Daycare.com Forum Kidacare by Minute Menu Force of Nature Disinfectant HiMama Childcare App

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:42 AM
theassistant's Avatar
theassistant theassistant is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6
Default Talking to Parent About Working with Child at Home?

At our home daycare, we have 3 year old little boy who is very sweet, but he is very much behind in what he should know. He knows his ABCs, but can't identify the letters nor even the ones in his own name. This wouldn't be so bad, if his name wasn't two letters and basically initials (think CJ, though that's not it). He doesn't know any colors and only today, was he able to recgonize one shape. He struggles with counting as well.We go over it with him and are gentle, kind, but he really just doesn't seem to grasp it. He even has trouble identifying things in pictures. I had a picture of Goodnight Moon out and told him to tell me one of the things he saw. Not a specific shape or color, just anything. And he stared at it blankly. He's very talkative and loves playing, but when it comes to learning, he just can't seem to grasp it.

I think a big problem is, his mom doesn't work with him at home. We've tried talking to her about the fact that he doesn't know the letters in his name and that he's struggling, but she either ignores us or doesn't get what we're trying to say. Like when we brought up the name thing, she said "He knows his name." Well, yes, he knows it, but he can't spell it or recgonize the letters, even when his name is literally us saying two letters. She has two older kids that I know have also struggled in school from meeting them in the past and they didn't know much. She doesn't work, so she's home and can work with them on this stuff. You have to trust me that she just...doesn't care. 99% of parents talk about development and what they should be learning...she never does. Even when it came to potty training, she expected us to do most of the work and it took her awhile to realize that she had to follow through at home. (He is now completely potty trained.)

Is there a way to talk to her to get her to see that she needs to work with him? Any tips on how to talk to her? My boss is afraid she'll just pull him if we try to reccomend things and that's not what we want. We want him to continue learning, but we just feel at a loss here.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-23-2019, 11:50 AM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 7,968
Default

I feel that 3 is still too young to be worrying about this kind of stuff. Make it fun for him and keep trying but that’s it. Learning should be fun and I can guarantee some of him staring blankly is likely anxiety and feeling stupid already at this age. Make him feel smart, give him confidence, that is your job. He will eventually learn his letters.

It is possible mom thinks this way too or she might have had a bad experience in school. If there is a learning disability she might have it as well which makes things tough for her to follow through. You did what you could with mom so just keep working on it at school and praise him for doing the best that he can.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:00 PM
theassistant's Avatar
theassistant theassistant is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6
Default

We definitely do everything we can to make learning fun. We've been working on him with this for awhile, and it's not like we drill him on it. We find fun ways to teach him. And I know comparing kids isn't the answer, but he is definitely behind the other kids here. Then again, the other kids have parents working with them. We never get frustrated with him, but it's hard to feel like he's really grasping anything.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:28 PM
Mom2Two's Avatar
Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 1,851
Default

It’s against my policies (and plenty of research) to do the kind of academic skills mentioned here. Three year olds have so much to learn socially and with self-help etc, I feel that overt academics is just not really developmentally appropriate.

It’s nice and all that the parents are working with their kids, but I wouldn’t worry sbout the one who isn’t getting that at home.

Kids learn so much foundational stuff from exploring. Academics at three years are a distraction.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:40 PM
theassistant's Avatar
theassistant theassistant is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6
Default

From the studies I have done, it is age appropriate to start introducing letters at 18 months and shapes by 2, 2.5 years old. While I understand your concern, he is very good in those other areas. He is very sociable, has lots of friends and can do a lot of things by himself (dress himself, go to the bathroom, put on his shoes, feed himself, wipes his own hands and mouth, etc.).
While I understand your daycare may not do that, ours is a preschool/kindergarten enrichment program, which the parents know upon enrollment. They expect the children to learn, but we also enforce that it is a team effort.
But I understand that all daycares are not alike and not all will teach these things, which is perfectly fine. Ours does and that will not change.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:07 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 7,968
Default

It is age appropriate to “introduce” but not expect them to know it all by 3. If she knew upon enrollment that you were an “enrichment” preschool and she does not seem to care about how he is doing I am not sure why you should care. You are doing your part! Personally I would let it go and have had to do that professionally many times, especially if I had already addressed the topic.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-23-2019, 02:42 PM
Mike's Avatar
Mike Mike is online now
starting daycare someday
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,502
Default

I do some professional tutoring and find that some children don't learn the ABCs, colors, or shapes very well at that age. If he were 4, there would be some concern. If they don't know the basics at age 5, then it does need to be looked into.

My favorite tutoring student was a 5 yo girl. I put out my tutoring flyers at this time 2 years ago, advertising summer tutoring. This girl was 5 and going to school in September, but didn't know any of the basics yet. Reason was, she couldn't hear. She had just been taken to a foster home after finding out the reason she couldn't hear was medical and the mother wasn't doing anything about it. The new foster parent saw my flyer and called. The girl had seen a doctor and was finally able to hear. I went over for 2 hours once a week for 8 weeks and the girl learned the alphabet, numbers to 20, colors and shapes, and could clearly print her name. She enjoyed every session just as much as I did. I bumped into them in a store a year later and she was excitedly telling me how well she was doing in school.

I wouldn't be too worried about his current abilities. Just continue with fun activities and he will catch on later.
__________________
Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
They are also our future.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-23-2019, 02:49 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,354
Default

At 3 he should be playing a majority of the day.
He has all the time in the word for academics.

I'd focus on foundational skills such a social skills, self-help and independence building.

ABC's and 1,2,3's are so not necessary.

I know a lot of book smart people that have zero skills in self control, socializing or being independent.

Build a strong foundation and the rest comes easily. later.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-23-2019, 03:55 PM
Pestle's Avatar
Pestle Pestle is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,584
Default

At 3, it's the "pre-" skills. Pre-writing, pre-math. Pencil grip, drawing straight lines and smooth arches, learning to assign one number per object, etc. Some kids will pick the letters and some basic math up at age 3. Most won't. But the foundation work is critical right now, as they are in a sensitive period for fine motor skills, size and color and shape discrimination, etc. I provide size and shape sorting activities, sandpaper letters to finger-trace, zigzag lines to trace with pencils. I do some basic color theory activities with paints and crayons. Have you seen progress in those areas? What kind of activities is he guided toward that help him build those skills?

I agree that he needs an eye kept on him if he isn't identifying any shapes or colors yet. It's typical for even kids who aren't completely verbal to point out objects, colors, and shapes when asked. But the fact that he doesn't do it doesn't mean he's lagging on those skills. There could be any number of reasons he doesn't respond. For instance, you didn't provide him with a guideline when you asked him to tell you something he saw on the page. He might have been at a loss. He might have vision problems. He might have felt tired or contrary.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-24-2019, 06:38 AM
CalCare's Avatar
CalCare CalCare is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California
Posts: 657
Default

I have to agree with the other comments. I don't do any of the academics in my program because I was always taught in my ECE classes and all of my reading on my own, its not DAP.

If you include it in your program and make it fun, that's definitely your prerogative, but I wouldn't continue to try to get the parents to do any of it at home. Reading at night is a great way to get language, social, cognitive, etc in! Maybe your program could sort of make a thing about reading every night with the kids. That's a good middle ground.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
age appropriate - activities, age appropriate - curriculum, dap

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Child's Behavior At Pick Up momatheart Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 11 07-29-2017 01:39 PM
Thoughts On Particular Child - Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 12-17-2014 05:54 AM
Drop Off Problem... Dsquared Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 15 02-11-2011 10:52 AM
My Contract...What Do You Think? JeepGirl6 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 14 01-21-2011 06:17 PM
Child Abuse Laws Preschool/daycare teacher Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 2 09-21-2010 02:49 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:41 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming