It seems all my dcf are taking a week (or two) off without kids. They will still bring their kids to daycare (same time) and go out on daytrips ect for a week or two. Is this pretty much the same for everyone? Does anyone ever take "family vacations anymore?" Times have changed I guess.

Hmmm...I've had parents go on vacation and not take the kids, but not stay in town. Usually they are headed to Mexico or on a cruise or something.

yes it does seem to be the norm nowadays. I have one family who takes one week a year with the kids but they take their days when they want them without kids but never seem to have time to take a day off to take their kids to the dr. like today when they are sick dont' get some parents

My husband and I do 1 week vacation without the kids, and 1 week vacation with the kids. We don't go out often as a couple, so we use the week without to "re-kindle". We do the mommy and daddy vacation before the kids vacation, so when we do the vacay with the kids we are rejuvinated and enjoy our time with them more.

Though with husband working on our farm, and me being a SAHM we get a lot of time with our children as it is. (Alot of times it's doing chores as a family, yard work, garden time etc...but it's still bonding!)

I would love to go on vacation without the kids, but when I had days off of work I did not take the kids to daycare.

Whether is common or not I'm not sure, but I would never go on vacation without my kids, ever, they always went with us every where. Now that they are older and can stay home if they choose not to go it is nice that we have that time alone together.

I have a question. If you are so set against parents who do not spend all of their paid time off with their children, and they disgust you to the point of making a huge issue of it on an open forum, then why do you not terminate those families and enroll ONLY families with the same philosophy of care as you. It's pretty simple really. If you do not like the parent because they tend to be selfish, then why do you still work with them? Honestly, if I had families who took regular days off and always left their child with me, or took regular vacations without their child and their child NEVER got a family vacation, I would tell the parent how I felt and let the chips fall where they may. Of course, I don't have families like this and I can be very open, honest and forthcoming with my families when there is a REAL issue, I guess I have been very lucky, because I just don't have these types of issues.

Now, I am NOT saying that parents SHOULD spend their vacation time without their children....(I would never do that sort of thing, my kids have been on a minimum of three family vacations per year with me and my husband since they were very small, and they have seen many parts of our great country and me and hubby have been away for the weekend three times in 19 years without the kids.) BUT, as I have said before, these are not OUR children, and we don't live in their households to realize WHY parents may need that time away, (it could be many things, stress being one of them) so honestly, it's none of our business. Our business is to provide a quality, loving environment AWAY from the child's home and parent, not to mind the business of the parents or to be the parent.

Hahaha...where is Nannyde?? Because she had a GREAT response to this very question!

Do you REALLY think that all your parents are actually TELLING you that they are off when they ARE OFF?? Heck no! I can tell you that half the time a parent is off work but brings their child to daycare they don't utter a single word to me about being off. But I have EYES and I have a CLOCK and I can see what they are wearing and what time they arrived. Both of those things are NOT conducive to them arriving on time to work or being dressed for it!

I'm just gonna say it...I really do NOT believe you. I don't believe that you really have 100% of your parents who are so freaking great that they never would ever even think of spending a day off let alone a week without their kids. I don't believe it.

I think YOU believe it. I think YOU think they are not doing this. But I think they have you fooled. They ARE taking time off - they are just lying about it either openly or by omission. Either that or you are NOT charging them for days their child does not attend. Because THEN they have incentive for staying home with them - money savings!

I find it odd that forum after forum after forum and providers who I know in person CONSTANTLY battle this dilemma and ethical debate but here , only on daycare.com we find an anomaly of providers who simply do not EVER have that problem and have super, duper, great, fantastic PERFECT daycare parents.

Something does not add up.

Just because you have not seen/experienced those parental types does not mean they don't exist, here or elsewhere

I'm not saying they don't exist. I have some great daycare parents. But I don't believe it when I see a provider say she has NONE of "those" parents and has never had one of "those" parents.

hahaha! well, your opininion matters SO much to me

I never said my families never take a day off and leave their kids with me. certainly they do, and they do tell me about it. I said they do not go on vacations without their children. Personally, I do not care if they bring their kids when they take a day off. I have a MOm who is off every thursday, and half of those thursdays her son is here with me while she does her grocery shopping, goes to the doctor, gets her hair done, etc. ALL stuff that her kid would not like having to be dragged along for. she also picks up early on thursdays, as soon as she's done with her "stuff" If she feels that this makes her a better mom, because rather than getting frustrated with a whiny child who doesn't want to run errands, resulting in herbeing crabby to her kid, she takes care of business, picks him up and then can spend HAPPY time with her child. I'm fine with it. I had also a MOm recently who went river rafting on a Tuesday and her kids were with me. It was her b-day, she has always wanted to raft and her kids are too small, I kept her kids, told her happy b-day and have a great time. wah, wah, wah, I had to care for her kids while she had a little fun, boo-fricken-hoo.

On the other hand, I had a mom call in sick yesterday so she could spend the day at the state fair with her kids.

And, I could say that I don't believe YOU would never take a day off and leave your kids in daycare while you take care of stuff that the kids would not enjoy, but I don't call people LIARS without facts to prove that they are.

Just because a parent takes a day off doesn't mean they are out having fun or being pampered. they are handling behind the scenes life stuff that is much easier to accomplish solo than with kids in tow. And, sometimes they are being pampered....good for them, we should ALL take time to be pampered and enjoy our time alone, it's good for us.

I know that this was directed at Judy, but I do have to say Judy and I are so alike, we could be sisters. So, I certainly would NOT take a day off and leave my child(ren) in daycare. I could never deal with the guilt of it. Actually, approximately 20 years ago a babysitter sexually abused a 3 year old family member of mine. Since then, NO ONE other than family (and the church nursery during church services) is EVER allowed to watch any child in my family. So, I can honestly and unequivocally say that NO, I would not leave my child in daycare for ANY time that was not absolutely necessary. Heck, I wouldn't even leave her (or them) in the care of someone other than daddy unless it was absolutely necessary. But I guess it's very hard to believe that there are people that take parenting THAT seriously these days.

As for doing things outside work with children in tow. There are only a few things I would not do with DD in tow (unless I absolutely had no one to take her) - go to court or go to the hospital. That's the only 2 places I can think of right now. Every other place is a possible child tag-along, even the fancy restraunt DH and I like to go to for our "date" nights. She's been there everytime we have been there since she was born. She always goes on errands with me unless she stays with dad. She spends approximately 1-3 hours a MONTH away from mom AND dad, in the care of some other family member. But I guess it really is hard to believe that people like Judy and I actually exist in 2010. Call me old-fashioned and I will blush from the compliment! At least I know my grandma would be proud of me as a mother, if she were still alive.

As for pampering, I get that in too - when dad or grandma can babysit. And it's maybe 3 times a year. So, I guess my philosophy is God first, parenting second, marriage third, pampering and me time fourth. It's perfectly alright with me if you or anyone else has a different philosophy. I don't think you're a terrible person if you do. Different philosophies are what make us unique.

professionalmom, it certainly was not directed at you....I do have a great amount of respect for you and I KNOW you spend most waking hours with your DD and will with the twins as well.

My point was, we ALL take some time without our children......even you say that dad or grandma "babysits" for you from time to time.

I do not think it's okay for parents to spend ALL of their time off without their children. I certainly think that they should be spending the vast majority of their time off with their children. But, we all have things we HAVE to do or that are much easier - for ourselves and for our children - without the children in tow. Some parents have ONLY their daycare provider that they can leave their child with....not everyone has the luxury of a nearby relative or even a father in the household, that can care for their children while they tend to those things.

As far as going on week-long vacations without their children, I had never even realized that this was an issue for providers because I have NEVER had a parent take a weeklong vacation without their children. I am pretty sure I would know if they did, as someone else would be bringing their children to daycare. And, of the MANY providers I know, not one has ever complained about this being an issue.

I could see this being an issue, if every single time a parent has an extra hour or two, they use every minute of it for themselves, but I am not seeing that with my families.

ProMom, you just keep doing what you're doing for your family....you ARE a great Mom, and I know that YOU have truly always had your dck best interests at heart.

Sorry to hear about what happened to your family member...but molestation occurs within families too you know.

Crystal

If a parent who is off every Thursday brings her kid every other Thursday that is two days a month where she is brining the kid to day care when she isn't working.

Two days a month equals 24 days a year. 24 days a year is equal to a full calander working month. She is sending him to day care for a month a year when she isn't working.

THIS is what I'm talking about. I don't care if she picks up early or not. That is a HUGE amount of time.

You don't get it. You really don't.

I would NEVER have my kid in day care for 24 days a year when I wasn't working. I think that's shameful. I don't care what she has to do... what she wants to do.. how you guys all think she's a better parent if she can "get things done that the kid wouldn't like to tag along to". Sorry but if I had that amount of time off I would have less things to do. I'd make sure I figured out a way to take my kid with me on my "errands" and have him LOVE it.

And if she is off every Thursday when is she working? Does she work on the weekends? Does she do long days four days a week. PLEASE tell me she is just a part time employee.

I have NEVER been on a trip without my kid in his entire ten years. I have taken him all over the world MANY times WITH me. I wouldn't dream of spending precious family time away from him. He's my baby and I want him to have the life experience of travel. I want him to just have "ME" without me having to do anything but HIM.

We are fortunate enough to afford extensive travel. Even during times when we couldn't afford to I still spent the entire vacation with my baby. Spending days off and vacation time with your kids is about doing the day to day... one after another... where they have a completely different life. It's the bonding that comes with consequtive uninterupted time with their parents.

I get 18 days off a year plus the weekends. I spend every day with my son. He's mine. He's my baby. I love him more than anything in the world and there is NOTHING more important to me then spending the precious little time I have off with my kid.

We need to stop making excuses about parents shunning their kids. We need to promote that they need TIME with their parents. It's okay if they run errands. It's okay if they go to the Doctor. It's okay if they go to the Lawyer. It's okay for them to be out of their routine. It's okay for them to not be with their "friends".

I've never met a full time day care kid who would rather be in day care than be with their parents even if it means grocery shopping, getting nails done, going to the Dr. etc. Kids want to be WITH their parents. It's providers like you and parents like her that are making society think this is okay and "really" for the best interest of the kid.

You are making it sounds like it somehow funnels down to being better for the kid and it's not.

Sweet Jesus...here we go again. YES...we do have super, duper, great, fantastic families. You have crappy ones which is evident by your posts. Again, if my families take a day off and send their kids to daycare to get some errands done (most have 2-4 kids) then so be it. As long as I get my money and am doing MY job then it's none of my business. It's no different than a teacher taking a personal day or whatnot. Do you want to take your kids to your OB appointment when you're up on a table legs spread open? You really want your 2 year old in the room for that?

lol! So you know, though, she was talking to me! Her and nanny simply cannot believe that I actually love my work and my families. (of course I'm a liar so you may not wanna believe me either) seems they are a bit bitter.

FYI: I am in TOTAL agreement with you on all counts in this thread.

Oh I knew! I wanted all to know that our daycare has great families too!

Ah hah! See? That is the difference. YOU don't care if they take the day off and leave their kids in care. So, they DO do it!

Well, I DO care! I care, not for me, but for those kids. Yes, I care. Gasp.....

Oh and Crystal....yes, I DO have parents who actually have a combined 14 weeks off a year whose children spent FOUR years in my care and NEVER once had a day off with their parents. Really and truly. Sad, sad, sad.

Well, I'm going off for my long weekend now. I can't be bothered to bang my head against the wall anymore "talking" to those who have sunshine and rainbows shooting out their asses without a shred of reality.

Good God!

Of course, your fragile egos will assume you "won". Whatever.

In the end it's the kids that lose because not enough people care to CARE about their problem - being dumped in daycare when it is not necessary. Congratulations - you just added to the problem.

WRONG AGAIN! Who the heck are you? Do you live in my house? Do you attend my daycare? Didn't think so. Enough said.

Keep banging your head on that wall sweetie!! And I think you are referring to yourself.

Also, no need to start swearing here. Just shows who you really are.

Wow. I love this. So if I'm getting paid, and doing my job, that's where it ends? Well, I was under the impression that I'm a mandated reporter and I take that to mean that what happens to these children outside my home IS my business. So it's not like we punch a time clock and when we're off, we're off. And when a parent is constantly looking for excuses to avoid being with their kids (again, NOT the occasional date night, overnight at grandma's and such) ALL the time, EVERY week, then I do think they are pushing the limit. Although it is not reportable as neglect, it is questionable and would raise red flags in my book, causing me to watch that child a little more closely for signs of neglect or abuse.

Just because someone PAYS me, does not mean I will overlook the damage and pain they are causing.

I just wonder how far this "it's none of my business" goes in your book (and in the books of the others who have used the same logic). At what point do you think it BECOMES your business? You are acting as a surrogate parent to these children. They need you to speak for them when they are hurt or in pain, whether it's physical, sexual, neglect, or emotional.

You may think I am over reaching here, but it is scary when daycare providers (a.k.a. mandated reporters) say, "As long as I get my money and am doing MY job then it's none of my business." Don't you care about the emotional and psychological well-being of these children, as well as their physical and sexually well-being? Don't you care about how EXTRA, UNNECESSARY time away from the parents is damaging these children? And you think it's "none of your business"? I don't get it. And I don't think I could ever be that clinical about the care of children.

Have you been reading my posts? The families that we have currently enrolled DO NOT DUMP THEIR KIDS when they are off of work! I don't care what Judy says that they are telling me lies about where they are. SHE DOES NOT KNOW MY FRIENDS! Plain and simple. I'm mandated to report issues of sexual abuse, physical abuse and such. If a parent wants to get away or get their freaking hair cut when their child is in my care I'm supposed to report this? Really? If I called my licensing consultant to tell her that one of my DCGs parents went to Mexico without her...she'd laugh at me. Seriously...c'mon. Really? I really don't know how you guys think that you just know so much about MY families.

I have a question. If you are so set against parents who do not spend all of their paid time off with their children, and they disgust you to the point of making a huge issue of it on an open forum, then why do you not terminate those families and enroll ONLY families with the same philosophy of care as you.

Here I'll answer it for you. I had a policy for about the first 14 years I did day care that I would not care for children when their parents weren't working. I interviewed each parent and they signed a contract saying they would not bring their kid if they weren't working.

They willingly signed it... parent after parent. Why? Because the vast majority of kids I took into my day care were newborns. When Mom is home with a baby for six weeks... eight weeks... twelve weeks.. they are still madly in love with their baby. They've had time when they didn't have to work and could devote their all to their kids. Most were upset at having to go back to work. They couldn't even IMAGINE having their kid in day care a minute longer than they HAD to.

They all cried on the first day... second day... sometimes for three or four days. After a few weeks in care their lives change. They are back in the real world and they see how much easier it is to not have their kid. They get back into the groove of having to work for someone and for the first time have to balance being a worker and a parent. It's way harder to do it then when you are home for the first few months... being able to nap... being able to get stuff done... being able to have family help... friends over... then BAM into the real world.

For the first few months they are pretty good about it. Then the kid starts to crawl. As soon as the kid is mobile everything changes. As soon as it's HARD to care for them... hard to get stuff done... hard to pull them in and out of a carseat...way less napping and when they get napping it's almost always cat napping.. WAY more awake time... THAT'S when the mindset starts to creep in that they will just do a little of this and a little of that before they pick the kid up. They will go to this appointment without the kid... cuz it's "better" for the kid if they just stay in their routine and not be disrupted.

Once the kid starts crawling and then walking you get a lot less offers of assistance. People who were all about helping you now have stuff to do. Now they know your kid staying with them is going to be work. If you have a kid who has to be held, walked, rocked in order to be happy you will have few offers to help you out.

So.. the out is day care. That's the one place you can take them and have time off. It starts with a little bit of running here and there and a few months later it's all day every day you have off. Instead of using an occasional time where the hours are extended either before or after day care... those occasional turn into EVERY day. Those odd hours are THE hours your kid is in care.

As the kid gets older it gets even harder. With the current discipline methods being so limited and ineffective you have parents who can't see to do anything but let the kid rule. The more the kid rules the less the parents like being around them.

Now... you can't see this when you are interviewing a Mom with a few weeks of parenting under her belt. You can't determine their "philosophy" because what they know about caring for their kid is SO limited and NOT based on hard. They have all sorts of ideas about how they will do this and they wouldn't even CONSIDER having the kid away from them if they didn't HAVE to but the truth is the parent they see when they look in the mirror when they are newbie parent RARELY reflects the parent they will see a year from now.

You can tell a LOT more about parents when they have some time under their belts. I don't take kids this age anymore as all my kids come in as newborns/infants. I quit offering slots to older kids because I couldn't find older kids who didn't come to me with a huge host of behavior problems. The parenting philosophy I see is for the most part not good. Now and then a good one would come along but you have a LOT better chance of integrating a baby into your care regardless of the parents "philosophy" because you have them young and without a ton of bad habits.

I think you are doing a HUGE disservice to providers to suggest you have some formula, experience, draw, or judgment that can weed out parents who shun their kids when they are off of work. I don't believe it. I don't believe it one bit. I know from your writings that it's not true. I think you have decided that it's okay for them to do it because you KNOW you can't stay in business if you don't allow it.

I'm right there with ya on that. I had the policy for 14 years that I didn't allow kids in day care if the parent wasn't working and all I got was 14 years of deceit. I had some that abided by it I think.. but I can never really know. I finally gave up on it and don't even bring it up now. I can find parents that pay on time... pick up on time.. drop off on time.. send their kids in clean clothes... feed healthy food at home... give me a whopping big fat bonus and a nice weekly check... but I can't find a full GROUP of parents who keep their kids home when they are off of work. I gave it the hardest try a provider could in the first fourteen years I did day care and I finally surrendered. I finally came to the conclusion that there is NO market for day care where you keep your kid in day care only when you NEED it to go to work especially if the price is the same whether you use it or not.

That's what you do too... you just call it something else. You call it picking the right parents I call it business survival.

All of my parents do it - every single one of them - if they have a day off they send their kids here. EVERY single day they have off...not here and there...EVERY ONE OF THEM. I know when I worked outside of the home I would drive a million mph to get to my daughters daycare to pick her up - when I had a day off she didnt go, when I got off early I went straight to pick her up..

I actually gave the families all a freek week to use for their own vacation days at home with their kids - they couldnt use it for sick time or anything other than spending time with their children.

Gosh Heather it sounds like you don't know how to pick them either.

Okay, I decide to be petty, like you, and go back and search your posts....your own words:

I'm fortunate enough that I can be quite picky about who I take and can interview out a lot of the potential issues in parenting or lack thereof. I've been doing this for a long time.

AND

I did not say that SHE should have spotted this in the first interview. I'm saying that "I" would have spotted this in the interview. I have done child care for 31 years. By now... I better be able to spot this.

I didn't challenge you when YOU made these comments.....just because you disagree with me about what can and cannot be "interviewed out" doesn't mean you need to drag it out for days on end.....and AGAIN, FTR, I NEVER said you can "interview out" a parent who would leave their child in daycare while they are on vacation.

You REALLY need to get a life....

Was this a joke ?