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Josiegirl 02:36 AM 10-05-2017
Two dcgs that turned 3 yo in June. Two babies, ages 4 mo and 12 mo. The 2 older dcgs love to love the babies but have no self control. It's much easier to keep track of the 4 mo because he's always in the spot I place him. The 12 mo is all over the place, not quite walking yet but speed crawls. I have now come to the point where the 3 yos have to get separated a lot from the babies(mainly the 12 mo) because they just will NOT leave her alone. If I allowed it, they would be kissing that baby every single minute.
What to do? Their parents are all about discussing gentle touches, what is baby trying to tell you, blah blah blah. I'm done with that stuff because it DOESN'T work with them.
I don't believe in TO but have been making them sit out when they don't listen. So basically same thing.
Help please?
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laundrymom 03:10 AM 10-05-2017
"No touch my babies"
Is my rule.
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Blackcat31 06:22 AM 10-05-2017
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
"No touch my babies"
Is my rule.
This ^^

NO further discussion.

DO.NOT.TOUCH.the baby.EVER.
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rosieteddy 06:32 AM 10-05-2017
I bought a playpen ,the kind with no floor that you can make as big as you want.Then I started the infants in it.My rocker was next to it.We called it the clubhouse.I would use it for infants -so the older kids could color or use blocks without the babies wreckimg everything.Then switched older kids could go in when littles exploring.My rule was no touching the babies.Hands behind your back when talking to them.Everytime they do ,I would put them in time out.Hopefully they will learn quick.If you would rather you could do a good chart.Every day that they listen they get a sticker 5 stickers some reward.Just some ideas.
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HappyEverAfter 11:25 AM 10-05-2017
I have 2 infants and a 14mth old. The 14mth old LOVES the babies. I can't leave her anywhere out of my arms reach with them around. Initially she was always trying to touch their eyeballs and we have gotten that habit to disappear with a lot of "never touch the baby's face". We practiced gentle touching on the back and gentle hand holding and most days she does okay with that. Still, with having little to no impulse control at her young age, I never leave them unattended with her free roaming. If she's touching a baby on the back or holding their hand, said baby is safely in my arms so that if need be, I can pull the baby away. If a baby is in the bouncer or exersaucer, she knows she can't touch them. She still wants to and always asks but I always say no, that she can only touch them if I'm holding them and helping her. It's tough but I have seen improvements so I feel like as she gets a little older it will get better.
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Josiegirl 02:17 AM 10-06-2017
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
"No touch my babies"
Is my rule.
So at what age do you allow them a little bit of physical contact or is it when they show they can be nice enough?
Obviously, I don't allow them to touch the 4 mo at any time unless it's with me right there, same as Starrygirl does. But the 12 mo is all over the place now, which I don't want to hinder her independence and exploration, but man, it is tough watching everything while you're trying to do everything for everybody. And these 2 dcgs are very physical little beings, hugging, kissing, wrapping their arms around each other.
Yesterday, I made it very clear it was hands off both babies. HANDS OFF. End of discussion. They were really good, after they figured out I meant business, until about 4:00, then were testing every rule in the book.
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Blackcat31 07:00 AM 10-06-2017
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
So at what age do you allow them a little bit of physical contact or is it when they show they can be nice enough?
Obviously, I don't allow them to touch the 4 mo at any time unless it's with me right there, same as Starrygirl does. But the 12 mo is all over the place now, which I don't want to hinder her independence and exploration, but man, it is tough watching everything while you're trying to do everything for everybody. And these 2 dcgs are very physical little beings, hugging, kissing, wrapping their arms around each other.
Yesterday, I made it very clear it was hands off both babies. HANDS OFF. End of discussion. They were really good, after they figured out I meant business, until about 4:00, then were testing every rule in the book.
I don't really allow or encourage it at any age.

Physical contact is too risky for the under 5 crowd.

I hug, cuddle and engage in physical affection and play with the kids but I don't generally allow any of my DCK's to be physical with each other. The exceptions would be hand holding while in line or playing a group game like parachute or something ... otherwise there really is no reason for the kids to be physically touching each other.

I used to have a DCK that was an "oops" baby... he had siblings 10+ yrs older and so he was constantly surrounded by adults. Any rough housing or physical behavior in his house wasn't viewed as aggressive, unwanted, or physical in any negative way...he was small in comparison to all the bigger people in his household. He never fully understood personal space or boundaries and was continually touching, hugging and being physical with the other daycare kids.

Many of them did not like it or welcome his presence. His mom was forever saying "But he just wants to hug them..." or "he is just being affectionate" in response to my redirecting him to not touch others.

I think it was really difficult for mom to understand that ALL touch is something that requires permission. Even hugs/kisses are unwelcome if a person does not want to be hugged or kissed.

For that reason, I discourage almost all physical play/touch between daycare kids. I don't care how old. Sometimes it simply has no place in the environment.
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laundrymom 07:56 AM 10-06-2017
No touch my babies. Ever.
And no hugging unless telling someone goodbye. And never ever ever any kissing.
We give wenis "hi fives" after about 18 mo. Or whenever they can independently do it.
(Think hi fives w elbows.) we do not fist bump or high five.
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