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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Would you charge the parent? LONG!
daycarediva 04:23 PM 05-30-2014
Dcg/4 next month had an exceptionally hard time coming back after her three day weekend. She was miserable all week and BY FAR the 'worst offender'. I sent her home Tuesday for behavior (hit 3 times within 45 minutes of arrival,1 before sitting down to eat and 2 at breakfast) It is in my policy to send home for 3 instances of aggression. Mom wasn't happy, and gave the standard excuse of relatives visiting, late night, didn't nap, allergies bothering her, yadda yadda. I just nodded and said see you tomorrow.
Wed she ripped a book at story time. The kids each pick a book. Dcg was mad that hers wasn't being read first, grabbed the book out the pile next to me and tore it. I sent to TO and added the charge to her invoice. I also emailed Mom about it. She responded and was understanding, but asked "How was it possible she ripped it right in front of you?" Like I have octopus hands and can hold a book up with a 2yo on my lap and prevent her from grabbing a book. She also hit once and then I had her shadow me the remainder of the day.
Thurs she woke up about 20m early from nap. I gave her a board book and stuffed animal and asked her to sit quietly until nap time was over. I left the room to continue prepping snack and emptying the dishwasher, then heard her singing on the monitor. I went in, and she was sitting on her pillow singing our 'hand' song, loudly, with the claps included. Of course woke up 3 other kids. I told them to lay down and that nap was almost over. Took the animal and book away from dcg and reminded her to be quiet, went back to my snack prep. Came back in to wake the kids 5 minutes later and she was sitting on her pillow again. I woke the other kids, they all started picking up their pillows and blankets and putting them away. Then they lined up to potty/wash hands. Dcg refused to budge. I came in and told her to please get up, she refused. I got all of the other kids seated with snack, then went back in. She told me she had to potty and I said GO POTTY. She still refused to get up and yelled "YOU TOLD ME TO STAY ON MY MAT!" I said "Nap is over, get up and go potty." She then PEED ON HER PILLOW. I honestly don't know if it was an accident or not, this dcg has been here over a year, never had an accident before.
I emailed Mom.
Today she was soooo sassy, which I can handle, but then she was donkey kicking in the air, and "accidentally" kicking kids. I warned her, then put her in TO several times.
Right before pick up, she donkey kicked a little table/stand, it has shelves on both sides and two in the middle and is made of MDF. It is child height as a table and the kids use it for EVERYTING. It wasn't expensive or anything originally (around $75?), but I would love another one like it and haven't been able to find one. I sent her to TO. After TO I had her get her shoes on and sit on the carpet near the door. She put her shoes on and went right to the table and kicked it SO HARD it broke. This table is 10ish years old, and has stood up to a move, being in my dd's room for a few years, and then the last 4 years of 6 preschoolers. It is not able to be repaired. Kids were all like
and they started helping me take everything off of it and finding places for everything. Dcg's Mom comes in as she is in TO screaming that she hates me, hates (names each dck individually). I explain to Mom what happened and she makes dcg finish her TO. She ended up having to pick up dcg and carry her out.
She paid the updated invoice with the book, but I feel like she should pay for a replacement table, too. I WILL have to find something similar this weekend. As I said, we use it for EVERYTHING, and I wanted another one as is since it's so well used.
It IS in my policies that any intentional destruction is the responsibility of the parent to replace/repair.
....and dcg is not typically this off the wall. A little sassy, occasionally pushes, but nothing at ALL like this.
WWYD?
Wed she ripped a book at story time. The kids each pick a book. Dcg was mad that hers wasn't being read first, grabbed the book out the pile next to me and tore it. I sent to TO and added the charge to her invoice. I also emailed Mom about it. She responded and was understanding, but asked "How was it possible she ripped it right in front of you?" Like I have octopus hands and can hold a book up with a 2yo on my lap and prevent her from grabbing a book. She also hit once and then I had her shadow me the remainder of the day.
Thurs she woke up about 20m early from nap. I gave her a board book and stuffed animal and asked her to sit quietly until nap time was over. I left the room to continue prepping snack and emptying the dishwasher, then heard her singing on the monitor. I went in, and she was sitting on her pillow singing our 'hand' song, loudly, with the claps included. Of course woke up 3 other kids. I told them to lay down and that nap was almost over. Took the animal and book away from dcg and reminded her to be quiet, went back to my snack prep. Came back in to wake the kids 5 minutes later and she was sitting on her pillow again. I woke the other kids, they all started picking up their pillows and blankets and putting them away. Then they lined up to potty/wash hands. Dcg refused to budge. I came in and told her to please get up, she refused. I got all of the other kids seated with snack, then went back in. She told me she had to potty and I said GO POTTY. She still refused to get up and yelled "YOU TOLD ME TO STAY ON MY MAT!" I said "Nap is over, get up and go potty." She then PEED ON HER PILLOW. I honestly don't know if it was an accident or not, this dcg has been here over a year, never had an accident before.
I emailed Mom.
Today she was soooo sassy, which I can handle, but then she was donkey kicking in the air, and "accidentally" kicking kids. I warned her, then put her in TO several times.
Right before pick up, she donkey kicked a little table/stand, it has shelves on both sides and two in the middle and is made of MDF. It is child height as a table and the kids use it for EVERYTING. It wasn't expensive or anything originally (around $75?), but I would love another one like it and haven't been able to find one. I sent her to TO. After TO I had her get her shoes on and sit on the carpet near the door. She put her shoes on and went right to the table and kicked it SO HARD it broke. This table is 10ish years old, and has stood up to a move, being in my dd's room for a few years, and then the last 4 years of 6 preschoolers. It is not able to be repaired. Kids were all like
and they started helping me take everything off of it and finding places for everything. Dcg's Mom comes in as she is in TO screaming that she hates me, hates (names each dck individually). I explain to Mom what happened and she makes dcg finish her TO. She ended up having to pick up dcg and carry her out. She paid the updated invoice with the book, but I feel like she should pay for a replacement table, too. I WILL have to find something similar this weekend. As I said, we use it for EVERYTHING, and I wanted another one as is since it's so well used.
It IS in my policies that any intentional destruction is the responsibility of the parent to replace/repair.
....and dcg is not typically this off the wall. A little sassy, occasionally pushes, but nothing at ALL like this.
WWYD?
gracepatiencelove 04:33 PM 05-30-2014
I would definitely invoice her. If she balks, I would probably say, "that's fine. I will have to call at the first instance of any indication of aggression from now on as I am not able to continue to replace items 
"
But, I am on a failing streak with relationships with clients sooo... take it with a grain of salt.
"But, I am on a failing streak with relationships with clients sooo... take it with a grain of salt.
Kabob 04:58 PM 05-30-2014
If it is in your policies to charge for a repair/replacement then charge. I'd also put her on probation or warn the mom that one more instance of aggression is grounds for immediate termination. That's just dangerous and ridiculous. If she can break a table just imagine the damage she could do to another child...
Little Buttons 05:04 PM 05-30-2014
Yes! I would absolutely invoice her for the replacement of the table! I think consistancy is key. I also would be having a chat with the mom about these newish behaviors! One three day week end should not cause all of that! I am so sorry you've had a rough week!!
TickleMonster 05:55 PM 05-30-2014
I would have her pay to replace the table for sure. She seems like a reasonable person so Im sure she will understand. I have never had luck with parents reimbursing me for items destroyed by their kids but I ask for it anyways. The last incident was a dcb who kicked a huge hole in my wall. Told dcm her options were to pay for repairs or leave. Guess who never came back?
cheerfuldom 07:45 PM 05-30-2014
I would only charge mom if you are prepared for them to term and leave. They may not but they probably will.
Leigh 09:12 PM 05-30-2014
I would charge mom for the table. Then I would term and recommend a child therapist to mom.
Josiegirl 03:57 AM 05-31-2014
Oh my 
No words of advise but man oh man she's a little tyrant isn't she? I agree, a simple 3 day weekend shouldn't cause all this. Maybe it'll take a few days to get back into routine and catch up on sleep?
No words of advise but man oh man she's a little tyrant isn't she? I agree, a simple 3 day weekend shouldn't cause all this. Maybe it'll take a few days to get back into routine and catch up on sleep?
e.j. 08:53 AM 05-31-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
She responded and was understanding, but asked "How was it possible she ripped it right in front of you?"
WWYD?
If your policies state parents will pay for damages, you're well within your rights to ask her to pay for the table. Given her response about having to pay for the book, though, I would expect that she'll be looking for another day care before too long. (Personally, given the kid's behavior, I would be okay with that. She responded and was understanding, but asked "How was it possible she ripped it right in front of you?"
WWYD?
) She's blaming you for not supervising her child well enough instead of being upset at her kid's bad behavior. If you're looking to hold on to this family, I'd definitely have a sit down with the dcm to discuss the child's behavior and the steps you're taking to prevent and correct it when it happens. If she's willing to become involved in correcting the problem, she may see that you're working with her and not against her.
playground1 10:07 AM 05-31-2014
Do/can you guys have insurance for this sort of thing? Is it prohibitively expensive?
SignMeUp 10:21 AM 05-31-2014
Originally Posted by queen_of_the_playground:
Do/can you guys have insurance for this sort of thing? Is it prohibitively expensive?
Most likely it would have to come under a homeowner's policy, and for these nickel-and-dime items it would not likely be worth it. Plus many companies up-charge after you submit a claim. And some discount the premium if you don't have claims for several years. Do/can you guys have insurance for this sort of thing? Is it prohibitively expensive?
(I am not saying that the nickel-and-dime complaints aren't valid - With an unusually destructive child, these are unexpected expenses that take away from our bottom line income.)
Unregistered 11:09 AM 05-31-2014
What would concern me more than anything is why this child is so raged !! Did something happen over the weekend to emotionally upset her ? As a parent I would apologize and offer to pay, but I would be so concerned about my child's emotional problems, I would ask my provider to help me find the source of the issues . As a home care provider. I would try to help the child re - direct her energies, if it were a one time occurrence . Poor thing must have something going on ? Sorry , but the child is the first concern .
misslori50 06:48 AM 06-03-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What would concern me more than anything is why this child is so raged !! Did something happen over the weekend to emotionally upset her ? As a parent I would apologize and offer to pay, but I would be so concerned about my child's emotional problems, I would ask my provider to help me find the source of the issues . As a home care provider. I would try to help the child re - direct her energies, if it were a one time occurrence . Poor thing must have something going on ? Sorry , but the child is the first concern .
I completely agree with above post. what happened over the weekend to cause this upsetting behavior?What would concern me more than anything is why this child is so raged !! Did something happen over the weekend to emotionally upset her ? As a parent I would apologize and offer to pay, but I would be so concerned about my child's emotional problems, I would ask my provider to help me find the source of the issues . As a home care provider. I would try to help the child re - direct her energies, if it were a one time occurrence . Poor thing must have something going on ? Sorry , but the child is the first concern .
daycarediva 09:45 AM 06-03-2014
Spoiled rotten by grandma.
Child is all settled back in, typical behavior. Mom paid for my replacement (found a $65 table) , with $20 added in for the inconvenience.
She did get a warning, anymore willful destruction of this magnitude and I will term immediately. Mom signed it.
Child is all settled back in, typical behavior. Mom paid for my replacement (found a $65 table) , with $20 added in for the inconvenience.
She did get a warning, anymore willful destruction of this magnitude and I will term immediately. Mom signed it.