LoraJenkins 07:59 AM 03-23-2014
I have a 2.5 year old dcb that comes 2-3 days a week. When he started in my care, his Mother was single. Now she has moved in with her boyfriend. The boyfriend picks-up now. Last week at pick-up the boyfriend asked that if they pay for a moth at a time, if I would give a discount. I was shocked!!! He totally caught me off guard.
After thinking about it I got a little upset. My contract is with the Mother so, I see no reason to discuss things with him and I felt that he had overstepped the line so to speak. I talked with the Mother and told her that my rates are my rates. I do not give discounts. She was fine with that and went on to work.
I don't know if I over reacted or not but, to me he had no right to discuss our arrangement. What do you think?
TickleMonster 08:34 AM 03-23-2014
Your reaction is completely normal. Your contract is with her and all financial discussions should be between you and her. If she wants to revise things to include him on financial decision making then she needs to come to you and discuss that with you. Otherwise, if such a question comes up from again, you politely but firmly tell him that discussions on payments need to come from her.
TwinKristi 09:46 AM 03-23-2014
I know of a few providers who offer a discount for monthly in-full payments, our preschool offered it if you paid for the year, etc. I don't think it's a big deal to ask. I offered a PT family a discount if they would switch to FT and pay in advance.
And maybe you should talk to the mom about talking to the boyfriend if you're concerned. I had been a single mom for 3yr before I met my dh and he eventually helped with picking up the kids at daycare and such and now he's my dh. He was just my "boyfriend" when we first met but now we've been together longer than any of our friends, parents or even that daycare provider I had then! I understand that the mom is who you've always worked out payments with but perhaps they're combining their monies now and he is able to help her pay her daycare at the beginning of the month if it helped her. Perhaps he knows of someone who does offer a discount if you pay for the month and that's why he was asking. I don't think they were trying to insult you.
Mondaygirl 10:22 AM 03-23-2014
I agree with you completely. Your contract is with the mom, not with him. If he wants to be seen as a partner in the arrangement, he needs to be put on the contract when it's up for renewal, and sign. (If you do contract renewals, obviously.)
DaisyMamma 05:59 AM 03-24-2014
I would not be offended. He is now part of the family and helps pay the bills. If you aren't comfortable with him discussing it with you, he has no idea unless you tell him.
Some providers do offer discounts for paying monthly, and its fine if you don't.
I think we are all protective of our dc families' privacy, so I think you reacted as I would. I think the PPs are correct in saying he may be more involved than Mom has informed you of. I would just say to dcm that since he brought it up, you need clarification as to whether or not he is privy to certain info and perhaps the contract and emergency contact sheet and pickup sheet needs to reflect that change.