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Baby Beluga 05:07 PM 05-02-2018
DCM sent me a text asking why I don't allow my DD to see her DD (who is not enrolled) when she picks up her son. DCM brought her DD in to pick up her DS, and her DD asked to see my DD. I told her she was in her room. DCM's DD fussed a little bit and said she never gets to see my DD. I wished them a good night and went about my evening.

Few minutes later I get a text from DCM telling me her DD has been crying wince they left because she couldn't see my DD and DCM doesn't understand why my DD is always in her room when they come.

How do I respond to this?

DD leaves the room for a few reasons.

1) she acts out when parents are here. We all know our children do this

2) DD is 6. She is old enough to understand what I am saying to parents in regard to their chikds day and it's a privacy issue.

3) It's my BUSINESS. If I don't want my DD in the classroom at arrival and departure times, she won't be.
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boy_mom 06:01 PM 05-02-2018
I probably wouldn't even respond, you don't owe the mom an explanation and her child doesn't need on either!
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Jdy2222 06:15 PM 05-02-2018
I'd just tell her it's nothing personal, that your kiddos enjoy a little "me" time so you can give 100% of your focus to work and your daycare children and families at drop off and pick up time.

But really ... sounds like someone(s) overreacted.
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Cat Herder 06:33 PM 05-02-2018
"She is doing her homework before family dinner. "

Also, she does not work here.
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nannyde 07:05 PM 05-02-2018
"My dd has friends visiting after school who cry if she doesn't play with them and give them her undivided attention. If she came out to see your daughter they would cry. That would be so upsetting to their mothers. I'm sure you understand."
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Unregistered 08:03 PM 05-02-2018
"If you have any questions regarding DS and his care, I will be happy to answer them."
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Baby Beluga 08:10 PM 05-02-2018
Originally Posted by nannyde:
"My dd has friends visiting after school who cry if she doesn't play with them and give them her undivided attention. If she came out to see your daughter they would cry. That would be so upsetting to their mothers. I'm sure you understand."

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Play Care 03:19 AM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
"She is doing her homework before family dinner. "

Also, she does not work here.
Yep.

And this is why I started sending my own kids to preschool, camps, lessons, and even play dates, etc. during day care. Parents truly start thinking your kids/family is part of the "package" they pay for.
I had a parent be shocked that I closed on a Federal holiday when my kids were little, because even though they were off they wanted to send their DD in. They even said to me "it's not like you won't have any kids!"
Part of why I keep everything separate.
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Josiegirl 03:29 AM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I had a parent be shocked that I closed on a Federal holiday when my kids were little, because even though they were off they wanted to send their DD in. They even said to me "it's not like you won't have any kids!"
I know I would've shrugged something like that off but oh the replies I'd come up with after the fact. Just makes you wonder why some parents become parents. Honestly wonder.
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Baby Beluga 06:17 AM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Ariana:
She probably gets easily offended and is now passing that trait onto her kid. As a mom I would have listed a million reasons to my child as to why your DD was not available and told her to get over it and never in a million years would I have taken this personally! Some people think everything is about them.
Absolutely. This isn't the first time I have not allowed DD to come out when DCM's DD requested it. I would have thought mom would have gotten the hint and told her own DD not to ask or to remain in the car

Originally Posted by Play Care:
Yep.

And this is why I started sending my own kids to preschool, camps, lessons, and even play dates, etc. during day care. Parents truly start thinking your kids/family is part of the "package" they pay for.
I had a parent be shocked that I closed on a Federal holiday when my kids were little, because even though they were off they wanted to send their DD in. They even said to me "it's not like you won't have any kids!"
Part of why I keep everything separate.
I would love to be able to send her to a camp, lesson, etc during part of DC hours but can't. I don't transport my DCK's and there would be no way to get D to/from the camp, lesson, etc. So we manage here

But yes, totally, parents start to think your child(ren) are part of what they pay for. My DD lives here. This is her home. And although she loves the DCK's and enjoys spending time with them she is not a regular part of DC due to her own commitments and responsibilities.

And privacy!!! Mom is an RN so I would think (?) she would get that. A DCP is not going to look at me and ask if I can send my child to another room so they can talk to me about custody arrangements, behavior issues, payment issues, etc. So it is up to ME to ensure that she is already out the room so parents have the opportunity to discuss those issues with me. Because that is what they pay for

I can tell mom was not satisfied with my explanation. She usually uses exclamation points and smiley faces in her correspondence. This time there was none of that in her response.
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Kimskiddos 06:05 AM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
"She is doing her homework before family dinner. "

Also, she does not work here.

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Blackcat31 06:13 AM 05-03-2018
Why didn't DCM extend an invite to your DD to play with her DD on HER watch if her child is so upset?
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lovemykidstoo 04:42 PM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
DCM sent me a text asking why I don't allow my DD to see her DD (who is not enrolled) when she picks up her son. DCM brought her DD in to pick up her DS, and her DD asked to see my DD. I told her she was in her room. DCM's DD fussed a little bit and said she never gets to see my DD. I wished them a good night and went about my evening.

Few minutes later I get a text from DCM telling me her DD has been crying wince they left because she couldn't see my DD and DCM doesn't understand why my DD is always in her room when they come.

How do I respond to this?

DD leaves the room for a few reasons.

1) she acts out when parents are here. We all know our children do this

2) DD is 6. She is old enough to understand what I am saying to parents in regard to their chikds day and it's a privacy issue.

3) It's my BUSINESS. If I don't want my DD in the classroom at arrival and departure times, she won't be.
Wow alert the presses, her precious snowflake was crying? Oh my gosh. How old is her child? Why doesn't she explain to her child that your child isn't there to entertain at pickup times. This lady has some guts really. I would just say that your daughter is doing homework period. You really don't need to explain anything about your family.
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Baby Beluga 06:58 PM 05-03-2018
So... mom gave her 2 week notice tonight. Sent me a text and said "please don't take it personal and it has nothing to do with yesterday."
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lovemykidstoo 07:17 PM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
So... mom gave her 2 week notice tonight. Sent me a text and said "please don't take it personal and it has nothing to do with yesterday."
Oh my gosh!!!! How long has she been with you? What was her reason for giving you 2 weeks notice?

Maybe something was going on with her job and that's why she was so testy with you?
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redmaple 07:28 PM 05-03-2018
Start advertising tonight, and keep the next two weeks very professional business like. Things will be more peaceful soon.
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Baby Beluga 07:31 PM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Oh my gosh!!!! How long has she been with you? What was her reason for giving you 2 weeks notice?

Maybe something was going on with her job and that's why she was so testy with you?
Been with me for 10 months. DCB is 2.75 and I am his 5th provider. So, I guess I'm not totally surprised?

Although they gave zero indication of being unhappy. No complaints, questions, nothing. Yesterday, with my DD, was the first incident.

Mom sighted DCB having the opportunity to spend time with friends from karate via summer camp. DCB mentioned something about going to Mrs. X house. I didn't think much of it at the time. But now looking back, Mrs. X is a local provider with an opening.
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redmaple 07:42 PM 05-03-2018
Just out of curiosity, does Mrs. X have children of her own?
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lovemykidstoo 08:07 PM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
Been with me for 10 months. DCB is 2.75 and I am his 5th provider. So, I guess I'm not totally surprised?

Although they gave zero indication of being unhappy. No complaints, questions, nothing. Yesterday, with my DD, was the first incident.

Mom sighted DCB having the opportunity to spend time with friends from karate via summer camp. DCB mentioned something about going to Mrs. X house. I didn't think much of it at the time. But now looking back, Mrs. X is a local provider with an opening.
Oh boy. 5 providers and he's not even 3? I think I would tell her 2 weeks isn't needed, she can leave right now. Good luck Mrs. X
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Baby Beluga 08:43 PM 05-03-2018
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
Been with me for 10 months. DCB is 2.75 and I am his 5th provider. So, I guess I'm not totally surprised?

Although they gave zero indication of being unhappy. No complaints, questions, nothing. Yesterday, with my DD, was the first incident.

Mom sighted DCB having the opportunity to spend time with friends from karate via summer camp. DCB mentioned something about going to Mrs. X house. I didn't think much of it at the time. But now looking back, Mrs. X is a local provider with an opening.
Just to clarify, today was the first day DCB mentioned Mrs. X.

I don't know. I am super bummed though. I tried to do what was best business wise, and it didn't go over well. Damned if you do and don't type of situation I guess.
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Rockgirl 08:07 PM 05-03-2018
Poor little boy—he doesn’t have the opportunity to bond with a provider before he’s moved to the next one.

I wonder if dcm is changing because she’s embarrassed about her own behavior.
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alyssahenderson 10:12 PM 05-03-2018
For me you don't owe them an explanation. It's your DD and you have the right who she would talk or even play because you're the mother. Maybe she just gets offended easily.
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Tags:parent - over protective, unreasonable parental expectations
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