Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I No Longer Watch My Grandkids :(
Unregistered 10:13 AM 08-16-2013
I need opinions here! Ive been watching my 4 year old granddaughter her whole life. I now have her 8 month old brother. My granddaughter is loud, mean and throws screaming fits if she doesnt get what she wants. Yes shes like this at home too. Well i had a bad day the other day and i sent my daughter a text telling her how i can hardly take it anymore and she needs to work with her. For instance, before mom came here to pick up, I warned my gd not to throw a fit when its time to clean up herrrr mess. Well she did as usual. Screaming crying convulsion like fits! So my daughter cleaned up her mess! I told my daughter she needs to "stop that"! Ive neverrr complained about every little detail of my gd because I know my daughter would get an attitude about it. My daughter never responded to my text and didnt even mention it at pick up. then when she got home, she sent me a text basically telling me she is putting my gd into a preschool but i can still watch the baby. Before this, she did enroll her for 2 days a week then after my text she enrolled her for 4 days. This preschool is charging her over 50$ a day. I watch my grandkids for pennies! So I told her she should seek alternate care for the baby as well. What if he does something wrong and i complain??? im not risking it. Im beside myself. I feel like its a slap in the face to pull my granddaughter out of here because I complained ONCE! I am sooo mad and sooo upset about this situation! My daughter and I are very close but my granddaughter is out of control! She is super smart! More advanced than any of my dc kids. She knows she's being bad! Shes a bully to the other kids, shes just mean 
How would u feel? Im so done! Ive had a hard time keeping this dc going but kept on it so my daughter wouldnt be without a sitter! Now the kids are gone..Im ready to close it all down!
How would u feel? Im so done! Ive had a hard time keeping this dc going but kept on it so my daughter wouldnt be without a sitter! Now the kids are gone..Im ready to close it all down!
crazydaycarelady 10:18 AM 08-16-2013
You complained about your granddaughter and your daughter found a solution. Personally, I think you took it a step too far when you told her to send the baby elsewhere also.
canadiancare 10:20 AM 08-16-2013
I am sorry you are feeling slighted and taken advantage of. If you can manage it maybe this is a perfect time to retire and enjoy your grandchildren in a more informal manner.
I hope to be able to help my kids out with care but I don't want to feel that I can't speak up.
I hope to be able to help my kids out with care but I don't want to feel that I can't speak up.
mom2many 11:01 AM 08-16-2013
I have had several dcks over the years start coming to me after they'd been watched by their grandma. In one instance, the grandma actually approached me at the kids school asking if I could watch her grandson. She was tired of being the "babysitter" and wanted to be just "grandma" again.
Kids act differently with parents and it is too bad that she was acting so poorly for you too.
I am a new grandma and want to spend every single second that I can with my granddaughter, so I cannot imagine reaching this point. I would be devastated.
Hopefully with this change, you can establish a more positive relationship with your grand kids and relish and enjoy the fun aspects of being a grandma again!
Kids act differently with parents and it is too bad that she was acting so poorly for you too.
I am a new grandma and want to spend every single second that I can with my granddaughter, so I cannot imagine reaching this point. I would be devastated.
Hopefully with this change, you can establish a more positive relationship with your grand kids and relish and enjoy the fun aspects of being a grandma again!
MyAngels 11:10 AM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
You complained about your granddaughter and your daughter found a solution. Personally, I think you took it a step too far when you told her to send the baby elsewhere also.
Just from the info in your post, I agree with this. It sounds like your daughter is just trying to find a workable way to help you in this situation. You complained about your granddaughter and your daughter found a solution. Personally, I think you took it a step too far when you told her to send the baby elsewhere also.
I watch my gdd as well and I know it can be tough sometimes to remember that, although you have a ton more experience with kids in general, your dd is her mother and at the end of the day you have to respect her decisions regarding her children.
Unregistered 11:17 AM 08-16-2013
I think it was good of you to tell her not to clean up the mess and that you fed up with her behavior. Sounds like the girl is needing more discipline at home and the Mom needs to know. I would have kept watching the 8 month old and if she gets offended by anything else stop watching him. Sorry you are going thru a hard time.
cheerfuldom 11:20 AM 08-16-2013
It sounds like your grand daughter would do better at preschool. There would be no relationship involved that may hinder her progress. Why not support your daughter's decision and see if this works? this should be about what is best for this child, not what does or does not hurt your feelings. I agree that it was low of you to refuse to care for your grand son. Your daughter is the mom, this is her decision. It didnt sound like you wanted to take care of your grand daughter anymore anyways so I dont understand why you are upset.
LK5kids 11:35 AM 08-16-2013
Sorry....loooooong post! But I have been through this to some degree too!
I quit a great job that i had worked at for 14 yrs and had enough raises that I could never get to that pay scale again for my granddaughter/daughter because I was so worried about the very sweet provider who cared for my granddaughter but took tons of kids and lots of them were infants and toddlers!
There were a few other reasons I quit too, but this put me over the edge!
My granddaughter had just turned two. This was in Dec. 2012. She was so horrible for me and I am no push over, wishy washy grandma! She would melt down, scratch me, kick and scream at the slightest provacation and also bang her head on the door and trash my bedroom during naptime, etc. by May my daughter knew my granddaughter was on probation and wouldn't be coming back in the fall if things didn't change.
My daughter is off summers(a teacher) and they would come to visit this summer during child care hours, there would be a melt down and out the door they woud have to go. It was to the point that I didn't think she could come back.
My granddaughter would say, "We get kicked out again?". My daughter is a firm and consistent disciplinarian, but she was 2 yrs od and maybe it's too hard to share your grandma with a group....I don't know! All I know it wasn't working.
We worked on it all summer and my granddaughter knew she wouldn't be able to come back if she didn't listen when here.
Well she started back two days this week & is doing awesome! I hope it stays this way.
I don't think you need to feel bad about your granddaughter going elsewhere! There is no reason for that kind of behavior and your daughter needs to back you up!
I know I can't and won't put up with it. You should not have to walk on pins and needles. You don't owe child care to your daughter. She should be thankful and bend over backwards to help with this situation.
I think the dynamics are tricky. It may be better for your relationship with your granddaughter if you you don't offer care for her. Spend outside time with her.
My daughter and granddaughter both know it will be bye bye if she takes a turn for the worse. She's only two, but knows the $h!+ has hit the fan in this situation and G Ma isn't putting up with it again!
Good luck.....take care of yourself. You really need to think of yourself and be able to enjoy your life. Life is too short to care wild, disrespectful grandkids!
I quit a great job that i had worked at for 14 yrs and had enough raises that I could never get to that pay scale again for my granddaughter/daughter because I was so worried about the very sweet provider who cared for my granddaughter but took tons of kids and lots of them were infants and toddlers!
There were a few other reasons I quit too, but this put me over the edge!
My granddaughter had just turned two. This was in Dec. 2012. She was so horrible for me and I am no push over, wishy washy grandma! She would melt down, scratch me, kick and scream at the slightest provacation and also bang her head on the door and trash my bedroom during naptime, etc. by May my daughter knew my granddaughter was on probation and wouldn't be coming back in the fall if things didn't change.
My daughter is off summers(a teacher) and they would come to visit this summer during child care hours, there would be a melt down and out the door they woud have to go. It was to the point that I didn't think she could come back.
My granddaughter would say, "We get kicked out again?". My daughter is a firm and consistent disciplinarian, but she was 2 yrs od and maybe it's too hard to share your grandma with a group....I don't know! All I know it wasn't working.
We worked on it all summer and my granddaughter knew she wouldn't be able to come back if she didn't listen when here.
Well she started back two days this week & is doing awesome! I hope it stays this way.
I don't think you need to feel bad about your granddaughter going elsewhere! There is no reason for that kind of behavior and your daughter needs to back you up!
I know I can't and won't put up with it. You should not have to walk on pins and needles. You don't owe child care to your daughter. She should be thankful and bend over backwards to help with this situation.
I think the dynamics are tricky. It may be better for your relationship with your granddaughter if you you don't offer care for her. Spend outside time with her.
My daughter and granddaughter both know it will be bye bye if she takes a turn for the worse. She's only two, but knows the $h!+ has hit the fan in this situation and G Ma isn't putting up with it again!
Good luck.....take care of yourself. You really need to think of yourself and be able to enjoy your life. Life is too short to care wild, disrespectful grandkids!
Blackcat31 11:44 AM 08-16-2013
I agree with the fact that you asked your DD to find alternate care for your grandson.
If your DD is not willing to work with you in controlling your granddaughter's behavior, then I wouldn't be willing to be the care provider for either child.
I don't see it as mean, but view it as a parent who is turning a blind eye to the negative behaviors her child is having and not at all addressing the fact that her child is in need of some assistance.
Take the family ties out of this situation and I am pretty confident that most providers would have said no way would they continue to care for the baby when the parent is in denial about older child's behavior and is refusing to even acknowledge or discuss alternatives and/or methods of dealing with this.
I think it may just be time for the caregiver to go back to being just grandma and not the child care provider.
If you and your DD are as close as you say, I think a good sit down discussion about this may be in order.
If your DD is not willing to work with you in controlling your granddaughter's behavior, then I wouldn't be willing to be the care provider for either child.
I don't see it as mean, but view it as a parent who is turning a blind eye to the negative behaviors her child is having and not at all addressing the fact that her child is in need of some assistance.
Take the family ties out of this situation and I am pretty confident that most providers would have said no way would they continue to care for the baby when the parent is in denial about older child's behavior and is refusing to even acknowledge or discuss alternatives and/or methods of dealing with this.
I think it may just be time for the caregiver to go back to being just grandma and not the child care provider.
If you and your DD are as close as you say, I think a good sit down discussion about this may be in order.
itlw8 11:58 AM 08-16-2013
I also keep grandkids they do know school time is different from grandma time but they are a handful
If you only stayed open for them enjoy grandma time and find a different job you enjoy. sounds like the women in your family act before thinking. So just say I am sorry I blew up but maybe you are right . I would love to just be grandma and not childcare . I love you and your children.
If you only stayed open for them enjoy grandma time and find a different job you enjoy. sounds like the women in your family act before thinking. So just say I am sorry I blew up but maybe you are right . I would love to just be grandma and not childcare . I love you and your children.
CedarCreek 11:59 AM 08-16-2013
I also agree with you asking her to find alternate care for your grandson too.
Sometimes, its just not best to mix work and family.
Sometimes, its just not best to mix work and family.
Crystal 12:12 PM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree with the fact that you asked your DD to find alternate care for your grandson.
If your DD is not willing to work with you in controlling your granddaughter's behavior, then I wouldn't be willing to be the care provider for either child.
I don't see it as mean, but view it as a parent who is turning a blind eye to the negative behaviors her child is having and not at all addressing the fact that her child is in need of some assistance.
Take the family ties out of this situation and I am pretty confident that most providers would have said no way would they continue to care for the baby when the parent is in denial about older child's behavior and is refusing to even acknowledge or discuss alternatives and/or methods of dealing with this. Yup, no doubt about it.
I think it may just be time for the caregiver to go back to being just grandma and not the child care provider.
If you and your DD are as close as you say, I think a good sit down discussion about this may be in order.
I agree with the fact that you asked your DD to find alternate care for your grandson.
If your DD is not willing to work with you in controlling your granddaughter's behavior, then I wouldn't be willing to be the care provider for either child.
I don't see it as mean, but view it as a parent who is turning a blind eye to the negative behaviors her child is having and not at all addressing the fact that her child is in need of some assistance.
Take the family ties out of this situation and I am pretty confident that most providers would have said no way would they continue to care for the baby when the parent is in denial about older child's behavior and is refusing to even acknowledge or discuss alternatives and/or methods of dealing with this. Yup, no doubt about it.
I think it may just be time for the caregiver to go back to being just grandma and not the child care provider.
If you and your DD are as close as you say, I think a good sit down discussion about this may be in order.
nannyde 12:44 PM 08-16-2013
Just take a break and run less kids for a while.
Your daughter will NOT give up near free daycare over your words. She will be back very soon with a story of how the new center or provider either abused or neglected her kids. That's the words she will need to get you back into caring for them. She may also throw in a story of how the kids cried for you or wouldn't eat, sleep, play without you. She may add that they cried when getting out of bed because they just want to go to grannies house.
SOME version of that will hit your ears here real soon. She will rope you back in and show you TONS of gratitude and give you lots of sweet words on how she didn't appreciate you like she should have.
Once she gets you locked back in it will take three days and you guys will carry on as if it never happened in the first place. Within two weeks you will be right back to how you feel today.
That's the free granny cycle. If you want out of it do NOT take the kids back. Just tell Mommy that you have confidence that she will find the perfect day care and you are very happy to know she now gets what you have done for her. It's time to be granny granny not daycare granny.
Now she may threaten to never let you see kids again if you don't do as she wishes. Just tell her that that is sad but she is mommy and she knows best.
Time to just be granny and time for a BIG time break of not caring for the kids. That means no evenings, weekends, or daycare. When the kids are with you Mommy is there to care for them.
Your daughter will NOT give up near free daycare over your words. She will be back very soon with a story of how the new center or provider either abused or neglected her kids. That's the words she will need to get you back into caring for them. She may also throw in a story of how the kids cried for you or wouldn't eat, sleep, play without you. She may add that they cried when getting out of bed because they just want to go to grannies house.
SOME version of that will hit your ears here real soon. She will rope you back in and show you TONS of gratitude and give you lots of sweet words on how she didn't appreciate you like she should have.
Once she gets you locked back in it will take three days and you guys will carry on as if it never happened in the first place. Within two weeks you will be right back to how you feel today.
That's the free granny cycle. If you want out of it do NOT take the kids back. Just tell Mommy that you have confidence that she will find the perfect day care and you are very happy to know she now gets what you have done for her. It's time to be granny granny not daycare granny.
Now she may threaten to never let you see kids again if you don't do as she wishes. Just tell her that that is sad but she is mommy and she knows best.
Time to just be granny and time for a BIG time break of not caring for the kids. That means no evenings, weekends, or daycare. When the kids are with you Mommy is there to care for them.
Unregistered 12:52 PM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree with the fact that you asked your DD to find alternate care for your grandson.
If your DD is not willing to work with you in controlling your granddaughter's behavior, then I wouldn't be willing to be the care provider for either child.
I don't see it as mean, but view it as a parent who is turning a blind eye to the negative behaviors her child is having and not at all addressing the fact that her child is in need of some assistance.
Take the family ties out of this situation and I am pretty confident that most providers would have said no way would they continue to care for the baby when the parent is in denial about older child's behavior and is refusing to even acknowledge or discuss alternatives and/or methods of dealing with this.
I think it may just be time for the caregiver to go back to being just grandma and not the child care provider.
If you and your DD are as close as you say, I think a good sit down discussion about this may be in order.
AMEN!I agree with the fact that you asked your DD to find alternate care for your grandson.
If your DD is not willing to work with you in controlling your granddaughter's behavior, then I wouldn't be willing to be the care provider for either child.
I don't see it as mean, but view it as a parent who is turning a blind eye to the negative behaviors her child is having and not at all addressing the fact that her child is in need of some assistance.
Take the family ties out of this situation and I am pretty confident that most providers would have said no way would they continue to care for the baby when the parent is in denial about older child's behavior and is refusing to even acknowledge or discuss alternatives and/or methods of dealing with this.
I think it may just be time for the caregiver to go back to being just grandma and not the child care provider.
If you and your DD are as close as you say, I think a good sit down discussion about this may be in order.
I agree with all of this. Enjoy your time with your DCK's without the grandbaby ruining things by her behavior and enjoy being a grandma to your grandbaby once in awhile but not every day anymore!
sharlan 02:16 PM 08-16-2013
I am the only provider my grandkids (5, 6, 7, 17) have ever been with. My 5 & 7 yo grandkids' other grandparents do watch them one day a week though. That just started this past year
Family dynamics or not, I would not tolerate that behavior. My grandkids have the same rules as everyone else, or they're out the door. My daughters either follow the program or they find other daycare. I may provide free daycare, but I am not a doormat to be take advantage of or disrespected in my home.
IMHO, you and your daughter need a break. If you don't have enough kids, shut down the daycare and get a "real" job. (That was a joke.)
Family dynamics or not, I would not tolerate that behavior. My grandkids have the same rules as everyone else, or they're out the door. My daughters either follow the program or they find other daycare. I may provide free daycare, but I am not a doormat to be take advantage of or disrespected in my home.
IMHO, you and your daughter need a break. If you don't have enough kids, shut down the daycare and get a "real" job. (That was a joke.)
Laurel 02:26 PM 08-16-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I need opinions here! Ive been watching my 4 year old granddaughter her whole life. I now have her 8 month old brother. My granddaughter is loud, mean and throws screaming fits if she doesnt get what she wants. Yes shes like this at home too. Well i had a bad day the other day and i sent my daughter a text telling her how i can hardly take it anymore and she needs to work with her. For instance, before mom came here to pick up, I warned my gd not to throw a fit when its time to clean up herrrr mess. Well she did as usual. Screaming crying convulsion like fits! So my daughter cleaned up her mess! I told my daughter she needs to "stop that"! Ive neverrr complained about every little detail of my gd because I know my daughter would get an attitude about it. My daughter never responded to my text and didnt even mention it at pick up. then when she got home, she sent me a text basically telling me she is putting my gd into a preschool but i can still watch the baby. Before this, she did enroll her for 2 days a week then after my text she enrolled her for 4 days. This preschool is charging her over 50$ a day. I watch my grandkids for pennies! So I told her she should seek alternate care for the baby as well. What if he does something wrong and i complain??? im not risking it. Im beside myself. I feel like its a slap in the face to pull my granddaughter out of here because I complained ONCE! I am sooo mad and sooo upset about this situation! My daughter and I are very close but my granddaughter is out of control! She is super smart! More advanced than any of my dc kids. She knows she's being bad! Shes a bully to the other kids, shes just mean How would u feel? Im so done! Ive had a hard time keeping this dc going but kept on it so my daughter wouldnt be without a sitter! Now the kids are gone..Im ready to close it all down!
I watched my granddaughter (still do during summer and school holidays) and now watch my grandson. Granddaughter was fine. Grandson is a handful but okay. My provider friend also watches her grandchildren. Hers is a different story and somewhat similar to yours.I need opinions here! Ive been watching my 4 year old granddaughter her whole life. I now have her 8 month old brother. My granddaughter is loud, mean and throws screaming fits if she doesnt get what she wants. Yes shes like this at home too. Well i had a bad day the other day and i sent my daughter a text telling her how i can hardly take it anymore and she needs to work with her. For instance, before mom came here to pick up, I warned my gd not to throw a fit when its time to clean up herrrr mess. Well she did as usual. Screaming crying convulsion like fits! So my daughter cleaned up her mess! I told my daughter she needs to "stop that"! Ive neverrr complained about every little detail of my gd because I know my daughter would get an attitude about it. My daughter never responded to my text and didnt even mention it at pick up. then when she got home, she sent me a text basically telling me she is putting my gd into a preschool but i can still watch the baby. Before this, she did enroll her for 2 days a week then after my text she enrolled her for 4 days. This preschool is charging her over 50$ a day. I watch my grandkids for pennies! So I told her she should seek alternate care for the baby as well. What if he does something wrong and i complain??? im not risking it. Im beside myself. I feel like its a slap in the face to pull my granddaughter out of here because I complained ONCE! I am sooo mad and sooo upset about this situation! My daughter and I are very close but my granddaughter is out of control! She is super smart! More advanced than any of my dc kids. She knows she's being bad! Shes a bully to the other kids, shes just mean
How would u feel? Im so done! Ive had a hard time keeping this dc going but kept on it so my daughter wouldnt be without a sitter! Now the kids are gone..Im ready to close it all down!Her granddaughters are fine but her grandson is a holy terror. It is a long story but the bottom line is she only watches him part time now. Her two provider friends (me and our other friend) feel she shouldn't watch him at all but sometimes you can't tell her anything.
If I were you I wouldn't watch the older one but would watch the younger one (if you really want to).
Is it possible she is doing you a favor by enrolling the oldest elsewhere? Maybe she realizes it isn't fair of her to expect you to watch the child who has such bad behavior?
It sounds like the two of you need to have a heart to heart talk in person.
Laurel
cheerfuldom 06:58 PM 08-16-2013
maybe I was misunderstanding the OP, I thought she refused to watch the younger as more of a vengeful act for the daughter withdrawing the older child....
Laurel 01:56 AM 08-17-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
maybe I was misunderstanding the OP, I thought she refused to watch the younger as more of a vengeful act for the daughter withdrawing the older child....
That is how it came across to me too. That is why, if I were her, I would have a heart to heart talk with my daughter. It seems as if there is an issue going on with the adults as well as the problem with the children.maybe I was misunderstanding the OP, I thought she refused to watch the younger as more of a vengeful act for the daughter withdrawing the older child....
Laurel
Blackcat31 08:43 AM 08-17-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
maybe I was misunderstanding the OP, I thought she refused to watch the younger as more of a vengeful act for the daughter withdrawing the older child....
I kind of thought that too but then she made the comment about what if she (OP) complains about him too... maybe I was misunderstanding the OP, I thought she refused to watch the younger as more of a vengeful act for the daughter withdrawing the older child....
So that made me think OP feels DD simply pulled Granddaughter as a vengeful thing... Does that make sense?
Plus, OP also commented on her DD not responding or discussing any of the situation at all.... Related or not, who does that kwim?
MAJOR communication gap here and I'd hate to see this end badly where mom and daughter no longer speak thus the grandkids being stuck in the middle.
Personally, I love Sharlan's approach.
Unregistered 12:23 PM 08-17-2013
Hi ladies! Thanks for all the responses, opinions and advice. I see some of u did misunderstand why I decided not to watch my grandson. It wasnt to be mean, low or vengeful, it was because Im now afraid to complain about him.
What if he is a monster like his sister when he gets older? and yesss...my daughter didnt even discuss my gd behavior at all. She didnt respond to my "complaint" and didnt even discuss it at pick up. I could tell by the way she was acting that she was super mad. Just like i thought she would be. Thats why Ive held off for yearssss before I finally had enuff.
I also agree with Sharlan. Thats the way it should be. No muss no fuss. They should be required to follow the rules like all the other dcp/dck. My gd wont nap, wont clean up, wont share, bullies the other kids etc. She throws huge screaming fits throwing herself around. She screams at nap, waking the other kids. At times I didnt even want to argue with her at nap so i told her to sit on the sofa and play quietly, she wont even do that. she clowns, cries, yells etc and stillll wakes up the other kids.
Sigh.
Ive accepted it is a relief for her to go eslewhere and Ill be happy to watch the younger one but Im now afraid to ever complain Im praying he wont be like his sister. I can only do so much when hes here but.....how they handle things at home is different.
To those of u who think there's issues with the adults...thats so far from true. My daughter and I are bff's and talk about everything, but like many parents, she was offended to hear her daughter was such a monster. Even tho she complains often!!!! I think it floored her to hear me say sooo much about my granddaughter because Im a quiet person who just handles it with no compaints but I can only be mary poppins for so long.
I have terminated many kids with same issues before the ink was even dry on their contract! But held on with my granddaughter as long as I could. I never would have termed her but I guess I expected my daughter to "do something" ....I never expected her to withdraw her.
She is to start preschool at the end of sept. Now Im afraid to even watch her til then. How am I gonna handle this? sigh. Im afraid to even say she did anything wrong. I dont know what to do. Ive tried time out when she throws her fits, bullies etc. She just screams and blows snot out of her nose onto my walls. If I put her upstairs in my bed,she snots all over my sheets etc.
This may be wrong but Im kinda feeling some resentment now. If gramma tells, my mom will be mad at her kinda thing. Im so lost now. She loves it here. She cries for me when shes at home. Even on weekends, she tells her parents she wants to go to meemaws house. When shes here and stays the night, she doesnt want to go home. But shes a monster the whole time. I have a 7 year old daughter. They fight 90% of the time she is here because she wants everything my daughter has in her hands etc. its just a big mess I do everything to accomodate her to make sure everything is fair. Now that ive calmed down, Im looking very forward to the end of september. haha! But Im not sure what to do about weekends etc.
Oh one more thing! Someone mentioned she will be back because preschool didnt work out etc. Ohhh I know. This has already happened! She went to preschool for a couple days a week and mom took her out because she didnt feel she was learning anything, gd cried everyday at drop off and she was always in trouble. for no reason. hmm. Imagine that.
Thanks for listening.
lost meemaw.
What if he is a monster like his sister when he gets older? and yesss...my daughter didnt even discuss my gd behavior at all. She didnt respond to my "complaint" and didnt even discuss it at pick up. I could tell by the way she was acting that she was super mad. Just like i thought she would be. Thats why Ive held off for yearssss before I finally had enuff.
I also agree with Sharlan. Thats the way it should be. No muss no fuss. They should be required to follow the rules like all the other dcp/dck. My gd wont nap, wont clean up, wont share, bullies the other kids etc. She throws huge screaming fits throwing herself around. She screams at nap, waking the other kids. At times I didnt even want to argue with her at nap so i told her to sit on the sofa and play quietly, she wont even do that. she clowns, cries, yells etc and stillll wakes up the other kids.
Sigh.
Ive accepted it is a relief for her to go eslewhere and Ill be happy to watch the younger one but Im now afraid to ever complain
Im praying he wont be like his sister. I can only do so much when hes here but.....how they handle things at home is different. To those of u who think there's issues with the adults...thats so far from true. My daughter and I are bff's and talk about everything, but like many parents, she was offended to hear her daughter was such a monster. Even tho she complains often!!!! I think it floored her to hear me say sooo much about my granddaughter because Im a quiet person who just handles it with no compaints but I can only be mary poppins for so long.
I have terminated many kids with same issues before the ink was even dry on their contract! But held on with my granddaughter as long as I could. I never would have termed her but I guess I expected my daughter to "do something" ....I never expected her to withdraw her.
She is to start preschool at the end of sept. Now Im afraid to even watch her til then. How am I gonna handle this? sigh. Im afraid to even say she did anything wrong. I dont know what to do. Ive tried time out when she throws her fits, bullies etc. She just screams and blows snot out of her nose onto my walls. If I put her upstairs in my bed,she snots all over my sheets etc.
This may be wrong but Im kinda feeling some resentment now. If gramma tells, my mom will be mad at her kinda thing. Im so lost now. She loves it here. She cries for me when shes at home. Even on weekends, she tells her parents she wants to go to meemaws house. When shes here and stays the night, she doesnt want to go home. But shes a monster the whole time. I have a 7 year old daughter. They fight 90% of the time she is here because she wants everything my daughter has in her hands etc. its just a big mess
I do everything to accomodate her to make sure everything is fair. Now that ive calmed down, Im looking very forward to the end of september. haha! But Im not sure what to do about weekends etc. Oh one more thing! Someone mentioned she will be back because preschool didnt work out etc. Ohhh I know. This has already happened! She went to preschool for a couple days a week and mom took her out because she didnt feel she was learning anything, gd cried everyday at drop off and she was always in trouble. for no reason. hmm. Imagine that.
Thanks for listening.
lost meemaw.
nannyde 01:43 PM 08-17-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Hi ladies! Thanks for all the responses, opinions and advice. I see some of u did misunderstand why I decided not to watch my grandson. It wasnt to be mean, low or vengeful, it was because Im now afraid to complain about him.
What if he is a monster like his sister when he gets older? and yesss...my daughter didnt even discuss my gd behavior at all. She didnt respond to my "complaint" and didnt ven discuss it at pick up. I could tell by the way she was acting that she was super mad. Just like i thought she would be. Thats why Ive held off for yearssss before I finally had enuff.
I also agree with Sharlan. Thats the way it should be. No muss no fuss. They should be required to follow the rules like all the other dcp/dck. My gd wont nap, wont clean up, wont share, bullies the other kids etc. She throws huge screaming fits throwing herself around. She screams at nap, waking the other kids. At times I didnt even want to argue with her at nap so i told her to sit on the sofa and play quietly, she wont even do that. she clowns, cries, yells etc and stillll wakes up the other kids.
Sigh.
Ive accepted it is a relief for her to go eslewhere and Ill be happy to watch the younger one but Im now afraid to ever complain Im praying he wont be like his sister. I can only do so much when hes here but.....how they handle things at home is different.
To those of u who think there's issues with the adults...thats so far from true. My daughter and I are bff's and talk about everything, but like many parents, she was offended to hear her daughter was such a monster. Even tho she complains often!!!! I think it floored her to hear me say sooo much about my granddaughter because Im a quiet person who just handles it with no compaints but I can only be mary poppins for so long.
I have terminated many kids with same issues before the ink was even dry on their contract! But held on with my granddaughter as long as I could. I never would have termed her but I guess I expected my daughter to "do something" ....I never expected her to withdraw her.
She is to start preschool at the end of sept. Now Im afraid to even watch her til then. How am I gonna handle this? sigh. Im afraid to even say she did anything wrong. I dont know what to do. Ive tried time out when she throws her fits, bullies etc. She just screams and blows snot out of her nose onto my walls. If I put her upstairs in my bed,she snots all over my sheets etc.
This may be wrong but Im kinda feeling some resentment now. If gramma tells, my mom will be mad at her kinda thing. Im so lost now. She loves it here. She cries for me when shes at home. Even on weekends, she tells her parents she wants to go to meemaws house. When shes here and stays the night, she doesnt want to go home. But shes a monster the whole time. I have a 7 year old daughter. They fight 90% of the time she is here because she wants everything my daughter has in her hands etc. its just a big mess I do everything to accomodate her to make sure everything is fair. Now that ive calmed down, Im looking very forward to the end of september. haha! But Im not sure what to do about weekends etc.
Oh one more thing! Someone mentioned she will be back because preschool didnt work out etc. Ohhh I know. This has already happened! She went to preschool for a couple days a week and mom took her out because she didnt feel she was learning anything, gd cried everyday at drop off and she was always in trouble. for no reason. hmm. Imagine that.
Thanks for listening.
lost meemaw.
You have let this get way out of control. Your granddaughters behavior is the living breathing expression of how out of balance the relationships are. Just look at her and you can clearly see what the end result is.Hi ladies! Thanks for all the responses, opinions and advice. I see some of u did misunderstand why I decided not to watch my grandson. It wasnt to be mean, low or vengeful, it was because Im now afraid to complain about him.
What if he is a monster like his sister when he gets older? and yesss...my daughter didnt even discuss my gd behavior at all. She didnt respond to my "complaint" and didnt ven discuss it at pick up. I could tell by the way she was acting that she was super mad. Just like i thought she would be. Thats why Ive held off for yearssss before I finally had enuff.
I also agree with Sharlan. Thats the way it should be. No muss no fuss. They should be required to follow the rules like all the other dcp/dck. My gd wont nap, wont clean up, wont share, bullies the other kids etc. She throws huge screaming fits throwing herself around. She screams at nap, waking the other kids. At times I didnt even want to argue with her at nap so i told her to sit on the sofa and play quietly, she wont even do that. she clowns, cries, yells etc and stillll wakes up the other kids.
Sigh.
Ive accepted it is a relief for her to go eslewhere and Ill be happy to watch the younger one but Im now afraid to ever complain
Im praying he wont be like his sister. I can only do so much when hes here but.....how they handle things at home is different. To those of u who think there's issues with the adults...thats so far from true. My daughter and I are bff's and talk about everything, but like many parents, she was offended to hear her daughter was such a monster. Even tho she complains often!!!! I think it floored her to hear me say sooo much about my granddaughter because Im a quiet person who just handles it with no compaints but I can only be mary poppins for so long.
I have terminated many kids with same issues before the ink was even dry on their contract! But held on with my granddaughter as long as I could. I never would have termed her but I guess I expected my daughter to "do something" ....I never expected her to withdraw her.
She is to start preschool at the end of sept. Now Im afraid to even watch her til then. How am I gonna handle this? sigh. Im afraid to even say she did anything wrong. I dont know what to do. Ive tried time out when she throws her fits, bullies etc. She just screams and blows snot out of her nose onto my walls. If I put her upstairs in my bed,she snots all over my sheets etc.
This may be wrong but Im kinda feeling some resentment now. If gramma tells, my mom will be mad at her kinda thing. Im so lost now. She loves it here. She cries for me when shes at home. Even on weekends, she tells her parents she wants to go to meemaws house. When shes here and stays the night, she doesnt want to go home. But shes a monster the whole time. I have a 7 year old daughter. They fight 90% of the time she is here because she wants everything my daughter has in her hands etc. its just a big mess
I do everything to accomodate her to make sure everything is fair. Now that ive calmed down, Im looking very forward to the end of september. haha! But Im not sure what to do about weekends etc. Oh one more thing! Someone mentioned she will be back because preschool didnt work out etc. Ohhh I know. This has already happened! She went to preschool for a couple days a week and mom took her out because she didnt feel she was learning anything, gd cried everyday at drop off and she was always in trouble. for no reason. hmm. Imagine that.
Thanks for listening.
lost meemaw.
Have you considered that your granddaughter wants to be at your house all the time because she is allowed to behave horribly there? You are thinking it is because of love and family but it may be because she has you pinned into allowing her to be horrible to you, your property, your time, and the other kids. Of course she loves it. As soon as you said no NOW there is a problem. That's not love and family. That is bad behavior.
Your daughter doesn't have the RIGHT to refuse your opinion. She's getting child care for pennies and she refuses to listen to your wishes and opinions? What? She's doing exactly what your granddaughter is doing. They are both being disrespectful and ungrateful. Why are you allowing that? It's up to YOU to insist on excellent behavior from both of them starting TODAY.
I completely agree with stopping care for the baby. Your daughter doesn't deserve to have a slot in your child care if she doesn't do her part and listen to your concerns and wishes.
You say you and your daughter are bff's. You can have a FULL mother and daughter relationship without caring for the grandkids at ANY time. You can visit them while they are in their parents care. Your daughter doesn't like your opinion and concerns... cool. She can take that behavior somewhere else and PAY for the privilege of being tod NO.
Don't take them back no matter what. Move on with your relationship as a Mom and grandma. The babysitter relationship doesn't work so stop doing it.
Laurel 02:15 PM 08-17-2013
It certainly does look like both mother and daughter are having tantrums.
Does your granddaughter act so horribly when you have her there alone or with her brother? I mean during 'grandmother' time when the daycare kiddies aren't there?
Just curious.
Laurel
Does your granddaughter act so horribly when you have her there alone or with her brother? I mean during 'grandmother' time when the daycare kiddies aren't there?
Just curious.
Laurel
missy 06:35 PM 08-17-2013
I feel for your situation, it must be terribly upsetting.
But....
As in nearly every relationship, whether it's mother-daughter, husband-wife, etc., the problem seems to be COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION! I know you said you are bff's but I think reeeeal communication about your grandkids was limited. You tried to be tough and keep it to yourself, I totally get that. But I think you kept it bottled up inside and then blew up about it. Your bad...but we ALL do it in ANY relationship. So I say just suck it up and be the stronger one and apologize for overreacting and work on actually effectively communicating to your daughter about her child. She values your opinion I am certain, you just need to bring it up maturely and rationally and not in the heat of the moment when you are likely to overreact! I would have done exactly what your daughter did if I thought my mom saw my child as a burden rather than her darling granddaughter.
Good luck to you, and I hope it all works out for the best for all of you:-)
But....
As in nearly every relationship, whether it's mother-daughter, husband-wife, etc., the problem seems to be COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION! I know you said you are bff's but I think reeeeal communication about your grandkids was limited. You tried to be tough and keep it to yourself, I totally get that. But I think you kept it bottled up inside and then blew up about it. Your bad...but we ALL do it in ANY relationship. So I say just suck it up and be the stronger one and apologize for overreacting and work on actually effectively communicating to your daughter about her child. She values your opinion I am certain, you just need to bring it up maturely and rationally and not in the heat of the moment when you are likely to overreact! I would have done exactly what your daughter did if I thought my mom saw my child as a burden rather than her darling granddaughter.
Good luck to you, and I hope it all works out for the best for all of you:-)