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Angelwings36 07:17 AM 12-18-2012
So on November 1st my last newsletter went out (I do my newsletters every 3 months) and I had my holiday dates for Christmas in it. I am closed from Thursday December 20th - Wednesday December 2nd. This morning my teacher family comes in and says he would bring payment on Friday. I looked at him with a confused look on my face and said, "well tomorrow is my last day before Christmas and payment is due tomorrow. It's in my newsletter?" He looked at me totally shocked like he had no idea! WHY DO I EVEN SEND OUT THESE NOTICES!

Now I feel guilty because I know he doesn't have childcare for his two children for Thursday and Friday and I feel even worse because I had to close for 4 unexpected days last week but there is nothing I can do. My husband just found out last night that his mother's breast cancer is back and she goes in tomorrow (Wednesday) for surgery and I volunteered to help my sister in law get everything ready out at the farm for Christmas day since my mother in law won't be able to do it anymore.

Should I feel guilty over this? Mad? I am just so mixed with emotions right now. This job just pulls at too many areas of a persons life.
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Mom&Provider 07:26 AM 12-18-2012
Sorry to hear about your mother in law. I hope her surgery goes well tomorrow and she can enjoy some special time with her family and will be otu and home soon. It sounds like you are making it work, which is great for everyone!

Don't feel badly, you let them know via your newsletter. Perhaps in future also give them a verbal reminder the week before any scheduled closures to cover all the bases, but this is not your fault.

We all deal with so much stress trying to make everyone else happy, but sometimes we need to look after us. I am learning this slowly too and in your case the time you need for you and your family is now...so take it and don't feel bad.
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My3cents 07:37 AM 12-18-2012
I would post an extra newsletter on my bulletin board- no excuse this way-

or a reminder of dates closed.

Why drive yourself nuts worrying about parents that forget. Put it in their faces and then they can't say they didn't know. The door going out is a great place for a notice, it is in your face- you can't miss it.

Don't take on parent's issues- at some point having a life has to count. For me it counts. I do this so that I can have a better life with my family. I do have to remind myself when I start to attempt to take too much on. Being a care giver this just comes natural to me, thank goodness I have you guys here and my family to put me in my place and set my feet back down to reality-


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melskids 07:41 AM 12-18-2012
What's that saying?

lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.

....or something like that....lol
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Willow 07:46 AM 12-18-2012
I wouldn't let it ruffle your feathers one bit.

Parents not paying attention is not your fault, and if they don't have alternate care lined up that is not your problem.
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Blackcat31 07:52 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
So on November 1st my last newsletter went out (I do my newsletters every 3 months) and I had my holiday dates for Christmas in it. I am closed from Thursday December 20th - Wednesday December 2nd. This morning my teacher family comes in and says he would bring payment on Friday. I looked at him with a confused look on my face and said, "well tomorrow is my last day before Christmas and payment is due tomorrow. It's in my newsletter?" He looked at me totally shocked like he had no idea! WHY DO I EVEN SEND OUT THESE NOTICES!

Now I feel guilty because I know he doesn't have childcare for his two children for Thursday and Friday and I feel even worse because I had to close for 4 unexpected days last week but there is nothing I can do. My husband just found out last night that his mother's breast cancer is back and she goes in tomorrow (Wednesday) for surgery and I volunteered to help my sister in law get everything ready out at the farm for Christmas day since my mother in law won't be able to do it anymore.

Should I feel guilty over this? Mad? I am just so mixed with emotions right now. This job just pulls at too many areas of a persons life.
Wait....YOU feel guilty that a grown man responsible for children didn't read your newsletter?

How is that even logical? Why on earth would YOU feel guilty? He is an adult is he not?

Honestly guilt on the provider's part is EXACTLY why so many providers are taken advantage of and walked on by daycare families IMHO.

NOT flaming you at all but seriously hun, you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. You did YOUR job. Don't feel badly when parents don't do theirs.

That guilt is what causes so many providers to become burnt out.

We all have our own issues/problems to deal with, don't borrow someone else's.

ENJOY your vacation time and let this family worry about their problems on their own. YOU deserve to be guilt free.....especially during vacation time!!!!!
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kitykids3 07:57 AM 12-18-2012
I always assume parents just skim my newsletters, so I have them posted in the entry way. Plus I usually send home reminder notices closer to the date, because even if they do take note, everyone forgets things and reminders are nice.

However, on your part, I wouldn't worry about them needing to find alternate care. Don't feel guilty or mad. Expect parents won't read/remember everything and maybe next time, give reminders either written or verbally.
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Angelwings36 08:08 AM 12-18-2012
OMG I am having a bad day. Same dcd just messages me and informs me that they can't make their payment tomorrow now. I had attached a form to the newsletter for families to fill out if they couldn't make their payment on Wednesday. I was willing to open for an hour on the 1st to collect payment instead but that meant I would be staying home instead of travelling. No one requested to pay on the 1st so I made arrangements to be gone now. Now he says he needs to pay on the 1st and I can't wait until the 3rd for payment?? What do I do?
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Blackcat31 08:24 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
OMG I am having a bad day. Same dcd just messages me and informs me that they can't make their payment tomorrow now. I had attached a form to the newsletter for families to fill out if they couldn't make their payment on Wednesday. I was willing to open for an hour on the 1st to collect payment instead but that meant I would be staying home instead of travelling. No one requested to pay on the 1st so I made arrangements to be gone now. Now he says he needs to pay on the 1st and I can't wait until the 3rd for payment?? What do I do?
Do they pay by check? or cash?

I would charge him a late fee (again, not YOUR problem he didn't read the info you supplied) and ask that he leave you a post dated check or deposit the money directly into your bank account. He doesn't need you account number to do that....only your name.

Please do NOT rearrange your plans due to the ignorance and disrespect of this family! I would tell him he needs to figure it out as you already made plans and if he doesn't figure out a solution he will not have daycare services any more.

IMO, he is trying to make this your problem when it isn't. He wouldn't dream of trying to negotiate with any other place he owes money to so why is he trying to do so with you?...because he assumes you WILL make exceptions for him. Sooooo not cool!

(((Hugs))) for dealing and STAY STRONG!!!!!!
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Unregistered 09:19 AM 12-18-2012
Put it in your contract that parent's are expected to read your newsletters for updates as soon as they come out. Or try posting things like this on your daycare bulliten board a month in advanced as well and tell children that they get a sticker/stamp or some type of privilage (either right away or with in the week) if they can get their parents to read the whole newsletter before they leave. the kids will bug their parents until they read it and it helps get them interested in reading. I suggest only putting a few important things on your bulliten board (probably update it everyday to get the whole thing read) so parents don't dread reading for 10 minutes.
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littlemissmuffet 09:23 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
OMG I am having a bad day. Same dcd just messages me and informs me that they can't make their payment tomorrow now. I had attached a form to the newsletter for families to fill out if they couldn't make their payment on Wednesday. I was willing to open for an hour on the 1st to collect payment instead but that meant I would be staying home instead of travelling. No one requested to pay on the 1st so I made arrangements to be gone now. Now he says he needs to pay on the 1st and I can't wait until the 3rd for payment?? What do I do?
Too bad. This parent was given notice about when fees were due, he needs to pay on time, or pay a daily late fee (which I hope is very high for you)!

I would never open on a holiday, let alone cancel travel plans just to get payment. This is his problem, not yours. Tell him to figure it out.
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MamaG 09:34 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
OMG I am having a bad day. Same dcd just messages me and informs me that they can't make their payment tomorrow now. I had attached a form to the newsletter for families to fill out if they couldn't make their payment on Wednesday. I was willing to open for an hour on the 1st to collect payment instead but that meant I would be staying home instead of travelling. No one requested to pay on the 1st so I made arrangements to be gone now. Now he says he needs to pay on the 1st and I can't wait until the 3rd for payment?? What do I do?
Charge them your late fees! It is not your job to read them the news letter. You printed it out and gave it to them. Maybe next time they'll read the what you give them.

Personally I not only put info about being closed/payments in a news letter. I also tell them to their faces when date gets closer. I already know half the time they don't read the newsletter. But I don't think I should have to. They are supposed to adults!
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lovemykidstoo 09:45 AM 12-18-2012
First of all, I'm sorry for your family troubles that you're going through right now. I pray that your MIL is okay.

I would tell him that he can post date a check. You should not have to have contact with your dcf's during your break. Also include late fee.

I sent out my holiday reminder last night. My last day is Thursday. I sent everyone an email. I flagged it so that I would get notification when they read it. This way, they can't say that they didn't get it. That's the easiest way for me to make sure they know.
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Play Care 10:26 AM 12-18-2012
Ugh, I am so sorry you are dealing with this! I agree with the pp's and I would totally charge the late fee. If they are teachers they should know better then to not read what comes home!

After having a family show up at my home while I was away for vacation, I now make sure I tell the parents things at least three ways - newsletter, huge notice on the front door, verbally and I put in in the daily note home. No, I shouldn't have to, but it saves me from those situations.
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countrymom 10:28 AM 12-18-2012
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
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countrymom 10:31 AM 12-18-2012
why are you asking them to pay you early. I have teacher kids here and they get paid on thurs every other day. Thats when they pay me. They live on a tight budget and I would never ask them to pay me early because its hard for them. I wouldn't charge them any fees.
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Play Care 10:40 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
I agree to an extent, but when you chose and in home child care, you go in knowing that there will be times the provider will be closed. I think the onus is on the parent to find a care situation that works for them. As a parent I would probably NOT go in home simply because I need care when I need care...Now, if the OP tends to be one who takes a lot of time off (and I don't know what she's been off the whole year - if it was just those 4 days and now her scheduled vacation then that's not too much) she will have to deal with any fall out from that.
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Play Care 10:44 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
why are you asking them to pay you early. I have teacher kids here and they get paid on thurs every other day. Thats when they pay me. They live on a tight budget and I would never ask them to pay me early because its hard for them. I wouldn't charge them any fees.
This made me rethink my OP. If your contract with the parents states that payday is every Friday, then I don't know if you have a legal leg to stand on by changing in in the newsletter, or charging a late fee. Something to look in to, for sure! It might prompt me to change my payday to the last day I am OPEN/child attends rather then say always on Fridays.
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MamaG 10:58 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Play Care:
This made me rethink my OP. If your contract with the parents states that payday is every Friday, then I don't know if you have a legal leg to stand on by changing in in the newsletter, or charging a late fee. Something to look in to, for sure! It might prompt me to change my payday to the last day I am OPEN/child attends rather then say always on Fridays.
See I ran into that myself. I get paid the Friday before services are given (prepaid) and because I was taking vacation and going to be closed on a Friday I choose to ask parents to just pay the following week at drop off on Monday. It kinda sucked not having my money but its not fair if you contracted a set date and then try to change it. But asking for a post dated check before you close is also a good idea.
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daycaremum 11:29 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
why are you asking them to pay you early. I have teacher kids here and they get paid on thurs every other day. Thats when they pay me. They live on a tight budget and I would never ask them to pay me early because its hard for them. I wouldn't charge them any fees.
Depends on what is in the contract of the OP. I charge weekly. My policy is that you pay on your child's last day of care for the week. If that is Wednesday, then you pay Wednesday or late fees acrue.
She also stated that she had this in the newsletter that the parent didn't read, for anyone that couldn't pay earlier, she was going to stay open that extra hour, NOBODY said they couldn't work with her, so she made plans to be away. Again, it's the dad's fault for not reading the newsletter.
I give reminders to parents, not that I should have to, but I just don't want the headache, and then if they still mess up, I can say, "That's why I gave you all those reminders"
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daycaremum 11:35 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
As the parent he should be thinking about what a dumbass he is for not reading his childcare providers newsletter! Doesn't matter that she had to unexpectedly close She had prearranged to be close those 2 days and he blew it. I think we all know that parents have to work, that's why they send their kids to childcare. But unexpected circumstances and prearranged holidays are something that goes with home childcare and Dad needs to read his newsletters. I agree about reminders. Not our job to constantly remind them, but it makes my life easier.
OP, what my school does is has a cut off part at the bottom of their newsletter that we send back to the school. It lets the school know how many parents are reading the newsletter, and it also gets put in a draw. I'm not saying you should do a draw, but might be a good idea to make the parents accountable to prove to you they've read your newsletter.
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Blackcat31 11:37 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
Depends on what is in the contract of the OP. I charge weekly. My policy is that you pay on your child's last day of care for the week. If that is Wednesday, then you pay Wednesday or late fees acrue.
My payment policy is also worded "last day of care" for the upcoming week.

I also highlight ALL pay dates on the yearly calendar I hand out with marked closed days and holidays.

My parents all either pay me through automatic bank transfers or they leave a check. I do all banking on Saturdays no matter when I received the check.
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littlemissmuffet 11:39 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
First of all, OP informed the parents that she was going to be closed on Thursday December 20th through to January 2nd on NOVEMBER 1ST! This was already scheduled into her yearly time off - the parent is in the wrong for having not read her newsletter and planning for backup care for Thursday/Friday. He had well over a month to plan.

Second of all, yes, as clients of home childcare providers parents need to understand that they DO need to drop everything and find alternate care if we close due to emergency. This woman lost her child. I would consider that an emergency. It's not like she was out shopping or getting her nails done
You think she should cancel her Thursday/Friday vacation days to make up for her closure last week? That's ridiculous.

Thirdly, your comment that you "would never ask them to pay me early because its hard for them"... good for you. But it's hard for us too when parents don't pay us on time. The OP is paid once a month on the first of each month (or earlier if the first falls on a holiday/weekend) why should she have to wait an extra 2 days when this dad had more than a month to plan to pay early?
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littlemissmuffet 11:42 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Play Care:
This made me rethink my OP. If your contract with the parents states that payday is every Friday, then I don't know if you have a legal leg to stand on by changing in in the newsletter, or charging a late fee. Something to look in to, for sure! It might prompt me to change my payday to the last day I am OPEN/child attends rather then say always on Fridays.
The OP is paid once a month. On the first of each month. If she's like me, she has it written in her contract that when the first of the month falls on a weekend, a holiday or during my vacation the parent is required to pay fees no later than the proceeding business day prior to the closure - daily late fees are applied as usual.
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Angelwings36 12:13 PM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Play Care:
This made me rethink my OP. If your contract with the parents states that payday is every Friday, then I don't know if you have a legal leg to stand on by changing in in the newsletter, or charging a late fee. Something to look in to, for sure! It might prompt me to change my payday to the last day I am OPEN/child attends rather then say always on Fridays.
It's in my contract that when I am on holidays families are to pay me on the last available day that I am open. I was going out of my way to open for one hour on the 1st of January (which was still during the time I was on holidays) to work with families who would not be able to pay me early for a small fee of $10 for my time. No one cut off the bottom of the sheet and returned it to me to make this request so I made plans and now I won't be home.
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momofboys 12:15 PM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
Sorry but parents were given info in early Nov. They should have marked their calendar, not the provider's fault, the parents are adults, correct??
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Angelwings36 12:15 PM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
Comment can be found below.
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Angelwings36 12:25 PM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I'm going to play the parent now. I would be angry if I had to find child care for thur. and friday. Not only did you close for 4 days for personal days but then you want to close for the next 2 days. People just can't drop everything and their jobs because you close. You have to sometimes have to realize that parents do have to go to work. And also, did you remind them last week too. When I have weird closing days then I post a note to the door too as a reminder. I know your going to say that they need back up, but you can only have so many people watch the kids, I know I've been there.
I realized that these people have to go to work but I didn't plan to have a miscarriage and have to close for the 4 days last week. No I did not send out reminders last week because I was in the midst of having a miscarriage and was taking care of myself during that time. As per contract I only have to give a month's notice for my holiday days, I gave 5 months notice, which I thought was really nice of me. It's unfortunate that this family didn't read the newsletter and write the holiday days down like everyone else did. I feel that I did the best I could. In the past I have never reminded families other than in my newsletter and no one has showed up on my days off. I have been operating for 6.5 years so I assumed that the notice in my newsletter was enough. Lesson learned.
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daycare 02:33 PM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Do they pay by check? or cash?

I would charge him a late fee (again, not YOUR problem he didn't read the info you supplied) and ask that he leave you a post dated check or deposit the money directly into your bank account. He doesn't need you account number to do that....only your name.

Please do NOT rearrange your plans due to the ignorance and disrespect of this family! I would tell him he needs to figure it out as you already made plans and if he doesn't figure out a solution he will not have daycare services any more.

IMO, he is trying to make this your problem when it isn't. He wouldn't dream of trying to negotiate with any other place he owes money to so why is he trying to do so with you?...because he assumes you WILL make exceptions for him. Sooooo not cool!

(((Hugs))) for dealing and STAY STRONG!!!!!!
this right here...... In the past I have let to many families guilt me with their problems. NOT any MORE....

I have the same exact issues with my parents not reading any of the stuff that is sent out. It makes me extremely angry that they don't, then come at me with a million questions. I always say, all of that information is in the monthly news letter and weekly (yes weekly) reminder, please go back and read it..... I refuse to answer questions twice.....

the only way that you will get them to start reading the information sent out is to hold them accountable for it. He failed to read the the news letter and missed out on some very vital information. This is not your fault in anyway.....Hold them accountable for not doing so and enforce the rules.

This is exactly why I only do email communication, when I used to write letters, I never knew if people actually got them or not. I am sure the papers would either stay in the car and end up as trash or get mixed up with the kids papers and again end up as trash. Emailing it to the parents there is not a single excuse.
I am very routine about when I send my newsletters out, so I tell parents if you don't get it by the 3rd of the month, you need to contact me......

BUT even emailing them out, parents still don't read it..................I really don't think that there is anything that we can do other than just hold them accountable for not reading the information.
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clep 05:53 PM 12-18-2012
I put the info in my newsletter and if parents do not choose to read it so be it. I do not send reminders, post it in different places. My job is to care for their children, not them. When not reading the newsletter puts them out enough times they will start reading it. Mine did.

I wouldn't feel one bit guilty and wouldn't give it a second thought. That is the parents job.
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Meeko 07:12 PM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by melskids:
What's that saying?

lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.

....or something like that....lol
EXACTLY!
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MN Mom 08:33 PM 12-18-2012
I made 2 calendars. One for the month of November, and one for December. I marked all the days I was closed in bright red letters, and then used masking tape and taped them at eye level on my storm door so parents saw it staring them in the face at pick up and drop off. They've both been up since November 1st. Works well!
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Play Care 03:19 AM 12-19-2012
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
It's in my contract that when I am on holidays families are to pay me on the last available day that I am open. I was going out of my way to open for one hour on the 1st of January (which was still during the time I was on holidays) to work with families who would not be able to pay me early for a small fee of $10 for my time. No one cut off the bottom of the sheet and returned it to me to make this request so I made plans and now I won't be home.
Gotcha!
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LittleD 04:58 AM 12-19-2012
Posted dated check would be the way to go. With the $10 fee.

Its in your contract they have to pay early, enforce it to the best of your ability. It still means a trip to the bank but they must have a bank you can cash it where you're going?
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