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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Do You Do With Children Like This?
Indoorvoice 08:43 AM 03-19-2018
I have an almost one yr old dcb. He can pull up and walk around furniture and crawl and sit on his own, but it's so rare. I don't know if he is just lazy or if he's miserable or what, but he will not do anything lately. I change diapers on a pad on the floor in my bathroom. After I'm finished, he will not attempt to get up or move unless I physically move him myself. He will just lay there forever. If I sit him in the middle of the room, he will not go find a toy, he will just sit and stare at me. He will occasionally whimper or whine like he is waiting for me to move him. If I give in and move him towards a toy or offer a toy to him, he will stare at me or drop it. He prefers to take his socks off, pick at his clothes, and pull at the carpet. He only seems happy and motivated to communicate at meal times. When I try to interact with him and engage him in activities, he does not smile and interact back. He just looks at me like he hates me. However when mom or dad come to pick up, he smiles, giggles and gets excited to see them and then reaches back for me for a hug unprompted so I know he is capable! But when he goes home and right when he arrives is the only time I get any sort of affection. It's so odd. He is a great sleeper and doesn't scream. Dcm and I are friends and I see videos all the time of him playing happily with his sister. Dcm does not seem at all concerned about this behavior. I'm not sure what to do differently.
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daycarediva 09:47 AM 03-19-2018
Nothing. Kids act differently at home/daycare. I have one that is reserved/shy and took a good year to really come out of her shell away from her parents.

Grandbaby is like this with ANYONE but me/hubby/uncles and her parents. Even her dads side of the family- she wont smile, laugh, play at their house.
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LittleScholars 10:24 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have an almost one yr old dcb. He can pull up and walk around furniture and crawl and sit on his own, but it's so rare. I don't know if he is just lazy or if he's miserable or what, but he will not do anything lately. I change diapers on a pad on the floor in my bathroom. After I'm finished, he will not attempt to get up or move unless I physically move him myself. He will just lay there forever. If I sit him in the middle of the room, he will not go find a toy, he will just sit and stare at me. He will occasionally whimper or whine like he is waiting for me to move him. If I give in and move him towards a toy or offer a toy to him, he will stare at me or drop it. He prefers to take his socks off, pick at his clothes, and pull at the carpet. He only seems happy and motivated to communicate at meal times. When I try to interact with him and engage him in activities, he does not smile and interact back. He just looks at me like he hates me. However when mom or dad come to pick up, he smiles, giggles and gets excited to see them and then reaches back for me for a hug unprompted so I know he is capable! But when he goes home and right when he arrives is the only time I get any sort of affection. It's so odd. He is a great sleeper and doesn't scream. Dcm and I are friends and I see videos all the time of him playing happily with his sister. Dcm does not seem at all concerned about this behavior. I'm not sure what to do differently.
My own son acts differently at daycare. He loves the kids, but he is pretty reserved and likes to sit back and take it all in. He is a MANIAC once the kids leave and there isn't so much stimulation. I also notice that my son will be completely lacking in a skill and then overnight have it nearly mastered (for example he wouldn't even attempt to walk and then one day suddenly became a solid RUNNER). I'm guessing this is largely because he observes behaviors all day. I feel like some kids sit back and soak it all in.
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Unregistered 11:06 AM 03-19-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have an almost one yr old dcb. He can pull up and walk around furniture and crawl and sit on his own, but it's so rare. I don't know if he is just lazy or if he's miserable or what, but he will not do anything lately. I change diapers on a pad on the floor in my bathroom. After I'm finished, he will not attempt to get up or move unless I physically move him myself. He will just lay there forever. If I sit him in the middle of the room, he will not go find a toy, he will just sit and stare at me. He will occasionally whimper or whine like he is waiting for me to move him. If I give in and move him towards a toy or offer a toy to him, he will stare at me or drop it. He prefers to take his socks off, pick at his clothes, and pull at the carpet. He only seems happy and motivated to communicate at meal times. When I try to interact with him and engage him in activities, he does not smile and interact back. He just looks at me like he hates me. However when mom or dad come to pick up, he smiles, giggles and gets excited to see them and then reaches back for me for a hug unprompted so I know he is capable! But when he goes home and right when he arrives is the only time I get any sort of affection. It's so odd. He is a great sleeper and doesn't scream. Dcm and I are friends and I see videos all the time of him playing happily with his sister. Dcm does not seem at all concerned about this behavior. I'm not sure what to do differently.
He sounds super sweet! He seems a bit shy and reserved. No big deal, all kids are different.
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Ariana 11:21 AM 03-19-2018
I would definitely give it a bit more time. He might be carried at home a lot as well and is unsure of how to interact with his environment. I just started a 12 month old who is very similar. I laid her on her back to get her snowsuit off and when I was done she just laid there like she had no idea how to roll over and crawl away. She cries nonstop outside and is generally very hesitant, cautious and lethargic. Mom says they babywear a lot at home and she only goes outside in a stroller. I am really hoping she gets over it soon!
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CalCare 01:32 PM 03-19-2018
Reminds me of the baby I have, she's not a baby lol. She's 19 months now. If I go to hand her a food, like a cracker, she opens her mouth for me to put it in her mouth. I say "no take it,,, with your hand!" And I will put it in her hand and she is totally confused. She just has everything done for her at home. Constant carrying and breastfeeding. If I change diaper, she will just lie there after it's done like, 'move me to my next location..?'...

I don't move her at all except when she refuses to come in with everyone and it's time to go in. I give her as much patience as I have time for and then I pick her up and bring her inside where she collapses and cries. I just have to move on with my work so I leave her. It's just that she expects everything to be done to her and for her, but at the same time, to be catered to.
She also shows little to no affection. And only laughs and smiles around family. She's happy with them because they do everything to make her happy, I guess.
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Mom2Two 07:51 PM 03-19-2018
My 22 mth dcb, who started when he was 16 mths, was very, very reserved for quite a while. When I began being more conscientious about engaging with him in a positive way every 20 mins (as our state rule says for <24 mths), he became more "sunny" in how he responded to me. Before that, he was so happy to see his mom, but he hardly showed any emotion around me.
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Tags:1 year old, milestones, milestones - walking
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