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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Talk To Parent About Sleep And Lack Of
WImom 06:26 AM 10-22-2013
I have a DCB (the one that I have talked about recently - 27m old) and I feel a lot of his behavior is due to lack of sleep. He gets to my house at 6:45 and wants to keep laying down. He will tell me during the day "I tired" and lay down. He throw many tantrums and generally doesn't listen. I a few days I could tell he did have enough sleep and I was able to see more 2y old behavior not that and the tired behavior mixed in. I also notice toys and his thumb go in his mouth constantly when he is really tired. He is also falling asleep while I'm making lunch so I'm trying to make lunch and keep him awake. I don't want him falling asleep at 11am and then up for the whole nap which starts at 12:30/12:45.

I would like to address this with mom. Also say something like he needs 12 hours of sleep a day.

How do I go about this? I am going to send it in letter form since she is in hurry in the morning and he has transition problems at pick up. I was also thinking of her writing down his sleep times for me on a form in his backpack for a while or just telling me. Maybe have him go to grandma's for a few hours and have her drop him off if he didn't get a good night sleep. He has a 7m old brother which may be part of the problem.
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tratliff 06:30 AM 10-22-2013
Could you print off some paper from a medical organization or pediatrician with the sleep recommendations for kids his age and politely let her know that you think his behavior is being effected. I would start out the convo with asking her how much he is actually sleeping at home. I would assume he is up by at least 6 am, maybe sooner so he should be asleep by 8 at the very latest. And, that plus a 2 hour nap would still put him on the minimum recommended sleep amount.
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coolconfidentme 06:32 AM 10-22-2013
I have a DCB I've had for a year since he was 3 mth old. He has had sleeping issue this last month, but his parents are in the middle of a custody dispute. I let him sleep as much as he wants. Very good kid too. I tell the parent when he is picked him XXXX was very tired again today..., he needs more sleep at home.
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daycarediva 07:08 AM 10-22-2013
I have a kid with a similar issue. Mine is 3 1/2. Last night he was in bed at 7, dcm said asleep at 7:30. (Picked up at 5:45, 30 minute commute home....did he even eat dinner?) and was up at 4:30 this morning. He was dropped off sleeping at 7:30 (I wake kids to do health checks, Mom got upset with me). He fell asleep during circle time and slept for 20 minutes and will nap for 3 hours.

The problem, IMO, is the early bedtime. He could sleep from 8:30-6:30 and take a 2 hour nap here.

every day, same issue. Super sleepy kid from trying to take a morning nap.


aaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddd Mom's bright solution? No nap here. (this one left me scratching my head with no response)
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Blackcat31 07:10 AM 10-22-2013
Usually any time I notice behaviors that are simply solved (earlier bed time, less TV time, etc) I will write up a newsletter and include lots of info about the subject.

If I want to mention specific behaviors, I will present the info to all parents and say something like "Lately I've noticed a couple kids who could use more sleep" or "Several kids in care...."

I try to speak as if I am talking to the whole group and about all the kids so that no one family feels singled out.

Plus it is always good to send home educational materials to parents in regards to the ages and stages their kids are at....kwim?

If it is just ONE family and ONE kid who has the problem/issue or the problem is really unique to that family, then I would probably try to have a face to face discussion with them about my concerns.
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Cat Herder 07:10 AM 10-22-2013
Originally Posted by WImom:

I would like to address this with mom. Also say something like he needs 12 hours of sleep a day.

How do I go about this?
IME, It is almost impossible to get parents to change *their* behaviors at home. I have all but given up since so many seem to become almost oppositional about issues like this in recent years.

I'd recommend doing a preschool health theme on "Healthy sleep" with several "send home" art sheets saying things like "I need my 12 hours sleep to grow big strong and smart!!" with their child's photo on it to make it stick .

You can use this "healthy goal" certificate from nourish interactive as well (they have many food/TV/exercise ones as well)...
Attached: get sleep.jpg (31.4 KB) 
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Meyou 07:10 AM 10-22-2013
I would just put him back down at 6:45 for a nap. He is acting like he needs it even if he seems too old for a second nap. I would personally consider it an extension of his night's sleep that he still needs.
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Soccermom 07:34 AM 10-22-2013
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I would just put him back down at 6:45 for a nap. He is acting like he needs it even if he seems too old for a second nap. I would personally consider it an extension of his night's sleep that he still needs.
This is exactly what I was going to say.

I have been doing daycare for over 10 years now and have learned that no matter what you say, the parents will likely not change what they are doing. He really should be in bed by 7pm but that would probably really limit the amount of time he spends with Mom and Dad at night.

I have a 2 year old DCG whom I have the same issue with. I have told DCPS numerous times that she is too tired to play but nothing has been resolved (Although they tell me they put her down at 7h30....I know they don't) DCM drops her off at 7am and I pop her right into her Pack and Play. She sleeps until about
8h30 and then I give her breakfast.
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WImom 07:38 AM 10-22-2013
They take his brother to grandma's first I think so I'm sure it's 6am too. I should have mentioned I only care for 2-5y and I'm more like an all day preschool so him sleeping when he gets here probably won't work. He is the only one for about 20 minutes and then other kids come. I also only have one room that I do care in. I am also afraid if I let him sleep when he gets here he won't sleep at nap which everyone naps here and I want to keep it that way.

Maybe I can try a newsletter with info and just send the sleep part to her but make it seem like everyone got it. I have my Nov. newsletter to send out soon anyways.
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Cat Herder 08:47 AM 10-22-2013
Originally Posted by WImom:
They take his brother to grandma's first I think so I'm sure it's 6am too. I should have mentioned I only care for 2-5y and I'm more like an all day preschool so him sleeping when he gets here probably won't work. He is the only one for about 20 minutes and then other kids come. I also only have one room that I do care in. I am also afraid if I let him sleep when he gets here he won't sleep at nap which everyone naps here and I want to keep it that way.

Maybe I can try a newsletter with info and just send the sleep part to her but make it seem like everyone got it. I have my Nov. newsletter to send out soon anyways.
You could also enforce the "able to willingly participate in all activities" card. Letting it effect the parents day, instead of your entire groups day, may just be the pivot point you need? Too tired to participate is valid, especially if it is chronic.
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Familycare71 08:52 AM 10-22-2013
I agree with pp - I would put him back to bed when he arrives.
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Soccermom 09:45 AM 10-22-2013
Originally Posted by WImom:
They take his brother to grandma's first I think so I'm sure it's 6am too. I should have mentioned I only care for 2-5y and I'm more like an all day preschool so him sleeping when he gets here probably won't work. He is the only one for about 20 minutes and then other kids come. I also only have one room that I do care in. I am also afraid if I let him sleep when he gets here he won't sleep at nap which everyone naps here and I want to keep it that way.

Maybe I can try a newsletter with info and just send the sleep part to her but make it seem like everyone got it. I have my Nov. newsletter to send out soon anyways.
Is there somewhere quiet in your home where you could put him in the mornings for a little snooze. Maybe wake him up around 8am or so.....

I open at 7am but my preschool program only starts at 8h30 so it gives the kids a good hour or so to settle in, eat breakfast and wake up a little before we start.

The little DCG I have still sleeps in the afternoons with the others. Some little ones just need more sleep than others I guess.
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WImom 10:03 AM 10-22-2013
I guess I don't know if I want to start the whole sleep when you get here thing. I've never had a problem with past kids. I think I will start with finding out when he goes to bed and wakes up. If he really is going to bed at a good time and he just needs more sleep I may be more willing to let him sleep when he gets here. BUT if he isn't going to bed until 9:00 then I'm putting it on them. I have in my handbook that kids need to be ready to start the day and able to participate.

I don't have anywhere for him to go either since I have a separate space for my daycare so nothing in my actual home is licensed. Just the daycare space (my old formal living room/dinning room).
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clep 10:09 AM 10-22-2013
I had a parent like this who didn't recognize their child's lack of sleep as an issue for the child. I finally termed after trying to work with them for three months. It was so relaxing when they left. I tried the newsletter thing first and it didn't work. Then I tried to talk with them directly and that didn't work either. The father was a child psychologist who thought he knew it all. I felt bad for the kid.
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