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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Toddler Being Dropped off in Soaking Diaper and PJ Every Morning
jenny31052 10:16 AM 09-15-2011
I have this child that every morning gets dropped off still in his PJ, and most of the time in a soaked, leaking diaper - he arrives at 6am; I wouldn't mind if it is once in a while, but now has become an habit - Mom works and lives 5 minutes from my house, and she always gets here on the very last minute, which makes me thing that she takes her time at home, then grab her son, the way he is, and drives over here. Last week I had to ask her to NOT drop off the kid on my couch if he is wet, since a few days prior he left a huge pee stain on our two weeks old love seat - I ALWAYS send home kids in a fresh diaper, and clean clothes... and I would appreciate the same from the parents - I don't know what to do, should I tell her to bring him already dressed for the day, or just leave it alone? The other kids that arrives just after him, are always cleaned, changed and ready to start the day...
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Blackcat31 10:18 AM 09-15-2011
Yes, I would tell the mom that the child needs to come dressed and ready for the day. There really is no reason for the soaking wet diaper unless they live like 4 hours away.
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laundrymom 10:23 AM 09-15-2011
I contract that item here. I would however bring it up to whoever drops off, hey I noticed that riahnnon is still in her overnight diaper and jams each morning, I can add that service into our contract if you want, I don't typically offer it because most parents do those things before dropping off. I see that you are really busy in the mornings though so if you are interested it will be an additional $10.00 per day to get her dressed, changed and hair brushed for the day. Would you like to include this service to our contract?
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nannyde 10:39 AM 09-15-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I contract that item here. I would however bring it up to whoever drops off, hey I noticed that riahnnon is still in her overnight diaper and jams each morning, I can add that service into our contract if you want, I don't typically offer it because most parents do those things before dropping off. I see that you are really busy in the mornings though so if you are interested it will be an additional $10.00 per day to get her dressed, changed and hair brushed for the day. Would you like to include this service to our contract?
See above.

Perfect solution. Once you attach a fee then you will know if she needs it or not.

It's important to be specific because she will start doing PART of it.. like change her diaper but quickly it will be "she wouldn't let me do it"... "she was dry when we left"... "she pooped on the way over"... "I changed her but she spilled X on it so this was the only outfit I had that wasn't in the laundry"...

If she can say words to you that cover the behavior and is free then she will try that and it will come in portions of what you are asking.

Be clear that it's one way or the other... she comes COMPLETELY ready for child care for no additional cost or you she can toss her in the car and bring her in the way she has for ten dollars a day.
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wdmmom 10:47 AM 09-15-2011
Tell DCM that baby needs to be ready for the day at drop off.

If you aren't comfortable adding a fee to it, just turn her away at the door tomorrow when she arrives in pj's and a soaked diaper.

Either answer will have the same end result.
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skittles 10:59 AM 09-15-2011
I had a mom try to pull this one on me before as well. Luckly I had it in my contract that the child has to be fully dressed and a clean diaper upon arrival. The first morning I let it go because I figured the mom had to rush but I did comment that they were prob in a hurry that morning. When it happened again the next morning, I put a stop to it by pointing it out in my contract. It never has happened again. I could see a newborn arriving in clean jammies but not a two year old!!!
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caligirl 11:09 AM 09-15-2011
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that used to happen to me EVERY SINGLE morning with one of my DC kids!!! Soaking wet diaper, PJ's and a filthy dirty face from his breakfast he was eating on the way to my house....which was either sticky waffles or chocolate doughnuts (yes, eating on the way here in the car..........don't ask my what the car looked like.....i went out one day to look and it wasn't pretty).........After asking nicely in a 'round about way several times over weeks...... I finally had to get a stern. It was back when I was taking my youngest to school.....this DC boy would get dropped off right when I was loading the kids.....so I told the father that I realize he doesn't care if his car is messy, but I do. I had just purchased a brand new Yukon and I told him that I did not want sticky fingers or wet diapers in my new vehicle, and that I did not have time to change him or wash him before loading him so PLEASE feed him BEFORE he leaving the house and PLEASE change his diaper. To have him ready for the day. Get up 10 minutes early or something.......well, I had to remind him only twice after that and I made sure he knew I was NOT happy about it............ oh, and this boy, would wear the same clothes day after day..he'd sleep in them at night.....and their 'bath' was a dunk in the community pool at their complex.......
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jenny31052 11:37 AM 09-15-2011
Thanks ladies

I'm going to tell her today, and I've already made a note to give out to the parents as a reminder -
this kids is also sometimes wearing the same clothes from the day before - and I don't think he gets a bath everyday either - I can tell by the greasiness of his long, curly, uncomber hair
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cheerfuldom 11:50 AM 09-15-2011
That's just so sad. what kind of parent does not care enough to give their kid a bath, diaper change and clean set of clothing?!?! I just don't understand that at all. At this point, they aren't even doing the basics for this child. why do we have to be put in the position to police parents? Is it not common sense that kids needs baths??
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Meeko 11:54 AM 09-15-2011
Oh wow! It must be contagious!

I have it in my contract that kids must come in a clean diaper.

Mother of 6 (yes THAT one) drops kids off at 6:45 this morning. They run into the playroom, get their blankets and lie down until 7:15. When they get up, I notice clumps of diaper and THOUSANDS of those gel beads that are inside the diapers all over the floor. It's the three year old. I can't be sure...but I think it's the diaper I sent him home in as it literally was falling apart as he walked. Older kids tell me "mom was busy" this morning and didn't have time to change him.

Sooooooo, my darling hubby comes over and steam cleans the carpet for me this morning. The kids can't play in there now until it's dry.

I will be talking to the mom tonight.

I am going to tell her that if it happens again, I will report it as neglect. I would not have DREAMED of taking my kids to someone else's home with a filthy diaper and I am really offended (although not surprised) that she thought it was OK to do it to me.

I don't care if she has 6 kids. NOBODY is so busy that they CANT change the kid. He should already be potty trained...but that's another story too......
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blessedmess8 12:48 PM 09-15-2011
I could see asking for the diaper to be changed, maybe. I guess I'm too easy? I don't mind at all to dress them. I have fixed one of my girls' hair for the 2 years I've had her b/c Dad brought her really early and she'd come in and sleep. I feel like its part of the luxury of a child care home. They can come in PJs and go back to sleep! Heck, my own daughter likes to wear pajamas all day some days. I'm cool with it! Lol! I used to be a mom who worked out of the home and mornings sucked!! So, I'm more than happy to take up some slack for my parents. Buuuut, if you aren't comfortable with it, then saying something is a good move b/c otherwise you'll just end up resentful and that's never good!
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nannyde 12:56 PM 09-15-2011
Originally Posted by blessedmess8:
I could see asking for the diaper to be changed, maybe. I guess I'm too easy? I don't mind at all to dress them. I have fixed one of my girls' hair for the 2 years I've had her b/c Dad brought her really early and she'd come in and sleep. I feel like its part of the luxury of a child care home. They can come in PJs and go back to sleep! Heck, my own daughter likes to wear pajamas all day some days. I'm cool with it! Lol! I used to be a mom who worked out of the home and mornings sucked!! So, I'm more than happy to take up some slack for my parents. Buuuut, if you aren't comfortable with it, then saying something is a good move b/c otherwise you'll just end up resentful and that's never good!
I look at it the opposite of you. People who work early hours have the same 24 hours a day that everyone else has.

I WANT the kid to spend time with the parent in the morning. I don't have ANY problem putting them back to bed when they arrive whether they have been up at home in the morning or not.

I want them to be dressed by their Mommy and Daddy and have their hair done, clothes changed, teeth brushed. I think it's SO important that each kid have TIME with their parents before child care. It doesn't matter what shift they are on or their hours. Kids don't care about that or even get that. Whether it's five a.m. or nine a.m. ... same to the kid.
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Springdaze 12:59 PM 09-15-2011
If you are going to change the diaper, why cant you just change the clothes too! (the parent I mean) I am ashamed and almost mortified when a parent picks up their child and they are wet or the other, I want the same for when they drop off. I cant stand it when they say oh, they wet in the car and hand them to me. I of course take them when it rarely happens, but if it were me dropping off, I would change my kid myself. but then thats just me!
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SilverSabre25 01:42 PM 09-15-2011
Feelin' lazy and not attaching quotes to things, lol.

I agree that diapers should at least be changed prior to arrival. I prefer fully dressed for the day (newborns are the exception) but if they come in jammies, meh, whatever--I agree with blessedmess on this one.

Meeko, you might want to make a mark on the last diaper of the day from now on--so you at least know if the child arrives back to you in the same diaper they left in. That's gross...
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PitterPatter 01:54 PM 09-15-2011
Originally Posted by jenny31052:
I have this child that everymorning gets dropped off still in his PJ, and most of the time in a soaked, leaking diaper - he arrives at 6am; I wouldn't mind if it is once in a while, but now has become an habit - Mom works and lives 5 minutes from my house, and she always gets here on the very last minute, which makes me thing that she takes her time at home, then grab her son, the way he is, and drives over here. Last week I had to ask her to NOT drop off the kid on my couch if he is wet, since a few days prior he left a huge pee stain on our two weeks old love seat - I ALWAYS send home kids in a fresh diaper, and clean clothes... and I would appreciate the same from the parents - I don't know what to do, should I tell her to bring him already dressed for the day, or just leave it alone? The other kids that arrives just after him, are always cleaned, changed and ready to start the day...
I had this same problem! I finally had to be blunt with her. She still claimed she changed the diaper before they left but it is impossible for a 2 yr old to create 2 lbs of urine in his bladder in a 10 minute drive!

I put it in my newsletter and my handbook!

Please send your child clean and dressed for the day, including a fresh diaper!! If a child arrives in a wet diaper you will be asked to change them before you leave.
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sharlan 02:46 PM 09-15-2011
I'm lucky, never had that happen. If a child pooped on the way over, the parent always stopped and changed it.

I've always let the kids come in jammies, but the babies always had clean diapers.

I would be beyond ticked if a parent plopped a soggy kid on my new furniture.
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JenNJ 07:06 AM 09-16-2011
I don't mind PJ's at all. I do mind wet or poppy diapers. Its not nice to leave someone in filth or to pass the buck on a diaper change. Where ever, whenever it happens it needs to be taken care of in that place at that time. If a child poops here while mom and dad are chatting with me, I change the child so I expect the same.

Luckily I haven't had this issue with daycare but I had it as a nanny. I would arrived to a pee soaked bed with child sleeping in it and newspapers or a towel thrown on top. It was really upsetting.
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mom2many 07:51 AM 09-16-2011
Originally Posted by blessedmess8:
I could see asking for the diaper to be changed, maybe. I guess I'm too easy? I don't mind at all to dress them. I have fixed one of my girls' hair for the 2 years I've had her b/c Dad brought her really early and she'd come in and sleep. I feel like its part of the luxury of a child care home. They can come in PJs and go back to sleep! Heck, my own daughter likes to wear pajamas all day some days. I'm cool with it! Lol! I used to be a mom who worked out of the home and mornings sucked!! So, I'm more than happy to take up some slack for my parents. Buuuut, if you aren't comfortable with it, then saying something is a good move b/c otherwise you'll just end up resentful and that's never good!
I'm right there with you on this! I don't mind letting the kids come in their jammies and have no problem with getting them dressed. The parents are good about changing their diaper though and I wouldn't want them to be soaking thru when they arrived!

I have one little guy right now that is Autistic and has trouble transitioning...getting him dressed some mornings can be a battle for mom, so I told her not to stress and just let me do it after he gets settled in here.

During vacation some of the S/A will once in awhile come in their pjs and enjoy a leisurely morning before getting dressed. It's just never been an issue or caused me any negativity or resentment, but if it's a problem and doesn't work for you...it's best to speak up and let the parents know your expectations!
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TBird 12:05 PM 09-16-2011
If a baby or an infant poops on the way here (which is very rare), the parents always lift him/her out of the car seat and say "Oops...looks like Little Johnny pooped on the way over here. Should I change him real quick before I go???" Of course I always say no and that they should get to work, but BOY do I appreciate the courtesy!!!

MY POLICY: At drop off, children must arrive dressed and ready for the day in clean clothes (no pajamas please), including hair groomed, bathed and freshly diapered.

One lady used to drop her baby off in FULL AFRO, wanting me to sit and braid her hair during the day with a full house here. UM.....NO. I should also add TEETH BRUSHED to my policy. I had an 8 year old SA boy once who never brushed his teeth or combed his hair in the mornings. I told his mom that he represents ME when he walks out this door and onto the bus...PULEEZE have him come here looking like he's on his way to SCHOOL!!!
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Unregistered 07:36 PM 01-25-2013
From the tone of these posts, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a single one of you. Seeing how you're doing daycare where the culture, apparently, is to appoint yourselves judge and jury of all things parental, it may not have occured to you that if a parent is bringing a child to you in this condition, it is most likely that they tried waiting until the very last second to scoop up thier baby (to allow the baby to SLEEP a little more- what a CRIME!). She's likely hoping upon hope that she can somehow keep this child asleep so that the transition will be smoother for everyone involved. As a mother of 4 (2 in diapers now), I can tell you that it's not that big of a deal to change a diaper and put clothes on a child, particularly AFTER they have had a chance to wake up. This mom is dropping off this poor baby at 6am for crying out loud, and you want baby to be dressed to the nines before you will deign to care for her? Give me a break. Better yet, have a heart. From reading your approaches to this situation, I would seriously wonder if you were treating my child well when they were with you. You all sound horrible.

Oh, and if my daycare provider refused service over this issue when I tried to drop my kids off, I would fire her on the spot and make sure everyone I know hears about her attitude and unreliability.
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Meyou 02:52 AM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
From the tone of these posts, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a single one of you. Seeing how you're doing daycare where the culture, apparently, is to appoint yourselves judge and jury of all things parental, it may not have occured to you that if a parent is bringing a child to you in this condition, it is most likely that they tried waiting until the very last second to scoop up thier baby (to allow the baby to SLEEP a little more- what a CRIME!). She's likely hoping upon hope that she can somehow keep this child asleep so that the transition will be smoother for everyone involved. As a mother of 4 (2 in diapers now), I can tell you that it's not that big of a deal to change a diaper and put clothes on a child, particularly AFTER they have had a chance to wake up. This mom is dropping off this poor baby at 6am for crying out loud, and you want baby to be dressed to the nines before you will deign to care for her? Give me a break. Better yet, have a heart. From reading your approaches to this situation, I would seriously wonder if you were treating my child well when they were with you. You all sound horrible.

Oh, and if my daycare provider refused service over this issue when I tried to drop my kids off, I would fire her on the spot and make sure everyone I know hears about her attitude and unreliability.
Old thread but I DO NOT think it's too much to ask for a parent to take 45 seconds to remove a urine and/or feces filled diaper from their child's body that has been there for 8+ hours. You, yourself just said as a mother to 4 it isn't a big deal.

Our problem as providers is that sometimes parents think because we care for children that it's ok to neglect some of their children's basic needs because "we can do it for them". Having a clean fresh diaper and a fresh outfit even if it's a clean sleeper should not be something any child should have to wait for. It's often not about providers getting out of providing the service (in this case morning diapers), it's more about holding some parents accountable for their children's basic needs.
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EAP 07:00 AM 01-26-2013
I would just send a reminder that the policy is children need to be ready for the day when they arrive. Lately I feel less like trying to understand "why" and I just enforce the policies. She wouldn't send a school age child in PJs and ask his teacher to get him dressed and she wouldn't wait until she got to work to get dressed. A policy is a policy and they need to be followed regardless of the drop off time or her busy morning, we are all busy and its equally an early morning for the provider.
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saved4always 10:46 AM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
From the tone of these posts, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a single one of you. Seeing how you're doing daycare where the culture, apparently, is to appoint yourselves judge and jury of all things parental, it may not have occured to you that if a parent is bringing a child to you in this condition, it is most likely that they tried waiting until the very last second to scoop up thier baby (to allow the baby to SLEEP a little more- what a CRIME!). She's likely hoping upon hope that she can somehow keep this child asleep so that the transition will be smoother for everyone involved. As a mother of 4 (2 in diapers now), I can tell you that it's not that big of a deal to change a diaper and put clothes on a child, particularly AFTER they have had a chance to wake up. This mom is dropping off this poor baby at 6am for crying out loud, and you want baby to be dressed to the nines before you will deign to care for her? Give me a break. Better yet, have a heart. From reading your approaches to this situation, I would seriously wonder if you were treating my child well when they were with you. You all sound horrible.

Oh, and if my daycare provider refused service over this issue when I tried to drop my kids off, I would fire her on the spot and make sure everyone I know hears about her attitude and unreliability.
No, the "crime" is that a parent would think it is okay to make their child sit in a car seat in a leaking diaper and wait for that basic need of a clean bottom to be provided because mom doesn't want to take that "2 minutes" herself to care for her own child. It is not too much to expect a child to at least be changed from the nasty, stinking overnight diaper before leaving home (for me, pjs are fine unless they are dripping in urine). And then to place that child in the leaking diaper on someone else's couch to leave a big wet spot...that is rudeness beyond belief. Also, assuming that diaper will be changed immediately upon arrival at daycare would be a mistake. That assumes her child is the only one in care...if other children are arriving at the same time, it could be added minutes before the child can be changed.

Oh, and, by the way....before providing childcare, I worked full time outside the home. I had 2 in diapers and they were dropped off at daycare when it opened at 6:30 a.m. They were both ALWAYS in a clean diaper and clean clothes when they arrived. I never left them in an overnight diaper and expected the provider to change it. I would never have done that to my kids; it would have been neglect on MY part.
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daycarediva 04:31 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
From the tone of these posts, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a single one of you. Seeing how you're doing daycare where the culture, apparently, is to appoint yourselves judge and jury of all things parental, it may not have occured to you that if a parent is bringing a child to you in this condition, it is most likely that they tried waiting until the very last second to scoop up thier baby (to allow the baby to SLEEP a little more- what a CRIME!). She's likely hoping upon hope that she can somehow keep this child asleep so that the transition will be smoother for everyone involved. As a mother of 4 (2 in diapers now), I can tell you that it's not that big of a deal to change a diaper and put clothes on a child, particularly AFTER they have had a chance to wake up. This mom is dropping off this poor baby at 6am for crying out loud, and you want baby to be dressed to the nines before you will deign to care for her? Give me a break. Better yet, have a heart. From reading your approaches to this situation, I would seriously wonder if you were treating my child well when they were with you. You all sound horrible.

Oh, and if my daycare provider refused service over this issue when I tried to drop my kids off, I would fire her on the spot and make sure everyone I know hears about her attitude and unreliability.
It is against my state regulations to allow a child to sleep during the transition to my house. I must wake them if they are asleep to do a full daily health check.

I also have 4 kids, and had 3 in diapers and 1 not and worked full time outside the home. Like a pp said, my kids were dropped off at daycare in a CLEAN diaper. Overnight diapers are disgusting and it takes 2 minutes to change (as you said yourself).



It is in my contract that children stay in what clothes they came in, unless they get dirty. If you bring kiddo in pj's, they stay that way. I have a dcb that poops EVERYDAY in a clean pullup on the ride over. He is only not potty trained for poop and Mom will put him on the potty, and he will poop the minute they get in the car. Mom walks right by me (as I busily serve 6+ other kids breakfast) and tells me where they are headed...again.
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Unregistered 06:45 PM 01-26-2013
Years ago I had one boy who was dropped off in a very wet diaper..sagging to his knees...when I changed him I KNEW it was the diaper I had sent him home in at 5 o'clock the night before (this was 8 a.m. the next day) BECAUSE I had 2 or 3 in the same brand of diapers so wrote their names on the front...this diaper had his name on it in MY handwriting...
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Hunni Bee 08:18 PM 01-26-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
From the tone of these posts, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a single one of you. Seeing how you're doing daycare where the culture, apparently, is to appoint yourselves judge and jury of all things parental, it may not have occured to you that if a parent is bringing a child to you in this condition, it is most likely that they tried waiting until the very last second to scoop up thier baby (to allow the baby to SLEEP a little more- what a CRIME!). She's likely hoping upon hope that she can somehow keep this child asleep so that the transition will be smoother for everyone involved. As a mother of 4 (2 in diapers now), I can tell you that it's not that big of a deal to change a diaper and put clothes on a child, particularly AFTER they have had a chance to wake up. This mom is dropping off this poor baby at 6am for crying out loud, and you want baby to be dressed to the nines before you will deign to care for her? Give me a break. Better yet, have a heart. From reading your approaches to this situation, I would seriously wonder if you were treating my child well when they were with you. You all sound horrible.

Oh, and if my daycare provider refused service over this issue when I tried to drop my kids off, I would fire her on the spot and make sure everyone I know hears about her attitude and unreliability.
Would you do it? Would you drop your child off (or even leave the house) with your child in a soaked, leaking diaper? Knowingly, because there's no way you pick a child up, place your arm under their bottom to support them and not feel the telltale squishiness of a full diaper?

And would you rationalize it the way you described - "its okay if I bring my kid out in the cold with a leaking diaper and plop him on my daycare providers new couch because it let him sleep a little longer"?

No, Im guessing you wouldn't do this. Or maybe you have done it, and hearing how it makes people view you struck a nerve? Regardless, its lazy, neglectful and inconsiderate. Whether it takes five minutes or an hour to wash a child's face, change their diaper and slip on clean clothes, its your job as a parent.

Fwiw, I've dressed, diapered, done hair and even bathed hundreds of kiddos and its never taken me longer that 15 minutes - whether at 6 am or 6 pm.
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kitykids3 07:35 AM 01-27-2013
When my parents are dropping off, I don't have time to change the diapers and clothes. They need to come ready for the day. If I allow it for one, then others will expect me to get their kids dressed. I don't have time to change 5 diapers and sets of clothes when I should be getting breakfast ready and starting the day. If the child needs to sleep a little longer, then put them to bed a tad earlier. The daycare provider should not have to deal with those basics because mom and dad couldn't trouble themselves to. And you know the parents don't walk out of the house in jammies and messed up hair.
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jenny31052 03:31 PM 01-27-2013
I have six kids that gets dropped off between 6 and 6.30 am - I have no time to change soaked, nasty, leaking diapers from the night before because I'm busy receiving the kids, cooking breakfast, and getting ready for the day. Kids needs to arrive ready to participate to our activities, which means having clean clothes, and fresh diapers.

I get my own son ready and dressed before I come downstair to the daycare area. Not even my own son gets off the bed, and lounge in his pj and overnight diaper all morning. He is ready to go and play, like all of the other kids.

This parents live just around the corner, and this is her only child. Yes, she needs to find 5 minutes in the morning to get him ready for daycare.

BTW: this was a old post of mine, and I eventually terminated this family for late payments, late pick-ups, and no call- no show... go figure...
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Former Teacher 04:29 PM 01-27-2013
Originally Posted by jenny31052:
I have six kids that gets dropped off between 6 and 6.30 am - I have no time to change soaked, nasty, leaking diapers from the night before because I'm busy receiving the kids, cooking breakfast, and getting ready for the day. Kids needs to arrive ready to participate to our activities, which means having clean clothes, and fresh diapers.

I get my own son ready and dressed before I come downstair to the daycare area. Not even my own son gets off the bed, and lounge in his pj and overnight diaper all morning. He is ready to go and play, like all of the other kids.

This parents live just around the corner, and this is her only child. Yes, she needs to find 5 minutes in the morning to get him ready for daycare.

BTW: this was a old post of mine, and I eventually terminated this family for late payments, late pick-ups, and no call- no show... go figure...
Awesome!

I just love when "unregistered" brings up old posts and we get an update from the original poster!
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Tags:bad parent, filthy, soiled, unkept
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