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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child w/ Autism
lefdaly711 10:57 AM 03-11-2013
I currently have a DCG in my center who I am almost 100% sure is autistic. She is showing nearly every sign for this. I need some suggestions on how to talk to the parents. This would be my second conversation with them. The first convo I had with them, I explained my concerns of her developmental delays (I was told to not say the word autism) But its not getting through to them and when I make comments to them here and there, they are not caring. I am very concerned for this child as early intervention is very crucial with autism. I would appreciate any help
littleblossoms 11:07 AM 03-11-2013
I will booked a time for the parents to come in. i will not discuss this at pick up or drop off as parents are always in a rush. then I will go over the delays about the child also asked parents if they were concerned about her delays. If you both on the same page that the child has delays then I will advice to seek help early
itlw8 11:08 AM 03-11-2013
what ever you do do NOT diagnose or even say the word autism.
If you have serious concerns write them down and send it with mom to the next check up. Give them the information on who to call for testing and early intervention services.
You can also copy a developmental check list and mark where the child falls in each catagory. Make a blank one for them to do the same. the child may do different things at home. It is possible to be on the lower end of average and be just fine.
If you have serious concerns write them down and send it with mom to the next check up. Give them the information on who to call for testing and early intervention services.
You can also copy a developmental check list and mark where the child falls in each catagory. Make a blank one for them to do the same. the child may do different things at home. It is possible to be on the lower end of average and be just fine.
lefdaly711 11:18 AM 03-11-2013
Well here is the kicker. I think in the Moms heart she has an idea that something is wrong, she said to me on friday and today "Have you noticed that shes not communicating her needs" I wanted to say well ofcoarse I have, I sat you down two months ago and discussed this. But I didnt say that, I told her some things today and she said "well maybe she just being stubborn" These parents are absent. One time this child had a very bad diaper rash and i had to URGE them to go to the doctors in which she needed a prescription cream. Last week I told the mother I am concerned about how she is walking (the child walks w one foot almost all the way turned it) The mothers reply "Oh I havent noticed" I am dealing w a mother who doesnt want to face things. I have kept a rolling record on this childs behavior......this child does have a check up in April and I am just so afraid that the mother will not tell the doctor ANY of my concerns or show them my record......its truly mind boggling. This is their second child, they should KNOW something is wrong. Its just so disheartening.
butterfly 11:27 AM 03-11-2013
I would let them know about the birth to 3 program or the screenings available through the school district. These things are free and if they find nothing - great, but if they see what you see, then they can offer some services to help the child.
MarinaVanessa 11:43 AM 03-11-2013
I would do as suggested by a previous post and take a checklist of milestones of development from a reputable source and not only mark where the child is but also jot down notes of times where you have seen/have not seen the child meet these milestones. For example if one of the milestones is about speech and says that the child has a 50 word vocabulary observe her for a week and write down all of the words that she says. This way if you leave the milestone unmarked the parent can then see that not only is the box unchecked but her child only says X number of words.
Offer (like the above post says) the parent a blank copy of the milestones to do at home to see if she observes the same thing. Keep in mind that if this mom is denial then the results of her observation may be biased and that's ok, you will just have to accept that.
Once she reviews the results and/or observes her own child then you can discuss what she thinks about it. If she is still hesitant ask her when her DD's next appointment will be an then offer her a brochure of your local early intervention program which specifically has the information for free assessments. Write down and remember the month of the child's next appointment and again give her a copy of your previous observation results as well as an updated one to see if there are any new developments. Have her take these with her and suggest that she mention this to her child's Dr.
If she does nothing then there is nothing else that you can do. I have been through this before and as hard as it is to accept you can't force a parent to get their child assessed.
Offer (like the above post says) the parent a blank copy of the milestones to do at home to see if she observes the same thing. Keep in mind that if this mom is denial then the results of her observation may be biased and that's ok, you will just have to accept that.
Once she reviews the results and/or observes her own child then you can discuss what she thinks about it. If she is still hesitant ask her when her DD's next appointment will be an then offer her a brochure of your local early intervention program which specifically has the information for free assessments. Write down and remember the month of the child's next appointment and again give her a copy of your previous observation results as well as an updated one to see if there are any new developments. Have her take these with her and suggest that she mention this to her child's Dr.
If she does nothing then there is nothing else that you can do. I have been through this before and as hard as it is to accept you can't force a parent to get their child assessed.
mrsnj 01:19 PM 03-12-2013
I have been there. Just sent my little man off to kindergarten....with a heavy heart.
CLEARLY this child had issues. I suspected autism for years....large, small motor skills, speech issues and delays, social cue issues, potty training issues....I could go on. He was the sweetest boy but mom clearly didn't want to be bothered. Turns out the dr even spotted issues and wanted him tested for things and mom said no and he was fine, she did XYZ late and was ok or just flat out said he was lazy and stupid (I joke not!) Broke my heart.
I always said I have never sent a child off to kindergarten not potty trained. Till now. *sigh*
It was so bad that I spoke with several special ed teachers I know to get teaching ideas from them for him so he would be close to being ready for kinder. I didn't want him to stand out any more than he was already and we worked hard to get him there.
When kinder testing came I thought "This is it. He will finally get the help he needs". Mom comes in and says he is just a 'lazy brat' and was going to put him in underwear and off to kindergarten. She even tried not bringing him to kinder testing and saying she didn't know she had to bring him in hopes of sliding him in.
Now I would NEVER recommend this but I knew a few teachers and principals at the district and made a call. Educational wise this child was going to pass that test. Mom was going to put underwear on him and a backpack on and send him off and that poor child would have the hardest day of his life come September. She openly told me that. So....I called and pulled a few strings. They looked for him at the testing she was forced to bring him to and did some extra testing. He was put in a special kinder class and have since tested him!
He now has an IEP and getting the help he so needed finally. I am so glad I did what I did. He is such a sweet child and deserved so much more.
I agree...you can talk to them all you want. But if mom says nothing is wrong, it makes no difference what you do. Nothing is wrong. Your options are limited as sad as it might be. Do like I did and research, ask around and get ideas on how to help. Do the best you can.
It is not an easy situation in any way. HOPEFULLY your parent will be kinder and more open. Just keep talking with her. Maybe she will listen.
CLEARLY this child had issues. I suspected autism for years....large, small motor skills, speech issues and delays, social cue issues, potty training issues....I could go on. He was the sweetest boy but mom clearly didn't want to be bothered. Turns out the dr even spotted issues and wanted him tested for things and mom said no and he was fine, she did XYZ late and was ok or just flat out said he was lazy and stupid (I joke not!) Broke my heart.
I always said I have never sent a child off to kindergarten not potty trained. Till now. *sigh*
It was so bad that I spoke with several special ed teachers I know to get teaching ideas from them for him so he would be close to being ready for kinder. I didn't want him to stand out any more than he was already and we worked hard to get him there.
When kinder testing came I thought "This is it. He will finally get the help he needs". Mom comes in and says he is just a 'lazy brat' and was going to put him in underwear and off to kindergarten. She even tried not bringing him to kinder testing and saying she didn't know she had to bring him in hopes of sliding him in.
Now I would NEVER recommend this but I knew a few teachers and principals at the district and made a call. Educational wise this child was going to pass that test. Mom was going to put underwear on him and a backpack on and send him off and that poor child would have the hardest day of his life come September. She openly told me that. So....I called and pulled a few strings. They looked for him at the testing she was forced to bring him to and did some extra testing. He was put in a special kinder class and have since tested him!
He now has an IEP and getting the help he so needed finally. I am so glad I did what I did. He is such a sweet child and deserved so much more.I agree...you can talk to them all you want. But if mom says nothing is wrong, it makes no difference what you do. Nothing is wrong. Your options are limited as sad as it might be. Do like I did and research, ask around and get ideas on how to help. Do the best you can.
It is not an easy situation in any way. HOPEFULLY your parent will be kinder and more open. Just keep talking with her. Maybe she will listen.