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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Have You Ever Had To Report A Parent To CPS?
reg user logged out 07:24 AM 09-09-2011
I have a little one here that is always got bruises on him parents claim it is from fits (he does throw himself) or being a clumsy 2 year old. However today's bruise is different. It is on the inside of his leg on the upper thigh. Honestly it looks like a squeeze bruise. I can't imagine a fall or fit that cause a bruise on such a meaty area that normally wouldn't connect with the ground or objects in a fall. It is about 4 inches long and about half an inch think.

I don't want to push mom away if this is something innocent but I also don't want to turn a blind eye if a kid needs help. I also don't want mom to think it happened here and if I ask her what happened and it doesn't sound plausible and I have to call CPS how do I handle it if she claims she thinks it happened here?

Anyone been through this before? How did it play out? Was it really abuse? Did the parent find out it was you who called? Did they accuse you of causing the marks?


I know it takes a while to have this posted but I need to decide what to do pretty quickly. I would have posted signed in but you never know who reads these.
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Zoe 07:28 AM 09-09-2011
This actually happened to me last week. DCG had a bruise under her eye and when I asked her what happened she said, "mommy did it." Well she's 2 so it wasn't clear and I didn't have any other reason to suspect abuse. So what I did was talk to the lady who does abuse reporting and told her I was hesitant to write up a report. We talked through it and she determined it probably wasn't an abuse issue but she took down the child and mother's info to see if there was any background info that would raise red flags. It was a verbal report in case anything else were to happen.

I later found out the bruise was actually a large mosquito bite and "mommy fixed it".

I would call your licensor or the person in the office that handles these things and just talk about it. It's better to do that then nothing and find out it was actually abuse.
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sharlan 07:37 AM 09-09-2011
I have been very fortunate that I've never had to make that call. I've heard some strange stories over the years, but generally after talking to the parents, I've realized it was nothing to be alarmed about.

We're mandated reporters, so I would call if I suspected abuse. BUT, having had a foster child, I've seen the damage that CPS can do.
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Crystal 07:47 AM 09-09-2011
I don't think it is neccessarily anything to be concerned about. I know when my son was two he ALWAYS had lots of bruises....he was an adventurous child and would knock into things and fall down. I would have been devastated to be accused of abuse over typical childhood mishaps. I also have DCK now who get lots of bruises HERE. Other than falling, etc. they frequently bruise their legs/shins/thighs on our rock climber. SO....

for now I would document, take a photo of the bruise in question and file it. I would check daily for bruising/marks that appear unusual and then decide if I need to make that call.
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blessedmess8 07:52 AM 09-09-2011
Yes, I have had to call. And you do, too! If you have any suspicion, it is your duty! It is NOT your duty, however, to determine if it is abuse or not. That is up to CPS. I've had parents find out. They generally get angry and pull the child. That's not what you want to hear, I know, but it is still doing what is best for the child. CPS may come look at it, interview the child, look at your documentation, and it may stop there. Did you ask mom what happened?
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Unregistered 07:52 AM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I don't think it is neccessarily anything to be concerned about. I know when my son was two he ALWAYS had lots of bruises....he was an adventurous child and would knock into things and fall down. I would have been devastated to be accused of abuse over typical childhood mishaps. I also have DCK now who get lots of bruises HERE. Other than falling, etc. they frequently bruise their legs/shins/thighs on our rock climber. SO....

for now I would document, take a photo of the bruise in question and file it. I would check daily for bruising/marks that appear unusual and then decide if I need to make that call.
Could you get in trouble for documenting it and not reporting if say a dr reports and you didn't. Most of his bruises are like normal active kid marks but upper inner thigh? I am trying to picture an injury that causes that. This part of our job sucks!
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daycare 08:03 AM 09-09-2011
When children are being abused most of the time there will be other signs...
loss of sleep, unusual behavior. loss of appetite, etc.

If brusing is the only thing that you see and everything else seems normal, I would chalk it up to life.....kids do strange things and end up with bruising in the strangest places..

If I were you I would document it, along with any other signs that you see...

So sorry you are in this situation...
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Crystal 08:04 AM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Could you get in trouble for documenting it and not reporting if say a dr reports and you didn't. Most of his bruises are like normal active kid marks but upper inner thigh? I am trying to picture an injury that causes that. This part of our job sucks!
I would think not. If you document your first suspicious bruise and then there are a lot of additional incidences you document and donb't report THEN it might become an issue. You could call your licensor and ask though. Or, call CPS and without reporting the family, let them know what you have seen and ask them if you should file a report.

That type of bruising COULD occur from falling off of a chair and landing on a toy or something. I'd just tread very lightly here and be vigilant about checking daily...CPS can destroy an innocent family.
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JenNJ 08:06 AM 09-09-2011
For a bruise in the area you are talking about, I would suspect abuse as well. But I dont know this child's situation.

Is the child still in a crib? Is it possible the child's leg was stuck in the slats of the crib? Or a highchair possibly? Does the child ride a tricycle? Could he have slipped or fallen of the bike and bruised that way?

Only you can ask the mom and deem if her answer is plausible. If not, you need to call.
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familyschoolcare 08:40 AM 09-09-2011
If it where me I would report and let the people that determine if it is abuse do their job. It sounds like this bruise gives you a bad feeling I would not be able to live with my self if i did not report. If it is nothing and you report it their is not any harm. However, if it is something and you do not report it then .....
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mac60 10:13 AM 09-09-2011
If I was a parent, and my child got a bruise or bump and I was reported to CPS, you better bet I would be finding a new provider. I think in these situations where the issue is very questionable, that people should not jump to conclusions and assume the parent is abusive. I am all for reporting if in fact there is proof and you know for sure, but it appears you already asked the mom and she gave you an answer.
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Ariana 10:24 AM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by blessedmess8:
Yes, I have had to call. And you do, too! If you have any suspicion, it is your duty! It is NOT your duty, however, to determine if it is abuse or not. That is up to CPS. I've had parents find out. They generally get angry and pull the child. That's not what you want to hear, I know, but it is still doing what is best for the child. CPS may come look at it, interview the child, look at your documentation, and it may stop there. Did you ask mom what happened?
This! I can't believe people are telling you to let it go. Professionally you are obligated to report suspicion of abuse.
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wdmmom 10:34 AM 09-09-2011
If there are new markings daily and you aren't seeing these "fits" while the child is in your care, I would make the call.

I would also take photographs that are time and date stamped for evidence in the event DCM accuses you. Make sure you take photos right when the child is dropped off and another before he/she goes home.

Ultimately it's up to the state to take the report and determine if it warrants an investigation.
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daycare 10:39 AM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
If there are new markings daily and you aren't seeing these "fits" while the child is in your care, I would make the call.

I would also take photographs that are time and date stamped for evidence in the event DCM accuses you. Make sure you take photos right when the child is dropped off and another before he/she goes home.

Ultimately it's up to the state to take the report and determine if it warrants an investigation.
Even though I did say that I don't think that I would report it unless there were other signs, I agree with this. If you are seeing new marking daily then I would do exactly this and follow it up with CPS... I am not there and could not really give you advice as I can't see this situation first hand, but also like another poster said if you suspect something then you need to report it....
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blessedmess8 11:14 AM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
If I was a parent, and my child got a bruise or bump and I was reported to CPS, you better bet I would be finding a new provider. I think in these situations where the issue is very questionable, that people should not jump to conclusions and assume the parent is abusive. I am all for reporting if in fact there is proof and you know for sure, but it appears you already asked the mom and she gave you an answer.
In my state all child care professionals and teachers are mandated reporters and it is taken seriously. In my case, if something happened and it cme out that I hadn't reported my own suspicions, that would mean big trouble for me. You can NEVER look at a family from the outside and tell if they are abusive or not. It happens in all different kinds of families and socioeconomic brackets.
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mismatchedsocks 11:23 AM 09-09-2011
What if it happened while being strapped in car seat? What did mom say happened? What other signs, other then the bruises, is there that there is abuse? Or just thinking becuase of weird placement of this last bruise?

Bruises happen. Some kids are more prone to bruises then others. I would document it, take a picture, and you should have already asked mom and written in medical log.
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countrymom 11:56 AM 09-09-2011
are there other signs, like poor eating, complaining the bruises hurt, afraid of parents... because my dd is 7 and had a big bruise inside her thigh, how she got it we don't know, she has had bruises on her butt too, not from spanking but from rough play, even the swing hitting her butt will leave a mark.

For all you people who said to call, I'm going to tell you that it sucks when someone calls on you because "you are mandatory to report everything" you guys have no idea what you are talking about unless you have been called on, I know because last year a bus driver called on us. Last year the second week of school, my 2 younger kids (7 and 9) were hitting each other outside, so when the bus pulled up I told the kids that if they behave this way on the bus the bus driver was going to spank their butts and laughed about it. Thats all I said, well guess who showed up at my door the following week, cas. They talked to all the kids, asked a million questions, had to call the school, call the drs office because its on the forms that they have to fill, this went on for months. She even said that it was wrong for her too call because I didn't threaten the children, there was nothing wrong with the kids or anything. She said that unless you have alot of proof and really see that something is wrong, then call but for what she called in for was wrong. I knew it was her, she even said that all these daycare kids where witnesses (only my kids where outside) so after 6 months she closed the file, but it was very humilating, I couldn't even go to the parent council meeting because they had to talk to the principal, how embarressing.

so before all you people start harping and saying that you have to call, you better have some frickin good proof that the children are abused before you turn someones world upside down!!
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countrymom 11:59 AM 09-09-2011
I should add, that after that she drove the bus for 2 more months but I refused to talk to her, wave to her even acknowledge her because she could have cost me my daycare, she ended up quitting.
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AmandasFCC 12:02 PM 09-09-2011
I agree with Crystal. This is not something I personally would report if there were no other questionable signs. My daughter and I BOTH are covered in bruises, we don't beat each other up I'm just clumsy and walk into tables a lot, and my daughter climbs things ALL the time. When she was younger (under 2) she always had bruises on the meaty part of her thighs simply from climbing.

Like others have said, you're the only one here who knows this child and the parents, but if there were no other signs of abuse, I would chalk it up to kids being kids.
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Blackcat31 12:16 PM 09-09-2011
The rules in my state say, "A mandated reporter must report physical abuse, sexual abuse or neglect to a child when the reporter (knows of an incident) or has reason to believe (suspects) that a child has been abused or neglected within the preceding three years."

I take this to mean that if YOU suspect anything fishy or out of character in regards to this child and the incident that cause the bruising then you must report it.
ONLY you can decipher what you think.

I would think you would have to know the whole child and family in order to make that decision. I don't think any of us on this forum can tell you what you should or shouldn't do.

If you suspect abuse based on any knowledge (past or present) then call.

If you do not suspect anything and feel the mom gave a reasonable explanation that makes sense in regards to their normal behavior, then document and don't call.

The question isn't whether to call or not; it is what do you believe? If you believe it is abuse, you are obligated to call.
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Crystal 12:53 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
This! I can't believe people are telling you to let it go. Professionally you are obligated to report suspicion of abuse.
Nobody is telling her to let it go. I, for instance, recommended photographing and documenting it and being vigilant about checking daily for other signs of abuse. That isn't letting it go. It is gathering the facts to back you up. THEN if there seems to be indicators of abuse, you report.

ONE suspicious bruise is NOT a reason to involve CPS. If there are other indicators, then yes, the bruise would be suspicious, but if there aren't, then it is probably simply a bruise.
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Crystal 12:54 PM 09-09-2011
OP.....does the bruise look like finger tips caused it, or is it a solid 4 inch bruise?
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sharlan 01:03 PM 09-09-2011
This is such a difficult issue. You're d&&&ed if you make the call, you're d&&&ed if you don't.

I personally had a friend who lost her 3 yo for over 6 mos because her provider called CPS with a false accusation. This was during the McMartin era when kids were being pulled from home without proper investigations. The trauma this child endured from the hands of CPS was unreal.

I had a foster daughter that the new social worker was going to return her to her mother without having ever met either one. He backed down after I went to her former social worker with crack vials I found in my front yard after the mother left. His reasoning, he couldn't prove the crack vials belonged to the mother, they could have been mine.
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sharlan 01:05 PM 09-09-2011
Also, there could be a medical reason for the bruising.

We took my daughter to the dr with a large number of documented bruises. She has a factor 9 bleeding disorder, small bumps cause large bruises..
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daycare 01:13 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Also, there could be a medical reason for the bruising.

We took my daughter to the dr with a large number of documented bruises. She has a factor 9 bleeding disorder, small bumps cause large bruises..
I had two daycare kids with this..... looks like someone beat them. mom was very upfront about it and told me right away and said if necessary she would get a doctors note...
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e.j. 02:18 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by lilrugrats:
What if it happened while being strapped in car seat?
This happened to one of my 2 year old dc kids just this past month. She was trying to buckle herself into the carseat and she pinched the skin of her inner thigh. I'd mention it to the mother at pick up and ask what happened. If her explanation makes sense, I'd make a note in her file but not report her at this point.
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familyschoolcare 04:31 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by lilrugrats:
What if it happened while being strapped in car seat? What did mom say happened? What other signs, other then the bruises, is there that there is abuse? Or just thinking becuase of weird placement of this last bruise?

Bruises happen. Some kids are more prone to bruises then others. I would document it, take a picture, and you should have already asked mom and written in medical log.
If the bruise was received by the car seat then it will line up and CPS will discover that quickly if it is a common as you imply then they will be used to here that for times when it did and did not happen that way. Again if it makes you even think that there might be abuse you must report and in my state.
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familyschoolcare 04:36 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
If I was a parent, and my child got a bruise or bump and I was reported to CPS, you better bet I would be finding a new provider. I think in these situations where the issue is very questionable, that people should not jump to conclusions and assume the parent is abusive. I am all for reporting if in fact there is proof and you know for sure, but it appears you already asked the mom and she gave you an answer.
The way the law is worded in my state I must jump to conclusions I am not supposed to ask the child anything past how did you get that "mark" and I am not supposed to ask the parent anything past what happened. I am not supposed to ask follow up questions and the punishment on my end for not reporting is a huge fine and possible jail time. Not worth it to not hurt your feelings. My contracts states that I am a mandated reporter and that I can not be held responsible for anything that happen when I call CPS and tell the truth. If A parent pulls out because I called CPS and told the truth then they are still responsible for two weeks notice.
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daycare 04:50 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
The way the law is worded in my state I must jump to conclusions I am not supposed to ask the child anything past how did you get that "mark" and I am not supposed to ask the parent anything past what happened. I am not supposed to ask follow up questions and the punishment on my end for not reporting is a huge fine and possible jail time. Not worth it to not hurt your feelings. My contracts states that I am a mandated reporter and that I can not be held responsible for anything that happen when I call CPS and tell the truth. If A parent pulls out because I called CPS and told the truth then they are still responsible for two weeks notice.
I am in california and several years ago I worked in a domestic violence shelter for women and children. I have attend over 500 hours of DV and CA classes. I have also recently attend a child abuse class through my county.

This is straight out of my handbook that I was given:

Physical Abuse
• Unexplained or repeated injuries such as welts, bruises, or burns.
• Injuries that are in the shape of an object (belt buckle, electric cord, etc.)
• Injuries not likely to happen given the age or ability of the child. For example, broken bones in a child too young to walk or climb.
Disagreement between the child's and the parent's explanation of the injury.

We do have to ask the parents what happend and give them the chance to explain. CPS would have millions of phone calls a day if we were to just report everything without explanation of injury.

• Unreasonable explanation of the injury.
• Obvious neglect of the child (dirty, undernourished, inappropriate clothes for the weather, lack of medical or dental care).
• Fearful behavior.
Emotional - Verbal Abuse
• Aggressive or withdrawn behavior.
• Shying away from physical contact with parents or adults.
• Afraid to go home.
Sexual Abuse
• Child tells you he/she was sexually mistreated.
• Child has physical signs such as:
o difficulty in walking or sitting.
o stained or bloody underwear.
o genital or rectal pain, itching, swelling, redness, or discharge

(sexual abuse contd)
o bruises or other injuries in the genital or rectal area.
• Child has behavioral and emotional signs such as:
o difficulty eating or sleeping.
o soiling or wetting pants or bed after being potty trained.
o acting like a much younger child.
o excessive crying or sadness.
o withdrawing from activities and others.
o talking about or acting out sexual acts beyond normal sex play for age.
Abuse can happen in any family, regardless of any special characteristics. However, in dealing with parents, be aware of characteristics of families in which abuse may be more likely:
• Families who are isolated and have no friends, relatives, church or other support systems.
• Parents who tell you they were abused as children.
• Families who are often in crisis (have money problems, move often).
• Parents who abuse drugs or alcohol.
• Parents who are very critical of their child.
• Parents who are very rigid in disciplining their child.
• Parents who show too much or too little concern for their child.
• Parents who feel they have a difficult child.
• Parents who are under a lot of stress.

Steps that the provider will take if abuse is suspected:
• Take the child to a quiet, private area.
• Gently encourage the child to give you enough information to evaluate whether abuse may have occurred.
• Remain calm so as not to upset the child.
• If the child reveals the abuse, reassure him/her that you believe him/her, that he/she is right to tell you, and that he/she is not bad.
• Tell the child you are going to talk to persons who can help him/her.
• Return the child to the group (if appropriate).
• Record all information.
• Immediately report the suspected abuse to the proper local authorities.
• Parent will not be informed.
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Crazy8 08:00 PM 09-09-2011
do you honestly suspect abuse - like before this mark on the childs inner thigh - did you suspect there may be abuse in their household??? I understand being a mandated reporter but I would not base a decision to call on one bruise because you feel is in a stranger than "normal" location. I have seen children fall off chairs, fall between the toilet and sink in a bathroom - all places where that inner thigh bruise could happen. Straps from a highchair or carseat while they were wearing shorts/diaper could do it. Like someone else said, I've seen bruises on the butts - guess how they got it - from plopping down onto a toy that was on the floor - that diaper doesn't always protect their little bottom.

I would not call JUST based on a bruise that you think is a stranger than normal location - yes, I'm a mandated reporter but a bruise on a toddler does not make me suspect child abuse - it makes me suspect an active toddler. You know the history of what else you've seen with this family and see this child every day - no one else on this board does so this is a decision only you can make.
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Hunni Bee 08:10 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
If I was a parent, and my child got a bruise or bump and I was reported to CPS, you better bet I would be finding a new provider. I think in these situations where the issue is very questionable, that people should not jump to conclusions and assume the parent is abusive. I am all for reporting if in fact there is proof and you know for sure, but it appears you already asked the mom and she gave you an answer.
The thing about being a mandated reported is that you aren't supposed to wait until you think you have "proof" or you know for sure. You may never know for sure. Meanwhile, the child may be enduring abuse and could be receiving help. CPS doesn't require you to have proof. But it is required that you report if you have suspicions.

Yes, you should be judicious about what you report, a bump or bruise on a bony, protruding part of the body is probably not a reason to report. But on a soft, protected area like the inside of a thigh, is something to document, and make a report on if it continues.

I had a little girl a couple years ago who I am 95% sure was being abused. We had make two different reports on the family, once because the child couldnt walk because of a sore on the sole of her foot, which the mom said was a cut from the stairs. On further inspection, was obviously a cigarette burn. The second because she came in one morning with a seriously bruised eye, which the mom claimed happened from her falling off a swing at the park. Had she fallen off of a swing and hit the ground- her forehead, nose, cheek and brow area would have taken the hit, not the soft tissue of her eye. That's why we have brows - to protect our eyes. The injury came from force being applied directly to her eye...from being hit in it. We immediately suspected that the mom lied, and when we asked dcg, she said "my mommy did it" and then clapped her hand over mouth.

The mom had an excuse for every injury the child had...and believe me, there were countless smaller, unreportable ones. She fell, her brother scratched her, she touched the hot stove....on and on. We took the dcm's version at first, but then it became a pattern. Plus her version did not match the careful, cautious personality of dcg nor did her younger brother have even a fourth of injuries she had. Plus the child told us her mother was hurting her .

To OP, I would not report this time, but I would absolutely document every bruise he gets, what the mom says happened, and take pictures. If you see a pattern of incongruities between the type of injury and what mom says happened, then make your report.
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SilverSabre25 05:52 AM 09-10-2011
Obviously if you truly suspect abuse you need to report it. However, a logical explanation for a squeeze bruise on the inner thigh might be parent holding the leg to get a diaper changed when the child was fighting for some reason. Some kids bruise easily; some parents might accidentally squeeze too hard. I can easily see someone holding up there, if the child was fighting the change for some reason.
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Tags:abuse, cps, mandated reporter, reporting - suspected abuse
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