sent my children was fantastic.
Laurel
P.S. Later when my children were in middle school and high school I worked as a teaching assistant in a Montessori preschool and I also was in charge of the Before and After School program. No pressure, really. It was wonderful.
Nebula 01:31 AM 09-10-2013
Our program takes ages 18 months to 4 years. Now the 18 months to 2 years are the "Preppers" class, very limited daily structure & curriclum- but prepares them for Pre-School
My 3 & 4 year olds are "Pre-School" and my 4 Year olds who are going into K are my "Pre-K"
Once they turn 5 , we no longer keep them.
My 3 & 4 year olds are "Pre-School" and my 4 Year olds who are going into K are my "Pre-K"
Once they turn 5 , we no longer keep them.
Laurel 03:12 AM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by Nebula:
Our program takes ages 18 months to 4 years. Now the 18 months to 2 years are the "Preppers" class, very limited daily structure & curriclum- but prepares them for Pre-School
My 3 & 4 year olds are "Pre-School" and my 4 Year olds who are going into K are my "Pre-K"
Once they turn 5 , we no longer keep them.
Where I sent mine they only took ages 3, 4 and 5. In those days that was considered a preschool. Anything younger was daycare.Our program takes ages 18 months to 4 years. Now the 18 months to 2 years are the "Preppers" class, very limited daily structure & curriclum- but prepares them for Pre-School
My 3 & 4 year olds are "Pre-School" and my 4 Year olds who are going into K are my "Pre-K"
Once they turn 5 , we no longer keep them.
Laurel
Nebula 04:04 AM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
Where I sent mine they only took ages 3, 4 and 5. In those days that was considered a preschool. Anything younger was daycare.
Laurel
I just provide the need for the parents in our area, we have a local pre k program through the public school.Technically you could say the "Preppers" class is Daycare.Where I sent mine they only took ages 3, 4 and 5. In those days that was considered a preschool. Anything younger was daycare.
Laurel
I totally agree with getting kids to behave like civilized human beings. About shoving knowledge down their throat (see daddy day care LOL) and just letting them be kids. We don't have an intense Pre-K program, but we do go on board with what the local K teacher expects. Which is well behaved, kids who know how to follow directions and don't cry at the drop of a hat!
MNMum 08:40 AM 09-10-2013
The need to send 2+ to preschool is really making it difficult for me to run a daycare. In my area, almost all 3 and 4 yos are in preschool. If a child is turning 3 before January, I've noticed most parents pushing them into preschool.
My oldest was an October birthday. She never went to formal preschool. I was home with her most of the time, or other family members. She did a 1 day/wk Mom's day out program. She excelled socially and academically.
My second is a March Birthday. Where we lived at the time they offered free 4-year old Kindergarten. She did that 4 days/wk for most of the year till we moved. She also excelled socially and academically.
I struggle with this same decision with my third who is also an October Birthday. Mostly because he is bored at home with my daycare kids. He will be 4 this year. If I send him next year, it's not because he *needs* it. More because I know he would have fun with friends. And I'm stuck here with the daycare and can't get him out to socialize like I did with my others.
My oldest was an October birthday. She never went to formal preschool. I was home with her most of the time, or other family members. She did a 1 day/wk Mom's day out program. She excelled socially and academically.
My second is a March Birthday. Where we lived at the time they offered free 4-year old Kindergarten. She did that 4 days/wk for most of the year till we moved. She also excelled socially and academically.
I struggle with this same decision with my third who is also an October Birthday. Mostly because he is bored at home with my daycare kids. He will be 4 this year. If I send him next year, it's not because he *needs* it. More because I know he would have fun with friends. And I'm stuck here with the daycare and can't get him out to socialize like I did with my others.
Shell 10:08 AM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by MNMum:
The need to send 2+ to preschool is really making it difficult for me to run a daycare. In my area, almost all 3 and 4 yos are in preschool. If a child is turning 3 before January, I've noticed most parents pushing them into preschool. .
The need to send 2+ to preschool is really making it difficult for me to run a daycare. In my area, almost all 3 and 4 yos are in preschool. If a child is turning 3 before January, I've noticed most parents pushing them into preschool. .
I see it being competition for me, too, in the future. My older dc kids that have been with me for years have no intention of leaving before age 4, but I find the parents of the older infants are already contemplating when/what age to send the kids to preschool. Parents around here think Preschool is some kind of magic land where their child learns everything they will ever need to know in life. I have years of experience teaching in these public and private schools, and know that it isn't all that glamorous (depending on the program, of course).
melilley 10:25 AM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
so you have a daycare and you have a lot of experience teaching which I am sure you bring into your daycare schedule.....and your child is supposedly missing out on something? whatever. he is getting the best of both worlds at home IMO. screw all the naysayers and do what is right for your family. the preschools at 2 and 3 are almost always glorified daycare. some learning and circle time mixed in but generally, a good portion of the day, if not all the day, is exactly what you do in your home anyway.
This is so true!