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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Terminate or work it out??
Unregistered 06:51 AM 08-22-2012
so, essentially my question is your thoughts on if i should drop this child,

2.5y boy.

Drop-off, child is either happy to see me and is left with a smile and bye mommy, abt 2x week. Most days he screams, cries, and says "no, no Mrs. D", then i find out that the days he is screaming is bc mom brings him with a bottle that she is taking from him before getting him out of the car, now she has just started bringing the bottle in with him and says things like, "i just dont know, i cant get it away from him", and "oh, he found one of my cousins bottles over the weekend, i need to start throwing them away, i dont know why we still have it", YOU! Thats why! So i thought she didn't want the bottle and just left it in the cabinet at pick up, next day same thing 5 bottles before i gave them back bc obviously she is using them at home, so that is a minor problem, he does not keep the bottle here i just dont like the melt downs in the morning or the meltdowns when other dcb gets his bottle during the day. He goes into a trance type state and stares into the floor and starts making this " uhhhhh uhhhhhh" sound that gets louder and louder until he all out screams and throws things at whoever happens to be around.

I have had him for abt 3 months now and he is getting worse every week. When we are in the daycare he aggressively goes about knocking things off the shelf, he completely ignores me when asked to stop or flat out stares at me while he continues to do this.

He plays well on his own, and sometimes with others just very unpredictable. Most times just hits others, and throws things at them.

At lunch he will not keep his hands to himself, and is constantly touching the other children just to upset them, not hitting but they just dont want him touching them, or he will use his utensils to poke ppl or touch ppl with. Very annoying.

At nap time he squirms himself all around the room, yesterday he kicked all of the books out of the board book shelf before i managed to get my 14m to sleep. When i try to rub his back to sleep or simply sit by him to make him stop squirming he kicks me continuously, i cant put him in time out bc he screams and i dont want to wake up the children i already have sleeping, so not sure how to put up with the kicking. Yesterday he started screaming at the top of his lungs anyways, before proceeding to kick a sleeping child in the head on purpose.

Later he threw a full sippy -cup of juice at a little girl and hit her in the side of the head.

I hate to give up but it is like i am fighting a losing battle. I consistently put him in time out for bad behavior and praise every good deed i see him doing, even the smallest of things. He is good at helping to clean up the playroom, he is very bright and does well learning new things, colors, numbers, shapes, letters, etc. He is a very sweet boy when he is being sweet, it is just not very often.

I see a lot of neglect from mom who is a single 21 yr old girl, i dont think it is intentional she just lacks in the "motherly instincts" department. Such as his nails are never trimmed, and always dirt packed, his clothes are terribly wrinkled but they are clean, he always has a dirty face bc she lets him eat on the way to daycare, his bottom always appears to have not been cleaned well after his last bm. He just appears unclean.

It is not an income issue, i have plently of other children and a waiting list, i am just working out my thoughts i guess, bc i am thouroughly fed up with him by the end of the day, but after he is gone i am thinking, "well maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe it was just a bad day" and thenhe will pop in with a good day and i think "okay we are getting better" but then itis straight back to his old ways and im thinking "why, havent i gave notice yet?"

Thoughts??
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Crystal 07:19 AM 08-22-2012
As providers, we are expected to have tolerance. However, that does not mean we have to tolerate this type of shenanigans.

I would have a serious sit down with Mom, set a date for major improvements in behavior to be seen and let her know that if there is not significant improvement, that you will have no choice but to terminate care.

This is not healthy for you, the child in question OR the other children in care.

Do what you need to do to maintain your sanity
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Blackcat31 07:40 AM 08-22-2012
It is so important to work WITH parents and from the sounds of it you and mom are on two completely different pages.

You will need to find a way to work with mom or you will be paddling for nothing.
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Sunchimes 07:56 AM 08-22-2012
I can't stand to see a dirty child-not playing hard dirty, but "mom doesn't bother" dirty. Being a single mom isn't an excuse for neglect. Being sure that a child is clean isn't a motherly instinct, it's basic human hygiene.

Ok, end of rant. I would term, and I don't do that lightly. But, kicking another child in the head and throwing cups isn't going to be tolerated here. Too much possible damage.

My recently developed motto, "You can't save them all."
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cheerfuldom 08:08 AM 08-22-2012
I would term.....aggressive behavior towards me or the other children is an immediate termination. As a parent, I would be livid to know that you are keeping a child that is purposefully hurting others. Kicking someone in the head???? no way I would put up with this at all.
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momma2girls 08:57 AM 08-22-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would term.....aggressive behavior towards me or the other children is an immediate termination. As a parent, I would be livid to know that you are keeping a child that is purposefully hurting others. Kicking someone in the head???? no way I would put up with this at all.
I totally agree with posting here.
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