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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Hope She Don't Go CRAZY....
pfund2233 05:24 AM 01-31-2012
Gave DCM term notice yesterday after a long weekend of decision making. She was not happy. She called me last night at 930pm (I was in bed... I start at 5am) to discuss the whole thing. There is nothing to discuss. I termed for personal reasons that I don't think are any of her business. I had 4 families to choose from for terming and hers was the best choice for many reasons... main being schedule. She wants to talk about it at drop off this morn. Why can't she just leave it be... I'm keeping my personal business private!!

Just needed to vent... wish me luck.
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Breezy 05:40 AM 01-31-2012
Good luck!!
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morgan24 05:51 AM 01-31-2012
I hate when I make a decision and they think that they can debate it. When that happens to me I just say I'm doing what works for me. If they want to keep talking they get the same answer over and over.

Stick with your decision and hang in there.
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momma2girls 06:47 AM 01-31-2012
Good luck with everything!!
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Lucy 10:59 AM 01-31-2012
Just say something like:

"I want to assure you that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you or your kids. It is for personal reasons that I am downsizing (or changing hours, or no longer doing part-time, or whatever the case.) Please don't take it personally, as it was strictly a business decision. Here are phone numbers of other Providers in the area, and also the number to our local Resource and Referral office."
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MommyofThree 11:03 AM 01-31-2012
Actually no offense but I think it is her business if your terming her child. I as a parent would and deserve an explanation . I as a dcp would always give reasons.
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MarinaVanessa 03:26 PM 01-31-2012
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
Actually no offense but I think it is her business if your terming her child. I as a parent would and deserve an explanation . I as a dcp would always give reasons.
And no offense to you either but I don't think that the DC providers personal life are her clients business. I've been given notice before without an explination, just a short "This letter is to inform you that I {parent} am giving you {provider} my 2 week notice of termination. Last day of attendance will be {date}.

Would I have appreciated a reason and explination? Sure. Did she owe me an explination? No, not really. It's customary and polite to give a reason but it's really not necessary. The same goes for a provider giving notice to a parent.

What if, hypothetically speaking, the provider was caring for an infant and miscarried a baby during early pregnancy and caring for the infant became too stressfull and difficult because the infant reminded her of the unborn baby she had lost?

What if the provider found out that she had an illness and that weighed down on her, or she had marital problems with her husband, or her mother died and she wanted to lighten her DC load so that she could cope better and lessen the stress?

I don't think that any of those situations warrant a provider having to explain to a client the reasons about why she was chosen as the family to be let go.

pfund had a choice to make as to which family to let go and, as she said in her OP, she chose this family and the main reason being their schedule. I'm sure that she diliberated on which family would be let go and unfortunately for this family it was them, unfortunately for the provider "personal reasons" forced her into making this decision in the first place.

A simple "For personal reasons I have to let one daycare family go. This is your 2 week termination notice. The last day of child care will be {date}" is enough explination.
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MommyofThree 04:38 PM 01-31-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
And no offense to you either but I don't think that the DC providers personal life are her clients business. I've been given notice before without an explination, just a short "This letter is to inform you that I {parent} am giving you {provider} my 2 week notice of termination. Last day of attendance will be {date}.

Would I have appreciated a reason and explination? Sure. Did she owe me an explination? No, not really. It's customary and polite to give a reason but it's really not necessary. The same goes for a provider giving notice to a parent.

What if, hypothetically speaking, the provider was caring for an infant and miscarried a baby during early pregnancy and caring for the infant became too stressfull and difficult because the infant reminded her of the unborn baby she had lost?

What if the provider found out that she had an illness and that weighed down on her, or she had marital problems with her husband, or her mother died and she wanted to lighten her DC load so that she could cope better and lessen the stress?

I don't think that any of those situations warrant a provider having to explain to a client the reasons about why she was chosen as the family to be let go.

pfund had a choice to make as to which family to let go and, as she said in her OP, she chose this family and the main reason being their schedule. I'm sure that she diliberated on which family would be let go and unfortunately for this family it was them, unfortunately for the provider "personal reasons" forced her into making this decision in the first place.

A simple "For personal reasons I have to let one daycare family go. This is your 2 week termination notice. The last day of child care will be {date}" is enough explination.
LOL alrighty then lol. I think you dont have to tell your buissess but you shouldnt just give two weeks and thats it. Just say its not working out and leave it at that. lol. You sound like you are having a bad day:}
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Lucy 11:52 AM 02-03-2012
So how did this come out????????
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pfund2233 01:20 PM 02-03-2012
First off thank you Vanessa! What I am dealing with is VERY personal and with my husband having not 1 but 2 jobs in the public eye is hard enough.

It didn't go well... She decided to not bring DCB back after Tuesday. I have had him over a year along with 2 others simular in age who didn't even get a chance to say good bye. Heartbreakng as I loved this little boy. DCM and her mom came to my home to get DCB things last night and I was alittle taken back as I thought gram was taking charge. I know this family has been threw alot in the past but they also don't know what I have gone threw and what I'm dealing with now. I told them it wasn't a termination more like a resignation on my part and any other job I wouldn't have to explain WHY I was resigning... correct? It ended badly and now I'm waiting for payment from them per my handbook and their signed contract. I'm just ready for it all to be done and want to wash my hands of it. Gram said some very hurtful things and I feel it wasn't even her place to be talking as DCM didn't hardly say a peep.

I have decided like with any service business you have "clients" come and go. Nothing I can do about it. Now it's time to focus on the future and proceed forward.

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE SUPPORT EVERYONE!!!
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CaliMom 01:59 PM 02-03-2012
Just try to brush it off but I know it's hard. You made a decision that you felt is best for you and your family and that's all you can do. Now try to have a great weekend!
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bice99 02:10 PM 02-03-2012
I hope your check comes in the mail. I had a crazy mama last year who threw a hissy fit when I told her I didn't know if I could work with her son's half day schedule come fall (teacher family, this was May 1st). I had a sub with me at drop off and pick up the entire week and I'm glad I did b/c the mama threw a fit for an hour one day at drop off. She had "hired" me and I "worked for her" so how could I say a part time schedule might not work (um, it's in my PHB - FT takes priority over PT and this mama was a PITA who our family wanted gone). She did pay through the end of the school year. And guess what? This fall I found out that she "resigned" so she could stay at home with her 1 y/o. I think she couldn't find DC that she could boss around.

Last week I had a mama give notice and in her email, she figured out what she owed me. It was wrong. I told her so and she said, "well if you want to be nit picky about it." I'm sorry, but if I choose to discontinue my cable, I don't tell Comcast how much I owe them. LOL. She paid me for one day less than she was supposed to, but at least the check came and cleared.

Let us know what happens. I hate the drama aspect of DC.
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Nellie 04:03 PM 02-03-2012
Dear pfund
I am just curious. When you terminated did you tell/write her that it was for personal reasons or did you just say/wrote that you were terminating services and X was last day? I am 100% behind you either way and couldn't agree more that you don't need to disclose your personal buisness. I could see from a parents side if nothing was said that they might be wondering what they did or the child did. If my child was being terminated from a DC for some behavioral issue(or my own) I would like to know so that I could work on fixing the problem. I hope that you get your check and life will be a bit easier for you with one less family.
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pfund2233 08:46 PM 02-03-2012
Nellie... I stated in writing and verbaly that it was for personal reasons with in my family and was not due to the child or anything else.

I recived a voicemail tonight while I was at a family dinner from DCM's mom... aka Grandma... that they don't feel the need to have to pay me. REALLY?!?!?!?! Wow!!! I'm so done with this family. Goes to show you my family and myself really ment NOTHING to them. Kinda sad...
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Tags:termination, termination notice
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