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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>When a DCK Hits DCM at Pick Up...
Brooksie 05:08 PM 10-17-2013
Do you say anything? I did today. This normally very well behaved angel of a child pulled back and took a swipe at mom today at pick up. Her parents just split up in March and she will be 3 next week. Its been hard on her and she's very emotional randomly throughout the day, but I've NEVER seen her hit. She pulled back and took a swipe at mom and mom didn't say anything (probably embarassed) so I said "Excuse me A**** that is NOT ok. We do not hit Mommy, Hitting HURTS." And then dcg started pouting and tears welled up in her eyes. I felt bad but hitting isn't something I tolerate here no matter who is involved. Mom didn't seem to mind and then she talked to me about dcgs emotions lately and the ways shes been acting out (most of the things I never see)... but then I thought about it, maybe I overstepped my boundaries? idk. What do you guys think?
Laurel 05:14 PM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Do you say anything? I did today. This normally very well behaved angel of a child pulled back and took a swipe at mom today at pick up. Her parents just split up in March and she will be 3 next week. Its been hard on her and she's very emotional randomly throughout the day, but I've NEVER seen her hit. She pulled back and took a swipe at mom and mom didn't say anything (probably embarassed) so I said "Excuse me A**** that is NOT ok. We do not hit Mommy, Hitting HURTS." And then dcg started pouting and tears welled up in her eyes. I felt bad but hitting isn't something I tolerate here no matter who is involved. Mom didn't seem to mind and then she talked to me about dcgs emotions lately and the ways shes been acting out (most of the things I never see)... but then I thought about it, maybe I overstepped my boundaries? idk. What do you guys think?
I would have done the same thing as you did.Do you say anything? I did today. This normally very well behaved angel of a child pulled back and took a swipe at mom today at pick up. Her parents just split up in March and she will be 3 next week. Its been hard on her and she's very emotional randomly throughout the day, but I've NEVER seen her hit. She pulled back and took a swipe at mom and mom didn't say anything (probably embarassed) so I said "Excuse me A**** that is NOT ok. We do not hit Mommy, Hitting HURTS." And then dcg started pouting and tears welled up in her eyes. I felt bad but hitting isn't something I tolerate here no matter who is involved. Mom didn't seem to mind and then she talked to me about dcgs emotions lately and the ways shes been acting out (most of the things I never see)... but then I thought about it, maybe I overstepped my boundaries? idk. What do you guys think?
Laurel
Michael 05:16 PM 10-17-2013
Sounds like you did the right thing. These days the girl probably is more comfortable at your daycare where she can be away from the tensions at home. It was a teachable moment. I'm sure the mother appreciated it.
craftymissbeth 05:20 PM 10-17-2013
I would have done the same thing. If you hadn't it could have possibly opened the door for more bad behavior at pick-up, ya know?
Hunni Bee 05:30 PM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Do you say anything? I did today. This normally very well behaved angel of a child pulled back and took a swipe at mom today at pick up. Her parents just split up in March and she will be 3 next week. Its been hard on her and she's very emotional randomly throughout the day, but I've NEVER seen her hit. She pulled back and took a swipe at mom and mom didn't say anything (probably embarassed) so I said "Excuse me A**** that is NOT ok. We do not hit Mommy, Hitting HURTS." And then dcg started pouting and tears welled up in her eyes. I felt bad but hitting isn't something I tolerate here no matter who is involved. Mom didn't seem to mind and then she talked to me about dcgs emotions lately and the ways shes been acting out (most of the things I never see)... but then I thought about it, maybe I overstepped my boundaries? idk. What do you guys think?
We have that same child!!Do you say anything? I did today. This normally very well behaved angel of a child pulled back and took a swipe at mom today at pick up. Her parents just split up in March and she will be 3 next week. Its been hard on her and she's very emotional randomly throughout the day, but I've NEVER seen her hit. She pulled back and took a swipe at mom and mom didn't say anything (probably embarassed) so I said "Excuse me A**** that is NOT ok. We do not hit Mommy, Hitting HURTS." And then dcg started pouting and tears welled up in her eyes. I felt bad but hitting isn't something I tolerate here no matter who is involved. Mom didn't seem to mind and then she talked to me about dcgs emotions lately and the ways shes been acting out (most of the things I never see)... but then I thought about it, maybe I overstepped my boundaries? idk. What do you guys think?
A perfect angel all day, and as soon as mom comes he hits, kicks, throws things at her!! It was so shocking to us. We sternly corrected him the first couple times, but it became apparent that this isn't new and the mom won't discipline him for it. She just chuckles.
Brooksie 05:38 PM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
We have that same child!!
A perfect angel all day, and as soon as mom comes he hits, kicks, throws things at her!! It was so shocking to us. We sternly corrected him the first couple times, but it became apparent that this isn't new and the mom won't discipline him for it. She just chuckles.
I've had this girl, I guess going on her 3rd month, and the behavior difference at pick up is becoming more and more apparent. Used to just be as soon as mom gets here she whines for her binky (which she never gets during the day here and is now not even using it at nap time) but now she's really giving her mom attitude and now the hitting... idk. Its crazy to see.We have that same child!!
A perfect angel all day, and as soon as mom comes he hits, kicks, throws things at her!! It was so shocking to us. We sternly corrected him the first couple times, but it became apparent that this isn't new and the mom won't discipline him for it. She just chuckles.
JoseyJo 07:24 PM 10-17-2013
I definitely discipline them at p/u if parents dont. They of course cry to mom or dad but I stay firm. We have a few hard cases who have had to even sit in TO while their parents waited. After that the parents usually decide to discipline their children or leave very very quickly at p/u- works for me either way!
Karena 10:51 PM 10-17-2013
I've had the same here too; one parent doesn't discipline for sassy, whining and even hitting behavior at the pu; it was hard not to say anything and watch, so I just started saying goodnight and walked away. Around the corner I could hear dcm correct her child, maybe she was embarrassed with me there. I figure with the parent here, my job is done, they take over, unless it pertained to something outside of parent-child.
coolconfidentme 02:57 AM 10-18-2013
Originally Posted by Karena:
I've had the same here too; one parent doesn't discipline for sassy, whining and even hitting behavior at the pu; it was hard not to say anything and watch, so I just started saying goodnight and walked away. Around the corner I could hear dcm correct her child, maybe she was embarrassed with me there. I figure with the parent here, my job is done, they take over, unless it pertained to something outside of parent-child.
I have it in my policy the parents are in charge of their child at drop off & pickup. Seems like the younger the parent the less they are.I've had the same here too; one parent doesn't discipline for sassy, whining and even hitting behavior at the pu; it was hard not to say anything and watch, so I just started saying goodnight and walked away. Around the corner I could hear dcm correct her child, maybe she was embarrassed with me there. I figure with the parent here, my job is done, they take over, unless it pertained to something outside of parent-child.
MissAnn 03:34 AM 10-18-2013
I had a new kid slug me in the stomach when I was talking to another DC mom. I let him know right then and there that was not acceptable.
countrymom 06:00 AM 10-18-2013
acually, I find this behavior all the time happening. And really I'm wondering if the kids do it because they can get away with it or they are looking for attention from their parents or they are just naughty. I have alot of parents who just laugh at it.
Mister Sir Husband 06:14 AM 10-18-2013
Sad part is the parents prolly allow this behavior at home so the kid know she can get away with it. I can remember when I was younger my cousin used to watch us kids sometimes when my parents went out for the evening. There were some things we did that we knew mom and dad would never allow if they were home, but my cousin never said anything so we went ahead and had fun. (nothing too horrible, wearing shoes in the house, standing on the couch, .. stuff like that).
Blackcat31 06:26 AM 10-18-2013
I also make it clear that parents need to step up and be in control of their child at pick up and drop off.
I make sure parents understand my expectations:
NO hitting
NO running off
NO touching other people's belongings
NO sass/back talk
If a child does any of those behaviors at home, that is not my issue. However since I don't allow those behaviors at my house, I WILL speak up and reprimand a child IF the parent doesn't do so.
If the parent doesn't step up and say something and I have to, I then speak with the parent about what I expect of them as far as controlling their child(ren).
I make sure parents understand my expectations:
NO hitting
NO running off
NO touching other people's belongings
NO sass/back talk
If a child does any of those behaviors at home, that is not my issue. However since I don't allow those behaviors at my house, I WILL speak up and reprimand a child IF the parent doesn't do so.
If the parent doesn't step up and say something and I have to, I then speak with the parent about what I expect of them as far as controlling their child(ren).
JoseyJo 09:51 AM 10-18-2013
Our dcb5 who has terrible behavior when mom is here (I have posted about it a lot!) said something rude to his mom at pickup yesterday when another dck5's gma was picking up also. She said "Hey there big boy! what are you thinking? We DON't talk like that." very firmly with no ounce of kidding in her voice or body language. DCK5 immediately started acting right (and looked ashamed) then dcm tells him it's alright and starts talking baby talk to him! Some people
Blackcat31 09:53 AM 10-18-2013
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
Our dcb5 who has terrible behavior when mom is here (I have posted about it a lot!) said something rude to his mom at pickup yesterday when another dck5's gma was picking up also. She said "Hey there big boy! what are you thinking? We DON't talk like that." very firmly with no ounce of kidding in her voice or body language. DCK5 immediately started acting right (and looked ashamed) then dcm tells him it's alright and starts talking baby talk to him! Some people
An older child like that would be sitting in time out upon arrival the next day.Our dcb5 who has terrible behavior when mom is here (I have posted about it a lot!) said something rude to his mom at pickup yesterday when another dck5's gma was picking up also. She said "Hey there big boy! what are you thinking? We DON't talk like that." very firmly with no ounce of kidding in her voice or body language. DCK5 immediately started acting right (and looked ashamed) then dcm tells him it's alright and starts talking baby talk to him! Some people
At 5, they are plenty old enough to understand that the consequence today was for yesterday's behavior.
JoseyJo 10:06 AM 10-18-2013
Yep, that is what happened. He started off this morning at d/o sassing his mom and acting a fool so he went straight there. Actually I waited until dcm left because she would have "made it up to him" by taking him out to eat, buying him a toy, etc and telling him she was sorry he got in trouble and it was all her fault that he had to sit in t/o at d/o. She is a BIG PITA.
We have had him since 17 mo and he is fine for us. The horrible thing is that I have spoken to dcm many times about his behavior w/ her and what she is doing to encourage it and she admits she knows it is wrong but she doesn't want to stop doing it. She sleeps in his bed every night, lets him hit her and sass her, apologizes to him because it is "her fault". I hate to imagine him as a teen
We have had him since 17 mo and he is fine for us. The horrible thing is that I have spoken to dcm many times about his behavior w/ her and what she is doing to encourage it and she admits she knows it is wrong but she doesn't want to stop doing it. She sleeps in his bed every night, lets him hit her and sass her, apologizes to him because it is "her fault". I hate to imagine him as a teen
MotherNature 11:40 AM 10-18-2013
I've done the same thing before, but dcm let it occur daily & ignored it. She got pissed when I instantly termed him for hitting me. Sorry, not putting up with a 3 year old hitting me. He was violent to others though and had many delays she refused to acknowledge.