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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Am I Mean Or Is This What You Guys Do Too?
daycare 01:41 PM 01-30-2013
At my daycare, we are run more like a preschool with extended daycare hours.
My main focus for all of the children is self help skills. I only take children 20 months to 5 years of age as long as they are not enrolled in school.
I start working with the kids the minute they enroll all about self help. Everything from putting on shoes, to self feeding using proper fork,spoon, etc.
ONce the kids show me that they can do something, I then expect them to do it themselves. For example if they show me they can put their own shoes on, then I will not do it for them when they are here.
This morning I had a child age 3.5 come in and refused to take off his own shoes, threw his legs out towards me and said, MIss _____ take my shoes off. I smiled and said, my big boys take their own shoes off, just like you do every single day and i walked away back to what I was doing.
Well dcm gets upset and wants to know why I won't help him. She says oh looks like __________ is in a bad mood today and is not being helpful, I will help you. DCM takes off shoes and leaves.
Am I the only one that has these expectations? BTW I was so mad at the DCM this morning, but I bit my tongue and did not mutter a word...
My main focus for all of the children is self help skills. I only take children 20 months to 5 years of age as long as they are not enrolled in school.
I start working with the kids the minute they enroll all about self help. Everything from putting on shoes, to self feeding using proper fork,spoon, etc.
ONce the kids show me that they can do something, I then expect them to do it themselves. For example if they show me they can put their own shoes on, then I will not do it for them when they are here.
This morning I had a child age 3.5 come in and refused to take off his own shoes, threw his legs out towards me and said, MIss _____ take my shoes off. I smiled and said, my big boys take their own shoes off, just like you do every single day and i walked away back to what I was doing.
Well dcm gets upset and wants to know why I won't help him. She says oh looks like __________ is in a bad mood today and is not being helpful, I will help you. DCM takes off shoes and leaves.
Am I the only one that has these expectations? BTW I was so mad at the DCM this morning, but I bit my tongue and did not mutter a word...
Country Kids 01:52 PM 01-30-2013
I don't get this at all with parents!
I'm doing a workshop on Kindergarten Readiness-guess what the second characteristic is:
Ability to dress independently (I'm sure this means putting on the shoes)
I'm letting the parents ALL know that I will be implementing this into my program. The children need to put their shoes and coats themselves when parents arrive and they need to be working on it at home also.
I'm doing a workshop on Kindergarten Readiness-guess what the second characteristic is:
Ability to dress independently (I'm sure this means putting on the shoes)
I'm letting the parents ALL know that I will be implementing this into my program. The children need to put their shoes and coats themselves when parents arrive and they need to be working on it at home also.
Thetotspot 01:53 PM 01-30-2013
Oh man...if a parent said that in front of me i would have lost it. I work with kids on self help skills as well. If they have mastered it i would expect them to do it unless say i was in a hurry and we were late to leave for school or whatnot. But if a kid demanded something like that...gosh i think i would have maybe played silly and tried to get kid to do it. But i have a problem with backbone and probably would have given in in front of parents if kid asked nicely...im still afraid of angering the parental units.
cheerfuldom 01:54 PM 01-30-2013
I would mention it. letting mom know that because you do group care, all the kids are required to learn self help skills. she is welcome to stay for a minute and take his shoes off if it is that big of a deal for her but it is not something you will be doing. He is required to handle all his own personal belongings (shoes, hat, jacket, etc) just like its required at other preschools and certainly in kindergarten. Further, you dont appreciate her voicing that because you require him to show that he is a big boy, that that means you are in a "bad mood". The comment was disrespectful. If she has a question about requirements at your preschool/daycare, she is welcome to discuss it by phone after hours (or whatever way you prefer) but issues are not to be addressed with passive aggressive comments to a child.
daycare 01:56 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I don't get this at all with parents!
I'm doing a workshop on Kindergarten Readiness-guess what the second characteristic is:
Ability to dress independently (I'm sure this means putting on the shoes)
I'm letting the parents ALL know that I will be implementing this into my program. The children need to put their shoes and coats themselves when parents arrive and they need to be working on it at home also.
CK it is more than just shoes, its 100% self Independence in the bathroom. Meaning that they can fully take care of themselves without assistance of any kind in order to be successful in kinder.I don't get this at all with parents!
I'm doing a workshop on Kindergarten Readiness-guess what the second characteristic is:
Ability to dress independently (I'm sure this means putting on the shoes)
I'm letting the parents ALL know that I will be implementing this into my program. The children need to put their shoes and coats themselves when parents arrive and they need to be working on it at home also.
Several years ago when I decided to do a kinder ready program here, I went and sat with some kinder teachers at a meeting. I asked them what I could do to better prepare the kids for their class.
they all agreed and said this:
SELF HELP SKILLS and Break them of their naps at least a month before they are to start school.
they said that so many kids struggle with shoe laces and snaps... I do teach the kids snaps and how to tie laces. But we don't start the laces until they are about 4.5.....
Jewels 01:57 PM 01-30-2013
No I would not take the shoes off, although I guess I have occasionaly when I have my 6:30 arrivals( I have 2) and they still seem half asleep, then I will help, but they don't ask, but for all arrivals after that or when they are good and awake, they can do it themselves, they need to be able to.
kitykids3 01:57 PM 01-30-2013
No, I am the exact same way. I think too many parents do too much for their kids. Once I've seen them do it once, then yes, I expect them to be able to do it again. On occassion they may be having a hard time with whatever it is they're doing (putting on jacket, etc.) because they're tired or what have you, so I'll help them, but rarely. and I mean help, not do it for them.
Either way, I always make them at least try, even if it is something they haven't accomplished yet.
Parents might think it's mean or just faster to do it themselves, but in the long run it will save them time later, plus it is good for the kid's self-esteem to learn to do things for themselves, provided it is not too much frustration for them.
As far as your parent this morning, I would have corrected her and told her I was not in a bad mood, that I know dcb can do it himself and I am teaching him to do things for him self.
My parents are told from the interview that self-help skills are a BIG part of my program, so they know that. Sometimes I'll even make occasional comments if a parent is doing something for a dck that they can easily do themselves. Something like "___dck___, how come you're having mommy put on your shoes, you're a big kid and know how to do that." but in a nice voice.
I also tell parents when their child has mastered a new skill, so then the dck can't pull the wool over their eyes saying they can't. It frustrates me to see the parents doing things like that for the kids when I know they can do it themselves. It feels like the progress I make and work I do gets tossed out the window. That's why a lot of the times I have the kiddos get ready before parents come if I can.
Either way, I always make them at least try, even if it is something they haven't accomplished yet.
Parents might think it's mean or just faster to do it themselves, but in the long run it will save them time later, plus it is good for the kid's self-esteem to learn to do things for themselves, provided it is not too much frustration for them.
As far as your parent this morning, I would have corrected her and told her I was not in a bad mood, that I know dcb can do it himself and I am teaching him to do things for him self.
My parents are told from the interview that self-help skills are a BIG part of my program, so they know that. Sometimes I'll even make occasional comments if a parent is doing something for a dck that they can easily do themselves. Something like "___dck___, how come you're having mommy put on your shoes, you're a big kid and know how to do that." but in a nice voice.
I also tell parents when their child has mastered a new skill, so then the dck can't pull the wool over their eyes saying they can't. It frustrates me to see the parents doing things like that for the kids when I know they can do it themselves. It feels like the progress I make and work I do gets tossed out the window. That's why a lot of the times I have the kiddos get ready before parents come if I can.
Country Kids 01:57 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
CK it is more than just shoes, its 100% self Independence in the bathroom. Meaning that they can fully take care of themselves without assistance of any kind in order to be successful in kinder.
Several years ago when I decided to do a kinder ready program here, I went and sat with some kinder teachers at a meeting. I asked them what I could do to better prepare the kids for their class.
they all agreed and said this:
SELF HELP SKILLS and Break them of their naps at least a month before they are to start school.
they said that so many kids struggle with shoe laces and snaps... I do teach the kids snaps and how to tie laces. But we don't start the laces until they are about 4.5.....
Totally agree with everything you are saying sister! Now to get the parents on board!CK it is more than just shoes, its 100% self Independence in the bathroom. Meaning that they can fully take care of themselves without assistance of any kind in order to be successful in kinder.
Several years ago when I decided to do a kinder ready program here, I went and sat with some kinder teachers at a meeting. I asked them what I could do to better prepare the kids for their class.
they all agreed and said this:
SELF HELP SKILLS and Break them of their naps at least a month before they are to start school.
they said that so many kids struggle with shoe laces and snaps... I do teach the kids snaps and how to tie laces. But we don't start the laces until they are about 4.5.....
daycare 01:58 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would mention it. letting mom know that because you do group care, all the kids are required to learn self help skills. she is welcome to stay for a minute and take his shoes off if it is that big of a deal for her but it is not something you will be doing. He is required to handle all his own personal belongings (shoes, hat, jacket, etc) just like its required at other preschools and certainly in kindergarten. Further, you dont appreciate her voicing that because you require him to show that he is a big boy, that that means you are in a "bad mood". The comment was disrespectful. If she has a question about requirements at your preschool/daycare, she is welcome to discuss it by phone after hours (or whatever way you prefer) but issues are not to be addressed with passive aggressive comments to a child.
first off I was super shocked this dcm said this, but then again, not really.I would mention it. letting mom know that because you do group care, all the kids are required to learn self help skills. she is welcome to stay for a minute and take his shoes off if it is that big of a deal for her but it is not something you will be doing. He is required to handle all his own personal belongings (shoes, hat, jacket, etc) just like its required at other preschools and certainly in kindergarten. Further, you dont appreciate her voicing that because you require him to show that he is a big boy, that that means you are in a "bad mood". The comment was disrespectful. If she has a question about requirements at your preschool/daycare, she is welcome to discuss it by phone after hours (or whatever way you prefer) but issues are not to be addressed with passive aggressive comments to a child.
I just bit my tongue, because I know my brain was not working too well at that time in the morning and I more than likely would have said the wrong thing.
Heidi 01:59 PM 01-30-2013
nope..I'm mean too!
I have a dear daycare parent that takes almost 3 yo' stuff off every morning. I never help him, except to get the zipper on his big coat or one pair of his shoes.
When we come in from outside, he is usually the FIRST one done, and then helps one of his younger friends with his stuff. It's sooo cute!
Yet, the next morning, there's mom, helping him...
Oh well, he is her baby. He's not potty trained for the same reason.
I have a dear daycare parent that takes almost 3 yo' stuff off every morning. I never help him, except to get the zipper on his big coat or one pair of his shoes.
When we come in from outside, he is usually the FIRST one done, and then helps one of his younger friends with his stuff. It's sooo cute!
Yet, the next morning, there's mom, helping him...
Oh well, he is her baby. He's not potty trained for the same reason.
thatdivalady 02:00 PM 01-30-2013
I'm still working on toning my attitude down when parents get passive aggressive like that! My reply would have been a light chuckle and then a polite, "I'm actually in a fantastic mood, but little _________ has shown me how much of a big boy he is everyday by _________________!"
grandmom 02:01 PM 01-30-2013
An email or conversation with this mom is essential.
My bigger concern is how she disrespected you in front of her son. She needs to be confronted.
And she needs to be told that she is not to take off the kid's shoes if that is your expectation.
Ohmygosh.
My bigger concern is how she disrespected you in front of her son. She needs to be confronted.
And she needs to be told that she is not to take off the kid's shoes if that is your expectation.
Ohmygosh.
Country Kids 02:01 PM 01-30-2013
This is what we are learning they need to know/be able to do to enter kindergarten:
Ability to follow structured daily routines.
• Ability to dress independently.
• Ability to work independently with supervision.
• Ability to listen and pay attention to what someone
else is saying.
• Ability to get along with and cooperate with other
children.
• Ability to play with other children.
• Ability to follow simple rules.
• Ability to work with puzzles, scissors, coloring, paints,
etc.
• Ability to write their own name or to acquire the skill
with instruction.
• Ability to count or acquire the skill with instruction.
• Ability to recite the alphabet (or quickly learn with
instruction).
• Ability to identify both shapes and colors.
• Ability to identify sound units in words and to
recognize rhyme.
Its been a very interesting series!
Ability to follow structured daily routines.
• Ability to dress independently.
• Ability to work independently with supervision.
• Ability to listen and pay attention to what someone
else is saying.
• Ability to get along with and cooperate with other
children.
• Ability to play with other children.
• Ability to follow simple rules.
• Ability to work with puzzles, scissors, coloring, paints,
etc.
• Ability to write their own name or to acquire the skill
with instruction.
• Ability to count or acquire the skill with instruction.
• Ability to recite the alphabet (or quickly learn with
instruction).
• Ability to identify both shapes and colors.
• Ability to identify sound units in words and to
recognize rhyme.
Its been a very interesting series!
CedarCreek 02:08 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by thatdivalady:
I'm still working on toning my attitude down when parents get passive aggressive like that! My reply would have been a light chuckle and then a polite, "I'm actually in a fantastic mood, but little _________ has shown me how much of a big boy he is everyday by _________________!"
I would have said this. I can't believe how rude she was! That was really uncalled for. I guess i'm mean too,I make them start doing things for themselves at about 18 months! Just small things like putting toys away or starting to feed themselves with utensils and then work their way up.I'm still working on toning my attitude down when parents get passive aggressive like that! My reply would have been a light chuckle and then a polite, "I'm actually in a fantastic mood, but little _________ has shown me how much of a big boy he is everyday by _________________!"
daycare 02:14 PM 01-30-2013
glad that I am not the only one here who feels this way.
I will be addressing this with mom at pick up today. hopefully she will be open to listen and understand that unless there is some physical reason why DCK can't do it himself, then I expect him to do it while he is here and she needs to respect our rules.
The parents all have a full list of everything we do here, along with what they can expect their child to learn from my program....self help skills is #1
I will be addressing this with mom at pick up today. hopefully she will be open to listen and understand that unless there is some physical reason why DCK can't do it himself, then I expect him to do it while he is here and she needs to respect our rules.
The parents all have a full list of everything we do here, along with what they can expect their child to learn from my program....self help skills is #1
itlw8 02:30 PM 01-30-2013
You were right not correcting dcm in front of dcb this morning and I agree you need to say something to her about being disrespectful and not letting dcb grow up.
countrymom 02:32 PM 01-30-2013
acually I don't mind doing some stuff for the kids every once in a while. I've taken shoes off for kids who are capable or helped them with a zipper, but I do expect the kids to do most of it themselves.
I had a mom who did everything for her son. So when he was in grade 1, the teacher was constantly complaining how he can't dress themselves, so mom was getting mad. Now mom knows that this was an issue with me too he just didn't know how to do anything himself. And mom excuse was that it was faster and easier if she just did it.
in kindy, on their report card it acually discusses basic things like handwashing and dressing themselves and they are marked on it. Its amazing how many can't even wash their hands properly.
I had a mom who did everything for her son. So when he was in grade 1, the teacher was constantly complaining how he can't dress themselves, so mom was getting mad. Now mom knows that this was an issue with me too he just didn't know how to do anything himself. And mom excuse was that it was faster and easier if she just did it.
in kindy, on their report card it acually discusses basic things like handwashing and dressing themselves and they are marked on it. Its amazing how many can't even wash their hands properly.
Starburst 02:33 PM 01-30-2013
"Dear DCFs,
This is a friendly reminder to all my families that my daycare is a preschool school emphized program. My goal is to teach children to become more self-relient and self-regulated to prepare them for kindergarten. As a general rule around age 3 (unless your child is diagnosed by a doctor with special needs*), I try to focus on teaching them self-help skills such as but not limited to:
* Putting on or taking off own shoes and coats when arriving or departing
* Washing own hands
* Asking to be excused from the table
* Able to work or play independently
* Pick up after themselves
* Help put toys away
* Participate regularly in both group and solo activites, projects, and assignments
* Follow simple directions.
While this is all a learning process, once I have seen children do these tasks multiple times I will enforce these rules and expect them to do these independently on a regular bases. I also expect that you respect the rules and expectations of my daycare when you and your children are in my home. Though you are not required to follow these rules at home, I encourage you to try to work on these at home as it does help the child learn these skills faster helping them become more prepared for school.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Sincerly, DC Provider."
* If you use the special needs part: The "doctor diagnosis" part is important become some parts think that "Oh, my child is special to me. Therefore, they have special requirements, so they are special needs!" or they will come up with a lame excuse why their child is not able to (or should not) do these tasks.
This is a friendly reminder to all my families that my daycare is a preschool school emphized program. My goal is to teach children to become more self-relient and self-regulated to prepare them for kindergarten. As a general rule around age 3 (unless your child is diagnosed by a doctor with special needs*), I try to focus on teaching them self-help skills such as but not limited to:
* Putting on or taking off own shoes and coats when arriving or departing
* Washing own hands
* Asking to be excused from the table
* Able to work or play independently
* Pick up after themselves
* Help put toys away
* Participate regularly in both group and solo activites, projects, and assignments
* Follow simple directions.
While this is all a learning process, once I have seen children do these tasks multiple times I will enforce these rules and expect them to do these independently on a regular bases. I also expect that you respect the rules and expectations of my daycare when you and your children are in my home. Though you are not required to follow these rules at home, I encourage you to try to work on these at home as it does help the child learn these skills faster helping them become more prepared for school.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Sincerly, DC Provider."
* If you use the special needs part: The "doctor diagnosis" part is important become some parts think that "Oh, my child is special to me. Therefore, they have special requirements, so they are special needs!" or they will come up with a lame excuse why their child is not able to (or should not) do these tasks.
daycare 02:39 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
"Dear DCFs,
This is a friendly reminder to all my families that my daycare is a preschool school emphized program. My goal is to teach children to become more self-relient and self-regulated to prepare them for kindergarten. As a general rule around age 3 (unless your child is diagnosed by a doctor with special needs*), I try to focus on teaching them self-help skills such as but not limited to:
* Putting on or taking off own shoes and coats when arriving or departing
* Washing own hands
* Asking to be excused from the table
* Able to work or play independently
* Pick up after themselves
* Help put toys away
* Participate regularly in both group and solo activites, projects, and assignments
* Follow simple directions.
While this is all a learning process, once I have seen children do these tasks multiple times I will enforce these rules and expect them to do these independently on a regular bases. I also expect that you respect the rules and expectations of my daycare when you and your children are in my home. Though you are not required to follow these rules at home, I encourage you to try to work on these at home as it does help the child learn these skills faster helping them become more prepared for school.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Sincerly, DC Provider."
* If you use the special needs part: The "doctor diagnosis" part is important become some parts think that "Oh, my child is special to me. Therefore, they have special requirements, so they are special needs!" or they will come up with a lame excuse why their child is not able to (or should not) do these tasks.
I do all of this, but I start at 20months, not age 3. At 20 month, I start teaching them how to do everything. ALL of my DCKs at 20 months learn to put shoes on without assistance, of course depending on the shoes the parents send in and jackets. I would say that around age 2, they will then start to master pants, shirts and etc. Every day we play games during circle time to see who can put their shoes on the fastest, jacket with snaps, or buttons of some kind. Winner gets a sticker everyone else gets a stamp. The kids love doing this."Dear DCFs,
This is a friendly reminder to all my families that my daycare is a preschool school emphized program. My goal is to teach children to become more self-relient and self-regulated to prepare them for kindergarten. As a general rule around age 3 (unless your child is diagnosed by a doctor with special needs*), I try to focus on teaching them self-help skills such as but not limited to:
* Putting on or taking off own shoes and coats when arriving or departing
* Washing own hands
* Asking to be excused from the table
* Able to work or play independently
* Pick up after themselves
* Help put toys away
* Participate regularly in both group and solo activites, projects, and assignments
* Follow simple directions.
While this is all a learning process, once I have seen children do these tasks multiple times I will enforce these rules and expect them to do these independently on a regular bases. I also expect that you respect the rules and expectations of my daycare when you and your children are in my home. Though you are not required to follow these rules at home, I encourage you to try to work on these at home as it does help the child learn these skills faster helping them become more prepared for school.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Sincerly, DC Provider."
* If you use the special needs part: The "doctor diagnosis" part is important become some parts think that "Oh, my child is special to me. Therefore, they have special requirements, so they are special needs!" or they will come up with a lame excuse why their child is not able to (or should not) do these tasks.
I tell parents that I do understand that sometimes they have to do it for them, because they may be running late or for whatever reason, but that when they are here, it's time to let them shine!!!!
BTW I have no clue why this came out red on your post>???
Starburst 02:49 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I do all of this, but I start at 20months, not age 3. At 20 month, I start teaching them how to do everything. ALL of my DCKs at 20 months learn to put shoes on without assistance, of course depending on the shoes the parents send in and jackets. I would say that around age 2, they will then start to master pants, shirts and etc. Every day we play games during circle time to see who can put their shoes on the fastest, jacket with snaps, or buttons of some kind. Winner gets a sticker everyone else gets a stamp. The kids love doing this.
I tell parents that I do understand that sometimes they have to do it for them, because they may be running late or for whatever reason, but that when they are here, it's time to let them shine!!!!
BTW I have no clue why this came out red on your post>???
The red part is a side note to the astrisk. It was just an example since 3 is normally when they start preschool (but some do start at 2 or 2 1/2); You can have different things that you have for every age group. It was just focusing on these and by the time they are 3 years old you expect them to have mastered most (if not all) of these skills. The note is just ment as a reminder (or a subtle hint) of what you expect from their children and them. Sometimes parents forget rules or lession plans and don't remember. Also sometimes they don't understand that there is a reason for these rules and lessions- as one of my teachers would say: "There is a method to my madness!" (meaing "theres a reason for my rules/lession plan that may not make sense to you now").I do all of this, but I start at 20months, not age 3. At 20 month, I start teaching them how to do everything. ALL of my DCKs at 20 months learn to put shoes on without assistance, of course depending on the shoes the parents send in and jackets. I would say that around age 2, they will then start to master pants, shirts and etc. Every day we play games during circle time to see who can put their shoes on the fastest, jacket with snaps, or buttons of some kind. Winner gets a sticker everyone else gets a stamp. The kids love doing this.
I tell parents that I do understand that sometimes they have to do it for them, because they may be running late or for whatever reason, but that when they are here, it's time to let them shine!!!!
BTW I have no clue why this came out red on your post>???
daycare 02:55 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
The red part is a side note to the astrisk. It was just an example since 3 is normally when they start preschool (but some do start at 2 or 2 1/2); You can have different things that you have for every age group. It was just focusing on these and by the time they are 3 years old you expect them to have mastered most (if not all) of these skills. The note is just ment as a reminder (or a subtle hint) of what you expect from their children and them. Sometimes parents forget rules or lession plans and don't remember. Also sometimes they don't understand that there is a reason for these rules and lessions- as one of my teachers would say: "There is a method to my madness!" (meaing "theres a reason for my rules/lession plan that may not make sense to you now").
got it...lol sorry I thought that I did something to make your post turn red.....hahah Im out there today....The red part is a side note to the astrisk. It was just an example since 3 is normally when they start preschool (but some do start at 2 or 2 1/2); You can have different things that you have for every age group. It was just focusing on these and by the time they are 3 years old you expect them to have mastered most (if not all) of these skills. The note is just ment as a reminder (or a subtle hint) of what you expect from their children and them. Sometimes parents forget rules or lession plans and don't remember. Also sometimes they don't understand that there is a reason for these rules and lessions- as one of my teachers would say: "There is a method to my madness!" (meaing "theres a reason for my rules/lession plan that may not make sense to you now").
jokalima 03:05 PM 01-30-2013
Oh wow! Can't believe what I read, DCM said what?
I have a 2.5 yr old that I have him put his own shoes one, I let them do as much as they can by themselves, if I see they really need my help then I will help, but I don't feed them since a little after they were able to grab the spoon, this has helped my own child so much, he feeds himself so good and other kids don't so I ask parents and they say "We feed him because of the mess"
I don't think teaching them to be independent is being mean.
I have a 2.5 yr old that I have him put his own shoes one, I let them do as much as they can by themselves, if I see they really need my help then I will help, but I don't feed them since a little after they were able to grab the spoon, this has helped my own child so much, he feeds himself so good and other kids don't so I ask parents and they say "We feed him because of the mess"
I don't think teaching them to be independent is being mean.
daycare 03:09 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by jokalima:
Oh wow! Can't believe what I read, DCM said what?
I have a 2.5 yr old that I have him put his own shoes one, I let them do as much as they can by themselves, if I see they really need my help then I will help, but I don't feed them since a little after they were able to grab the spoon, this has helped my own child so much, he feeds himself so good and other kids don't so I ask parents and they say "We feed him because of the mess" I don't think teaching them to be independent is being mean.
I have a 3 year old that his parents feed him at home. The parents just told me this the other day. DCM said btw can I ask you a question and I say sure. She said our son told us that you feed him every day at meals times, is that true? I laughed and said sorry that is not true. I said could you imagine if I had to feed 12 kids everyday? Oh wow! Can't believe what I read, DCM said what?
I have a 2.5 yr old that I have him put his own shoes one, I let them do as much as they can by themselves, if I see they really need my help then I will help, but I don't feed them since a little after they were able to grab the spoon, this has helped my own child so much, he feeds himself so good and other kids don't so I ask parents and they say "We feed him because of the mess"
I don't think teaching them to be independent is being mean.She laughed and said oh that little boogar told us you feed him everyday during meals so we were doing it too. They said he won't eat if they don't.
I said well I don't mean to sound rude, but I think your wrong about that. If you stop he will have no choice but to do it himself. She did agree...
snbauser 04:06 PM 01-30-2013
If you are mean, then I am too. I make them try. When they can do it, I don't do it. I have had children not be allowed to play outside with us becaue they refuse to put their shoes on. There are always parents who just automatically put their kids shoes on or take them off. I will usually start with "you know little timmy can put his own shoes on by himself?" Most of the time I get the "really? He has been pulling my leg then." But if I see them continuously do it I will actually have the child put their shoes on before the parent arrives. At drop off I usually don't give them a chance to take them off. I will tell the child to say goodbye and give a kiss and a hug. Then when parents leave I tell them to take their shoes off. Saves time and tantrums.
snbauser 04:07 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have a 3 year old that his parents feed him at home. The parents just told me this the other day. DCM said btw can I ask you a question and I say sure. She said our son told us that you feed him every day at meals times, is that true? I laughed and said sorry that is not true. I said could you imagine if I had to feed 12 kids everyday?
She laughed and said oh that little boogar told us you feed him everyday during meals so we were doing it too. They said he won't eat if they don't.
I said well I don't mean to sound rude, but I think your wrong about that. If you stop he will have no choice but to do it himself. She did agree...
I have a 3 year old that his parents feed him at home. The parents just told me this the other day. DCM said btw can I ask you a question and I say sure. She said our son told us that you feed him every day at meals times, is that true? I laughed and said sorry that is not true. I said could you imagine if I had to feed 12 kids everyday?
She laughed and said oh that little boogar told us you feed him everyday during meals so we were doing it too. They said he won't eat if they don't.
I said well I don't mean to sound rude, but I think your wrong about that. If you stop he will have no choice but to do it himself. She did agree...
LOL!! I had a 3 year old who used to eat sooooo slow and look almost painful when they were chewing. Came to find out that mom was still pureeing his food and feeding him because it was faster and less of a mess. Needless to say we had to have a long talk about age and developmental appropriateness.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:49 PM 01-30-2013
The two year olds in my program can take off and put on their shoes by themselves but some parents take off their FOUR YEAR OLDS shoes every single day. I now ignore it. I got tired of saying something. If they ever directed it at me I would say, "You are such a big boy/girl, you can do it yourself!"I had a child throw a tantrum because they wanted ME to put their backpack in their cubby. Their parent put them in time out. LOL!
LaLa1923 06:11 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
This is what we are learning they need to know/be able to do to enter kindergarten:
Ability to follow structured daily routines.
• Ability to dress independently.
• Ability to work independently with supervision.
• Ability to listen and pay attention to what someone
else is saying.
• Ability to get along with and cooperate with other
children.
• Ability to play with other children.
• Ability to follow simple rules.
• Ability to work with puzzles, scissors, coloring, paints,
etc.
• Ability to write their own name or to acquire the skill
with instruction.
• Ability to count or acquire the skill with instruction.
• Ability to recite the alphabet (or quickly learn with
instruction).
• Ability to identify both shapes and colors.
• Ability to identify sound units in words and to
recognize rhyme.
Its been a very interesting series!
Do you use a curriculum?This is what we are learning they need to know/be able to do to enter kindergarten:
Ability to follow structured daily routines.
• Ability to dress independently.
• Ability to work independently with supervision.
• Ability to listen and pay attention to what someone
else is saying.
• Ability to get along with and cooperate with other
children.
• Ability to play with other children.
• Ability to follow simple rules.
• Ability to work with puzzles, scissors, coloring, paints,
etc.
• Ability to write their own name or to acquire the skill
with instruction.
• Ability to count or acquire the skill with instruction.
• Ability to recite the alphabet (or quickly learn with
instruction).
• Ability to identify both shapes and colors.
• Ability to identify sound units in words and to
recognize rhyme.
Its been a very interesting series!
LaLa1923 06:13 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
glad that I am not the only one here who feels this way.
I will be addressing this with mom at pick up today. hopefully she will be open to listen and understand that unless there is some physical reason why DCK can't do it himself, then I expect him to do it while he is here and she needs to respect our rules.
The parents all have a full list of everything we do here, along with what they can expect their child to learn from my program....self help skills is #1
Would you mind sharing this?glad that I am not the only one here who feels this way.
I will be addressing this with mom at pick up today. hopefully she will be open to listen and understand that unless there is some physical reason why DCK can't do it himself, then I expect him to do it while he is here and she needs to respect our rules.
The parents all have a full list of everything we do here, along with what they can expect their child to learn from my program....self help skills is #1
MNMum 07:11 PM 01-30-2013
I'm even meaner...once they have mastered their skills I expect them to "teach" the littles and help out getting boots/mittens/hats on the toddlers. It actually gives my preschoolers more confidence and they love sharing their skills.
daycarediva 08:16 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
The two year olds in my program can take off and put on their shoes by themselves but some parents take off their FOUR YEAR OLDS shoes every single day. I now ignore it. I got tired of saying something. If they ever directed it at me I would say, "You are such a big boy/girl, you can do it yourself!"
I have a 4 year old who has his parents TRAINED. They do shoes, hat, coat, gloves as well. They also CARRY HIM (or put him in the stroller). The child RARELY WALKS. It's ridiculous. He also starts whining/baby talking the second his parent(s) walk in. I tried ONCE to get him to show them how big he is here, it was disastrous and dcm kept trying to assist him/take and dcb kept looking between me & Mom & started throwing a fit. Here he is potty trained, can wipe himself, can completely dress himself including getting shirts untangled/inside out, put shoes on, zipper when started (and tries to zipper by himself) snaps, and can button. I want to start teaching him to tie shoes for goodness sake! The two year olds in my program can take off and put on their shoes by themselves but some parents take off their FOUR YEAR OLDS shoes every single day. I now ignore it. I got tired of saying something. If they ever directed it at me I would say, "You are such a big boy/girl, you can do it yourself!"
My3cents 04:16 AM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
At my daycare, we are run more like a preschool with extended daycare hours.
My main focus for all of the children is self help skills. I only take children 20 months to 5 years of age as long as they are not enrolled in school.
I start working with the kids the minute they enroll all about self help. Everything from putting on shoes, to self feeding using proper fork,spoon, etc.
ONce the kids show me that they can do something, I then expect them to do it themselves. For example if they show me they can put their own shoes on, then I will not do it for them when they are here.
This morning I had a child age 3.5 come in and refused to take off his own shoes, threw his legs out towards me and said, MIss _____ take my shoes off. I smiled and said, my big boys take their own shoes off, just like you do every single day and i walked away back to what I was doing.
Well dcm gets upset and wants to know why I won't help him. She says oh looks like __________ is in a bad mood today and is not being helpful, I will help you. DCM takes off shoes and leaves.
Am I the only one that has these expectations? BTW I was so mad at the DCM this morning, but I bit my tongue and did not mutter a word...
I would have called the Mom out on that. I would have said to her, no I am not in a bad mood. I know that Little Johnny can take off his own shoes and I am trying to reinforce self help skills. If I knew he was not able to do this himself then I would have stepped in and showed him how to do this so that he would be able to do it himself- Then I would have walked away or listened to what she had to say.At my daycare, we are run more like a preschool with extended daycare hours.
My main focus for all of the children is self help skills. I only take children 20 months to 5 years of age as long as they are not enrolled in school.
I start working with the kids the minute they enroll all about self help. Everything from putting on shoes, to self feeding using proper fork,spoon, etc.
ONce the kids show me that they can do something, I then expect them to do it themselves. For example if they show me they can put their own shoes on, then I will not do it for them when they are here.
This morning I had a child age 3.5 come in and refused to take off his own shoes, threw his legs out towards me and said, MIss _____ take my shoes off. I smiled and said, my big boys take their own shoes off, just like you do every single day and i walked away back to what I was doing.
Well dcm gets upset and wants to know why I won't help him. She says oh looks like __________ is in a bad mood today and is not being helpful, I will help you. DCM takes off shoes and leaves.
Am I the only one that has these expectations? BTW I was so mad at the DCM this morning, but I bit my tongue and did not mutter a word...
Sometimes we are just awe struck with what comes out of parents mouths, because we have about fifty million other things going through our heads- Then it hits us, did she really just say that-
I would address it at pick up or maybe a phone call. It is not cool to belittle you in front of a child or the children.
Mom&Provider 05:21 AM 01-31-2013
You said and did nothing wrong at all! It's not as though you degraded the child or were rude in any way!
Right now I'm trying to get my own 3 yo to do some different things on her own too. Shoes to me seems like the first fair step, along with a coat, mitts and hats etc. Going to the potty takes more time, but helping them with easier things will help along the process since once they start to do their own things, they gain confidence in other things and then want to do more for themselves!
I would be having a chat with this DCM and letting her no that showing you disrespect in front of a child in your care is not acceptable. I'd also confirm with her that you had no intensions of coming across as rude or unhelpful, and you do what you do to encourage children to grow and develop - not that you were in a "bad mood".
Right now I'm trying to get my own 3 yo to do some different things on her own too. Shoes to me seems like the first fair step, along with a coat, mitts and hats etc. Going to the potty takes more time, but helping them with easier things will help along the process since once they start to do their own things, they gain confidence in other things and then want to do more for themselves!
I would be having a chat with this DCM and letting her no that showing you disrespect in front of a child in your care is not acceptable. I'd also confirm with her that you had no intensions of coming across as rude or unhelpful, and you do what you do to encourage children to grow and develop - not that you were in a "bad mood".
bunnyslippers 05:47 AM 01-31-2013
As a previous preschool/kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that you are right on in your methods! Those little ones who came to me ready to go, with all those self-help skills learned, were always the ones who were able to jump right in and learn the school skills they needed.
I stress self-help skills in this program. I also make a very big deal out of manners and respect. I take it farther than just please and thankyous, too. We work on holding doors, getting up out of your chair when an adult doesn't have a seat, asking to be excused, saying "bless you" when people sneeze, and greeting people with a smile.
I feel that parents often skip over these self-help skills, not because they are lazy or don't think they are important, but because our world is so hectic and hurried. In our over-scheduled culture, there isn't time to let your child put on his own shoes, because you have to get to your next appointment/activity/job/school, etc. I often stress to parents that if they are feeling rushed, it is better to wake up a few minutes earlier and give everyone in the family a chance to start the day correctly, calmly and peacefully.
As for the rude comment from that mother...well, ignorance is bliss! I would have had a very hard time letting that one slide.
I stress self-help skills in this program. I also make a very big deal out of manners and respect. I take it farther than just please and thankyous, too. We work on holding doors, getting up out of your chair when an adult doesn't have a seat, asking to be excused, saying "bless you" when people sneeze, and greeting people with a smile.
I feel that parents often skip over these self-help skills, not because they are lazy or don't think they are important, but because our world is so hectic and hurried. In our over-scheduled culture, there isn't time to let your child put on his own shoes, because you have to get to your next appointment/activity/job/school, etc. I often stress to parents that if they are feeling rushed, it is better to wake up a few minutes earlier and give everyone in the family a chance to start the day correctly, calmly and peacefully.
As for the rude comment from that mother...well, ignorance is bliss! I would have had a very hard time letting that one slide.
cheerfuldom 06:32 AM 01-31-2013
I think its especially annoying when a big kid is babied.....yet parents complain to the provider about academics. They do want them to be advanced on one hand but stay a baby on the other. You cant have it all folks!!
cheerfuldom 06:33 AM 01-31-2013
and my in laws recently babysat and i found them spoon feeding my 20 month old. she was eating it but kept looking confused.....I dont think she has been spoon fed for a year! poor thing was very confused.
Candy 08:16 AM 01-31-2013
I agree that parents do to much for their kids. I use to watch a little boy who mom dressed him in the morning while he was still sleep up until 3rd grade. He is in middle school now she still cuts his nails and toe nails for him
frugalmama4 08:29 AM 01-31-2013
Some parents just don't get it...
I don't allow parents to pass my threshold, I open the door, say good morning and good bye. All my little people take off shoes, jackets themselves...for my babies same thang parents don't pass my threshold...just pass me the baby and relay any important information.
I don't allow parents to pass my threshold, I open the door, say good morning and good bye. All my little people take off shoes, jackets themselves...for my babies same thang parents don't pass my threshold...just pass me the baby and relay any important information.