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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Please Help. No One Listens:(
SunflowerMama 10:40 AM 12-03-2012
I"m at a total loss right now.

I have 4 dcks ages 2-3 and I feel like I am repeating myself all day long. No one listens at all...please stop jumping on the couch, walking feet, hands to yourself, lay down and rest. It can be so frustrating at times and to add to my frustration I have almost 6yr old twins who don't mind me half the time either. I know it is probably something I am or am not doing but have no idea what to do.

Any suggestions, advice would be great. I'm desperate at this point.
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crazydaycarelady 10:48 AM 12-03-2012
Maybe if they don't listen after the first time they go for a little sit in a time out spot?
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SunflowerMama 11:00 AM 12-03-2012
I've tried that especially with the jumping on the furniture but it just doesn't seem to phase them. They do their TO, get out and are right back to it. Rinse and repeat.

They are definitely a little pack so if one starts something they all follow. It's deinitely testing limits but I'm just at a loss bc I've tried timeouts, rewards, praise, losing fun things, etc.
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cheerfuldom 11:35 AM 12-03-2012
sounds like kids that need a lot more outdoor time. run off the energy and then get creative with consequences that do get their attention.
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Blackcat31 11:41 AM 12-03-2012
Sounds to me like no one should be allowed on the sofa if they can't treat it nicely.

I would start a reward chart for each child and start giving them lots of encouragement to have a great listening day. Maybe even start out with some listening games such as Simon Says or Red Light, Green Light just to introduce them what listening is.

I would also start having some talks with your own about how you would really like them to start being a good example of what a good listener is so the DCK's can follow suit and do the same.

I would spend less time reprimanding them about it as I think the attention for constant naughty behavior is fun for some kids.

If you find someone jumping, just calmly walk over and remove them from the sofa, put on your "mean mommy" face and say firmly "NO!" and then walk away. I would then start a fun activity and invite the behaving kids to join you. The kid who was jumping will watch and wait for an invite too and when you notice he is waiting, you can then discuss with him that jumping on the sofa is not allowed and that if he would like to participate, he will need to apologize for jumping and not following rules first.

I also like to include the older kids in setting up the rules of the house and helping me decide what the consequences should be. When kids have a stake in the rule making, they tend to follow them better.

I would also start giving rewards for good listeners and when they are "caught" listening well, you cna give them a sticker for their chart. When someone earns 5 stickers here, they get to pick a treat out of my treat basket at pick up time. In the basket is little trinkets and tiny Tootsie Rolls.
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providerandmomof4 12:01 PM 12-03-2012
I had the same problem with my summer group. I really think that for me, it was the group of kids I had (very rambunctious, unruly, disrespectful), but also it was me. I was so worried about them thinking and in turn telling their parents that I was mean, that I let them walk all over me. I had never had to be a disciplinarian before, and wasn't sure how to get my group under control.

I had to get strict. I had to set boundaries and stick to them. I had to get over whether or not I was their favorite person, or if they told their parents that I was mean.

I had a group of boys right now that I don't have to be like that with. They just know how to behave.... I can tell them a rule or expectation and I don't have repeat, ask and plead with them. Truthfully, I don't think that I would ever keep kids like I had over the summer again.

It's hard to get up every day and know that you'll have to be dealing with behaviors all day. I hope this helps a little..
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Willow 12:02 PM 12-03-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sounds to me like no one should be allowed on the sofa if they can't treat it nicely.
This is what I do.

And I don't do second chances as far as that one's concerned.

If you're caught jumping on any of my furniture you lose the privilege of using it for the rest of the day. If they forget and head on up after they've lost it I'll remind them of what happened and let them know I hope they make better choices regarding the couch/chairs tomorrow.


Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Maybe even start out with some listening games such as Simon Says or Red Light, Green Light just to introduce them what listening is.
Simon Says is a huge hit here and is a great way to practice listening skills in a really fun way.

To add to that, if I have an especially oppositional kiddo, throughout the day I'll play around with giving directions for things they're already inclined to be doing. So say little Jane is going potty and she's great at washing her hands afterward, after I hear the flush I'll ask her to please remember to wash her hands. Or if Johnny is playing trucks and I see he's about to head up a ramp I'll ask him to take that Ford right to the top. When she says she's already doing it or comes out with them done, or Johnny indeed proceeds to drive the truck to the top with glee, that gives me the opportunity to over-praise for compliance....which then inspires minding in the future.

I really do think that's one of the main reasons why the kids in my care are such great listeners, because I practice the skill with them so many times throughout the day and not just in regards to things they don't want to do. They start listening without even thinking much about it if at all as opposed to the typical (especially toddler) gut reaction to just always say no way.
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SunflowerMama 12:10 PM 12-03-2012
Thanks guys for all the great advice! I'm definitely going to start implementing a few ideas beginning as soon as nap is over.

I like the chart idea with rewards at the end of the day. I know that sort of thing doesn't work with all kids but my group seems very motivated by the visual and tangible so I'll give it a shot!
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Blackcat31 12:25 PM 12-03-2012
Originally Posted by SunflowerMama:
Thanks guys for all the great advice! I'm definitely going to start implementing a few ideas beginning as soon as nap is over.

I like the chart idea with rewards at the end of the day. I know that sort of thing doesn't work with all kids but my group seems very motivated by the visual and tangible so I'll give it a shot!
If you use MMK, you can customize and print off charts for each kid. I buy little foil stars and let the kids who earned on peel and stick them on their own. They LOVE doing it!
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