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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Ideas?
daycarediva 11:20 AM 07-11-2016
I have a group of kids age 18m-almost 5-almost 5yo is going to kindergarten in fall.

4.5yo cannot play independently and needs CONSTANT attention "look at me" wording and behavior. Since starting my younger kids, this has amped up. She interrupts everyone, tests my limits, and is the only child I need to speak to about behavior. She CANNOT play independently. AT ALL. She will wander around looking for/getting into trouble. In addition, even the kids her own age don't like her, the SA kids wouldn't play with her either (too controlling, her way or the highway) she's too 'mommy-ing' for the little ones, she babies them, touches them (hugging, trying to get them to hug her, sit in her lap, etc). None of which I allow.

She has issues understanding body language- the kids are pushing her away and saying NO or starting to cry and she persists. She WILL continue until I intervene.

It has been brought up periodically over the last 3 years, but her parents have not heard what I have said. They literally twist it "has trouble making friends" and they respond "she is so smart she gets frustrated with kids not on her level" (not accurate at all- she is academically smart-socially functioning at a much younger age), but her lack of friends is entirely based on her lack of social skill progression- she will not compromise on a play scheme, play anything other than what she wants and it is microcontrolled down to what the other player says- like a script. *I* suspect high functioning autism, as aside from the lack of friendships, lack of recognizing body language, scripts when playing, she has patterns of repetitive behavior, and some sensory issues.

She is also a BIG thumb sucker-sensory/oral stim seeker- it has completely destroyed her mouth. She still mouths toys. The damage is visible in pictures, The pedi recommended a dental eval, the parents haven't followed through.

I recommended to the parents that she start K. I don't want her another year- she is beyond what I teach academically, the parents are pushing down HARD for academics (I refuse to change my program) She had a pre-entrance exam and passed with flying colors. So her parents are all "My kid is a genius, she got early entrance to kindergarten!"

I just want to survive the summer- ideas? Ignoring does NOT work. It gets worse.

I am strict- she gets limits set in advance and one warning. Remove the warning maybe? She would be done with everything in minutes. She ALWAYS gets to that second warning, then quits before I stop her from doing whatever she isn't supposed to do again.
laundrymom 11:28 AM 07-11-2016
She knows the rules and breaks them once because she knows you'll give a warning?
Stop the warnings.
sharlan 11:34 AM 07-11-2016
I have a "ONE TIME" rule. No warnings.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:39 AM 07-11-2016
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I have a "ONE TIME" rule. No warnings.
This is the route I would go for her.
Controlled Chaos 12:06 PM 07-11-2016
I would assign her where to play. "Sally you get to play with the blocks now, sit here on the rug with the blocks, I will let you know when you get to switch." After a bit "Sally, now you get to play playdhoh at the table. Come sit, I will let you know when you get to switch". If she does well after a few rotations then I would give her a choice "next you can choose book area or puzzles!" If you want you can make it her special area and no other kids allowed in it when she is there to cut down on other areas.

For the look at me stuff -
"I am always looking at all my little ones! Sara is playing dolls, Tony is painting, you are playing play doh! Thank you everyone for using inside voices!"
daycarediva 03:49 AM 07-12-2016
Great ideas, no warnings. I already assign her at a center, so I tell her where to play.

Eg. yesterday I had these centers set up.
Playdoh with some mats for activities/ideas
magnatiles on the light table, name cards/letters
puzzles, including a large floor puzzle on the circle carpet
free painting/art
Sensory table- two options here
educational computer game (15m time limit)

I assign the kids, I have her alone because the other kids protest if put with her. When they have completed the center, or are bored and ready to move on, I have them choose where they want to go next if it's open/available.

Yesterday I put her at playdoh first. She took out every color (we have quite a bit, too) opened it, banged it out onto the table, and then put it back. Then when that got NO attention from me, (intentionally being loud) she started flicking playdoh onto the floor. ONE warning, did it again. I moved her onto puzzles. She asked me where every piece went, layed on the floor rolling in them (stop) then started throwing them into the air. I moved her again... and so on and so forth.

As the kids are doing their centers, I walk among them to interact with them, ask questions, help solve conflicts, etc. She gets positive attention, we have conversations, but I almost don't WANT to interact with her because the second I move away from her- the behaviors increase to get attention back to her.

Yesterday was just a day- I am beyond frustrated. I mentioned her difficulty following directions to her Mom "Oh she's just tired, late bedtime last night." This behavior is no different than any other day, but I stopped mentioning it because there is always an excuse. This child goes to bed at 7pm, and gets up at 7am, it is NOT lack of sleep.
daycarediva 08:50 AM 07-12-2016
Just wanted to update real quick. She was moved from center to center and DONE within 10 minutes. I had her sit in the library area and 'read'. She ended up losing books (throwing them, pretending to rip them) and then after she lost books she was standing on the kids couches and jumping from couch to couch, throwing throw pillows at kids, etc. Finally I had her move to the table and just sit there, she had about 10 minutes left of centers at this point. THANK GOD for lunch (she loves food and sits great because I WILL excuse her if she acts up) and rest time.

I asked Mom- she slept great! Although the Mom was already acting up before she entered the house.
Tags:punishment, rules, warning
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