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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>My Kids Are Getting Heavy and I'm Panicking!!!!
kppzbw 12:39 PM 05-08-2015
My kids are getting heavy and more and more inactive and I'm panicking!!! I am a wife and a mother to 3 beautiful daughters. I was an elementary school teacher for 10 years and have been doing daycare for the past 4. We are a loving, middle class family. Our children are our world and we would do anything for them! With that said....I feel as though I am failing in a few areas. My daughters just had their dance recital and in a group of over 100 dancers, a handful were overweight. My 7 year old is very heavy for her age and my always slender 5 year old has put on a few pounds and I can see her slipping slowly into the same position. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!! In this group of 100 girls, there are obese parents, slim parents, uneducated parents, educated parents, upper class, lower class....you get the drift....so what am I doing so different???? We are not living on mountain dew and pizza!!! I try to feed them healthy meals, but am guilty of letting them snack...but so do others...I seriously do not know how to raise thin, healthy kids!!!
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NightOwl 01:04 PM 05-08-2015
I'm wondering if your children are getting enough outside time. If they're healthy and you're already feeding them healthy meals, then the only thing that could be lacking is exercise.

On the other hand, most kids go through a chubby stage and that's all it is, a stage. They may grow out before they grow up, so they spend some time being chubby until they start growing in height.

But never say to them that they're overweight/fat/chubby, etc. With girls especially, that could follow them for life.
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Unregistered 01:07 PM 05-08-2015
First of all. A big hug for you . You are not a failiure as a parent. You are learning and parenting is always a learning journey . You have been doing your part with limiting junk food, which is good I can give you a couple ideas you can use, or you can change them to fit your needs :

1. If there is a sport they like, get them a ball to play with. My sister and I enjoyed playing catch outside with a baseball. We threw it gently underhand. I also have a football in my room that I would throw inside the trampoline in my yard (My sister and I outgrew the trampoline)

2. You can buy a trampoline and turn trampoline jumping into a competition. For example, whoever jumps thirty times first gets to watch one episode of their favorite show on TV (only an example reward you can pick)

3. If there is a swimming pool center where you live, you could get the girls new swimsuits, amd all of you can go there for a swim this costs money due to the season passes or admission price.

4. Since they are all involved in dance, have them come up with their own dance routine it can be however they want it, and they can choose the music (Clean lyrics of course )

The last thing I want to mention is have them get their labs run by their doctor. In particular, have them check their thyroid levels. If it is low, they will be able to take medication for it (I say this from personal experience because I have it. ) It is called hypothyroidism.

Big hug and lots of good luck to you and your family
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Controlled Chaos 01:13 PM 05-08-2015
Here is what we do in my family -

1. Don't talk about size or weight PERIOD We talk about wanting to feel good, take care of our bodies and be healthy

2. If you wish to allow snacking - have "anytime" snacks that are limited to fresh fruits and vegetables. You can always have an apple or some carrots. If they need a more substantial snack after school - yogurt, cheese or a hard boiled egg along with a fruit or veggie is a good way to hold sustain them until dinner.

3. Mandatory outdoor time. In the daycare setting all kids are outside from 10-11 everyday at least. I also kick my kiddos outside for at least half an hour in the evening. The can bike, run, kick a ball or lay in the grass. I don't care, but they are outside.

4. Turn off the computer, TV etc. Severely limit screen time. Its a crutch for all of us. Set a timer if you need to.

Kid gain and lose weight a lot, try not to stress too much. Its good you are aware and proactive Set an example of health. They will follow.
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Blackcat31 01:14 PM 05-08-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
First of all. A big hug for you . You are not a failiure as a parent. You are learning and parenting is always a learning journey . You have been doing your part with limiting junk food, which is good I can give you a couple ideas you can use, or you can change them to fit your needs :

1. If there is a sport they like, get them a ball to play with. My sister and I enjoyed playing catch outside with a baseball. We threw it gently underhand. I also have a football in my room that I would throw inside the trampoline in my yard (My sister and I outgrew the trampoline)

2. You can buy a trampoline and turn trampoline jumping into a competition. For example, whoever jumps thirty times first gets to watch one episode of their favorite show on TV (only an example reward you can pick)

3. If there is a swimming pool center where you live, you could get the girls new swimsuits, amd all of you can go there for a swim this costs money due to the season passes or admission price.

4. Since they are all involved in dance, have them come up with their own dance routine it can be however they want it, and they can choose the music (Clean lyrics of course )

The last thing I want to mention is have them get their labs run by their doctor. In particular, have them check their thyroid levels. If it is low, they will be able to take medication for it (I say this from personal experience because I have it. ) It is called hypothyroidism.

Big hug and lots of good luck to you and your family
This is great advice!!

OP~ the only thing I want to mention is don't equate thin with healthy.
Healthy is healthy at whatever weight is right for you (general you).
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Unregistered 01:27 PM 05-08-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is great advice!!

OP~ the only thing I want to mention is don't equate thin with healthy.
Healthy is healthy at whatever weight is right for you (general you).
There are 'fat' skinny people. Google it.
I would suggest taking walks together after dinner. Family exercise/healthy habit time
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NightOwl 01:32 PM 05-08-2015
Yes, on the blood work! Forgot about hypothyroidism and I even have it. I think it's genetic so it's completely plausible that all siblings could have it. A simple daily med straightens it out.

I agree with BC that thin doesn't automatically equal healthy. My daughter is an average weight for a 16 year old, but she's short, only 5'2. So she seems like she's carrying a few extra pounds when she's actually not (but try convincing her of that). She can stand next to her friends who are 5'4 and up and who weigh close to the same amount, but have different body types altogether because of their height. For her to be as "thin" as they are, she would have to weight less than 100 lbs. And because she's a dancer (8 years in) she has a lot of muscle, so for her to lose weight would actually be unhealthy in her case.
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Mandy 01:33 PM 05-08-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is great advice!!

OP~ the only thing I want to mention is don't equate thin with healthy.
Healthy is healthy at whatever weight is right for you (general you).
Thank you . I try to help when I can
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CraftyMom 01:47 PM 05-08-2015
Are they getting enough exercise? I know you said they go to dance, but if it's only one or even two classes per week that is much exercise really.

This came to mind only because there is a girl in one of my daughters' dance classes that is overweight. Her mom says she doesn't understand why, after all she takes a dance class...

My kids' classes are 45 minutes and they aren't fully active the whole time, so this 45 minutes once a week isn't much exercise at all. They need that amount or more per day.

Just a suggestion, that even if you feel like they are getting enough exercise, they might need more. Something where they are running, climbing, skipping, hopping

I also agree with having their thyroids checked. Does obesity run in the family?
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daycare 02:04 PM 05-08-2015
hugs...


despite eating the most healthy diet on earth, some people are just going to be heavy.

If you were to look at my sister and I you would not even belive we are related. no one thinks that we are.

I am 5'7, about 125
She is 5'2, about 215, maybe more.

We both are health nuts and all of our lives played sports. Neither of us have any health issues that would cause weight loss or weight gain. My mom used to make her run more, which was so mean, but my mom was worried about her weight, even when we were little.



The only thing I would say, is cut out the processed, sugary drinks and snacks. A lot of people don't realize just how much sugar are in drinks, lots of hidden calories too....


Sports are always a good way to promote fitness, especially soccer, lots of running.

starting to eat better and exercise as a family is a great way too. My whole family works out 4 days a week together at 530am or after dinner. Yes, I do make even my 7 year old work out with us. He is a super runner, who can out run me any day. He is up to being able to run 6miles straight with us, it's pretty amazing...

One question I would ask is, how do you eat? what about other adults that live in the house? Reason I ask,is becuase Money see Monkey do... It has to start with you....
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jenboo 02:31 PM 05-08-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is great advice!!

OP~ the only thing I want to mention is don't equate thin with healthy.
Healthy is healthy at whatever weight is right for you (general you).
I was a twig in highschool. I was 5'2 and weighed 110lbs. The shocker?! My body fat percentage was 24%!! I was literally skin, bones and fat. I'm sure everyone thought I was super healthy.
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Josiegirl 02:56 PM 05-08-2015
Does she like to jump rope or hula hoop? Make fun contests out of some activity she likes to do. For instance, doing a family walk every day, you could chart the miles covered and pick a virtual destination to walk to. Want to go to the ocean and it's 200 miles away? So 4 mile walks every day would take you 50 days to get there, then celebrate by doing something special. KWIM
Whatever you do, make it fun and not seem like work.
Also, with the eating find fruits/veggies she loves and then add smaller portions of your protein and grains. IOW, fill the plate out with an over abundance of veggies and fruits first.
Tell them you're not feeling very healthy lately and ask your dds if they'd like to join you in a healthy living challenge just for the summer. Make a fun goal for the end of it.
Don't focus on losing weight and dieting, or being overweight, fat, chubby, any of that. I grew up with those feelings, no feelings of self-worth and if anybody would've approached me with joining in on a fun way of living healthier, I would've jumped at the chance. I remember begging and pleading with my mom to not buy cookies or junk food. They always were and still are my downfall. Her reply was 'well, just don't eat them'.
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AmyLeigh 03:11 PM 05-08-2015
Don't compare them to the other kids. You never know what is going on in their lives. While in high school, I was exercising daily and taking 3 dance classes a week, eating a healthy, mostly plant based diet. I was thin and healthy. I was so jealous of a girl who could eat junk food all the time and never worked out, yet was always a size or 2 smaller than me (and I was a 4!) It turns out she was using speed to keep so thin. There is no way I will jeopardize my health just for another 10 pounds or so.

Just keep a balanced view of healthy habits and set the example and I'm sure it will work out.
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Starburst 11:02 AM 05-10-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
There are 'fat' skinny people. Google it.
I would suggest taking walks together after dinner. Family exercise/healthy habit time


For younger kids make it a game or goal. get them stepomoters and count their steps at the end of the day and have a short-term or long-term goal (something like 1,000,000 steps for the whole family with in a month (day goal of 5,000 to 10,000 steps) and when the goal is reached you all get to do something fun, like a family activity night or special day (Maybe a day at the park or a movie).

Also maybe a weekly activity on the weekends that involves being more active (a hike, family bike ride, make an obsticle course in the backyard).

If they watch TV during their free time maybe have a payment system for lazy activities (video games, TV) with more active activities. EX: exercise a half hour for every hour of TV. During commercials they can get up and walk around the room, run in place, or do jumping jacks until the show TV is back on. or maybe get them light weights (1 or 2 lbs, no more than 5lbs) they can lift while watching TV (Muscle burns more calories than fat).

You can also find Zumba videos for kids or other activity videos for kids (sometimes they just don't know what counts as exercise).
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Thriftylady 06:07 PM 05-10-2015
I agree with PP about not making weight an issue really. Try to make "healthy" an issue. One thing I do is keep two bowls with tight lids in my fridge. One with peeled and cut carrots, the other with celery sticks (with some cold water to keep them crisp), these are a great anytime snack, you can add some other fruits and veggies if you like. I also love the carrots and celery because I use them a lot in cooking and they are partially prepped.

When I had foster kids, I ALWAYS had a bowl of fruit on the table that was a free for all bowl. I don't do it so much now because it doesn't get eaten quick enough.

Check with licensing before doing a trampoline, I know some regs don't allow them.

Do get outside! Go for walks, play at the park, play a game of Frisbee or basketball. Anything to get some fresh air and get moving. It can be fun, it doesn't have to be boring!

Oh and you are not failing, you are doing great just by thinking about a solution!
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AmyKidsCo 01:10 PM 05-11-2015
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
Here is what we do in my family -

1. Don't talk about size or weight PERIOD We talk about wanting to feel good, take care of our bodies and be healthy

2. If you wish to allow snacking - have "anytime" snacks that are limited to fresh fruits and vegetables. You can always have an apple or some carrots. If they need a more substantial snack after school - yogurt, cheese or a hard boiled egg along with a fruit or veggie is a good way to hold sustain them until dinner.

3. Mandatory outdoor time. In the daycare setting all kids are outside from 10-11 everyday at least. I also kick my kiddos outside for at least half an hour in the evening. The can bike, run, kick a ball or lay in the grass. I don't care, but they are outside.

4. Turn off the computer, TV etc. Severely limit screen time. Its a crutch for all of us. Set a timer if you need to.

Kid gain and lose weight a lot, try not to stress too much. Its good you are aware and proactive Set an example of health. They will follow.
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is great advice!!

OP~ the only thing I want to mention is don't equate thin with healthy.
Healthy is healthy at whatever weight is right for you (general you).


Definitely don't talk about it with them - nothing creates/promotes eating disorders more than obsessing over weight! Remember that your job is to provide healthy food, their job is to decide what and how much to eat.

Being active as a family is a great idea - taking walks, bike riding, frisbee, swimming, etc.

Also, don't worry too much about it. Our 16 yr old was always big for his age - chunky and wore "husky" pants all through grade school, but around 8th grade he started "growing into" his weight. Now he's still a big boy, but at 6"+ he's solid/athletic but not chunky.
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Country Kids 03:53 PM 05-11-2015
Not trying to say the girls aren't active, but I have had three girls (two right now, all siblings) that do dance 5 nights a week and two older ones are heavier. Also, a friend of my daughters did dance 5 nights a week and was heavier till about 7/8 grade. She then shot up in height (6'1) and went into a different sport and thinned out.

My daughters do pageants and I have notice most of the dance girls that do it religously are heavier. So I'm not sure if its more muscle with dancers or they don't really tone their bodies like in other sports.
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earlystart 02:03 PM 05-12-2015
When I was around 9-12 years old I gained some weight, and wasn't real chubby, but I weighed probably 10-15 lbs more than my classmates. The change in my behavior is that I spent more time watching tv over the summer, and ate more snacks (fruit roll ups, chips, cookies, soda). That's obviously junk food. But even eating too much of any kind of food will make a person gain weight. I spend a lot of time focusing on fitness and nutrition nowadays, and I know that it's all about calories in and calories out. If you consume more calories than your body uses per day, you will gain weight. It could be that their metabolisms have slowed down as they are getting older, that they're exercising less but eating the same amount as before, or that they're just plain eating more calories than they need. I personally thinned out without doing anything special by the time I was 13/14 and stayed thin through high school and my early to mid twenties. So unless you can pinpoint some behavior or change in routine that is causing it, if they hold steady at this current level of "heaviness" or body fat percentage, maybe it will go away once they hit puberty. But it can't hurt to ask their doctor if he/she thinks there's any habits that you guys need to change, and ask what is typical at this age.
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kppzbw 12:40 PM 05-14-2015
Thank you all for the advice! I thought I would get verbally murdered and you were all very kind and helpful! I am going to definitely implement the fruits and veggies in between meals and I liked the fruit basket on the table for grabs. Thank you! Thank you!
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